Reconnecting with A FWB???

  • PRDGUY

    Posts: 641

    Nov 27, 2014 2:01 AM GMT
    About 19 months ago my best friend (w/ benefits) graduated with his masters and moved away to take a job with Google. Although we tried to keep in touch he had thrown himself into his new job and recently haven't been in touch. Last week my mother spotted him here in town and from a mutual friend have heard that he has moved back after losing his job. I want to take this Thanksgiving to try to reconnect with my buddy of a decade, but I'm wondering why he hasn't called or texted that he's back. Was thinking of sending him a text thanking him for his friendship which I valued very much, and inviting him over to hang out but I'm hung up on the fact that he hasn't contacted me? Would you text him or not???
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 27, 2014 4:23 AM GMT
    If you're that hung up with him not contacting you, then yes I would text him so you could have some peace of mind. If he doesn't text you back, then that means he's moved on.
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 872

    Nov 27, 2014 4:23 AM GMT
    Yeah. I would reach out to him. There is very little to lose, and something to win.icon_biggrin.gif

    Getting a job with Google is pretty much like winning a lottery. Losing it must feel the same way, just in the other direction. Besides, you have noticed that the guy has been trying very hard to meet his "objectives", hasn't he? The fact that he failed probably still weighs heavily on his shoulders.

    Do not push your envelope too far. If he ain't ready to reconnect, he just ain't. But give him a chance he deserves...


    SC

  • PRDGUY

    Posts: 641

    Nov 27, 2014 6:34 AM GMT
    Ohhh sorry if I gave the wrong idea or impression that I was disappointed in him -quite the opposite. I don't know why he's no longer working with Google but I'm sure it wasn't anything to do with his performance. Several years ago he built me a state-of-the-art computer from scratch. So he can do anything he really wants to. I guess I should have said he's no longer working with Google -however I have heard they're consolidating their plants/centers here so it could be he just didn't want them to relocate him again. but that does raise another question in my mind perhaps he may be afraid to contact me as he made feel if in fact he was let go down. I hadn't actually thought about that cuz I was always his biggest cheerleader and in fact encouraged him to apply for the job initially.
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    Nov 27, 2014 6:48 AM GMT
    Sometimes friends move on. Sometimes they can be reeled back in, sometimes they can't be. Like the guys above said, you have nothing to lose by reaching out.

    (Well, OK, you could lose if the guy has lost his job because he's turned into an unemployable tweeker and you let him move in with you and drain all the life force out of you (been there, done that, kicked the bum out). But just don't let that happen.)
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    Nov 27, 2014 8:03 AM GMT
    19 months is a long time. Reach out to him, but don't expect for him to feel the way you want him to feel. Have an open mind, but at the same time know the fact that things may not be the same.
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    Nov 27, 2014 2:43 PM GMT
    PRDGUY saidOhhh sorry if I gave the wrong idea or impression that I was disappointed in him -quite the opposite. I don't know why he's no longer working with Google but I'm sure it wasn't anything to do with his performance. Several years ago he built me a state-of-the-art computer from scratch. So he can do anything he really wants to. I guess I should have said he's no longer working with Google -however I have heard they're consolidating their plants/centers here so it could be he just didn't want them to relocate him again. but that does raise another question in my mind perhaps he may be afraid to contact me as he made feel if in fact he was let go down. I hadn't actually thought about that cuz I was always his biggest cheerleader and in fact encouraged him to apply for the job initially.


    My bet is he is embarrassed and depressed. That's the natural score for being let go or fired. Notwithstanding his acumen as you describe it, some people just don't fit into a certain corporate culture. Also, be aware, if you do contact him he prob will be evasive...why? Depression basically kills sex drive and he thinks he may be required to perform like the previous times with you.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Nov 27, 2014 3:28 PM GMT
    Text him already! (But just ONCE.)

    Waddua got ta loose?
  • PRDGUY

    Posts: 641

    Nov 28, 2014 11:53 AM GMT
    thank you all for the encouragement and the advice. I went ahead and instead of texting him, sent him email so it would not seem so urgent and or desperate.
    Again thank you so much for the advice.
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    Nov 28, 2014 3:16 PM GMT
    PRDGUY saidthank you all for the encouragement and the advice. I went ahead and instead of texting him, sent him email so it would not seem so urgent and or desperate.
    Again thank you so much for the advice.


    Let us know what happens
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    Nov 29, 2014 7:44 PM GMT
    Good luck with this. I hope he responds and you guys have a shot at putting your friendship back together - one way or another.

    As for Google, my s.o. and I live very near the main campus here, and from what we know first hand, employment at Google is very, very competitive. The burn out rate is high. Guys & women working there bust their asses to keep their jobs, with long, long work weeks. This is a tough place to work, albeit a very rewarding place as well. Your friend may not be ready to talk about what he went through, or - he may come around and be totally ready to share his experiences. Hopefully you'll end up friends, at the very least.
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    Nov 30, 2014 8:11 PM GMT
    Any response from him? icon_smile.gif
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    Dec 02, 2014 7:36 PM GMT
    PRDGUY saidthank you all for the encouragement and the advice. I went ahead and instead of texting him, sent him email so it would not seem so urgent and or desperate.
    Again thank you so much for the advice.



    What happened?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 03, 2014 7:03 PM GMT
    I think we will hear something soon, author of this topic was online today.