Single guys, do you feel more single and lonely during the holidays?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 17, 2014 8:51 AM GMT
    Someone asked me this question recently and well, I tried to brush it off saying that **I'm fine!! But I do hate seeing couples holding hands during the holidays. Ok, Ok, Ok, this is my first official single rant thread. A single gay friend in Hollywood LA asked me to come up and hang out with him during the holidays since he's homesick or whatever. God, getting a great bf/guy is so damn hard !! icon_lol.gificon_cool.gif Anyone relate?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 17, 2014 4:43 PM GMT
    I'm not single but my BF will be going home to Mexico for the holidays. I think this will be the saddest holiday season of my life.
  • brickboy1966

    Posts: 359

    Nov 17, 2014 4:54 PM GMT
    Yes. But I need to get a job first.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Nov 17, 2014 7:04 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidI'm not single but my BF will be going home to Mexico for the holidays. I think this will be the saddest holiday season of my life.


    I really don't mind. I just cook up a major feast including wine and watch ball games. Actually makes for a nice day. When my partner and I were first together, he went home to his family every Christmas and we'd have some very long video chats while he was in the room with everyone. I could hear what was being said and it was kind of fun to be spying a bit. I still encourage him to go home to see his extended family at Christmas. I've got him the rest of the year. (Btw, he's out to his immediate family and I've met them and spent time with them but it's a large Chinese group with a very old matriarch and rival branches. He just doesn't want to rock the boat with her and I agree.)
  • bro4bro

    Posts: 1035

    Nov 17, 2014 8:35 PM GMT
    This will be the third holiday season since my mom passed away. For 30+ years I went back to Ohio for Christmas; the last two years I spent it by myself.

    The first year was fine. I was actually relieved to not have to deal with crowded airports during the holidays. I planned the day out and had a blast by myself.

    Last year I did the same and enjoyed myself again but it wasn't quite as nice. I'd done the alone thing once. I don't want to do it the rest of my life.

    This year might be rough. I promised myself at the beginning of the year I'd find someone to spend the holidays with, and I put a lot of effort into getting out and meeting people, but still came up dry. Not looking forward to spending Christmas alone again.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 17, 2014 8:49 PM GMT
    Nothing reminds me of my loneliness like the holidays! -___-
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    Nov 17, 2014 9:09 PM GMT
    Valentine's Day sucks but other than that I'm good. It's actually just the run of the mill Saturday nights that are hardest. (This weekend has been an exception because I'm in Chicago where I've been having a great time with a guy from Vermont whom I met on Okcupid. Not sure what if anything further will come of this but it has been a nice getaway.)

    As for big holidays (other than V-Day), those are times to be with family or friends -- no pressure to bring along a boyfriend so nothing to be overly sad or lonely about.).

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    Nov 17, 2014 9:15 PM GMT
    In the US Army we Officers were encouraged to invite young single junior enlisted soldiers into our homes at holidays, especially Thanksgiving. So that they didn't have to eat a mess hall Thanksgiving meal. And I did that a number of times.

    I still remember that custom, but now applied to gays. We'll be doing that for Christmas dinner this year. He's got a partner, but who'll be away. So he'll have Christmas Day dinner with us, so he won't be alone.

    Another time in Minneapolis I co-hosted an "orphans" formal Thanksgiving dinner for 10 other gay guys, who otherwise would not have had anywhere else to go. Only thing was, we were all gay naturists (nudists). We had this elaborate and beautiful table, at which we all sat stark naked. Well, I did wear a black bow tie. icon_eek.gif

    Point is, take in gay guys for these holiday meals if you can. We always do. This is what community is about. icon_biggrin.gif
  • hottt1980

    Posts: 50

    Nov 17, 2014 9:44 PM GMT
    Yes, without a doubt. Having a birthday the same time does not make it any easier..........Hell where's the ice-cream...lol
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    Nov 17, 2014 10:48 PM GMT
    bro4bro saidThis will be the third holiday season since my mom passed away. For 30+ years I went back to Ohio for Christmas; the last two years I spent it by myself.

    The first year was fine. I was actually relieved to not have to deal with crowded airports during the holidays. I planned the day out and had a blast by myself.

    Last year I did the same and enjoyed myself again but it wasn't quite as nice. I'd done the alone thing once. I don't want to do it the rest of my life.

    This year might be rough. I promised myself at the beginning of the year I'd find someone to spend the holidays with, and I put a lot of effort into getting out and meeting people, but still came up dry. Not looking forward to spending Christmas alone again.


