Is 'casual' sex from internet a myth?

  • offshore

    Posts: 1294

    Jan 18, 2009 4:15 AM GMT
    I mean I have never, ever had a real encounter with nice outcomes.

    It's almost funny how you can categorize posts on 'hook-up' sites:
    - Posts with some generic picture depicting a sex act - err, I know where to put it so to speak I don't need a sample graphic to show me.

    - Posts with fake pictures - I got eyes and when/if we finally meet it's going to look really bad on you.

    - Posts with arse and cock only - unless you got a 12incher (even then it's more shock than appreciation), I don't really wanna look at some nads, I got a set of my own and knows how they look.

    - People that reply to absolutely everything, it's almost a reverse spam.

    - People that posts way too much, with the same post every 15 minutes.

    - Time wasters that just want to j/o or mentally pleasuring themselves by looking at your pics or trick you from giving them some more pics.

    - Other time wasters think they want to have a hook up but is chickened out when it gets remotely serious or for real - why even bother?

    So I gotta ask - did it ever worked for anyone?
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    Jan 18, 2009 11:22 AM GMT
    hell yeah.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jan 18, 2009 11:50 AM GMT
    Yep icon_cool.gif
  • Koaa2

    Posts: 1556

    Jan 18, 2009 1:38 PM GMT
    Yes, have had some good encounters, with nice guys.
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    Jan 18, 2009 1:55 PM GMT
    yep
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    Jan 18, 2009 2:36 PM GMT
    Yes it worked, but not on the best-known "hook-up" sites, where I ran into more of what you describe. I actually did well on AOL, and best on one of the old local BBS operations we had in Seattle.

    It even used to hold monthly "GTs" (get togethers) for its several thousand BBS members, where you got to meet a number of the other guys at some gay club or other, all wearing name tags with their online SNs. It seems so innocent now... LOL! Yet hooking up was so easy, like plucking apples from a tree, with very few rotten ones.
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    Jan 18, 2009 3:33 PM GMT
    Most of what's posted online is sad and ridiculous. But every now and then I come across one that's an exception and I've met two decent guys that way. One is someone I consider a good friend today.

    That said, everything you wrote in the OP is dead on.
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    Jan 18, 2009 4:18 PM GMT
    Yes. Everything you wrote in the OP is correct.

    But every now and then you hit one just right...and it's HOT!
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    Jan 18, 2009 4:25 PM GMT
    Fuck buddies is the way to go. Why would you want a one night stand?
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    Jan 18, 2009 4:27 PM GMT
    obviously OP is right.. 90% or more of the stuff is not worth a second look, at least half of the remaining stuff is also binned within a few minutes. Depends how patient/desperate/randy/lucky you are

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    Jan 18, 2009 5:28 PM GMT
    offshore said

    So I gotta ask - did it ever worked for anyone?


    Absolutely. Yes!! You am talking about hookup sites like Craigslist, right? It's pretty easy to spot a fake during the "negotiation" phase before meeting.
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    Jan 18, 2009 5:34 PM GMT
    There are some pretty rules that can help you avoid a bad internet hook-up:

    1. Does their profile have at least five pictures that do NOT appear to have been taken at the same time, in the same studio? Look for a vareity of pictures that would tough to be all taken and scanned from the same source.

    2. Is their profile filled-out, or do you just see a bunch of blanks?

    3. If they have a webcam, are they willing to show themselves on camera?

    4. Do they offer to send you pics, before asking YOU to send some to them?

    5. Ask for references. Is there anyone on the site they've played with? Ask them how it was...

    6. Ask to speak with them on the phone BEFORE inviting them over.

    7. Finally, if they show up at the door and still are not the person they said they were, say "no."

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    Jan 18, 2009 6:07 PM GMT
    ..."Ask for references..." LMAO.

    I can hear it now...
    "Why, that two-timing SOB! He said he'd call!"
    "Uh, yeah... there was this one guy. Didn't really catch his name..."
    "Oh forget about THAT dude, I'M looking tonight."

    I read somewhere that we're all only separated by about six degrees of penetration. (Fewer, in small towns.)
    Sometimes, I'd like to buy a couple more degrees.

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    Jan 18, 2009 6:19 PM GMT
    BigSETXjock said

    7. Finally, if they show up at the door and still are not the person they said they were, say "no."



    Exactly. For me it's easy....it's not possible for me to have sex with someone if I don't want to have sex with them. If the guy who shows up at the door is NOT the guy whose ad I answered or who answered my ad (I mean their pictures are someone else's or doctored), then just say "thanks but no thanks."

    Meeting at a public place nearby his or your house is the way to get around uncomfortable situations.
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    Jan 18, 2009 6:21 PM GMT
    I've had several hot encounters.icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jan 18, 2009 6:45 PM GMT
    Now that this thread's getting into the mechanics of online hookups, I'd agree with most of the "steps" mentioned above. They worked very well for me, the 2 most important in my case being exchanging pics that I've learned to evaluate for fakery, using some of the other rules above, and speaking on the telephone.

    Rightly or wrongly, I think the voice tells me a lot about a person. And I've honestly encountered guys who were obviously drunk and/or drugged, sometimes later confirmed by others who did know them in person.

    To which I'd add 2 more steps: one is taking your time. Rushing off to meet a guy after just a couple of online chats is asking for disappointment, if not trouble. Fakes in my experience can't maintain their charade indefinitely, and the longer we chat, the more mistakes they make that unmask them. But likewise, the good guy will only get better with time.

    Related to online patience is the other step, evaluate his writing style. I know that's not important to some, but it is to me. A guy who can't spell or use correct grammar, and express himself coherently in writing, is probably not a guy with whom I'll also be able to have a meaningful conversation when we meet in person.

