little help in bed while topping

  • zachi2

    Posts: 2

    Nov 14, 2014 7:14 PM GMT
    so my boyfriend and i have been together for almost 4 years now, and i dont know how much he enjoys me having to pull out and jerk off to climax. When we first got together, we found out we were both mostly bottoms, but i felt something with him, so i decided to be the top. Now i enjoy topping, but i can rarely orgasm when i top. Even when i jerk off, it takes me a while and im pulling on my balls and fingering myself. So im sitting here wondering if i could almost use a cock ring to almost help act like im tugging the skin back, or get a vibrating plug while im having sex with my boyfriend. Anyone have any insight?
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Nov 14, 2014 7:24 PM GMT
    I wouldn't worry about your partner too much. These things are mostly OK if you care about the guy you're with. Though no harm in trying to change things up and find something new that's fun. I'll be curious to see if anyone has any ideas. I was with a bottom guy that liked to top occasionally that had the same issue. Didn't bother me but I can see how it could be more fun for you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 15, 2014 5:43 AM GMT
    Try something like this:

    http://www.adamstoybox.com/cock-wear/the-clencher-cock-ring-butt-plug.html

    It'll give you the anal stimulation in sync with your bf.
  • zachi2

    Posts: 2

    Nov 15, 2014 6:08 AM GMT
    ill think about giving that a try. And as for changing it up, im not vanilla at all when it comes to sex XD
  • ukotter

    Posts: 5

    Nov 15, 2014 11:20 AM GMT
    I love it, the clencher. My fella is a bottom, but I'm so worried about giving him a good time, I really struggle to keep hard. This might solve all the problems! Either that, or more practice. icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 15, 2014 11:52 AM GMT
    if you've been together for four years, you must know enough about each other. and if both of you knew going into things that you were both bottoms, he should understand that topping isn't give you the stimulus you need, but you're doing it for him to help him get off.

    In my bed, this would have initiated a conversation of "quid pro quo"... explain to him that you need to be topped as much as he does, and see if you can get him to do a little giving.

    After 4 years, he ought to want to do for you as much as you do for him.

    Good luck and have fun!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 16, 2014 4:33 AM GMT
    Try easing up on the masturbation. It sounds like you've gotten yourself used to a lot of really intense stimulation, tight grip, etc. Try to give your manhood a bit of a break, use lube while masturbating, and use a softer touch. During intercourse there usually isn't a tight grip along the entire shaft, just where you're entering. You've desensitized and so you're probably missing out on all the subtle things that are happening.

    One way to help you ease up might be buying a masturbation sleeve and use that for a while. It's easier because you can maneuver it the way you need it, and it will simulate an ass a lot better than your hand can. Learn to love the unique sensations it provides.

    Then in the bedroom, try different positions to alter the stimulation and see which one makes it easier. You might have to start face to face and flip to doggy when you're ready to finish yourself off. Even with safe sex its entirely possible for him to feel you ejaculate while inside him.

    Remember at the end of the day that what you're doing is satisfying each others physicals needs and creating intimacy. If that means you have to introduce a toy to the bedroom to help you fully enjoy the experience of satisfying him, you might also consider that an option.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 16, 2014 11:22 AM GMT
    What about bringing in a 3rd guy? To keep emotions from getting involved go to a new city to find one and you'll never see him again. But if you were getting fucked while fucking your boyfriend your problem would be solved!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 16, 2014 1:00 PM GMT
    What about flip-flop? Both top, both bottom. Like the way any versatile guys do it