EMBARASSING LOCKER ROOM MOMENT: Do you keep your mouth shut or answer in kind?

  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Nov 16, 2014 2:39 PM GMT
    I chose to keep my mouth shut at that moment.

    It was Friday evening and I was changing, getting ready for an elliptical "meet up" upstairs. The locker room was moderately full. I was changing clothes and chatting with a straight friend about some YMCA activities and I did notice another gay acquaintance, waved at him and went on about my business.

    Then another gay acquaintance stepped out of the shower, he's older, probably in his 50's somewhere and, being nice, I'll say at least 75 pounds overweight. He saw us and makes a comment to a friend of his on the other side of the locker room:

    "I'd watch out, you never know what gay guys might be checking you out in here"...

    Everybody heard the comment he said. Nice.

    I wanted to vomit, I go out of my way to mind my own business in the locker room. I'm not sure the point of the comment, but I thought it was inappropriate on a whole host of levels... and the last person I'd ever "notice" would be him.

    Is he just dumb or was there a purpose?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 16, 2014 2:44 PM GMT
    I think he's just trying so hard to appear straight in front of his friend by using homophobia. It's truly pathetic when he himself is gay. He's not fooling anyone but himself.
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    Nov 16, 2014 3:06 PM GMT
    The only reply I'd probably could come up with is an eloquent rolling of my eyes. icon_rolleyes.gif

    It's best to ignore these idiotic remarks, over validating them by getting bent out of shape to come up with a
    sarcastic
    withering
    intelligent
    coherent
    reply
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 16, 2014 3:16 PM GMT
    Sounded like he might have been bitter with jealousy.
    That or he's actually homophobic, either of which would show he's not that bright.
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    Nov 16, 2014 3:20 PM GMT
    Jealous and/or insecure enough to attention-whore.

    I think the guy embarrassed himself by stating the obvious because most straight guys probably assume gay guys are checking them out - why else the towel dance? Even the most homophobic of gym members were probably giving HIM shade for even bringing it up.
  • interesting

    Posts: 573

    Nov 16, 2014 3:43 PM GMT
    I think that was the right response, there's no need to entertain that kind of foolishness and obvious insecurity. Though, there is an urge to put him into his place.

    I do wonder what all the other guys think though, huffing and puffing to show your masculinity.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Nov 16, 2014 4:23 PM GMT
    You handled it appropriately in the locker room, though I, like you, would have been seething. The next time you see him, if you can privately, I'd have a few words along the line of "Listen, you fat fuck, if you ever again pull a stunt like your locker room comment, I will find you and beat your ugly face senseless. You hear me?" And walk away.
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    Nov 16, 2014 4:42 PM GMT
    Even though there are plenty of lurkers in the lockerroom(let's be real here) that was pretty damn insulting lol.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 16, 2014 4:43 PM GMT
    Destinharbor saidYou handled it appropriately in the locker room, though I, like you, would have been seething. The next time you see him, if you can privately, I'd have a few words along the line of "Listen, you fat fuck, if you ever again pull a stunt like your locker room comment, I will find you and beat your ugly face senseless. You hear me?" And walk away.

    I'll buy that. The guy was totally out of line.
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    Nov 16, 2014 5:12 PM GMT
    I was getting out of one of the gym shower stalls once, drying off and this very fit older queen looking for a shower stall says, "did you see the cock on that guy", awkward.....what was I supposed to say, um no, sorry I missed it..icon_lol.gif
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    Nov 16, 2014 5:47 PM GMT
    Well don't drop a dumbbell on his foot by mistake the next time you see him in the weights room. That would be a really bad thing to do.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Nov 16, 2014 6:06 PM GMT
    You should have turned it back on him:
    "Yes, we hardly notice you staring any more, but if you start touching, we might have to tie you up and shove you inside a locker"
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    Nov 16, 2014 6:08 PM GMT
    I am constantly disturbed by the apparent lack of courtesy, tact, manners, civility and class, by so many in a public situation.....The fool deserved no response and I think he was very inappropriately over-compensating for his own insecurities by changing the topic of the unspoken group thoughts from "wow!....he's really fat....to OMG! What if some fag is checking me out!"...so he could make a quiet exit without being on their radar.....so he thought.....The problem is HIS, not yours....you did the right thing with silence.
    Also.....older folks or those on some meds...just don't have the same control on their filter...and may not realize it...Not an excuse, simply a fact.icon_eek.gif
    I'd be thrilled to be in the locker room changing and going for some elliptical meet up time with you! LOL!icon_biggrin.gif
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    Nov 16, 2014 6:26 PM GMT
    who cares. Say hi to the guy next time you see him, re affirm your not upset with him. He is in the age range that he could be in a whole world by himself or at least not in your mind set.

    there is a down side to you not being out there as a fabulous gay man that you are. Anything less and you have to expect this confusion. offer some hints your gay if the confusion bothers you.

    wear a pearl necklace
    pink latex gloves while working on a car
    designer underwear for plumbing
    Burberry scarf at home depot
    house paint the 2nd story with no shirt


  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Nov 16, 2014 6:55 PM GMT
    Well thanks for the input, I assumed it was an attempt to get attention. Nobody paid much attention to the comment, he isn't someone I'm typically friendly with, but rarely see him.

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    Nov 16, 2014 7:25 PM GMT
    I guess I'm the only one who thinks "Shut the fuck up you fat old queen" would have been appropriate.
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    Nov 16, 2014 8:32 PM GMT
    i bet even most of the straight people in there thought he was a douche.

    i might have said something. i'm pretty sure half+ of my gym is gay so i would have had backup if he got further uppity icon_twisted.gif

    or i might have just rolled my eyes..

    that reminds me, i have to put something in "Today, at the gym." it involves jock straps but you don't have to look. icon_biggrin.gif
  • mybud

    Posts: 11829

    Nov 16, 2014 8:55 PM GMT
    He wanted to announce he was gay to see if there's any takers...Avoid him like hemorrhoids.