To beard, or NOT to beard?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 11, 2014 9:05 AM GMT
    Simple vanity question - sue me.

    The bf wants me to shave. I don't. What do you think?

    For context, I tried to find a pic of me without one, but it's been so long none of them would be accurate.

    Cheers guys icon_smile.gif

  • Bowyn_Aerrow

    Posts: 357

    Nov 11, 2014 9:50 AM GMT
    This question is actually a bit more complex than just 'who is right and who is wrong'. Its not all about vanity, nor is it simple. Without knowing the full story here let me ramble on (I'm old, its my prerogative to ramble; but let my age give you some wisdom)

    When you meet the BF did you have a beard? If so did not you ask his opinion when you decided to grow one?

    If not, why did you just up and decide to make this sort of change without including the one person in the whole world, besides yourself who would have to live with this choice?

    Was it mere vanity when you decided to leave him out of the loop (after all he is the one who sees it the most, unless you always have your face in the mirror then you have other problems to deal with first).


    Conversely, if you two met and you already had that full beard (it is a nice one BTW) I would wonder what was going through his mind when he first met The Beard... is it one of those 'This guy is perfect but....' situations?

    If so, does that mean the beard is a symbol of other issues in your relationship that he plans on changing in you?


    Now it could be that he wants to see what you look like with out all of that hair. Guys do get curious... So everything above may not be an issue. If none of that really applies then why not try something new, shave the beard and see what happens?

    If you don't like it or gravity shuts off or something horrific you can always grow it back. Right?



  • nehpets987

    Posts: 19

    Nov 11, 2014 12:35 PM GMT
    Just shave it. If it doesn't work out then just grow it back.
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    Nov 11, 2014 1:20 PM GMT
    I've been through this a little myself. I generally tend to default to my partner or BF in terms of my appearance. After all, he's the one I want to please most, and who has to look at me all the time. Whereas I try to avoid mirrors like a vampire.

    My first BF had a short mustache, that was like a stiff bristle brush to my skin when we kissed. I knew he'd had it forever, so I simply grew my own mustache as a protective barrier. That solution worked well, no more prickly kisses.

    I had another BF with a short beard, and his face was rough on the skin of my groin when he was down there working on me. Nothing more I could grow of my own in that situation, all I could say was to be careful. Maybe the OP's BF finds the beard uncomfortable when they're being intimate. Have they been together long? Perhaps being more careful in bed would help.

    I had a beard when I started dating my late partner. I sensed he wasn't too keen about it, and with the hot humidity in his city of Houston I wasn't so much anymore, either.

    So I told him my intention to shave it all, and he said fine. When I came out of the bathroom he was shocked & overjoyed. I hadn't realized he liked them a little young (I was already 3 years his junior), he just raved how I looked 10 to 15 years younger, and called himself a chicken hawk. It was just a few weeks later he formally proposed to me, and we became partners until his tragic early death.

    I asked my current partner if I could try a beard again for a while, I was curious how white it had gotten over the last years. (Answer: VERY) As it was coming in he began to dislike it, but I asked him to be patient and let me bring it to the shape & length I thought would work, then reconsider at that time.

    Our friends began to tell me how much they admired my new look (even a few strangers, and my barber also approves), and he began to be won over. Today he says he really likes it, so I've kept it for several months now.

    But I never keep a beard or mustache for very long, and when it comes off I'm sure I'll get compliments the other way, if only because of the novelty of the change. And it's only hair, I've always got more (at least on my face). At this length I can grow it back in 2-3 weeks.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 11, 2014 1:39 PM GMT
    shave it somewhat use a trimmer, keep it like a overnight scruff. I think a good bf can have debs on your personal grooming habits.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 11, 2014 2:14 PM GMT
    Keep, it's a great sexy look on you
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Nov 11, 2014 3:08 PM GMT
    All the right questions asked above so I'll just comment on aesthetics. It makes your head look too big for your body. You'd be more handsome without it. Besides, the beard thing is over.
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    Nov 11, 2014 3:36 PM GMT
    My personal opinion is that I have the rest of my life to grow a beard and cover up my face. While I'm young I'm showing off my square jawline, bare. It's just as masculine as a beard, honestly, and it embraces your age (imo). But I think you look good in a beard, so you might want to keep it, but really consider how, as you get older, the beard will look more and more natural, but a bare face will be less and less flattering (via aging)
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Nov 11, 2014 3:46 PM GMT
    In my profile picture, I ask the same thing of myself and ask for input... just seeing what I'd receive.

