Love Over Lust

  • loveoverlust

    Posts: 8

    Nov 15, 2014 1:51 AM GMT
    Why is so hard for someone to find that person?

    That special one to call your own,to share laughters and sadness with.
    Why can't love give us a change,rather than letting the heart breaks,the lies,and the misunderstanding torture own souls.
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    Nov 15, 2014 1:55 AM GMT
    I always wanted to have a brown thin belly of my own
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    Nov 15, 2014 2:20 AM GMT
    Does it count if I love lust?
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    Nov 15, 2014 2:27 AM GMT
    tumblr_nf0u3a5C6n1t95h1uo1_400.gif
  • loveoverlust

    Posts: 8

    Nov 15, 2014 6:27 PM GMT
    @paulflexes
    If you love Lust one day you will see life is not all about Lust because it will not fulfill that empty space one day
  • loveoverlust

    Posts: 8

    Nov 15, 2014 6:28 PM GMT
    @David3K
    What do you mean?icon_biggrin.gif
  • loveoverlust

    Posts: 8

    Nov 15, 2014 6:28 PM GMT
    @dustin_K_tx
    That animation is funny
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    Nov 16, 2014 9:18 AM GMT
    Most people won't consider love without lusting first, which is sad but true of society since forever.
    Since the obligations for a gay relationship are different than a heterosexual relationship (i.e. natural progression of relationship into marriage, and then starting a family) I'd say for the most part it stops at lust for the average gay man.

    I feel that the basis for open relationships is because love is secondary to lust, thus why they still want to sleep with others without fully committing to one person.

    This is why I'm quite content doing neither lol.
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1116

    Nov 16, 2014 3:30 PM GMT
    Isn't it funny as people get older some dismiss Love and replace it with lust!? OP don't worry about how others feel about relationships and love, be lucky you are still in that beautiful stage of your life, where you are not jaded or bitter! and yes surprisingly there are still many of us, at any age, that still value love over lust! but you know what? wait til you really fall in love some day, and realize that you can also lust someone that you really really love!!

    Lust feels good when love lasts!
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Nov 16, 2014 5:23 PM GMT
    LEANDRO_NJ saidIsn't it funny as people get older some dismiss Love and replace it with lust!? OP don't worry about how others feel about relationships and love, be lucky you are still in that beautiful stage of your life, where you are not jaded or bitter! and yes surprisingly there are still many of us, at any age, that still value love over lust! but you know what? wait til you really fall in love some day, and realize that you can also lust someone that you really really love!!

    Lust feels good when love lasts!

    Not many dismiss love and replace it with lust. They probably never knew love to begin with. Why is is when people are younger, they devalue love and only look to satisfy their lust? Why the stupid agist comment?
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1116

    Nov 16, 2014 7:37 PM GMT
    Destinharbor said
    LEANDRO_NJ saidIsn't it funny as people get older some dismiss Love and replace it with lust!? OP don't worry about how others feel about relationships and love, be lucky you are still in that beautiful stage of your life, where you are not jaded or bitter! and yes surprisingly there are still many of us, at any age, that still value love over lust! but you know what? wait til you really fall in love some day, and realize that you can also lust someone that you really really love!!

    Lust feels good when love lasts!

    Not many dismiss love and replace it with lust. They probably never knew love to begin with. Why is is when people are younger, they devalue love and only look to satisfy their lust? Why the stupid agist comment?


    Well aren't we nice!? the reason why younger people, as you put it "devalue love and only look to satisfy their lust" is because the older generation (who they look up to for guidance) for centuries have perceived them as their sex toy/ego booster; as such they have made a huge business out of young gay men's basic instincts, as is seeing in the media and places on the internet such as on this website.

    If only the older gay generations start by giving young gay men a sense of self worth, and treat them as people equally capable of being matured, and just as intuned with the feelings of love ( not as sexual toys/ego booster)as the media portrays them, and even those of us who supposedly had matured as we get older? Lust is not exclusive to young people by the way! I know plenty of older gay men who have not out grown it! is there something wrong with lust? absolutely not! am I contradicting myself? I am talking about the kind of lust that by definition is simply having strong sexual desires towards someone, of which there is absolutely nothing wrong with that! although is worth mentioning that there is a huge difference between animalistic lust and human lust. Yeah yeah yeah, I know many would say we too are animals? perhaps, but we are rational, highly intelligent, emotional animals that knows the difference between good and bad decisions/actions, and not driven by instinct alone, but by a more complex set of emotions.

