12-year-old boy on cheerleading squad commits suicide over anti-gay bullying

  • metta

    Posts: 39099

    Dec 05, 2014 9:50 PM GMT
    12-year-old boy on cheerleading squad commits suicide over anti-gay bullying

    http://www.lgbtqnation.com/2014/12/12-year-old-boy-on-cheerleading-squad-commits-suicide-over-anti-gay-bullying/
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    Dec 06, 2014 4:18 PM GMT
    metta8 said12-year-old boy on cheerleading squad commits suicide over anti-gay bullying

    http://www.lgbtqnation.com/2014/12/12-year-old-boy-on-cheerleading-squad-commits-suicide-over-anti-gay-bullying/


    If the school knew or should have had knowledge of this harassment and failed to do anything against it, it's in a world of shit. The death of this innocent young kid is a truly tragic story!
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    Dec 06, 2014 4:39 PM GMT
    metta8 said12-year-old boy on cheerleading squad commits suicide over anti-gay bullying

    http://www.lgbtqnation.com/2014/12/12-year-old-boy-on-cheerleading-squad-commits-suicide-over-anti-gay-bullying/



    I thought the press had dropped the "bully" moniker fad since they didn't use it to describe Michael Brown.
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    Dec 06, 2014 5:18 PM GMT
    This is so tragic. It's unfortunate that many view this as a "fad" topic and don't understand the reality and consequences of youth being bullied. Social media has made it far easier to harass and threaten students with unlimited access. It's not hard to spot adults who were former bullies and and understand why they will never be part of the solution.
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    Dec 06, 2014 5:51 PM GMT
    Alpha13 said
    metta8 said12-year-old boy on cheerleading squad commits suicide over anti-gay bullying

    http://www.lgbtqnation.com/2014/12/12-year-old-boy-on-cheerleading-squad-commits-suicide-over-anti-gay-bullying/



    I thought the press had dropped the "bully" moniker fad since they didn't use it to describe Michael Brown.



    Comparing an innocent child to a thug is pretty insensitive.
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    Dec 06, 2014 6:06 PM GMT
    Scruffypup said
    Alpha13 said
    metta8 said12-year-old boy on cheerleading squad commits suicide over anti-gay bullying

    http://www.lgbtqnation.com/2014/12/12-year-old-boy-on-cheerleading-squad-commits-suicide-over-anti-gay-bullying/


    I thought the press had dropped the "bully" moniker fad since they didn't use it to describe Michael Brown.


    Comparing an innocent child to a thug is pretty insensitive.


    It's also highly inaccurate; there's no legitimate comparison between the two at all, on any level.
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    Dec 06, 2014 7:33 PM GMT
    When you buck the norm the world can be quite cruel. Society will try its damnedest to get you to fall in line. You need a tough hide and an elevated sense of self to get through it. His parents, the school, and other adults in his life failed him.

    Someone needed to explain to him that the world is not a kind place and that if he wanted to do an activity that wasn't viewed as manly he had better be ready to put up with taunts, teasing, and ridicule. And that if he wasn't ready or didn't have the strength to endure the cruelty then he shouldn't do it. The should have also told him that being called gay isn't the worst thing in the world and shouldn't be viewed as an insult. History is replete with illustrious gay personages.

    Lastly, the adults and school should have done all in their power to see that the bullies paid for their cruelty. But in all honesty bullies have be with us since Cain and Able and if there are only two people left on the face of the earth at the end of time I bet dollars to donuts one will bully the other.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Dec 06, 2014 8:19 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidWhen you buck the norm the world can be quite cruel. Society will try its damnedest to get you to fall in line. You need a tough hide and an elevated sense of self to get through it. His parents, the school, and other adults in his life failed him.

    Someone needed to explain to him that the world is not a kind place and that if he wanted to do an activity that wasn't viewed as manly he had better be ready to put up with taunts, teasing, and ridicule. And that if he wasn't ready or didn't have the strength to endure the cruelty then he shouldn't do it. The should have also told him that being called gay isn't the worst thing in the world and shouldn't be viewed as an insult. History is replete with illustrious gay personages.

