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Why do just not like Darker Bottoms?

Posts: 18

Nov 06, 2014 4:13 AM GMT

Ok this may sound like a personal question, but i just moved to Virginia for college, and it seems that guys don't really go for darker skin bottoms here. Im from Texas and i never really had man troubles. I talked to ever single type of guy, and i was hit on by guys my age and by older man. but since i moved here i go on grinder, adam4adam, gay.com to meet other gay guys for friendship or more, and i always read no Black or things on the line of that, and dont get me wrong i saw those in Texas as well but guys were more open to hang out and talk with just about anyone. Now i know guys like what they like and want what turns them on, but when i read someone profile and we have the same interests and likes, and the fact that we live super close you would think he well message back. WRONG. I even test this out with my gay 17 year old white friend. we messaged the same guys and over half replied to him even after he told him he was underage, and I know im not a ugly dude and I think I have a killer personally. I just want to know why are Darker skin bottoms looked down on, or just don't turn people on? looking for a really good conversation here please don't be rude

Kovyn

Posts: 117

Nov 06, 2014 4:25 AM GMT

Its just preference. I could never hookup with someone that isn't white. It doesn't matter how hot they are, how great their personality is, how much money they have, if they're famous - it's just preference. I'm not being racist either, it's just other ethnicities don't turn me on. You just gotta find guys that are turned on by black guys.

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Nov 06, 2014 4:36 AM GMT

You're black dude. Let's just be honest. In the gay world, whites and non-ethnic looking Latinos reign supreme...and you just don't fit that mold.

Story time!!!

While in Mykonos for the Xlsisor Circuit parties, 98% of all party goers were white or Latino from Europe, the US, or Latin America. In that order. I saw very very few blacks or Asians.

I was having a 3 way with 2 HOT muscly British dudes that quickly....ahem...gained a following at a hotel. (make of that as you will

) Anyways, a younger black bottom wanted to join the mix but none of us were really into black guys, and a black bottom? That's just almost unheard of. So sorry to say, he didn't get any that night.

Not to say that nobody likes black bottoms. There is someone out there for anyone...you'll just be hard pressed to find one that does in Greece....

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Nov 06, 2014 4:37 AM GMT

1. "It's just preference" just sounds incredibly stupid in light of the overwhelming majority of blacks, asians, latinos, etc who all "prefer" white.

2. I'd do a black bottom if he has a nice face/skin/muscles lol

3. IMO this post should be at the top of every race thread, so:

Aqueerius saidDidn't read thread, but as with every race thread, there's gonna be so much misleading going on by those who benefit from the racial hierarchy the way it is...

...that all I have to say to minority guys who prefer white guys is that they better not settle for any less to achieve this, because they're shooting themselves in the foot by making themselves even less desirable to their preferred race.

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Nov 06, 2014 4:44 AM GMT

Oh look, another race baiting/white privilege thread

CuteGamerboy

Posts: 18

Nov 06, 2014 4:49 AM GMT

I understand all that and to tell you the truth I only see this in guys my age or 30 and under. when I talk to a older dude try are like in love with me. I meet so many nice guys around the wrong, but it pains me to see someone say no blacks/Asian and then they go on about how they went sex to be with someone they have a bond with. and what is sexy is sexy and ugly is ugly. I also understand the whole date inside race, but even black tops always go for the lighter bottom. Sex is a very important port to any relationship, but after sex what do you have to people that don't get along. and it does not make any sense to me how a guy can say i only date white/Latin men. where the Latin race is almost just like the black race mins people from Spain. so it just blows my mind is all.

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Nov 06, 2014 4:53 AM GMT

CuteGamerboy saidI understand all that and to tell you the truth I only see this in guys my age or 30 and under. when I talk to a older dude try are like in love with me. I meet so many nice guys around the wrong, but it pains me to see someone say no blacks/Asian and then they go on about how they went sex to be with someone they have a bond with. and what is sexy is sexy and ugly is ugly. I also understand the whole date inside race, but even black tops always go for the lighter bottom. Sex is a very important port to any relationship, but after sex what do you have to people that don't get along. and it does not make any sense to me how a guy can say i only date white/Latin men. where the Latin race is almost just like the black race mins people from Spain. so it just blows my mind is all.

1) Latin is not a race

2) We are not alike

3) You are an idiot

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Nov 06, 2014 4:57 AM GMT

CuteGamerboy saidI only see this in guys my age or 30 and under. when I talk to a older dude try are like in love with me

No shit. Fat or ugly white dudes will love you too.

