Dating,

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 06, 2014 9:05 AM GMT
    So there's this guy I currently have feelings for. We aren't very close but we have small talk from time to time and I think he probably considers me a friend. I'm not sure if he's into guys or not. Should I ask him out on a date, ask him if he wants to hangout, or ask him if he likes other men first?icon_question.gif

    ~Night_Owl
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 873

    Dec 06, 2014 12:23 PM GMT
    Asking him if he likes other men first is possibly the single worst question you can ask any guy. Sure, he may be totally out and happy to tell you, "yeah, I like guys alright. But you are NOT my type..."

    How would that help you?

    Rather than interviewing the dude for the position available, let the things take their natural course.

    Hang out together. Invite him for the pizzas, beer and movies at home. Or for a home-cooked/catered dinner with champagne or for the Bucks cake or whatever.

    The dude will spill out his beans on his own sooner than you expect him to... and you'll get the lay of the land before you.

    SC
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4434

    Dec 06, 2014 2:55 PM GMT
    Find a way to throw some comment into your small talk that is solidly pro-gay and see what he says. If he's gay friendly, you can say "you know I'm gay, don't you?" Then take it from there. Good luck!
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    Dec 06, 2014 3:06 PM GMT
    gay men are the 5% so chances are he is mostly straight. If he is indeed gay enough; he has to want to be in a relationship for his own interests, not just yours.

    get him on board as a friend first. A solid accepting friend, gay or straight, who has your back is very valuable in life. Just accept him as a friend.

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    Dec 06, 2014 3:15 PM GMT
    Ask him if he's gone to any bars/clubs you know are gay in your area... if so, it'll open the court in the right direction.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Dec 07, 2014 3:19 AM GMT
    Sounds like a casual crush, most likely he's str8. Enjoy what you presently got, a str8 friend.
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    Dec 07, 2014 4:26 AM GMT
    Haha. Thanks guys. I appreciate it. I'll let you know how it goes.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Dec 07, 2014 4:39 AM GMT
    Find out if he is married or has a girl friend. Best thing to do is start talking about movies, actors, actresses and singers. You'll get a clue from how he talks about them. For instance what does he think about Niki Minaj, Beyonce, Kloe Kardashian ... does he say stuff like they have some hot bootie? Or if he says he prefers his women with not so much junk in the trunk he's straight. Really, if you are crushing on the guy, it's pretty likely he is straight. Sucks, but most gay men are more attracted to straight men than they are to other gay men.
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    Dec 07, 2014 6:53 AM GMT
    Every crush I've had, I always found some "dirt" about them. I think of myself as a private investigator icon_cool.gif. I wish I could teach you everything I know, but for the sake of this post I cannot. Just throw a party and invite him. That way you can learn more about him. Make sure there are other people coming, and invite someone that he and you both know mutually, so it doesn't make things awkward.

    "I find it funny that I can give other people advice, but when it comes to me I got nothing"~GrumpyDinosaurs
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Dec 07, 2014 7:07 AM GMT
    GrumpyDinosaurs saidEvery crush I've had, I always found some "dirt" about them. I think of myself as a private investigator icon_cool.gif. I wish I could teach you everything I know, but for the sake of this post I cannot. I would through throw a party, and invite him. That way you can learn more about him. Oh and if you do through throw a party and invite him, make sure there are other people coming, and invite someone that he and you both know mutually, so it doesn't make things awkward.

    "I find it funny that I can give other people advice, but when it comes to me I got nothing"~GrumpyDinosaurs


    Corrected
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    Dec 07, 2014 8:00 AM GMT
    AMoonHawk said
    GrumpyDinosaurs saidEvery crush I've had, I always found some "dirt" about them. I think of myself as a private investigator icon_cool.gif. I wish I could teach you everything I know, but for the sake of this post I cannot. I would through throw a party, and invite him. That way you can learn more about him. Oh and if you do through throw a party and invite him, make sure there are other people coming, and invite someone that he and you both know mutually, so it doesn't make things awkward.

    "I find it funny that I can give other people advice, but when it comes to me I got nothing"~GrumpyDinosaurs


    Corrected


    Oh look, the grammar police has arrived.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 07, 2014 7:59 PM GMT
    GrumpyDinosaurs said
    AMoonHawk said
    GrumpyDinosaurs saidEvery crush I've had, I always found some "dirt" about them. I think of myself as a private investigator icon_cool.gif. I wish I could teach you everything I know, but for the sake of this post I cannot. I would through throw a party, and invite him. That way you can learn more about him. Oh and if you do through throw a party and invite him, make sure there are other people coming, and invite someone that he and you both know mutually, so it doesn't make things awkward.

    "I find it funny that I can give other people advice, but when it comes to me I got nothing"~GrumpyDinosaurs


    Corrected


    Oh look, the grammar police has arrived.

    Can't help it - but

    the grammar police have arrived
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4434

    Dec 08, 2014 1:42 AM GMT
    GrumpyDinosaurs said
    AMoonHawk said
    GrumpyDinosaurs saidEvery crush I've had, I always found some "dirt" about them. I think of myself as a private investigator icon_cool.gif. I wish I could teach you everything I know, but for the sake of this post I cannot. I would through throw a party, and invite him. That way you can learn more about him. Oh and if you do through throw a party and invite him, make sure there are other people coming, and invite someone that he and you both know mutually, so it doesn't make things awkward.

    "I find it funny that I can give other people advice, but when it comes to me I got nothing"~GrumpyDinosaurs


    Corrected


    Oh look, the grammar police has arrived.

    Why do some people love to wallow in ignorance?