    Having said all that, lust defined and driven by aesthetics alone is not what I am talking about here, nor in my humble opinion, a very healthy way for humans to use as a way to be sexually attracted or being sexually desired with one another!

    In my case lust kicks in when I totally embrace and accept my sexual partner for who he is as WHOLE person, and not for what I feel he should be! but that takes time and lots and lots of compassion from both ends, then compassion turns into devotion, devotion turns into the enjoyment of physically enjoying being in the company of that person you ultimately learn and accept to love. My idea of lust goes beyond the physical beauty or age of my partner. I prefer lust to be triggered by the presence of some inner compassion for one another, and not as a match or the feeling of being an object and then be thrown into the fire.
  • loveoverlust

    Posts: 8

    Nov 17, 2014 11:02 PM GMT
    Very True guys
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Nov 17, 2014 11:33 PM GMT
    You deserve both!... Preferably from the same guy.icon_wink.gif
  • loveoverlust

    Posts: 8

    Nov 18, 2014 7:02 PM GMT
    Ok cool i hope i he doesn't put love over lust 1st
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    Nov 19, 2014 4:14 PM GMT
    Destinharbor said
    LEANDRO_NJ saidIsn't it funny as people get older some dismiss Love and replace it with lust!? OP don't worry about how others feel about relationships and love, be lucky you are still in that beautiful stage of your life, where you are not jaded or bitter! and yes surprisingly there are still many of us, at any age, that still value love over lust! but you know what? wait til you really fall in love some day, and realize that you can also lust someone that you really really love!!

    Lust feels good when love lasts!

    Not many dismiss love and replace it with lust. They probably never knew love to begin with. Why is is when people are younger, they devalue love and only look to satisfy their lust? Why the stupid agist comment?


    1st it was Slut shaming and now ageism. Gen X gay men are fast becoming the victim generation and having already hit the big 40 myself I am in the demographic of "the older gay man" and I can tell you for a fact that its my fellow older Gen X gay men who are leading the open relationship trend and moralising to the younger men who dare to dream of a new parigdime with less sexual conquests focus and more about strong healthy relationships.

    If you are an older gay man like myself who no longer believes monogamous relationships with one person or in a polyamorous arrangement is possible, thats your prerogative. When you then start our disrespecting men who do not have all of the scars of your relationship failures. I am not even saying monogamy should be for everyone as its not, but this movement to paint any man seeking a fuller and deeper connection is a sad reflection on the people who keep perpetrating the open relationship free love lifestyle as the only way to be a gay man
  • muscleboundfe...

    Posts: 392

    Nov 19, 2014 5:15 PM GMT
    loveoverlust said@paulflexes
    If you love Lust one day you will see life is not all about Lust because it will not fulfill that empty space one day


    You haven't met many older gay men. Many gay men go to their graves loving lust.
  • muscleboundfe...

    Posts: 392

    Nov 19, 2014 5:19 PM GMT
    LEANDRO_NJ saidIsn't it funny as people get older some dismiss Love and replace it with lust!? OP don't worry about how others feel about relationships and love, be lucky you are still in that beautiful stage of your life, where you are not jaded or bitter! and yes surprisingly there are still many of us, at any age, that still value love over lust! but you know what? wait til you really fall in love some day, and realize that you can also lust someone that you really really love!!

    Lust feels good when love lasts!


    I had that once and I'll have it again
  • muscleboundfe...

    Posts: 392

    Nov 19, 2014 5:21 PM GMT
    Sydneyrugbyjock73 said
    Destinharbor said
    LEANDRO_NJ saidIsn't it funny as people get older some dismiss Love and replace it with lust!? OP don't worry about how others feel about relationships and love, be lucky you are still in that beautiful stage of your life, where you are not jaded or bitter! and yes surprisingly there are still many of us, at any age, that still value love over lust! but you know what? wait til you really fall in love some day, and realize that you can also lust someone that you really really love!!

    Lust feels good when love lasts!

    Not many dismiss love and replace it with lust. They probably never knew love to begin with. Why is is when people are younger, they devalue love and only look to satisfy their lust? Why the stupid agist comment?


    1st it was Slut shaming and now ageism. Gen X gay men are fast becoming the victim generation and having already hit the big 40 myself I am in the demographic of "the older gay man" and I can tell you for a fact that its my fellow older Gen X gay men who are leading the open relationship trend and moralising to the younger men who dare to dream of a new parigdime with less sexual conquests focus and more about strong healthy relationships.