    Lastly, the adults and school should have done all in their power to see that the bullies paid for their cruelty. But in all honesty bullies have be with us since Cain and Able and if there are only two people left on the face of the earth at the end of time I bet dollars to donuts one will bully the other.

    Wow. I wish someome had said this to me when I was 12. Maybe I would've been a strong independent cheerleader!icon_biggrin.gif

    These suicides of gay teens are devastating, and I think gay youth need to be able find encouraging words of strength and wisdom.
  • FRE0

    Posts: 4862

    Dec 06, 2014 8:38 PM GMT
    In school, I was seriously bullied from the ninth grade on. There is more bullying than schools realize since school personnel are often unaware of it. Many victims hide it for various reasons. Even when it is reported, most schools do not take effective action. They often accept behavior that if committed by an adult would result in a prison sentence.

    Those who witness bullying and do nothing about it cause as much harm as the bully does. The victim learns that he cannot depend on others for support and loses the ability to trust other people. That often results in a life-long inability to have close relationships with other people.

    Much could be done to prevent bullying. Schools have assemblies from time to time. These assemblies could be used to make it clear that bullying is not ever acceptable and that it is also unacceptable for witnesses of bullying to remain silent. They could have rôle playing sessions to teach students how to deal with bullying.

    There is much available material on how to prevent and deal with bullying, so schools can no longer say that they are powerless to deal with it. If school personnel were really committed to preventing bullying, they could do so very effectively.

    Victims are often advised to fight back. That may work, but often if a victim does fight back, he is disciplined for doing so and may even be expelled from the school. Schools often make no effort to be fair; they simply do what is easiest and most convenient for them.
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    Dec 06, 2014 8:48 PM GMT
    It is sad that when girls want to do activities that are viewed as traditionally masculine like trying out for the football team or wrestling with the boys teams she is lauded as strong and breaking barriers, but when a boy wants to do things traditionally viewed as girly he is ridiculed and thought of as less than masculine.

    Women are allowed more freedom in exploring non traditional roles, modes of dress, etc. with little or no negative backlash to their status as women. Let a man do otherwise and his whole value as a man is called into question. It's high time men started their own liberation movement.

    We can start within our own gay community and stop the unkindness we show to each other. I'm specifically referencing the masculine/straight acting gays demonizing the feminine gays and laying at their feet all the reasons the straight world hates and ridicules us. It's time we start defending each other rather than tearing each other down. It's really self defeating in the long run and makes us no better than the bullies that tormented this poor child to despair.
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    Dec 06, 2014 8:57 PM GMT
    FRE0 saidIn school, I was seriously bullied from the ninth grade on. There is more bullying than schools realize since school personnel are often unaware of it. Many victims hide it for various reasons. Even when it is reported, most schools do not take effective action. They often accept behavior that if committed by an adult would result in a prison sentence.

    Those who witness bullying and do nothing about it cause as much harm as the bully does. The victim learns that he cannot depend on others for support and loses the ability to trust other people. That often results in a life-long inability to have close relationships with other people.

    Much could be done to prevent bullying. Schools have assemblies from time to time. These assemblies could be used to make it clear that bullying is not ever acceptable and that it is also unacceptable for witnesses of bullying to remain silent. They could have rôle playing sessions to teach students how to deal with bullying.

    There is much available material on how to prevent and deal with bullying, so schools can no longer say that they are powerless to deal with it. If school personnel were really committed to preventing bullying, they could do so very effectively.

    Victims are often advised to fight back. That may work, but often if a victim does fight back, he is disciplined for doing so and may even be expelled from the school. Schools often make no effort to be fair; they simply do what is easiest and most convenient for them.