    Sorry to hear about your mom bro, yeah life just doesn't work out according to plans sometimes. icon_neutral.gificon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 18, 2014 2:03 AM GMT
    The population of the earth is 6,000,000,000 and you feel lonely? Shows how powerful the mind is in creating delusion.
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 875

    Nov 18, 2014 3:30 AM GMT
    Nope. Not at all.

    Being single is like everything else. It has its upsides. And it has its downsides. So, you take it with the territory, shrug with your shoulders, and move on.

    I have always disliked the notions of prescribed joy and happiness. I celebrate when I have a good reason for it. Getting into the pre-ordained mood, and going into the monkey see - monkey do mode does not really do it for me.

    I am having a major project happening in 2015. I am actually very much looking forward to having a fortnight alone at home to dig into this, and hopefully, have an easier ride down the road... There will be plenty of time to pop those champagne bottles open once we see our goals accomplishedicon_lol.gif

    SC
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    Nov 18, 2014 3:53 AM GMT
    Major holidays have never really bothered me while I have been single, because that time and energy I usually direct towards spending it with friends and family. The only other holiday I do feel more single is Valentine's Day, just once do I wish I had a BF to celebrate that day and also my B-day with (since it is 2 weeks after that) =P

    tumblr_n04qawFoD31s36vkoo1_500.gif

    This year has been a bit different with my on and off BF (currently in off mode), as I was actually really looking forward to spending time with him for the holidays. He got me so excited when he asked me what my plans were for Thanksgiving last week, but he hasn't followed through since I replied that I wasn't formally invited to anything yet icon_rolleyes.gif.

    stages-of-being-the-only-single-friend.g
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 14385

    Nov 18, 2014 7:23 PM GMT

    I have gotten used to being alone on the holidays so it doesn't bother me that much anymore. Despite the fact that most of my immediate family lives in Western New York, I am not close to them and have little in common with them. After my parents passed away, I just began doing more things myself and pulling away from my siblings and other relatives.
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    Nov 18, 2014 8:27 PM GMT
    bro4bro saidThis will be the third holiday season since my mom passed away. For 30+ years I went back to Ohio for Christmas; the last two years I spent it by myself.

    The first year was fine. I was actually relieved to not have to deal with crowded airports during the holidays. I planned the day out and had a blast by myself.

    Last year I did the same and enjoyed myself again but it wasn't quite as nice. I'd done the alone thing once. I don't want to do it the rest of my life.

    This year might be rough. I promised myself at the beginning of the year I'd find someone to spend the holidays with, and I put a lot of effort into getting out and meeting people, but still came up dry. Not looking forward to spending Christmas alone again.

    Similar situation. Sorry about your Mom. I used to travel east for the week-end. Good to see family but the crowded airports was a hassle. Parents now gone and family spread out so I stay in so calif, sometimes with friends, sometimes home with pets. When you go out and see everyone in groups you think you're the only one alone. But you've got lots of company.
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    Nov 18, 2014 8:31 PM GMT
    TomSOCAL saidYeah, when you just moved from elsewhere and can't identify with the personalities of southern Californians.

    Wish I lived in Utah or Coloradoicon_biggrin.gif

    There must be some exceptions, I mean, there are 15 million people in all of metro L.A.

    I've spent time in many parts of the country and imo people are generally similar. It depends more on the kind of people you choose to hang with. Reminds me of the guy who hangs out at a bar and complains he doesn't like the kind of people he meets there.

    I've read your other messages where you make similar complaints about the area. To be constructive not critical, I think your attitude may be your biggest barrier. Do different kinds of things, meet different kinds of people, change your attitude and you might find things dramatically different.
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    Nov 18, 2014 9:13 PM GMT
    Nope. I feel the same as I did the day before and after the holidays: Super.
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    Nov 19, 2014 5:27 AM GMT
    bro4bro saidThis will be the third holiday season since my mom passed away. For 30+ years I went back to Ohio for Christmas; the last two years I spent it by myself.

    The first year was fine. I was actually relieved to not have to deal with crowded airports during the holidays. I planned the day out and had a blast by myself.

    Last year I did the same and enjoyed myself again but it wasn't quite as nice. I'd done the alone thing once. I don't want to do it the rest of my life.

    This year might be rough. I promised myself at the beginning of the year I'd find someone to spend the holidays with, and I put a lot of effort into getting out and meeting people, but still came up dry. Not looking forward to spending Christmas alone again.

    No friends? I hope for you that's not the case.

    I've had a built in partner to share holidays with for years - but even before I did, and even now, I always got together with some friends at some time - had not spent Christmas with my mom for years, except for the phone call.