    If you are an older gay man like myself who no longer believes monogamous relationships with one person or in a polyamorous arrangement is possible, thats your prerogative. When you then start our disrespecting men who do not have all of the scars of your relationship failures. I am not even saying monogamy should be for everyone as its not, but this movement to paint any man seeking a fuller and deeper connection is a sad reflection on the people who keep perpetrating the open relationship free love lifestyle as the only way to be a gay man


    Dan Savage must hate you
  • loveoverlust

    Posts: 8

    Nov 25, 2014 7:38 PM GMT
    show of hands who values love more than lusting over someone
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    Nov 25, 2014 9:09 PM GMT
    loveoverlust said@paulflexes
    If you love Lust one day you will see life is not all about Lust because it will not fulfill that empty space one day
    I already know life's not all about lust. It's about acting on the lust, too.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Nov 25, 2014 9:36 PM GMT
    LEANDRO_NJ said
    Destinharbor said
    LEANDRO_NJ saidIsn't it funny as people get older some dismiss Love and replace it with lust!? OP don't worry about how others feel about relationships and love, be lucky you are still in that beautiful stage of your life, where you are not jaded or bitter! and yes surprisingly there are still many of us, at any age, that still value love over lust! but you know what? wait til you really fall in love some day, and realize that you can also lust someone that you really really love!!

    Lust feels good when love lasts!

    Not many dismiss love and replace it with lust. They probably never knew love to begin with. Why is is when people are younger, they devalue love and only look to satisfy their lust? Why the stupid agist comment?


    Well aren't we nice!? the reason why younger people, as you put it "devalue love and only look to satisfy their lust" is because the older generation (who they look up to for guidance) for centuries have perceived them as their sex toy/ego booster; as such they have made a huge business out of young gay men's basic instincts, as is seeing in the media and places on the internet such as on this website.

    If only the older gay generations start by giving young gay men a sense of self worth, and treat them as people equally capable of being matured, and just as intuned with the feelings of love ( not as sexual toys/ego booster)as the media portrays them, and even those of us who supposedly had matured as we get older? Lust is not exclusive to young people by the way! I know plenty of older gay men who have not out grown it! is there something wrong with lust? absolutely not! am I contradicting myself? I am talking about the kind of lust that by definition is simply having strong sexual desires towards someone, of which there is absolutely nothing wrong with that! although is worth mentioning that there is a huge difference between animalistic lust and human lust. Yeah yeah yeah, I know many would say we too are animals? perhaps, but we are rational, highly intelligent, emotional animals that knows the difference between good and bad decisions/actions, and not driven by instinct alone, but by a more complex set of emotions.

    Having said all that, lust defined and driven by aesthetics alone is not what I am talking about here, nor in my humble opinion, a very healthy way for humans to use as a way to be sexually attracted or being sexually desired with one another!

    In my case lust kicks in when I totally embrace and accept my sexual partner for who he is as WHOLE person, and not for what I feel he should be! but that takes time and lots and lots of compassion from both ends, then compassion turns into devotion, devotion turns into the enjoyment of physically enjoying being in the company of that person you ultimately learn and accept to love. My idea of lust goes beyond the physical beauty or age of my partner. I prefer lust to be triggered by the presence of some inner compassion for one another, and not as a match or the feeling of being an object and then be thrown into the fire.

    You're rambling all over the place. And contradicting yourself repeatedly. Lust isn't reserved for only love. It is better with love but it can also be fun just on its own. Doesn't mean you have to act on it. I lust after guys in the gym daily. Or at the beach. Today in Williams-Sonoma. Yesterday in Home Depot. Get's my blood up! Makes me happy to be alive and healthy. And I still don't know why you blather these agist comments. We, the older, should do what for younger people? Try living closeted and in fear of being found out and then shunned or fired or worse as it was in my youth. The freedom you have to openly love we created, BOY. Stop whining. Someone older must have hurt you badly at some time. Your thinking is really off.
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    Nov 26, 2014 2:59 AM GMT
    loveoverlust saidshow of hands who values love more than lusting over someone


    Right here. btw, we're two older guys. 59 and 57

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    Nov 26, 2014 3:08 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidDoes it count if I love lust?


    ...and the OP lusts for love. *grins happily*
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    Nov 26, 2014 4:15 AM GMT
    loveoverlust saidshow of hands who values love more than lusting over someone


    Why is it an either/or proposition? I love my man and when I'm around during him want to rip his clothes off! Love makes sex better. And hot sex reinforces emotional relationships.
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1116

    Nov 26, 2014 11:02 PM GMT
    Is amazing how some people get more arrogant as they get older.