    You got it. I was bullied pretty badly in jr high, but by 9th grade I had started to gain some size and learned to fight and fought back each and every time. Worked in short order. The worse 'they' said to us was 'take it outside'. I never ever complained to admin about it, I just took care of it. (edit) And back then, had I complained, the school wouldn't have done shit about it except to say 'take care of it'.

    Of course today with these out of control police departments, school systems, laws, etc, one would get thrown in jail for 10-20!

    I realize joining the cheer leading squad likely makes it pretty obvious, but did the kid self identify as homosexual or were those the cat calls.

    We also just lost one locally who went to an excellent, very strict Dublin Ohio school, but took his life at age 16. Very sad. I don't think gayness or bullying had anything to do with this one, but I really don't know

    http://www.thisweeknews.com/content/stories/dublin/news/2014/12/06/community-mourns-coffman-high-school-sophomore.html
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    Dec 06, 2014 9:15 PM GMT
    PatrickRyan saidThis is so tragic. It's unfortunate that many view this as a "fad" topic and don't understand the reality and consequences of youth being bullied. Social media has made it far easier to harass and threaten students with unlimited access. It's not hard to spot adults who were former bullies and and understand why they will never be part of the solution.



    Yeah, some of these people end up in the workplace as a horrible boss or worse, your horrible boss that create hostile work environments. It all starts with the grade school level. Some never grow out of immaturity, some drama infused work places are caused by these bullies who somehow managed to get into a position of power. icon_confused.gif
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    Dec 06, 2014 9:24 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidWhen you buck the norm the world can be quite cruel. Society will try its damnedest to get you to fall in line. You need a tough hide and an elevated sense of self to get through it. His parents, the school, and other adults in his life failed him.

    Someone needed to explain to him that the world is not a kind place and that if he wanted to do an activity that wasn't viewed as manly he had better be ready to put up with taunts, teasing, and ridicule. And that if he wasn't ready or didn't have the strength to endure the cruelty then he shouldn't do it. The should have also told him that being called gay isn't the worst thing in the world and shouldn't be viewed as an insult. History is replete with illustrious gay personages.

    Lastly, the adults and school should have done all in their power to see that the bullies paid for their cruelty. But in all honesty bullies have be with us since Cain and Able and if there are only two people left on the face of the earth at the end of time I bet dollars to donuts one will bully the other.


    "When you buck the norm the world can be quite cruel. Society will try its damnedest to get you to fall in line."

    Primarily why I came out in 1970 as a high school 10th grader. Of course back then none of us really fully knew what that meant.

    Started to a little bit when I ran into our senior English teacher with the DECA teacher at one of local homosexual bars, the Kismet, summer 1970. It was very obvious that these two women were together.

    Coming out that early was my 'fuck you' to the kids that had bullied me a couple of years earlier. We shared a locker room for football then later wrestling so I'm sure I made a few uncomfortable. Actually, I'm not so sure about that as everyone messed around a bit back then so I'm not sure any of them really knew what it all meant.
  • bobbobbob

    Posts: 2812

    Dec 06, 2014 11:56 PM GMT
    Here's an honest opinion straight from my heart.

    Fuck that fat 280 lb 18 year old dope head who stole cigarillos to smoke more dope and was killed for attacking a cop in Ferguson.

    Fuck that 360 lb fat jerk in NYC with 31 arrests on his rap sheet and was out on bail for the same crime he was committing when it took four cops to bring him down and be blamed for his death when he really died of obesity related heart failure complicated by four other obesity related diseases.

    A totally innocent 12 year old boy taking his own life because he'd been bullied is a REAL reason to be out in the streets threatening to burn up houses and beating the crap out of some REAL criminals.
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    Dec 07, 2014 12:56 AM GMT
    I dont think people is taking the necessary steps against bullying. You cannot reason with a 12 years old bully you have to show them theyre powerless, humiliate them in front of everyone so they lose their power. If people dont do that they will continue ding what they do because they can. and also like it or not bullies are popular and average students encourage them, then victims do stuff like this.
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    Dec 07, 2014 1:16 AM GMT
    David3K saidI dont think people is taking the necessary steps against bullying. You cannot reason with a 12 years old bully you have to show them theyre powerless, humiliate them in front of everyone so they lose their power. If people dont do that they will continue ding what they do because they can. and also like it or not bullies are popular and average students encourage them, then victims do stuff like this.


