Tensions mount in the United States after cops shoot Black Friday

  • JackDoyle

    Posts: 706

    Nov 28, 2014 12:35 PM GMT
    http://waterfordwhispersnews.com/2014/11/28/tensions-mount-in-united-states-after-cops-shoot-black-friday/

    "TENSIONS have grown today in the USA, as reports began to emerge that members of the Police Department had shot and killed Black Friday.
    Black Friday, the day following Thanksgiving, is traditionally known as the start of the Christmas shopping period in America. Many stores open early, and offer huge discounts leading to a massive surge in customers throughout the day. However, this huge increase in trade has on occasion resulted in violent outbursts from shoppers, leading many retailers to express concern and increase security for the day.
    Following 911 calls yesterday from stores warning police that Black Friday was approaching, officers across all 50 states began firing their weapons until emergency services pronounced Black Friday to be dead. Calenders rolled straight into Saturday the 30th, causing a huge social upheaval which many fear will escalate into violent riots.
    “Black Friday is a peaceful day, never did any harm to anybody, but all of a sudden the police just roll up and shoot it dead” said one furious shopper.
    “They’ll say they were just responding to a 911 call from concerned stores, but there’s 51 other Fridays every year that don’t get shot, and you and I know both know why; ’cause they ain’t Black Friday. You don’t ever hear about cops shooting no Good Friday”.
    Following the incident, the United States Justice department issued a statement in which it praised the bravery of the officers involved, and urged people across the nation to be calm following the unfortunate event.
    “Early on Thanksgiving, we received calls from stores expressing their concern for the safety of both their staff and their customers, due to the impending arrival of Black Friday” said Jarrod Mackenzie, spokesperson for the Justice Department.
    “Our officers quickly dealt with the situation, but when Black Friday continued to approach they had no choice but to resolve the matter using deadly force. People must appreciate the dangers faced by officers on duty, and I urge citizens to remain calm during these times”.
    Protests are expected to continue across the Thanksgiving weekend, as it was reported that officers involved in the shooting are to face no charges."

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    Nov 28, 2014 2:46 PM GMT
    Q) Why are there no Irish lawyers?
    A) Have you ever seen an Irishman pass a bar?
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    Nov 28, 2014 2:46 PM GMT
    Q) What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake?
    A) One less drunk
  • JackDoyle

    Posts: 706

    Nov 28, 2014 3:11 PM GMT
    Sharkspeare saidQ) What's the difference between an Irish wedding and and Irish wake?
    A) One less drunk



    I had to go see my doctor today because I’m having an unusual problem. I say to him, “I’ve got a problem, every time I finish masturbating I sing the American national anthem”.

    The doctor said, “Don’t worry, a lot of wankers sing that”.
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    Nov 28, 2014 3:35 PM GMT
    An Irishman walks into a bar
    Says "ow"
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    Nov 28, 2014 3:40 PM GMT
    Mr Doyle,
    I thought of a very clever comeback...but then I clicked on your ASS PIC!

    Now all I got is 'THANK YOU!'
  • tj85016

    Posts: 4123

    Nov 28, 2014 4:38 PM GMT
    how do you get a one-armed Irishman out of a tree?
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    Nov 28, 2014 4:47 PM GMT
    I have to give it to Sharky. icon_lol.gif
  • JackDoyle

    Posts: 706

    Nov 28, 2014 10:50 PM GMT
    I think South Park got it right icon_lol.gif

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    Nov 29, 2014 5:32 PM GMT
    tj85016 saidhow do you get a one-armed Irishman out of a tree?


    I give up. How do you get an one armed Irishman out of a tree?
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    Nov 29, 2014 6:22 PM GMT
    massey said
    tj85016 saidhow do you get a one-armed Irishman out of a tree?


    I give up. How do you get an one armed Irishman out of a tree?

    by cutting the tree?
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    Nov 29, 2014 7:37 PM GMT
    Hand him a beer...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 30, 2014 2:51 AM GMT
    Wyndahoi saidHand him a beer...

    Yep, that would get me down. icon_lol.gif
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    Nov 30, 2014 10:08 PM GMT
    Black Friday had it coming!icon_lol.gif
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    Nov 30, 2014 10:09 PM GMT
    massey said

    Yep, that would get me down. icon_lol.gif



    Gawd, in my younger days I would have loved to get you down!