How does one keep hope alive?

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    Nov 24, 2014 6:11 AM GMT
    It’s really dumb to be coming to this site to blog about this since it’s not the most welcoming place but here I go…..

    I think my favorite film of the year is Days of Future Past. I enjoyed that film a lot because it really spoke to me about hope and how you find it inside of you even when you think it’s gone. I understand its message but I just don’t know how I find that hope in me when so much hope I had in life is already gone. I know I’m only 20 and I have the whole world ahead of me but I don’t feel that I’m cut out for this life thing. I mean I do have great family and friends but when I’m alone it hits me how shitty I truly feel about myself. I don’t believe I will ever find love, I don’t feel that my aspirations in life will never come true, and I always feel that I should just give up. I feel that every time I put my heart in something it gets broken. If you’re someone who feels hopeful, how do you do it?

    Feel free to write whatever mean comments you want to write. There is nothing anyone can say or do that will make me feel worse at the moment. I’m not trying to be an attention whore. I’m trying to do something that I’m not known for doing, being honest about my feelings.
  • muscleboundfe...

    Posts: 392

    Nov 24, 2014 6:16 AM GMT
    Force saidIt’s really dumb to be coming to this site to blog about this since it’s not the most welcoming place but here I go…..

    I think my favorite film of the year is Days of Future Past. I enjoyed that film a lot because it really spoke to me about hope and how you find it inside of you even when you think it’s gone. I understand its message but I just don’t know how I find that hope in me when so much hope I had in life is already gone. I know I’m only 20 and I have the whole world ahead of me but I don’t feel that I’m cut out for this life thing. I mean I do have great family and friends but when I’m alone it hits me how shitty I truly feel about myself. I don’t believe I will ever find love, I don’t feel that my aspirations in life will come true, and I always feel that I should just give up. I feel that every time I put my heart in something it gets broken. If you’re someone who feels hopeful, how do you do it?

    Feel free to write whatever mean comments you want to write. There is nothing anyone can say or do that will make me feel worse at the moment. I’m not trying to be an attention whore. I’m trying to do something that I’m not known for doing, being honest about my feelings.


    I use to feel like you. I suffered from depression for a long time. As time has gone on I have learned to love adapting to life. Hope can be as much of a trap as it can be your salvation. If all you do is cling to what you want it can be hard to see what you have. It can be hard to see that most of things we want in life are not that important. Their are many ways to happiness. You have the right to redefine what success and fulfillment mean to you.
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    Nov 24, 2014 6:18 AM GMT


    " I mean I do have great family and friends but when I’m alone it hits me how shitty I truly feel about myself. I don’t believe I will ever find love, I don’t feel that my aspirations in life will never come true, and I always feel that I should just give up. I feel that every time I put my heart in something it gets broken."

    Hmmm...that sounds about right and normal. You know how I managed?
    Mom once told me , 'Tomorrow is a new page, write on it.' If we all stopped when we fail, then I would never have met Bill at age 34. icon_wink.gif




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    Nov 24, 2014 6:20 AM GMT
    muscleboundfem said
    Force saidIt’s really dumb to be coming to this site to blog about this since it’s not the most welcoming place but here I go…..

    I think my favorite film of the year is Days of Future Past. I enjoyed that film a lot because it really spoke to me about hope and how you find it inside of you even when you think it’s gone. I understand its message but I just don’t know how I find that hope in me when so much hope I had in life is already gone. I know I’m only 20 and I have the whole world ahead of me but I don’t feel that I’m cut out for this life thing. I mean I do have great family and friends but when I’m alone it hits me how shitty I truly feel about myself. I don’t believe I will ever find love, I don’t feel that my aspirations in life will come true, and I always feel that I should just give up. I feel that every time I put my heart in something it gets broken. If you’re someone who feels hopeful, how do you do it?

    Feel free to write whatever mean comments you want to write. There is nothing anyone can say or do that will make me feel worse at the moment. I’m not trying to be an attention whore. I’m trying to do something that I’m not known for doing, being honest about my feelings.


    I use to feel like you. I suffered from depression for a long time. As time has gone on I have learned to love adapting to life. Hope can be as much of a trap as it can be your salvation. If all you do is cling to what you want it can be hard to see what you have. It can be hard to see that most of things we want in life are not that important. Their are many ways to happiness. You have the right to redefine what success and fulfillment mean to you.