    "humiliate them in front of everyone so they lose their power"

    Exactly. Nuttin better than a real good ass beatin to do it.
  • FRE0

    Posts: 4862

    Dec 07, 2014 1:22 AM GMT
    freedomisntfree said
    FRE0 saidIn school, I was seriously bullied from the ninth grade on. There is more bullying than schools realize since school personnel are often unaware of it. Many victims hide it for various reasons. Even when it is reported, most schools do not take effective action. They often accept behavior that if committed by an adult would result in a prison sentence.

    Those who witness bullying and do nothing about it cause as much harm as the bully does. The victim learns that he cannot depend on others for support and loses the ability to trust other people. That often results in a life-long inability to have close relationships with other people.

    Much could be done to prevent bullying. Schools have assemblies from time to time. These assemblies could be used to make it clear that bullying is not ever acceptable and that it is also unacceptable for witnesses of bullying to remain silent. They could have rôle playing sessions to teach students how to deal with bullying.

    There is much available material on how to prevent and deal with bullying, so schools can no longer say that they are powerless to deal with it. If school personnel were really committed to preventing bullying, they could do so very effectively.

    Victims are often advised to fight back. That may work, but often if a victim does fight back, he is disciplined for doing so and may even be expelled from the school. Schools often make no effort to be fair; they simply do what is easiest and most convenient for them.


    You got it. I was bullied pretty badly in jr high, but by 9th grade I had started to gain some size and learned to fight and fought back each and every time. Worked in short order. The worse 'they' said to us was 'take it outside'. I never ever complained to admin about it, I just took care of it. (edit) And back then, had I complained, the school wouldn't have done shit about it except to say 'take care of it'.

    Of course today with these out of control police departments, school systems, laws, etc, one would get thrown in jail for 10-20!

    I realize joining the cheer leading squad likely makes it pretty obvious, but did the kid self identify as homosexual or were those the cat calls.

    We also just lost one locally who went to an excellent, very strict Dublin Ohio school, but took his life at age 16. Very sad. I don't think gayness or bullying had anything to do with this one, but I really don't know

    http://www.thisweeknews.com/content/stories/dublin/news/2014/12/06/community-mourns-coffman-high-school-sophomore.html


    When I was in high school, I was somewhat smaller than average and had no game skills. Also, most kids learn good social skills in the safe environment of their families, but my siblings and I didn't. Those factors exacerbated the problem. I had wanted to take up weight lifting; I remain convinced that it would have helped, but my parents saw no point in it so I didn't have the opportunity. When I was 22, I did take up weight lifting and it made a huge difference in my self-confidence. I also took up judo.

    In my case, being gay had nothing to do with it. I had only a very vague idea of what homosexuality was and, because of what I had read, ascribed to the theory that I would outgrow my feelings for guys and develop feelings for girls as I grew older.

    I agree with your implication that the police and schools often over-react. It's one thing to have a good and effective anti-bullying policy, but suspending kids for things which are really minor is not good, and it does happen.
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    Dec 07, 2014 2:32 AM GMT
    this just makes me sad icon_sad.gif

    and also mad.
    because this is another reason why we don't need gender double standard and society-construed gender expectation.


    also when did cheerleading become an unmanly thing? I thought in some /old/ cheerleading movies they have males to be the strong person to do semi-gymnastic thing like lifting a girl or something??
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    Dec 07, 2014 2:33 AM GMT
    FRE0 said
    freedomisntfree said
    FRE0 saidIn school, I was seriously bullied from the ninth grade on. There is more bullying than schools realize since school personnel are often unaware of it. Many victims hide it for various reasons. Even when it is reported, most schools do not take effective action. They often accept behavior that if committed by an adult would result in a prison sentence.

