OK, so here's some "legit" answers...
On TV, Spartacus featured some gay gladiators - is that butch enough for ya? Yeah they were relatively minor characters, but they were not defined by their sexuality. It was more like, "Oh and by the way, these two alpha bull studs are fucking each other..."
If you need a non-stereotypical gay lead character in a major motion picture, the best example that comes to mind is Val Kilmer (as Gay Perry) in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. He's a competent and professional private eye (or private dick?) who happens to be gay. He can even be sort of a tough guy when it matters. Sure, they have a little fun with his gayness - it's a comedy, after all (his ring tone is "I Will Survive", for Christ's sake) - but for the most part he plays the "straight man" to Robert Downey Jr's comic buffoon. They very easily could have made his character straight, with no significant change to the plot. But then we would have missed out on the classic line: "Don't quit your gay job!"
So, why don't we see more movies like that? Because Hollywood is in the business of making money. It isn't an art show. The major studios won't run the risk of alienating 90% of their audience with a gay hero. And the independent gay filmmakers know what their audiences overwhelmingly want to see - stereotypes, the more blatant and burlesqued the better. Maybe when gay people finally get tired of drag shows we'll see somebody take a chance on a gay James Bond or Indiana Jones. But until that happens, you can bet they'll be sticking to the path of least resistance and playing to a ready-made audience.