    And the more he writes, the more I think I really know him, inside & out, before we ever meet in person. The proof of all of this is that I'm very rarely surprised or disappointed by the real man in the flesh.
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    Jan 18, 2009 8:09 PM GMT
    While there's lots of sick folks on The Internet, there are also a few more sincere ones, that are actually decent folks.

    I having a screening process, of a phone call, a live cam, and so on, before I will even have a soft drink with someone. You can get most fakes / deceitful folks in a good screening process.

    You have to ask yourself the question, however, of whether, or not, "hooking up" with a complete stranger is a good practice. It seems a bit devoid of sound judgment.

    I like to be more substantial in my relations with folks and get to know people before I head off to the bedroom with them. I find nothing more of a physical and mental turn off that dishonest folks.

    While I'm not into folks that, say, are fat, smoke, or don't have some common interests, I don't require perfection, and I'm capable having friendships, at a bunch of levels. I'm happy to say that I've only had three sexual partners in as many years, and I knew them all well before jumping into the sack with them. I'm just not a bathhouse kind of guy, but, I don't equate sex to love, nor to false belief systems, but, rather, it's just sex, but, I like to have a basis of a relationship where I have comfort with someone before getting naked with them. I.e. sex isn't a recreational sport to me unless you know me well.

    I think you have to decide what your priorities are. E.g., Craigslist is a pretty pathetic group as a whole, and in general.
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    Jan 18, 2009 8:20 PM GMT
    Chuckystud, really? You've never been to Club Dallas? Not even once?

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    Jan 18, 2009 8:27 PM GMT
    Jim, I went one night, as a cultural discovery thing. What I found, I found appalling. There was a line in the steam room for blow jobs. There was a line in the sauna for hand jobs. The hot tub was a cesspool of bodily fluids. In the "changing rooms" there was the heavy odor of nitrates, asses in the air, lube laid out, a safe place for a bunch of very stoned folks, and various blow job lines, etc.

    I actually worked out, with my regular gym clothes, and a pudgey Mexican guy in little black underwear was following me around in adoration.

    I set by the pool and talked to a couple of guys my age, but, did not participate in the fuck fest.

    Just as I was to leave, a major bodybuilder stud and I crossed paths in the locker room. I did a double-take, but, then came back to Lewisville.

    I suppose the advantage is that it's a safe place for the boys to do their drugs. I only found just a couple of the men attractive. The rest were below average. I've never returned.

    What struck me about the place was a total disregard of sexual safety. It was literally a disease factory.

    What also struck me about the place was how disconnected most of the folks seemed in a drugged-out search for sex at any cost.

    I told flex89 about the experience, and told him I'd take him down there, and he said he wanted nothing to do with it. Logan's remark could have been easily construed in the wrong way.

    Now, Jim, as you and I both know, Dallas County leads Texas in HIV infection rates, for a long lists for reasons. Seeing the behavior at the bathhouse, and on craigslist, it's obvious why.

    There are those, of course, who walk right to the edge...those of us more willing to take risks.

    E.g. my brother knows one way to ride the dirt bike: wide open. I, personally, exercise a degree of caution. I'm not the sort that engages in the risk-taking. I don't crave that the way some folks do (the whole adrenaline receptors thing).
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    Jan 18, 2009 8:34 PM GMT
    GOD, whoever decided a "bath house" was a good idea is clearly the reason everyone thinks gay people are weird.

    SLC's got two bath houses and they see double and sometimes triple business twice a year when all the Mormons flock down for General Conference. Go Figure.
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    Jan 18, 2009 8:41 PM GMT
    chuckystud said...You have to ask yourself the question, however, of whether, or not, "hooking up" with a complete stranger is a good practice. It seems a bit devoid of sound judgment.

    I like to be more substantial in my relations with folks and get to know people before I head off to the bedroom with them. I find nothing more of a physical and mental turn off that dishonest folks...

    I must admit my method described above was as much about screening for potential BF material as for casual sex. I assumed that if the sex was good we might proceed to more permanent things, and all the while we were learning more about each other. "Sex first, relationship afterwards" always worked best for me. (Past tense because now partnered, that very way)

    And if it turned out that the attraction began and ended with the sex, well, we still had the sex. ("We'll always have Paris" --- Casablanca)

    For really mindless sex, even beyond casual, I'd just go to a bathhouse, a 1-step solution that didn't involve online protocols. Still being safe, and moderately selective, but a bathhouse is a bathhouse.
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    Jan 18, 2009 8:57 PM GMT
    woooo

    Club Dallas report made me want to vomit.

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    Jan 18, 2009 10:38 PM GMT
    Bathhouses, and craigslist, are sure fire bets for sex with strangers. (Some folks are incapable of sex with guys in any other way.)

    At least at the bathhouse you get to inspect the meat first.

    One thing for sure, the bathhouse has been around a VERY LONG time.
  • Koaa2

    Posts: 1556

    Jan 19, 2009 4:54 PM GMT
    Lostboy saidwoooo

    Club Dallas report made me want to vomit.

    icon_confused.gif


    I think they are all different, and how each person experiences them are different. I for one, like to go once and a while. I don't get hung up about what other people are doing, only take care of myself. You can still have a lot of good sleazy sex and be safe. It is all about how creative you can be.
  • Tiller66

    Posts: 380

    Feb 02, 2009 7:01 AM GMT
    Well stngly enough I've had more luck with hook with guys on Interactive Male which is a phone line.Bit saying that the persage of good&bad has benn 60%/40% now as for hooking up on the internet stites has been a dismale 20% good/80% badI'm not sure that seeing the person before is really as important as one would thinkicon_lol.gif