    Those who witness bullying and do nothing about it cause as much harm as the bully does. The victim learns that he cannot depend on others for support and loses the ability to trust other people. That often results in a life-long inability to have close relationships with other people.

    Much could be done to prevent bullying. Schools have assemblies from time to time. These assemblies could be used to make it clear that bullying is not ever acceptable and that it is also unacceptable for witnesses of bullying to remain silent. They could have rôle playing sessions to teach students how to deal with bullying.

    There is much available material on how to prevent and deal with bullying, so schools can no longer say that they are powerless to deal with it. If school personnel were really committed to preventing bullying, they could do so very effectively.

    Victims are often advised to fight back. That may work, but often if a victim does fight back, he is disciplined for doing so and may even be expelled from the school. Schools often make no effort to be fair; they simply do what is easiest and most convenient for them.


    You got it. I was bullied pretty badly in jr high, but by 9th grade I had started to gain some size and learned to fight and fought back each and every time. Worked in short order. The worse 'they' said to us was 'take it outside'. I never ever complained to admin about it, I just took care of it. (edit) And back then, had I complained, the school wouldn't have done shit about it except to say 'take care of it'.

    Of course today with these out of control police departments, school systems, laws, etc, one would get thrown in jail for 10-20!

    I realize joining the cheer leading squad likely makes it pretty obvious, but did the kid self identify as homosexual or were those the cat calls.

    We also just lost one locally who went to an excellent, very strict Dublin Ohio school, but took his life at age 16. Very sad. I don't think gayness or bullying had anything to do with this one, but I really don't know

    http://www.thisweeknews.com/content/stories/dublin/news/2014/12/06/community-mourns-coffman-high-school-sophomore.html


    When I was in high school, I was somewhat smaller than average and had no game skills. Also, most kids learn good social skills in the safe environment of their families, but my siblings and I didn't. Those factors exacerbated the problem. I had wanted to take up weight lifting; I remain convinced that it would have helped, but my parents saw no point in it so I didn't have the opportunity. When I was 22, I did take up weight lifting and it made a huge difference in my self-confidence. I also took up judo.

    In my case, being gay had nothing to do with it. I had only a very vague idea of what homosexuality was and, because of what I had read, ascribed to the theory that I would outgrow my feelings for guys and develop feelings for girls as I grew older.

    I agree with your implication that the police and schools often over-react. It's one thing to have a good and effective anti-bullying policy, but suspending kids for things which are really minor is not good, and it does happen.



    " When I was in high school, I was somewhat smaller than average and had no game skills"

    I didn't have much in the way of skills until puberty ... actually until a year or so after. Then in 9th grade I hit a little growth spurt.

    My dad's attitude was that anything that happened was either my fault or I started it so not much help there with the bullying.

    I used some paper route money to take boxing and what eventually because MMA (mixed martial arts) during the 9th grade. I thought it was great fun to use it. No more problems. I just hope in hindsight that I didn't become the bully.

    The only thing I can remember is a little horseplay with another kid in the cafeteria and then the vice principal coming up behind and slapped me open handed right over my ear. I didn't think or look to see who it was before I turned and punched him, and good. Got me no support from dad and a three day in-school suspension.

    Today, that would mean the cops called, arrest, criminal charges and a trip to juvie court.

    Oh, and a one-day suspension for doing a super smoky bleach burnout in the student lot, which was right outside the cafeteria at lunch time on a day when the wind was blowing into the windows. My friend who poured the bleach also got suspended. I sure there were other school incidents, but nothing I can recall right now.