    I'll keep that in mind thanks
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    Nov 24, 2014 6:21 AM GMT
    meninlove said

    " I mean I do have great family and friends but when I’m alone it hits me how shitty I truly feel about myself. I don’t believe I will ever find love, I don’t feel that my aspirations in life will never come true, and I always feel that I should just give up. I feel that every time I put my heart in something it gets broken."

    Hmmm...that sounds about right and normal. You know how I managed?
    Mom once told me , 'Tomorrow is a new page, write on it.' If we all stopped when we fail, then I would never have met Bill at age 34. icon_wink.gif







    yea you're right!
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    Nov 24, 2014 6:27 AM GMT
    You look around you
    Things they astound you
    So breathe in deep
    You're not asleep
    Open your mind


    You're here today
    No future fears
    This day will last
    A thousand years
    If you want it to



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    Nov 24, 2014 6:28 AM GMT
    For me, one constant wellspring of hope is that I made it through feeling so consistently awful at your age. I felt completely alone, even though I was sure I shouldn't, and everything I thought I needed to achieve anything I thought I wanted kept slipping away from me.

    In retrospect, I'm glad my aspirations then didn't pan out. I learned much more from the disasters than I would have thought possible, and learning how to put broken pieces back together has served me better in life than I would have thought possible.

    I realize it's probably not what you want (or even need) to hear, but being where you are is almost certainly making you stronger.
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    Nov 24, 2014 6:33 AM GMT
    btw, that's Bonaparts, who always has something awful to say. His happiness is measured by how much he feels he's hurt others.

    Avoid becoming this. In this manner, his posts teach us something.
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    Nov 24, 2014 6:33 AM GMT
    Bonaparts saidwe have a saying in my country which goes something like this:

    hope is consolation for fools




    Sorry, can't help myself:



    Edit: I know it doesn't seem appropriate here, but Brain Candy can be good for a laugh when pondering depression and our society's constant demands that you always feel a certain way at all times.
  • muscleboundfe...

    Posts: 392

    Nov 24, 2014 6:38 AM GMT
    yetanotherphil said
    Bonaparts saidwe have a saying in my country which goes something like this:

    hope is consolation for fools




    Sorry, can't help myself:



    You are the most awesome person on the site for bringing up kids in the hall.
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    Nov 24, 2014 6:42 AM GMT
    muscleboundfem said
    yetanotherphil said
    Bonaparts saidwe have a saying in my country which goes something like this:

    hope is consolation for fools




    Sorry, can't help myself:


    You are the most awesome person on the site for bringing up kids in the hall.



    icon_redface.gif

    Thanks; I was feeling pretty crummy because I know it's in poor taste, but in an odd way that movie has always made me feel better.
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    Nov 24, 2014 6:44 AM GMT
    You guys like Kids In The Hall?!? icon_biggrin.gif

    (Canadian here)

  • muscleboundfe...

    Posts: 392

    Nov 24, 2014 6:46 AM GMT
    yetanotherphil said
    muscleboundfem said
    yetanotherphil said
    Bonaparts saidwe have a saying in my country which goes something like this:

    hope is consolation for fools




    Sorry, can't help myself:


    You are the most awesome person on the site for bringing up kids in the hall.



    icon_redface.gif

    Thanks; I was feeling pretty crummy because I know it's in poor taste, but in an odd way that movie has always made me feel better.


    Comedy is an excellent way to deal with pain. It has saved many lives.
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    Nov 24, 2014 1:06 PM GMT
    You know, I think self doubt is pretty normal at 20. I'm 20 and I too, think like you at times. There's a lot of crap in the world and a lot of things don't work out, but you know, some do. It's those elusive some things that you should live for!

    Something that really helped me was travelling alone. Go somewhere by yourself. It'll give you a fresh perspective on things and show you just how much the world has to offer. Also, you'll feel a unique sense of achievement and you'll feel much, much better about yourself.

    Feel better. icon_smile.gif
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    Nov 24, 2014 2:21 PM GMT
    life is long and it throws shit your way. You can count at some point; exactly now, in 3 years or 30 years from now it will seem overwhelming and not worth it.

    i am am not saying it gets better or just ignore the feelings. For sure dont let it do you permanent harm and you will be stronger.
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    Nov 24, 2014 3:35 PM GMT
    Force saidI mean I do have great family and friends but when I’m alone it hits me how shitty I truly feel about myself. I don’t believe I will ever find love, I don’t feel that my aspirations in life will never come true, and I always feel that I should just give up. I feel that every time I put my heart in something it gets broken. If you’re someone who feels hopeful, how do you do it?


