Is this guy using me?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 15, 2014 10:18 AM GMT
    So I've been dating this guy for several weeks.

    He's nice, but seems manipulative and sulky if he doesn't get his own way. What's really getting to me is the fact he's not paying for anything and is pretty tight.

    I've made about 3 trips to the next town over to see him. He's only come to see me once at a party, and that was when I actually paid for him to get a taxi. When I do visit him, he never pays for drinks. He even asked me to pay for a glass of beer last visit.

    He's upset because I've said I don't want to come tonight, as I can't afford the train journey. His response was he never pays anyway.

    Ditch this one?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 15, 2014 10:20 AM GMT
    Yes
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    Nov 15, 2014 10:21 AM GMT
    Erik101 saidYes
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    Nov 15, 2014 10:29 AM GMT
    Definetly babe, you don't deserve someone like him.
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    Nov 15, 2014 10:31 AM GMT
    I would ditch him if I were you. He seems inconsiderate to me.
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    Nov 15, 2014 10:44 AM GMT
    I vote "ditch".
  • spitfire

    Posts: 34

    Nov 15, 2014 10:47 AM GMT
    Life's hard enough as is, you don't need another thing weighing you down. Ditch immediately.
  • buddycat

    Posts: 1874

    Nov 15, 2014 11:01 AM GMT
    It sounds to me that you already know the answer since you don't like the fact you get stuck paying for everything. Maybe you prefer someone who likes to go dutch. Sounds like this guy likes to feel kept.
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    Nov 15, 2014 12:20 PM GMT
    They're always too good to be true...
  • mladri

    Posts: 264

    Nov 15, 2014 12:29 PM GMT
    Ditch him!
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    Nov 15, 2014 12:38 PM GMT
    You could try to approach him about this and see why he isn't paying for anything. There maybe an underlying cause such as bill, debt or etc. I would try to understand if you were interested in continuing a relationship.

    If he offers no reasons why he isn't paying and refuses to continue to pay then I would say it is time part ways and wish him well.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 15, 2014 12:43 PM GMT
    Lol He's (maybe) looking for a sugga daddy. Lol, why are you going through all this financial matter over this guy? It sounds like you like him more than he likes you. Have a talk first before cutting ties. But I think you already decided. icon_cool.gif
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Nov 15, 2014 12:48 PM GMT
    I'm with you, I wouldn't be happy, I tend to view dating and relationships as a "give and take" and in equal doses.

    Exceptions: Is he in school or in a situation where he can't work or his work capabilities are somewhat limited? You know the answer, if the answer is no, I'd have a serious conversation with him about expectations. You aren't satisfied and I can understand why... take correction action and if he doesn't want to participate. Move on.
  • chadwick1985

    Posts: 391

    Nov 15, 2014 1:48 PM GMT
    Could it be maybe he is just poor? Have you talked to him about it? If it is something other than being poor ditch him. If he is poor talking may solve some issues.
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    Nov 15, 2014 1:48 PM GMT
    He's currently between jobs. He seems to have money to do other things as well.

    It just feels a bit one-sided here, and yet he's quick to say I don't realise how much he likes me. Just tried to message him on WhatsApp and he's blanked me. Ugh...
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    Nov 15, 2014 1:51 PM GMT
    Tell him to start paying more or you're ditching him. Sorry if you really like him, but it's either that or you settle as the 'money-bags' of the relationship.
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    Nov 15, 2014 1:55 PM GMT
    You're well over 30 now. Some guys will automatically label you as "Daddy" and assume you'll be paying for everything. The minute a guy doesn't reciprocate and pay his share, I drop him like a hot potato.
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    Nov 15, 2014 1:59 PM GMT
    Depends how much you like him and how much his apparent parsimony troubles you, but I think you know the answer.
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    Nov 15, 2014 2:10 PM GMT
    Scruffypup saidYou're well over 30 now. Some guys will automatically label you as "Daddy" and assume you'll be paying for everything. The minute a guy doesn't reciprocate and pay his share, I drop him like a hot potato.


    God, that's depressing! This guy is nearer to 40, though.
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    Nov 15, 2014 2:17 PM GMT
    Jms31 said
    Scruffypup saidYou're well over 30 now. Some guys will automatically label you as "Daddy" and assume you'll be paying for everything. The minute a guy doesn't reciprocate and pay his share, I drop him like a hot potato.


    God, that's depressing! This guy is nearer to 40, though.



    The Daddy Complex knows no age restrictions.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 15, 2014 2:25 PM GMT
    As Dan Savage would say: Dump the motha fucker already.
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    Nov 15, 2014 3:11 PM GMT
    With the evidence you have given, I would say ditch him.
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    Nov 15, 2014 3:13 PM GMT
    Although relationships aren't about keeping score, if it bothers you that he doesn't pay then honor that feeling.

    If he thinks he can be in a relationship and never pay, maybe he is still of that evil mindset if "Pretty doesn't buy drinks
  • conservativej...

    Posts: 2465

    Nov 15, 2014 4:00 PM GMT
    Sounds to me like he's treating you like the "party bitch" who provides for his good time. He likely is unemployed and carries a pretty hefty drug bill -- and I'm not talking about prescription drugs either -- along with him.

    Typical meth head in fact.
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    Nov 15, 2014 4:07 PM GMT
    conservativejock saidSounds to me like he's treating you like the "party bitch" who provides for his good time. He likely is unemployed and carries a pretty hefty drug bill -- and I'm not talking about prescription drugs either -- along with him.

    Typical meth head in fact.



    LOL. How do you go from a guy who doesn't pay his fair share to "meth head?"