    Had some car related incidents outside of school such as my mother riding with me to Logan Ohio to pick up my brother at boy scout camp and then into getting a high speed chase coming back versus the Ohio State Highway Patrol. And I mean a top-end .... for every mph that car was worth, from just north of Logan all the way to Canal Winchester where I was able to get enough distance in front of them to get off route 33 and down a side road into an apartment complex where we hid the car in the trash dumpster enclosure until it got dark and I finished the trip home. Still a story that my little brother tells everyone.

    And then the summer after high school I picked up a 'speed contest' ticket drag racing a Pontiac engineer in his company car with Michigan manufactures' plates in Royal Oak Michigan. Ended up being a $15 fine and a 30 day restricted license (a don't come back to Michigan for 30 days).

    Can you imagine either of these incidents today what would have happened to me?
  • Noeton

    Posts: 208

    Dec 07, 2014 2:58 AM GMT
    Truly tragic and horrible.
  • FRE0

    Posts: 4862

    Dec 07, 2014 3:34 AM GMT
    leafgreen saidthis just makes me sad icon_sad.gif

    and also mad.
    because this is another reason why we don't need gender double standard and society-construed gender expectation.


    also when did cheerleading become an unmanly thing? I thought in some /old/ cheerleading movies they have males to be the strong person to do semi-gymnastic thing like lifting a girl or something??


    Good point. There is no reason for cheerleading to be considered unmanly.
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    Dec 07, 2014 4:35 AM GMT
    Alpha13 said
    metta8 said12-year-old boy on cheerleading squad commits suicide over anti-gay bullying

    http://www.lgbtqnation.com/2014/12/12-year-old-boy-on-cheerleading-squad-commits-suicide-over-anti-gay-bullying/



    I thought the press had dropped the "bully" moniker fad since they didn't use it to describe Michael Brown.


    Good point. Wrong place. You can't win that battle here...
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    Dec 07, 2014 6:14 AM GMT
    leafgreen saidthis just makes me sad icon_sad.gif

    and also mad.
    because this is another reason why we don't need gender double standard and society-construed gender expectation.


    also when did cheerleading become an unmanly thing? I thought in some /old/ cheerleading movies they have males to be the strong person to do semi-gymnastic thing like lifting a girl or something??


    Do you live under a rock? Boys play football and girls are cheerleaders, thats how its always been and just like everything else that's deviated from the standard people make fun of it.
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    Dec 07, 2014 6:24 AM GMT
    pazzy said
    bobbobbob saidHere's an honest opinion straight from my heart.

    Fuck that fat 280 lb 18 year old dope head who stole cigarillos to smoke more dope and was killed for attacking a cop in Ferguson.

    Fuck that 360 lb fat jerk in NYC with 31 arrests on his rap sheet and was out on bail for the same crime he was committing when it took four cops to bring him down and be blamed for his death when he really died of obesity related heart failure complicated by four other obesity related diseases.

    A totally innocent 12 year old boy taking his own life because he'd been bullied is a REAL reason to be out in the streets threatening to burn up houses and beating the crap out of some REAL criminals.



    i have an honest opinion about you too. fuck you for being a racist.



    I'm actually genuinely curious.....what exactly about his post sounds racist to you?
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    Dec 07, 2014 5:38 PM GMT
    bobbobbob saidHere's an honest opinion straight from my heart.

    Fuck that fat 280 lb 18 year old dope head who stole cigarillos to smoke more dope and was killed for attacking a cop in Ferguson.

    Fuck that 360 lb fat jerk in NYC with 31 arrests on his rap sheet and was out on bail for the same crime he was committing when it took four cops to bring him down and be blamed for his death when he really died of obesity related heart failure complicated by four other obesity related diseases.

    A totally innocent 12 year old boy taking his own life because he'd been bullied is a REAL reason to be out in the streets threatening to burn up houses and beating the crap out of some REAL criminals.


    Well said. But, I think both he and his family would prefer - and appreciate - some donations to help them through their loss, instead of people mindlessly marching, if not rioting and torching, to and fro on their purported "behalf." Contributing to a local fund to counsel gay kids would be a good idea and a positive approach.