    You said write whatever comments you want, so...

    Sorry, but 'hope' doesn't have anything to do with feeling good.

    Hope is passive, It's imagining 'something' will miraculously change your future, like a knight in shining armour (aka a 'lover') or a fucking fairy with a magic wand.

    I accept it's very appealing because it requires zero effort on your part. Just like all the other Hollywood fantasy bullshit and romantic fiction that most people honestly believe could happen lol.

    However, in the real world, I can safely assure you that nothing will change how you feel about life unless you're motivated and determined to make it happen yourself - it's something you 'work' at, something that requires effort.

    The only reason you or anyone feels "shitty" about their life is because they've built up this whole negative way of looking at it. They take a situation or scenario that's actually happened, and give it a negative spin. Over time, this becomes the evidence or proof that reality really is shitty.

    And unsurprisingly if you choose to do this a few thousand times a year, year-in year-out, it won't be long before you've convinced yourself life really is awful, that you're completely powerless to change it, and that boo-hoo you need a lover to come save you. Oh hello depression, nice to see you.

    The only fix for this whole world of crap is to stop doing it. Start empowering yourself and taking control of how you feel. Feelings aren't random; you make them happen by what you choose to think about. So stop perceiving things with a negative spin. Start building a positive story about things that happen. Believe in this positive story in the same way you've been happy to accept the negative story. Repeat a few thousand times and, equally unsurprisingly, life does start to look better.
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    Nov 24, 2014 4:33 PM GMT
    Bonaparts said
    meninlove said btw, that's Bonaparts, who always has something awful to say. His happiness is measured by how much he feels he's hurt others.

    Avoid becoming this. In this manner, his posts teach us something.




    how is this awful? It is a saying in my country which describes false promise, hope is for fools

    Its not for fools, hope is what gets your spirit alive if you have no hope then you have no reason to keep going or fight for things, but what would you know about any of this? Nothing as usual.
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    Nov 24, 2014 4:52 PM GMT
    Start by cutting out ALL processed sugar from yours diet . Keep a journal of your daily mood. Then add heavy squats to your workout. The change is your body's mood chemicals from these two changes will astound you.
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    Nov 24, 2014 5:44 PM GMT
    Alpha13 saidStart by cutting out ALL processed sugar from yours diet . Keep a journal of your daily mood. Then add heavy squats to your workout. The change is your body's mood chemicals from these two changes will astound you.


    Funny you say that because I have been eating a lot differently lately and writing almost everyday about my mood. It's not something I've done for a long time but it seems that in the long run it will change me. Or, perhaps it already is. As far as more squats I'll look into that.
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    Nov 24, 2014 6:03 PM GMT
    PhysicalCity saidYou said write whatever comments you want, so...

    Sorry, but 'hope' doesn't have anything to do with feeling good.

    Hope is passive, It's imagining 'something' will miraculously change your future, like a knight in shining armour (aka a 'lover') or a fucking fairy with a magic wand.

    I accept it's very appealing because it requires zero effort on your part. Just like all the other Hollywood fantasy bullshit and romantic fiction that most people honestly believe could happen lol.

    However, in the real world, I can safely assure you that nothing will change how you feel about life unless you're motivated and determined to make it happen yourself - it's something you 'work' at, something that requires effort.

    The only reason you or anyone feels "shitty" about their life is because they've built up this whole negative way of looking at it. They take a situation or scenario that's actually happened, and give it a negative spin. Over time, this becomes the evidence or proof that reality really is shitty.

    And unsurprisingly if you choose to do this a few thousand times a year, year-in year-out, it won't be long before you've convinced yourself life really is awful, that you're completely powerless to change it, and that boo-hoo you need a lover to come save you. Oh hello depression, nice to see you.

    The only fix for this whole world of crap is to stop doing it. Start empowering yourself and taking control of how you feel. Feelings aren't random; you make them happen by what you choose to think about. So stop perceiving things with a negative spin. Start building a positive story about things that happen. Believe in this positive story in the same way you've been happy to accept the negative story. Repeat a few thousand times and, equally unsurprisingly, life does start to look better.


