Shugo VS Ice Man

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 18, 2009 12:10 AM GMT
    Hey guys I'm working on my writing skills and I want everyone's opinion on this I just wrote. It's my made up character against Ice Man.


    About Shugo:

    Shugo's power is the control of water. However he cannot conger it. His control over water also gives him the control over ice (but nowhere near Ice Man's level). Also, he cannot create more ice then the water he has. The down fall to his abilities is his body temperature lowers for as long or how he uses he's power (ice usage lowers his temperature faster and the ice can damage him unlike ice man). As for non-mutant abilities, His father was a master of martial arts (haven't decide which one yet) so he's extremely good would it comes to close combat.


    What's going on:

    Shugo had arrived at the Institute only one week ago and Ice Man is his tutor for teaching him better control. This is one of there training sessions.


    Story:

    “So, are you ready for this?”

    Shugo readies himself in his fight stance as ice man, standing across from him, surrounds his body in a thin layer of ice. After a short fierce gaze in one another’s eyes, ice man shoots a tennis ball sized ball of ice towards Shugo. Easily dodging the shot and using this opening to close in on ice man, he throws punches at him, but Ice Man anticipated the advance, knowing that close range is Shugo’s strong point, and quickly made and small shield to block the punches.

    Shugo Stands back and readies one of his most powerful punches, “OH YEAH!” he exclaims, breaking through Ice Man’s shield. Ice Man notices the Shugo’s breath is now visible and the air around them has gained a sudden chill; he jumped out of the way, knowing that Shguo was about to use his power. Shugo quickly uses the ice of the broken shield to cover his knuckles, creating jagged spikes.

    With his strength and that ice, I’m sure he could tear though this ice a bit easier, Ice Man thought to himself, looking at the ice covering his hands. “I have to take this a bit more seriously then.” Holding out one of his hands, he looks Shugo in the eyes with a grin, “You need to chill out!” He shouts. As a thick beam shoots from his hand. Shugo got down to the floor to dodge the on coming attack and noticed that when it hit the ground behind him, it froze the floor over creating a thick pile of ice.

    “WHAAA!” Shugo yells in shock. Looking back at Ice Man with the look of shock still on his face, He slowly stands to his feet, thinking of how to counter his projectile attack; and before he knew it he’d started to fire more. Shugo quickly began to run throughout the Danger Room in hopes to get away from Ice Man’s relentless attacks. However Ice Man was leading him into a trap.

    “Don’t forget kid! I’ve got two arms!” Ice Man yells, simultaneously shooting a beam from each hand. One beam chased closely behind Shugo and the other moved toward him from the front.

    Shugo gasped as he knew that the beams where going to collide with him in between. He ran closer to the wall. As he jumped, he kicked off the wall to dodge the beams as they collided. However, Shugo wasn’t aware that the beams would fuse together to make an even bigger beam, and as a result, his left arm and leg got hit by the blast. The shear weight of ice covering his leg caught him off guard and sent him into an uncontrollable spin and crashed into the ground.

    Struggling to stand to his feet, Shugo looks around the Danger Room.

    “So,” Ice Man began to speak, “Thanks to you running all over the place, the floor is just about completely covered in ice. You can no longer use your fighting skills and I’m sure that running is going to be harder now too.”

    “I’m not going to run..” Shugo said quietly, with his free foot against the wall and holding his iced arm in front of him like a lance and made a long sharp point on its end to completely the lance shape--a formation he got into while Ice Man was talking. “H-Hey you, t-t-t-take this on-n.” he said just before he pushed himself off the wall, thrusting with all his might.

    As Shugo quickly slid across the room, Ice Man saw that he turned the ice just below him into a thin layer of water. Making a another shield, this one larger and thicker, he took Shugo’s barbaric attack head on. The attack only managed to slightly pierce the Shield.

    Ice Man looked closely at Shugo‘s body and realized that he was badly shivering, “Stop! that’s enough. This training exercise is over.”
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 18, 2009 4:15 AM GMT
    not sure if this will help you or not but there is a sit called gaiaonline, its a great place were people post storys like this and others will comment and help give advise. Check it out, though it might not be for everyone
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 18, 2009 4:39 AM GMT
    thanks for the feed back. And I'll be sure to check that site out. And as far as the "500 word essay" goes. I actually write that way, I'm not trying to do anything. Also, the other "words" were used to explain and he's not an expert with his power. But you are right about the spelling though. I've grown up with HORRIBLE spelling lol. I guess I'll try for an audience that would care about this kind of thing (i kinda just felt like sharing)... but really thanks anyway icon_confused.gif