CuteGamerboy

Posts: 18

Nov 06, 2014 5:02 AM GMT

lmao for the most part I do love older man, and ever older man I been with was far from ugly or white. I just would like to hang out with a guy my age, and white dudes are ok but I like man with some culture behind them, so this has nothing to do with the whole Black/White things. Just darker bottoms as a whole

CuteGamerboy

Posts: 18

Nov 06, 2014 5:24 AM GMT

tell me about it i like all guys, and different parts of the body turn me on one more then others but if your a guys with big arms hits on me black, white, Latin, or Asian that's something that turns people on more then color.

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Nov 06, 2014 5:27 AM GMT

Maybe people are friendlier and open-minded in Texas in general?? The southern hospitality?? I don't know.

Hope you find someone compatible soon.

CuteGamerboy

Posts: 18

Nov 06, 2014 5:33 AM GMT

polfsky saidMaybe people are friendlier and open-minded in Texas in general?? The southern hospitality?? I don't know.

Hope you find someone compatible soon.

Its not really about finding someone to date, its more like I would like to build a good network with other gays, dating would be a great plus but I really just want a good group of gay friends

CuteGamerboy

Posts: 18

Nov 06, 2014 5:38 AM GMT

pazzy said
CuteGamerboy saidtell me about it i like all guys, and different parts of the body turn me on one more then others but if your a guys with big arms hits on me black, white, Latin, or Asian that's something that turns people on more then color.

yeah, man... i pretty much like the whole rainbow of men and shit where i can't say that i have a preference or really a particular type of guy that i shoot for. it's more of an individual basis type of thing.

not knocking anybody that does have preferences for. just have a problem when they use it as an excuse to be disrespectful towards others. if someone isn't interested in dating short guys or black guys, it's all good BUT they most definitely are barking up the wrong try by saying "fuck black guys. n-word this. racial slur that."

the thing that gets me though is how folks stay doing that shit to other gay guys but would never have the balls to talk that shit to a straight person or the homophobes. folks be all scared too. put one of these dudes saying "no black guys" on a subway full of straight black dudes and watch how uncomfortable they act like some bitches.

yes that's so true, and I think we as gays have to be together if we are ever going to get all of are rights and freedoms, but we keep putting each other down.

SilverRRCloud

Posts: 901

Nov 06, 2014 5:38 AM GMT

No matter what we all say here, the right of association is known to every guy out there. Like it or not.

It is actually pointless to wonder about why some men do not like any particular race, looks, age group or body image. They don't, and the others do. Their reasons may be either legitimate or illegitimate but that does not change anything. If a dude does not want you, he doesn't.

Some areas tend to lean heavily to one particular type of a universally preferred guy type. Say, there are parts of Spain that are heavily pro-bears. They like them big, heavy and hairy. There are areas in Europe that are rather pro-twink minded, etc. Being a twink in a pro-bear environment may not be really ideal.

You are where you are. At times, your looks are deemed to be in by the majority of other dudes, and at times, you end up being to the liking of a minority.

Dating functions precisely like any other market. If what you are putting on the table is really deemed attractive to a minority, you'll have to strike a few items off your bucket list if you want to connect. Or be prepared to invest a lot of time and energy into trying to connect, and failing to do so. They say, you sell either by the price or by the frequency.

Remember that the evolutionary theory says that we have been endowed with higher intelligence mostly for the purpose of partner selection. So, yeah, it is complex.

SC

CuteGamerboy

Posts: 18

Nov 06, 2014 5:40 AM GMT

silentnight1 saidseems like racism just revolves around black people every day lifes and of course it is always the skin color that is responsible for every aspect of their lifes

Always remember to accentuate that you are black
yeah

This is trash

LMAO dude did you even read this, I said for DARKER BOTTOMS, that goes for a whole bunch of different people from different background. Black people are not the only dark race and the black races comes in so many colors so please check yourself.

CuteGamerboy

Posts: 18

Nov 06, 2014 5:45 AM GMT

SilverRRCloud saidNo matter what we all say here, the right of association is known to every guy out there. Like it or not.

It is actually pointless to wonder about why some men do not like any particular race, looks, age group or body image. They don't, and the others do. Their reasons may be either legitimate or illegitimate but that does not change anything. If a dude does not want you, he doesn't.