    You must be channeling my mother. With just some exceptions, I think there's quite a bit of merit to what you've said so eloquently, particularly where you conclude with the faith statement to "Believe in this positive story in the same way you've been happy to accept the negative story." I like how you phrased that.

    It should be noted though how much easier it is to think you control your feelings without regard to the situation when your life is easier than when times are hard.

    Also I think you have to be a little careful in the judgment of that because it seems somehow easier to criticize a person being sad for themselves when their life gets rough yet we laud a person whose life is going well but who gets sad for someone else experiencing difficulty. Empathy is generous, not narrowly exerted, though how we react might be contained.

    Being unaffected by hard times is sociopathic. Overcoming or letting go particularly of disruptive feelings is enlightenment.

    There is danger on that fulcrum of nirvana/nihilism. While it might be of utilitarian purpose to think positively, it might be teetering on insanity to deny the pain.

    So while I think you've spoken a lot of truth, I don't know that hope is necessarily passive though it can be. Because hope also can be a step or a carrot to facilitate moving forward; and even if not, certainly no hope is not encouraging.

    "Hope is a good breakfast, but it is a bad supper."~~Francis Bacon



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    Nov 24, 2014 7:37 PM GMT
    Force said
    Alpha13 saidStart by cutting out ALL processed sugar from yours diet . Keep a journal of your daily mood. Then add heavy squats to your workout. The change is your body's mood chemicals from these two changes will astound you.


    Funny you say that because I have been eating a lot differently lately and writing almost everyday about my mood. It's not something I've done for a long time but it seems that in the long run it will change me. Or, perhaps it already is. As far as more squats I'll look into that.



    Not more squats but heavier. The legs are the biggest muscle and bone so they have the most potential to change your chemistry . Try removing all wheat based food from your diet as well. Increase your omega 3 good fats.
  • davfit

    Posts: 309

    Nov 24, 2014 10:21 PM GMT
    Wow.. boy I was in that boat at twenty.. This to shall Pass
    Remember You.. are in charge of your internal dialogue..make it positve and loving...

    Get the book" Manifest your Destiny" by Dr Wayne Dyer a God in my eyes.. he will let you know how life works and what to do
    because ..no one tells us..

    Also Diet, Excerise are very important to keep our my mind an Spirit on the right track

    Your a Great lookin kid ...don't waste a precious moment of this blessing of.. The Journey of life ..we are all given.
    Explore ..love ..live
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    Nov 24, 2014 10:31 PM GMT
    Force said I mean I do have great family and friends but when I’m alone it hits me how shitty I truly feel about myself. I don’t believe I will ever find love, I don’t feel that my aspirations in life will never come true, and I always feel that I should just give up. I feel that every time I put my heart in something it gets broken. If you’re someone who feels hopeful, how do you do it?

    Feel free to write whatever mean comments you want to write. There is nothing anyone can say or do that will make me feel worse at the moment. I’m not trying to be an attention whore. I’m trying to do something that I’m not known for doing, being honest about my feelings.


    YOU believe that you will never find love.

    YOU believe that your aspirations in life will never come true.

    How could that be? How can you predict the future? How can you be so certain about life?

    Life is such a complex and uncertain thing. Nothing is predictable except tax and death.

    It seems like you know exactly what will or won't happen in your life. This is the true problem here. You have a negative bias and it's bringing you down. You don't believe in yourself. You're stuck in negatives thoughts and you can't seem to get out of it...

    No one can make you happy except you. No relationship will bring you happiness if you can't find it in yourself first.

    It's all in your head.

    You and only you have the power to make this life better. Don't be a victim. Don't beat yourself over things you can't control.

    I would advice you to consult a psychologist if this is getting too hard to handle.


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    Nov 24, 2014 11:17 PM GMT
    Force saidHow does one keep hope alive?
    Live in Hope Arkansas.
    IMGP1959.JPG
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    Nov 25, 2014 12:16 AM GMT
    The 20's are a difficult and also fun age. Difficult because you're starting to have adult responsibilities an you're just learning the ropes. Fun because you have a lot of freedom and so much of life ahead (reminds me of a particular song). Make sure you do as much fun stuff as you can and enjoy your freedom ... keep learning and use the youthful resilience to bounce back from setbacks.