FRE0 saidIn school, I was seriously bullied from the ninth grade on. There is more bullying than schools realize since school personnel are often unaware of it. Many victims hide it for various reasons. Even when it is reported, most schools do not take effective action. They often accept behavior that if committed by an adult would result in a prison sentence.
Those who witness bullying and do nothing about it cause as much harm as the bully does. The victim learns that he cannot depend on others for support and loses the ability to trust other people. That often results in a life-long inability to have close relationships with other people.
Much could be done to prevent bullying. Schools have assemblies from time to time. These assemblies could be used to make it clear that bullying is not ever acceptable and that it is also unacceptable for witnesses of bullying to remain silent. They could have rôle playing sessions to teach students how to deal with bullying.
There is much available material on how to prevent and deal with bullying, so schools can no longer say that they are powerless to deal with it. If school personnel were really committed to preventing bullying, they could do so very effectively.
Victims are often advised to fight back. That may work, but often if a victim does fight back, he is disciplined for doing so and may even be expelled from the school. Schools often make no effort to be fair; they simply do what is easiest and most convenient for them.
You got it. I was bullied pretty badly in jr high, but by 9th grade I had started to gain some size and learned to fight and fought back each and every time. Worked in short order. The worse 'they' said to us was 'take it outside'. I never ever complained to admin about it, I just took care of it. (edit) And back then, had I complained, the school wouldn't have done shit about it except to say 'take care of it'.
Of course today with these out of control police departments, school systems, laws, etc, one would get thrown in jail for 10-20!
I realize joining the cheer leading squad likely makes it pretty obvious, but did the kid self identify as homosexual or were those the cat calls.
We also just lost one locally who went to an excellent, very strict Dublin Ohio school, but took his life at age 16. Very sad. I don't think gayness or bullying had anything to do with this one, but I really don't know
When I was in high school, I was somewhat smaller than average and had no game skills. Also, most kids learn good social skills in the safe environment of their families, but my siblings and I didn't. Those factors exacerbated the problem. I had wanted to take up weight lifting; I remain convinced that it would have helped, but my parents saw no point in it so I didn't have the opportunity. When I was 22, I did take up weight lifting and it made a huge difference in my self-confidence. I also took up judo.
In my case, being gay had nothing to do with it. I had only a very vague idea of what homosexuality was and, because of what I had read, ascribed to the theory that I would outgrow my feelings for guys and develop feelings for girls as I grew older.
I agree with your implication that the police and schools often over-react. It's one thing to have a good and effective anti-bullying policy, but suspending kids for things which are really minor is not good, and it does happen.
" When I was in high school, I was somewhat smaller than average and had no game skills"
I didn't have much in the way of skills until puberty ... actually until a year or so after. Then in 9th grade I hit a little growth spurt.
My dad's attitude was that anything that happened was either my fault or I started it so not much help there with the bullying.
I used some paper route money to take boxing and what eventually because MMA (mixed martial arts) during the 9th grade. I thought it was great fun to use it. No more problems. I just hope in hindsight that I didn't become the bully.
The only thing I can remember is a little horseplay with another kid in the cafeteria and then the vice principal coming up behind and slapped me open handed right over my ear. I didn't think or look to see who it was before I turned and punched him, and good. Got me no support from dad and a three day in-school suspension.
Today, that would mean the cops called, arrest, criminal charges and a trip to juvie court.
Oh, and a one-day suspension for doing a super smoky bleach burnout in the student lot, which was right outside the cafeteria at lunch time on a day when the wind was blowing into the windows. My friend who poured the bleach also got suspended. I sure there were other school incidents, but nothing I can recall right now.
Had some car related incidents outside of school such as my mother riding with me to Logan Ohio to pick up my brother at boy scout camp and then into getting a high speed chase coming back versus the Ohio State Highway Patrol. And I mean a top-end .... for every mph that car was worth, from just north of Logan all the way to Canal Winchester where I was able to get enough distance in front of them to get off route 33 and down a side road into an apartment complex where we hid the car in the trash dumpster enclosure until it got dark and I finished the trip home. Still a story that my little brother tells everyone.
And then the summer after high school I picked up a 'speed contest' ticket drag racing a Pontiac engineer in his company car with Michigan manufactures' plates in Royal Oak Michigan. Ended up being a $15 fine and a 30 day restricted license (a don't come back to Michigan for 30 days).
Can you imagine either of these incidents today what would have happened to me?