code words for "love", pls?

  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Jan 17, 2009 1:52 PM GMT
    my bf and i are getting increasingly closer and deeper into our relationship; to the point that i use the "L" word at certain intimate moments. he says i am not freaking him out when i use it; but suspect i am. he returns the workd, but never uses it before i do.

    what other "code words" do you guys use to express this deep, intense emotion?
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    Jan 17, 2009 2:30 PM GMT
    HA! YOU BEEN LISTENIN' AT MY BEDROOM DOOR? LOL...

    NO, REALLY, I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE YOU ARE COMING FROM, BELIEVE ME. MY BOYFRIEND AND I HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR NEARLY TWO YEARS, AND I WAS THE FIRST TO ADMIT, HONESTLY, TO MY DEEPENING FEELINGS FOR HIM. FOR A LONG TIME, HE EVEN REFUSED TO SEE THAT WE WERE IN A RELATIONSHIP. FROM THE VERY START, FEELINGS HAD KICKED IN FOR BOTH OF US, ALONG WITH THE AWESOME MUTUAL CHEMISTRY AND SEX. BUT HE HAD ONLY BEEN OUT OF A 12 YEAR MARRIAGE WITH ANOTHER MAN FOR 4 MONTHS AT THE TIME OF OUR MEETING....ANYWAY, THATS WHOLE OTHER POSTING!

    SOO...WE BOTH REALIZED WE WERE IN RELATIONSHIP. I USED THE "L" WORD, AND HE TOLD ME IT DID MAKE HIM LITTLE UNCOMFORTABLE, SO I PULLED BACK. HE KNEW THAT I LOVED HIM BY MY ACTIONS TOWARD HIM, ANYWAY. AND HE DID USE THE WORD TOWARD ME, OCASSIONALLY, BUT IT WAS ALWAYS WITH A "QUALIFIER"... I LOVE YOU..LIKE A FRIEND. I WOULD LOVE YOU, BUT DO NOT WANT TO HURT YOU...THAT SORT OF THING. AND IF HE DID MAKE A FREUDIAN SLIP, HE WOULD QUICKLY INTERSPERSE SOME SORT OF EXPLANATION. BUT THE THING IS...I KNEW THAT HE LOVED ME, EVEN WITHOUT THE WORD BEING SAID. AT ONE TIME, HE TOLD ME THAT I WOULD CRY WHEN HE FINALLY TOLD ME THAT HE LOVED ME....

    WELL, IT TOOK ME BEING IN THE HOSPITAL, FOLLOWING A BEATING AT THE HANDS OF OTHERS, FOR HIM TO REALIZE HIS LOVE, FULLY. HE SAW ME IN PAIN, AND FEARED FOR MY HEALTH..AND AS HE WAS LEAVING THE ROOM, SAID, "I LOVE YOU BUD"...

    I WAS SO OUT OF IT, I DONT ACTUALLY REMEMBER A LOT OF THAT PERIOD IN MY LIFE. I DO REMEMBER HIS TELLING THE NURSING STAFF THAT WE WERE FAMILY....HE HAD BEEN INSIDE OF ME, AND I HAD BEEN INSIDE OF HIM. I REMEMBER HIM ASKING FOR A CHAIR SO THAT HE COULD SLEEP BESIDE MY BED ALL NIGHT LONG, HOLDING MY HAND. AND I DO REMEMBER HIS WORDS AS HE LEFT THE ROOM...

    WHILE AT HIS APARTMENT THE FOLLOWING WEEK, RECOVERING, HE ASKED ME IF I REMEMBERED WHAT HE HAD SAID IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM. I RESPONDED THAT I DID, AND IF THERE WERE "QUALIFICATIONS" THIS TIME? HE TOLD ME THERE WERE NONE. MATTER OF FACT, TWICE IN THAT WEEK, IN ROOMS FULL OF PEOPLE, HE ANNOUNCED THAT HE "LOVED THIS MAN"...

    AND EVEN YET, THREE MONTHS AFTER HIS REALIZATION AND HONESTY WITH HIMSELF, AND ME..HE IS STILL HESITANT TO SAY THOSE SWEET WORDS, TOO OFTEN. AND HE TOLD ME, THAT HE WAS NOT GOOD AT SAYING THEM. SO, NOT WANTING TO MAKE HIM UNCOMFORTABLE, I HOLD MY EXPRESSION OF LOVE TO ONCE A DAY, JUST BEFORE GOING TO BED, I CALL OR TEXT HIM OF MY FEELINGS, WISH HIM GOOD REST AND SWEET DREAMS. USUALLY, I INITIATE THE WORDS, BUT HE ALWAYS EXPRESSES THEM BACK. AND WHEN HE IS THE ONE TO INITIATE THEM..MY HEART SWELLS INSIDE MY CHEST.