    I think you should do what you want to do. I like to change it up and not look the same all the time. If you have had your beard for some time, shave it off and change up your look. If after shaving, you hate it, just grow it back. The boyfriend will be thrilled at the change in look during the holidays and just grow it back in January if you want to change it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 11, 2014 4:40 PM GMT
    Beards are so sexy. Personally I hate them on me. Mine would be snow white now. I can't get past about day 5, 6 before it itches me to death.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 11, 2014 4:49 PM GMT
    I personally don't like facial hair, so my preference would be for you to eliminate it. However, this is between you and your BF, so I would tend to follow his desires. You'll be attractive whichever you choose.
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    Nov 11, 2014 5:28 PM GMT
    Always Beard
  • MarvelBoy23

    Posts: 279

    Nov 11, 2014 5:53 PM GMT
    hairyandym saidBeards are so sexy. Personally I hate them on me. Mine would be snow white now. I can't get past about day 5, 6 before it itches me to death.


    The itch is killer... Once it gets long enough (which is torturous waiting) it really doesn't itch anymore. I am no-shaving for november....

    We'll see if I can make it!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 11, 2014 6:23 PM GMT
    Lol I have this dilemma too.

    I like having a smooth clean face (much better for kissing) but people keep telling me I look better with stubble/bit of a beard going on.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 11, 2014 6:44 PM GMT
    Woah, I didn't realise my pubic hair would be quite so popular icon_cool.gif

    In answer to you, Bowyn, I had stubble when we got together, and he does like the beard. It grows pretty fast, so within a month he'd seen me as I am now.

    I probably ought to have clarified that he HAS seen me without a beard, we've been going out for 14 months and I do normally trim it fairly close every month or so - I just hate wet shaving. It's definitely not as deep an issue as you suggest, but full marks for creativity! icon_biggrin.gif

    I do think I'll trim it to be honest; at the end of the day like you guys said, he is No. 1 when it comes to aesthetics - I'm probably just lazy (plus I hate my face naked). It's encouraging that I'm not the only one with this 'problem' though xD
  • allatonce

    Posts: 904

    Nov 11, 2014 6:57 PM GMT
    Just trim it down to a bit of stubble, I also hate wet shaving and haven't done it in years. Give it a try for your partner, if you don't like it grow it back again. It's just hair.
  • cookingitswee...

    Posts: 445

    Nov 11, 2014 8:58 PM GMT
    Do what you want. You can do what you want with your body and he can do what he wants with his
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 11, 2014 9:38 PM GMT
    Don't shave. Find a boyfriend who likes your beard.

    icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 11, 2014 10:19 PM GMT
    To beard. Definitely.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 11, 2014 11:01 PM GMT
    nehpets987 saidJust shave it. If it doesn't work out then just grow it back.


    Seriously, it's only hair. It grows back.
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    Nov 11, 2014 11:05 PM GMT
    cookingitsweet saidDo what you want. You can do what you want with your body and he can do what he wants with his


    Exactly, my BF told me just yesterday that come the new year he had plans to shave his beard off and cut his hair short to try a new look. I told him it was his hair and beard to do with what he sees fit. I'm not in love with his hair or beard. I love him for who he is. If every hair on his body fell out tomorrow I wouldn't affect how much I love him.
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    Nov 11, 2014 11:08 PM GMT
    Maybe he doesn't like the scratching when you eat him out?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 12, 2014 12:19 AM GMT
    I think you look good with the beard, so I'd keep it.
  • somedaytoo

    Posts: 704

    Nov 12, 2014 12:55 AM GMT
    I like it, but I'm sure you'll look great either way.
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    Nov 12, 2014 2:13 AM GMT
    Ckfeezy saidAlways Beard


    yup.