Was this a hate crime against sexual orientation? & What should I do?

  • gjoseph

    Posts: 250

    Jan 18, 2009 10:10 PM GMT
    Just to forewarn you this involves HS drama....
    I change the names since my friend is taking the case to higher authorities....

    Ok it starts off like this....my best-friend's name is "Holly" and she's a lesbian. Her friend "Natalie" dated one of the football players for the school and he's very arrogant and cocky. Long story short... he make's a smart comment about her and then she throws mayo on him and he throw's mustard (I know so infantile) she want's to meet him after-school at the park to VERBALLY get to him not fight and he ends up dragging Holly out of my friends car punching her in the face and shoving her to the ground. Also, to give y'all some background my friend "Holly" won Homecoming queen and now the boy's "friends" are saying she deserved to get hit etc. What's wrong with these boy's like I've been crying for the past two days and like whenever I see her I just want to hug her and keep on crying. I told my parents and guidance counselor and MANY people have complained because no-one should EVER hit a girl! I met up with her last night at the hookah lounge and we talked and chilled... she told me she's pressing charges Thank God! Also, she's scared that the boy is going to stay at the school. I attend catholic school (Southern, Conservative, not Gay Friendly) who has tried to cause problems for her in the past. Basically, she fears that the school isn't going to expel the boy for his actions..... should I continue complaining? I'm also scared in a way because I cannot fathom a situation like this occurring. On tuesday I plan on meeting with administration if y'all think that's the right choice.

    Thanks!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 18, 2009 11:35 PM GMT
    I'd be willing to bet it's more because she's an insecure bitch and he's got a case of testosterone poisoning.

    Just let it diffuse itself.
  • gjoseph

    Posts: 250

    Jan 19, 2009 1:15 AM GMT
    Honestly, I really don't think she's insecure....she has a very confident attitude and personality. The boy on the other-hand definitely had (testosterone poisoning) he basically "whacked" out from what I saw and afraid to lose his ego by a "girl". So far I've just tried to be a good friend to "Holly" by being there for her etc. I just don't want to see her go since we basically have less than 4 months until graduation. I rather see consequences for the boy he's always taunting others to be "popular", playing pranks, doing infantile acts. I seriously can't imagine him in college for all of the sh*t that he has done to me and my other classmates.

    Like what he did is not tolerated they both were in the wrong for their actions...her tempting him to take action---- and she accepts what she did. The boy doesn't he's still acting cocky and believes he did the right thing. He left my friend with a swollen eye and a big a$$ scar on her right temple with bruises on her right face.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 19, 2009 1:20 AM GMT
    Why aren't the authories involved forget the schools officials call the authories were pictures taken of her bruises as evidence?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 19, 2009 1:21 AM GMT
    ultimately this is none of your business, support your friend in what she decides to do. is she under 18? if so it is her parents responsibility to follow thru with the police and/or school, if she is 18, then that falls to her, not you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 19, 2009 1:31 AM GMT
    Is your friend Gay????
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 19, 2009 1:36 AM GMT
    Ducky44 saidIs your friend Gay????



    yeah he said she's lesbian remember
  • gjoseph

    Posts: 250

    Jan 19, 2009 1:38 AM GMT
    Yes pictures were taken, and yes she's a lesbian! I know "some" of it is none of my business but I feel somewhat guilty b/c I could have stopped it when I saw his cues of rage. When I was younger I witnessed my own mother being "Hit" by her ex-boyfriend. I have never come across domestic violence or any type of violence until I witnessed that. Psychologically, I'm sound and happy but this has kinda re-ignited my feelings. Maybe I still have anger and want justice. I come from a "privileged" family and have been sheltered from birth which has had it's pros/cons. I haven't gone into her business like some of my other classmates are. I only wanted to talk to her whenever she was ready and that was last night and the incident occurred Wednesday.

    I'm just trying to look-out for her b/c she's always looked out for me. I guess I'll just step-back and let things workout...I guess everything happens for a reason. I just cannot see my friend leave....she was the 1st person I came-out to, and she always puts a smile on my face. I just don't want her to leave because I know once she leaves things are going to change especially once we graduate I'm leaving for college and she's staying in Tampa =(





  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 19, 2009 1:49 AM GMT
    . What you're saying is that you basically witnessed your friend get assulted and you and no one else did anything especially when you felt that things were exculating. WOW!

  • Aquanerd

    Posts: 845

    Jan 19, 2009 1:54 AM GMT
    As a friend you should be asking her what you can do for her, period!
  • gjoseph

    Posts: 250

    Jan 19, 2009 2:00 AM GMT
    Well see I didn't witness....If I was there I would have taken the beatings for her. I was in tutoring when the incident occured...my friend texted me telling me how she was getting hit by the boy and I FREAKED! I ran to my car jumped in and sped off to the park. By the time I got there it was too late =(

    I just can't understand out of 10 people why didn't any of them stop it there was 7 guys and 3 girls from what was shared with me. It was a good thing there was one decent person who actually stopped more beatings to occur. It's just heartbreaking for me to type this and just think about it. I mean I would put my life down for my best friend and none of these people who say they're her friend would try to stop it except one person right when she started to bleed.

    I just feel so guilty.....I feel guilty about what happened to my friend and I feel guilty witnessing my mom getting hit. I guess I just need time to heal again I just cannot fathom what "Holly" is going through people who say they're your friend and not want to ante up to defend her. I definitely know 100% certain she would defend someone even the guys reading this thread she would defend each an everyone of you guys.....that's just her type of personality, and bold.
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    Jan 19, 2009 2:06 AM GMT
    take it to the news. most likely if its a school like that they wont take it to the full extent they should so if they dont then go to the local even national news. this stupid shit is completely inappropriate. she needs to press charges....if she backs down then as much as she didnt...she deserved it. if you cant face the truth and put someoen in their place then they are a pussy.


    TAKE IT TO THE NEWS!!!!!!!
  • coolarmydude

    Posts: 9190

    Jan 19, 2009 2:12 AM GMT
    You can also report to the church diocese if the local parish doesn't do anything about it. At the least, it can be treated as an assault and it would be enough for suspension.
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    Jan 19, 2009 2:12 AM GMT
    I'd be willing to bet that he felt it was OK to beat up a girl that is a lesbian, not necessarily that he wanted to beat her up because she's a lesbian that pissed him off. Hate crime law is tricky, but in any case assault is not acceptable. If your school doesn't kick him out or punish him adequately - i.e. suspension if first time or expelled if not the first time, no sports or other activities - then I'd recommend she use this to her advantage. I'd be willing to ring their phones to death making complaints. Get a news story on the phone and make it out as a hate crime if you want. Whatever it is, assualt is never acceptable. The problem: She threw the first condiment. Advice to her: If you keep your cool and keep it only in words, they don't have anything against you. Mayo is nothing compared to actual physical damage, but bigots and idiots will use any little thing to get their way. You cant EVER give them an excuse to say you antagonized them. People like this don't think with any sense.
  • gjoseph

    Posts: 250

    Jan 19, 2009 2:24 AM GMT
    Exactly, that's what I'm thinking but I will talk to her more and ask her to hang-out with me tomorrow (movies, ice skating). Otherwise, she feels embarrassed mainly because she was Homecoming Queen and now she's been humiliated for something that she cannot change. Like some dumbass freshman is going to call her "Scarface" it's like give me a break! I'll just be there with her and let her know what I experienced. I forgot to add her mom is a LAWYER!! She told me her mom is getting some of the best attorneys in the city together for her which makes me feel totally better. So basically she should be okay right? I appreciate everyone's help and advice! You guys are AWESOME!!