Some areas tend to lean heavily to one particular type of a universally preferred guy type. Say, there are parts of Spain that are heavily pro-bears. They like them big, heavy and hairy. There are areas in Europe that are rather pro-twink minded, etc. Being a twink in a pro-bear environment may not be really ideal.

You are where you are. At times, your looks are deemed to be in by the majority of other dudes, and at times, you end up being to the liking of a minority.

Dating functions precisely like any other market. If what you are putting on the table is really deemed attractive to a minority, you'll have to strike a few items off your bucket list if you want to connect. Or be prepared to invest a lot of time and energy into trying to connect, and failing to do so. They say, you sell either by the price or by the frequency.

Remember that the evolutionary theory says that we have been endowed with higher intelligence mostly for the purpose of partner selection. So, yeah, it is complex.

SC

I understand all that your saying and I agree with you, but I only wonder because most of the gay world thinks like that. I read so many profiles that guys say no Black/Asian or anything along those lines, and I happen to know that's just our culture and world we live in today

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Nov 06, 2014 6:49 AM GMT

jmusmc85 said
CuteGamerboy saidI understand all that and to tell you the truth I only see this in guys my age or 30 and under. when I talk to a older dude try are like in love with me. I meet so many nice guys around the wrong, but it pains me to see someone say no blacks/Asian and then they go on about how they went sex to be with someone they have a bond with. and what is sexy is sexy and ugly is ugly. I also understand the whole date inside race, but even black tops always go for the lighter bottom. Sex is a very important port to any relationship, but after sex what do you have to people that don't get along. and it does not make any sense to me how a guy can say i only date white/Latin men. where the Latin race is almost just like the black race mins people from Spain. so it just blows my mind is all.

1) Latin is not a race

2) We are not alike

3) You are an idiot

Hey, how about instead of being an asshole and could give a fucken explanation to your point.

But anyways, back to CuteGamerboy. Whenever I see anyone who's states "WHITE ONLY", I find that as instant turn off. Then some of them will say "ITS JUST A PREFERENCE" like Kovyn did, just to make themselves seem less bias. Here is a better explanation:
Racial preferences reduce people to their ethnicity and reinforce racial hierarchies by insinuating that race alone is a powerful enough factor to negate everything else that someone has to offer.

So honestly you're just gonna have to live with the fact that some people are just fucked up in there way of thinking and one day you'll probably be able to live in an environment that is much more open minded such as a bigger city. But for now your gonna have to settle with what you can. You're not ugly and I'm sure in the real world, tons of guys would go after you. Sadly, Virginia is just too close minded. Good luck.

BloodFlame

Posts: 1798

Nov 06, 2014 6:53 AM GMT

Even though it is true to a degree that this kind of topic is rather done a lot here, here's what I have to say as I can somewhat see where you're coming from.

I'm still a virgin in the sense that I have not bottomed or topped yet (saving that for someone I care for), I do feel I am more prone to be the bottom and where I live, I do see that darker skinned bottoms have no appeal unless you are a female t-girl and yeah, it really does suck but you have to remember to keep your chin up and don't let the negativity get to you. Yeah, whenever I browse profiles and come across "No Blacks", I just shrug it off and move on. I understand what you mean when you said that it stinks when you read the profile and see that you have quite a few things in common until you read the aforementioned quote. I've been there and still experience it every now and then but honestly, dwelling on it is not productive. I'm not saying you are but I'm just speaking in general.

I know it feels like sometimes you get the short end of the stick with being black and being thought of as undesirable or even "ugly"; but the underlying truth is not all gay men feel this way so whatever you do, don't panic or overreact or drop your standards to settle for something you really don't want.

On another note, SilverRRCloud raosed a good point. When it comes to demographics, it's going to depend where you live. Some places are more prone to have certain preferences than others. So try to keep this in mind. Considering that you are in Virginia, I can't say it's too surprising to see such a shift in peoples' open mindedness. Just try to focus with college and when you're done and have money saved up, you can move to a more open-minded place. I suggest trying a more metropolitan area that has a diverse mix of people.

You're only 19, you have plenty of time and you're handsome. Just keep a positive attitude and outlook and you'll meet a guy(s) eventually. Hang in there!

Kovyn

Posts: 117

Nov 06, 2014 8:37 AM GMT

hentailover said1. "It's just preference" just sounds incredibly stupid in light of the overwhelming majority of blacks, asians, latinos, etc who all "prefer" white.

That's because we're white helloooo. I'm not into blacks for the same reason I'm not into Asians: you don't turn me on.

