"stay confident, but be more sensual."
I'll take that to mean be aggressive, yet giving.
First of all you can't underestimate "the connection" if it isn't there, it will never be hot. Being 23 I don't think you have a lot of experience, but it is only 2 people's report card LOL. I've had some pretty glowing "reviews" over the years. But hey, you can't click with everyone.
For me if they can't kiss it won't happen. At 59 I have 40 years of Gay sex under the belt, so to speak. Sex is better than ever. I did bottom some in my early 20s, but haven't in nearly 20 years. There is some truth in bottoming to becoming a really good TOP. But I was never a good bottom! A good bottom is hard to find, appreciate the really good ones.
Even if they are into the sub/slave role, I always treat them with respect. I don't do humiliation. Just not my thing.
You can never kiss too much, lick too much, rim too much (OK, I know ONE guy who doesn't like to get rimmed!) , touch too much. Or have too much fun, and it should be fun above all else. Take your time, pace yourself. I have a "short routine" for a 20-30 min. lunch, and a "long routine" for 1-2 hour extended play.
And when you are fucking, make it comfortable for him. He should be relaxed from the rim job you already gave
Don't poke and stab. Let it flow. Nice and gentle, stopping along the way. You'll be feeling each other in the most sensual way ever. You can figure out how to progress from there. You may want to be a jack hammer, or a Mack Truck....but enjoy that moment for now.