I go in a FIT OF RAGE at any expression of homophobia

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    Dec 07, 2014 5:45 AM GMT
    Whenever I see any videos on youtube, where any one expresses homophobia, I go in a fit of rage and I am angry for hours.

    Slurs make me go mad.

    Does that happen to you? How do you deal with anger over anti-gay hate?
  • HopefulMuscle

    Posts: 434

    Dec 07, 2014 2:28 PM GMT
    Homophobia is the most ridiculous medical condition invented by men, what the hell is a gay man gonna do besides improve a wardrobe or interior decorate (I know I'm stereotyping but you know where I'm going with this)?
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    Dec 07, 2014 2:41 PM GMT
    Compassion is the key. Homophobia comes from fear and shame. It's been proven that people with homophobia have homosexual tendencies themselves. They often grow up in rural or Conservative areas where homosexuality is frowned upon. On a subconscious level, they feel if they rage against it enough it will make their own urges go away. How many times have we seen law makers create laws that would severely punish gay acts, and yet those very men are later found having the most decadent sex imaginable with another man? So when you see it for what it is, that rage can be transformed into compassion for the person. And compassion heals where as rage is like adding gasoline to the fire.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Dec 07, 2014 3:13 PM GMT
    Well if you get "mad for hours", perhaps some counseling might be the best bet for you... and some understanding about what "homophobia" is to some people.

    It's ignorance.. it is a "lack of understanding" on their part (by choice or by not). It can be a defensive mechanism for some people. What they need is education, not someone who flies into a rage.

    I myself feel sorry for them, much like people who are
    racist or bigoted. They are being held back by their own false perceptions.. but again, getting clued in via education is the best avenue.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Dec 07, 2014 3:33 PM GMT
    I can relate with this completely... I feel the same way about people who support Darrin Wilson and his ilk. I fume about it all day long and my blood boils from knowing how evil and inhuman they are.
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    Dec 07, 2014 3:50 PM GMT
    I have a very unpopular opinion about the word 'faggot'. I wish we would use it more, but in a positive context. Words themselves don't have power, it's the reaction that gives a word power. The meaning could evolve if we wanted it to.

    Let me give you an example:

    In america, 'cunt' is the most offensive word in the english language. People will freak the fuck out on you like you clubbed a baby seal

    In Australia, it's literally used in greeting... G'day, cunt!

    Who's to say it couldn't work for 'faggot'?

    And don't even dare start hiding behind the first letter like "the N-word". That's only going to make it more of an insult to people who want to offend you
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Dec 07, 2014 4:04 PM GMT
    Phoenyx saidI have a very unpopular opinion about the word 'faggot'. I wish we would use it more, but in a positive context. Words themselves don't have power, it's the reaction that gives a word power. The meaning could evolve if we wanted it to.

    Let me give you an example:

    In america, 'cunt' is the most offensive word in the english language. People will freak the fuck out on you like you clubbed a baby seal

    In Australia, it's literally used in greeting... G'day, cunt!

    Who's to say it couldn't work for 'faggot'?

    And don't even dare start hiding behind the first letter like "the N-word". That's only going to make it more of an insult to people who want to offend you

    Australians (or should I say white Australians?) always seem like the biggest hypocrites to me. I've never been there, so maybe it appears different on the interent, but based on my perceptions of online interactions and other documentation, white Aussies seem to always tell others how to live, yet from everything I've heard and read they have a terrible track record of human rights violations, which they seem to shrug off with an air of white supremacy.

    Don't let the truth hurt you on the way out, f-word.
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    Dec 07, 2014 4:08 PM GMT
    Phoenyx saidI have a very unpopular opinion about the word 'faggot'. I wish we would use it more, but in a positive context. Words themselves don't have power, it's the reaction that gives a word power. The meaning could evolve if we wanted it to.


    I'll pass thanks.

    Considering how the use of the N-word as a term of empowerment is controversial among black people, I think if people tried doing the same things with 'faggot' it would lead to a similar scenario. Some people do try to use it in a positive way and it generates the same discussion.

    My approach with that word is that I don't use it, but I also don't let it be a trigger if it's used against me. If it's used against someone else I may speak up. But that's depending on the scenario of course, because sometimes it's not worth it to engage with certain people who are not close to you and will not change their mind about the language they use.

    I've also had some discussions with straight people who insist that because their expressions are not homophobic, they should be allowed to use 'faggot' in a joking sense. I usually question their attachment to the word. Seeing as it's largely used in such a negative way, I ask why they feel they must use that word, and they never have a good reason. But again, I think those kinds of discussions can only be had with people you have somewhat of a rapport with - not a stranger who is shouting profanities in an explicitly negative way.
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    Dec 07, 2014 4:14 PM GMT
    HottJoe said
    Australians (or should I say white Australians?) always seem like the biggest hypocrites to me. I've never been there, so maybe it appears different on the interent, but based on my perceptions of online interactions and other documentation, white Aussies seem to always tell others how to live, yet from everything I've heard and read they have a terrible track record of human rights violations, which they seem to shrug off with an air of white supremacy.