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Nov 06, 2014 10:21 AM GMT

To the OP.
I get what you're saying and for the most part I agree with what other people have said in this thread that when people completely discount what a person has to offer purely based off their race, it does seem quite racist.
In saying that though what is it that you can really do?
At the end if the day they have the freedom to choose whatever it is they find attractive and that onus is completely on them.
I mean sure we can tell them that it seems racist and it's not a good ideal to follow, but short from that I feel like at the end of the day I wouldn't want to be trying to 'convince' someone to find me attractive.

If it's something legitimate or even if it's downright plain racism, if someone has decided that I'm unattractive and not worth any time, it's their prerogative because they have the freedom to invest their time into whatever they want.
You can't control that and in the end, all they'll think is that your trying to convince them to like you.
Not that I'm saying to accept racism, but as long as I have my rights and they are respected, then that's fine you don't have to find me attractive.
This is just my own personal perspective of course but I swear it's honestly helped me be genuinely okay with the fact that most people may consider me unattractive for whatever reason, be it race, looks, personality or a mixture on all of them.
For the fewer amount of people that may find me attractive in an unconventional sort of way then cool and I'll thank them for the kind words. At least hearing it less often makes you appreciate it more when you hear it

Lastly don't get me wrong OP I'm not saying that you're ugly.
As you've heard from some people, you could be fit and charming with a great personality and still not be enough because of your colour. Just focus on being a kind person because you'll eventually attract the same

I mean well with everything I've said and apologise if it didn't come across that way.

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Nov 06, 2014 11:52 AM GMT

Be happy OP, at least you're not some white fatass trash.
They are the worst of all, rejected by everyone and hence miserable low scum.

HndsmKansan

Posts: 16327

Nov 06, 2014 12:16 PM GMT

Guys have their preferences, no doubt you will find a number of dudes who'd enjoy a nice looking black bottom guy. I think you have to be patient, I can imagine it can be a little aggravating, but first and foremost, you are there for school and I'd make sure that continues to be your number one priority. Hopefully, with some socializing on the side, your social life will follow.

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Nov 06, 2014 1:11 PM GMT

CuteGamerboy saidOk this may sound like a personal question, but i just moved to Virginia for college, and it seems that guys don't really go for darker skin bottoms here. Im from Texas and i never really had man troubles. I talked to ever single type of guy, and i was hit on by guys my age and by older man. but since i moved here i go on grinder, adam4adam, gay.com to meet other gay guys for friendship or more, and i always read no Black or things on the line of that, and dont get me wrong i saw those in Texas as well but guys were more open to hang out and talk with just about anyone. Now i know guys like what they like and want what turns them on, but when i read someone profile and we have the same interests and likes, and the fact that we live super close you would think he well message back. WRONG. I even test this out with my gay 17 year old white friend. we messaged the same guys and over half replied to him even after he told him he was underage, and I know im not a ugly dude and I think I have a killer personally. I just want to know why are Darker skin bottoms looked down on, or just don't turn people on? looking for a really good conversation here please don't be rude

OP this is my reaction when someone doesn't like me for my skin color, facial features, body type, or anything else I can't (won't) change.

At the end of the day, I keep in mind that there's too much goddamn dick out in this world for me to worry about a few of them not getting hard at the sight of me.

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Nov 06, 2014 2:20 PM GMT

I used to feel the same about blacks (not my preference, dont turn me on, dont fit as bottoms) until I saw BC's pics on RJ - best ass Ive ever seen, totally changed my mind to a degree. I still dont find most blacks attractive but I know some can be damn hot.

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Nov 06, 2014 2:31 PM GMT

I think a lot of it may also stem from expectations set up by (predominantly) white fantasies in gay porn -- that gay black men are all hung, "masculine", aggressive tops for submissive -- but not necessarily "feminine" -- white bottoms. In the rare occasions they do bottom/flip-flop for a white guy, both parties tend to be muscular, "masculine" and very passionate.

"Thug" videos tend go one step further -- that gay black men who bottom are less "masculine" than the black top and/or the black top is very emotionally distant (no kissing, limited affection). Rarely have I seen videos with a non-black man topping a black man.

For non-black men who haven't had experience with black men, I'm sure this sets a skewed precedent for what they think black men want. It sounds almost silly to say that I'm sure non-black men are shocked to hear that a black man wants to bottom -- but for some guys, who have had limited contact with gay men of other races -- gay porn may be there only frame of reference (as knowingly unrealistic as it is).

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Why do just not like Darker Bottoms?