    SO MY RECCOMENDATION? USE THE WORD SPARINGLY. THERE ARE OTHER WORDS THAT YOU CAN USE...DEEP CARING, ADORE..BUT THEY MEAN THE SAME THING. AND THE ACTIONS BETWEEN YOU BOTH SPEAK MUCH LOUDER THAN WORDS. I KNOW. I AM WALKING TESTIMONY

    AND THE FUNNY THING? BEFORE I MET HIM, I COULD NOT SAY THOSE WORDS TO OTHER PEOPLE...NOT EVEN MY OWN FAMILY MEMBERS, AS WE DO NOT EXPRESS OUR FEELINGS ALOUD. HE OPENED MY LIFE..AND MY EMOTIONS, SO THAT I COULD SHARE. AND I HAVE TOLD HIM THAT. HE IS GETTING MORE AND MORE COMFORTABLE WITH MY VERBAL, AND WRITTEN EXPRESSION, BUT I DO NOT PUSH IT.
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    Jan 17, 2009 3:42 PM GMT
    Think back to the famous movie "Ghost"..Patrick Swayze used the word "Ditto"....maybe this will work..
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    Jan 17, 2009 4:03 PM GMT
    Yah, I'm not so sure there are too many code words.

    Answer if you're trying to catch words from him: Don't press the issue though, then you know he'll become pressured. Just let the idea go and wait for a surprise. Don't change the way you act towards him necessarily, but just drop the idea of him saying if first for now. Two years down the road, you should probably be concerned, but otherwise...some guys just have to take time with these things. Any kind of pressure, or even the sheer idea in your head that he should be saying it first, will just run him off. Let things happen naturally and don't look for ways he can verify his honest feelings for you.

    Answer if you need words to not scare him off: Since I don't think there are many, this is something you'll come up with together. Otherwise, I've sometimes found the pet name thing and romantic gestures to fill my need to let someone know how I feel.
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    Jan 17, 2009 6:39 PM GMT
    Unless you are saying I love you in a diffrent language there aren't any code words. Does it bother you that your bf only say it after you or never first that could be just him it does mean that he doe not love you.

    It sounds like you are testing him. What matters is that you are saying and the way he respond just could be the way he communicates.


    relax.icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jan 17, 2009 7:04 PM GMT
    Please don't type in caps it feels like you are shouting at me.
  • Thirdbeach

    Posts: 1364

    Jan 17, 2009 7:09 PM GMT
    redheadguy saidPlease don't type in caps it feels like you are shouting at me.

    Red:
    That seems a bit of a round about out way to tell someone you love them. How would you ever come up with a code phrase like that.
    Even in the bedroom, looking into his eyes and cuddling it seems a bit odd to suddenly say "Please don't type in caps it feels like you are shouting at me."
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    Jan 17, 2009 7:26 PM GMT
    I say that's not a bad thing at all. If you're to the point that you can say it not he says it back, I don't really see a problem. Just take things the way they are. trust me
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Jan 17, 2009 8:10 PM GMT
    when i tore a tendon in my knee and was in tremendous pain, he was at my side 5 minutes (and 12 miles away from me!) after i called, carried me out of my house to the emergency room and then drove me to my mother's house and carried me into the house to my old bedroom...AFTER a 14 hour EMT shift night shift and 2 hours of sleep.

    there are many forms of love in this world! icon_exclaim.gif
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    Jan 17, 2009 8:16 PM GMT
    The key is... at least according to girls I know is icon_razz.gif


    Not to use it directly but to say, I love when you do that it's so thoughtful, or I love spending time with you.

    That way guys let there gaurd down and be come adjusted to hearing it and using the L word before you use it directly and ask them to reciprocate
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    Jan 17, 2009 8:25 PM GMT
    Thirdbeach said
    redheadguy saidPlease don't type in caps it feels like you are shouting at me.

    Red:
    That seems a bit of a round about out way to tell someone you love them. How would you ever come up with a code phrase like that.
    Even in the bedroom, looking into his eyes and cuddling it seems a bit odd to suddenly say "Please don't type in caps it feels like you are shouting at me."


    ROFLMAO!!!