my friend is the sluttiest guy ive ever met :s

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    Nov 09, 2014 1:43 AM GMT
    so im the type of guy that doesnt sleep around much. im always searching for that special someone, but ive given into temptations before haha.. n i kno someone that sleeps around all the time .. like he told me he slept with 17 guys in the past month :S and some on the same day! he says he plays safe, but how safe can it be wen ur with that many guys? dont get me wrong i dont have anything against sluts.. i feel like i wud be a total slut if i wasnt so scared of stds haha..

    but wat i dont get is how do some guys sleep around without this fear of stds? especially wen the guys their sleeping with r total strangers? i personally need a certain amount of trust before i sleep with anyone..

  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 847

    Nov 11, 2014 5:55 AM GMT
    Actually, your friend can possibly be safer knowing that he has a very high level of risk exposure and always sticking to his condom routine than someone who is very conservative, wants to get to know the guy, kinda fall in love with him, learn to trust him, and then, possibly throw the caution to the winds, because he trusts the guy whom he thinks he knows, and the seroconversion happens.

    You want to be realistic here. You are 22. How much of a life experience do you have under your belt to be able to decide reasonably well if you can trust the guy or not? The chances are that you think, 'yeah, I can.' The truth MAY be very different?

    What your post here really seems to be all about is really about you questioning your lifestyle vs. that of your "slutty" friend. You seem to be looking for a rationale for your holding back, since he seems to be having all the fun, and you seem to be in a holding loop. The danger of STDs is not the rationale here.

    The rationale here is that you may be having a background of different cultural conditioning than your ehm, "slutty" friend. Your profile shows that you are looking for a heteronormative romance with lots of cuddling, watching movies together, and doing many things with your BF in the future. Your friend sees his sexual life as something that has little or no relationship with his emotional life. Sex is a need that he has, and he works towards having it sated. It works for him. The more the merrier.

    Does your pattern of behavior work for you?

  • Bowyn_Aerrow

    Posts: 357

    Nov 11, 2014 9:35 AM GMT
    While its true that condoms cut the risk of spread of an STD on average 80%, Average is in this statistical sense a red herring of safety.

    It doesn't mean that out of 100 times you have sex that 20 of those times you will be exposed, the other 80 times you are safe.

    It means that each time you have sex there is a 20% risk of getting an STD.

    That can happen on the first time you have sex - ever, or on the millionth time you have sex. Or fall anywhere between.

    I have known guys who have had the luck of the draw on their first few occasions of sex wore protection and all of that. I also know guys who are "sluts" who do all manner of unsafe things and have dodged the bullet over and over again.

    As for people in general and your 'trust' thing...

    Protip: Trust no one.