    I would avoid using those kinds of generalizations when you're trying to make an argument in defense of "others" as you put it (I'm assuming you're talking about marginalized groups - those who are not White Australians). Even if you cushion your remarks by saying things like "this is just how I see it on the internet," it doesn't help your case. You're still making a false assumption about an entire group of people.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Dec 07, 2014 4:48 PM GMT
    go_dreaming said
    HottJoe said
    Australians (or should I say white Australians?) always seem like the biggest hypocrites to me. I've never been there, so maybe it appears different on the interent, but based on my perceptions of online interactions and other documentation, white Aussies seem to always tell others how to live, yet from everything I've heard and read they have a terrible track record of human rights violations, which they seem to shrug off with an air of white supremacy.


    I would avoid using those kinds of generalizations when you're trying to make an argument in defense of "others" as you put it (I'm assuming you're talking about marginalized groups - those who are not White Australians). Even if you cushion your remarks by saying things like "this is just how I see it on the internet," it doesn't help your case. You're still making a false assumption about an entire group of people.

    I can't help but wonder if you're saying that because you're white and/or brainwashed. If racism exists at all in Australia then it's on all the people, because it's a social issue, and it must not beignored. We're an overpopulated social species. I think racism is the greatest evil of humanity. We have to see all people as family. I mainly choose my battles at home, in my own country, but it's really glaring to see that it's a problem all over the world. No justice no peace. That's not a war cry. It means in a just and equal world that peace is possible.
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    Dec 07, 2014 5:11 PM GMT
    I have a friend who is gay and black, and he seems to transcend all that bullshit. He doesn't care about either of the slurs that are supposed to offend him, even jokes about them. I know that even if someone wanted to cut him down by calling him a fag or whatever, he wouldn't bat an eye and he'd say something like "thank you for sharing" haha

    go_dreaming, the last thing I'm saying is to make it OK to use it just for the sake of being mean. But if I intend no harm in saying it, why do I have to feel like it's some kind of evil force? It's a WORD. I don't want other people to have so much control over me that a word can change how I feel about myself.

    Hottjoe, did I strike a chord with you? I was making an example on the use of language and you go off on some tangent about ethics in Australia. Thank you for sharing though, I thought it was quite enlightening

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    Dec 07, 2014 5:18 PM GMT
    HottJoe said
    go_dreaming said
    HottJoe said
    Australians (or should I say white Australians?) always seem like the biggest hypocrites to me. I've never been there, so maybe it appears different on the interent, but based on my perceptions of online interactions and other documentation, white Aussies seem to always tell others how to live, yet from everything I've heard and read they have a terrible track record of human rights violations, which they seem to shrug off with an air of white supremacy.


    I would avoid using those kinds of generalizations when you're trying to make an argument in defense of "others" as you put it (I'm assuming you're talking about marginalized groups - those who are not White Australians). Even if you cushion your remarks by saying things like "this is just how I see it on the internet," it doesn't help your case. You're still making a false assumption about an entire group of people.

    I can't help but wonder if you're saying that because you're white and/or brainwashed. If racism exists at all in Australia then it's on all the people, because it's a social issue, and it must not beignored. We're an overpopulated social species. I think racism is the greatest evil of humanity. We have to see all people as family. I mainly choose my battles at home, in my own country, but it's really glaring to see that it's a problem all over the world. No justice no peace. That's not a war cry. It means in a just and equal world that peace is possible.


    Unlike you, I HAVE been to Australia and not just to it, but through it, from Brisbane to Sydney and Melbourne, and its small towns and outback in between, actually staying and talking with the people I met along the way, formally at professional meetings and informally in everyday - and night - life. As usual, you are as wrong about them as you are about most "white people."

    But, we do agree that "no justice, no peace" is not a war cry. It's just a tiresome cliche, as it has been ever since it was first parroted decades ago.
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    Dec 07, 2014 5:42 PM GMT
    HottJoe said
    I can't help but wonder if you're saying that because you're white and/or brainwashed. If racism exists at all in Australia then it's on all the people, because it's a social issue, and it must not beignored. We're an overpopulated social species. I think racism is the greatest evil of humanity. We have to see all people as family. I mainly choose my battles at home, in my own country, but it's really glaring to see that it's a problem all over the world. No justice no peace. That's not a war cry. It means in a just and equal world that peace is possible.


    I'm not sure I'm following you by saying that I'm brainwashed. About what? What I'm saying to you is that if you're making a point about racism, starting off with a negative personal observation, one that you believe speaks for an entire population of Australians, makes you look fairly ignorant.

    HottJoe said...Everything I've heard and read they have a terrible track record of human rights violations, which they seem to shrug off with an air of white supremacy.


    Couldn't the same be said about America? Or the UK? Or several other western nations? Couldn't you take that sentence structure and replace a few words to make a sentence that would be more visibly considered as racist? For example:

    "Everything I've heard and read [about the black people in Ferguson is that] they have a terrible track record of [obeying the law], which they seem to shrug off with an air of [black entitlement]."

    Obviously an arrogant statement, likely to offend people if I were saying it seriously (which, just to be perfectly clear, is 100% not my genuine opinion and I am only using it to illustrate a point). But it seems it's easier to see that statement as racist since it's towards a minority group rather than a majority group with power.

    Anyway, this is all a little off topic. As far as the OP going into a fit of rage over homophobia, that's probably not a good idea, and also not healthy. It's natural for it to upset you, but perhaps you need some counseling to control your emotions.
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    Dec 07, 2014 5:48 PM GMT
    go_dreaming said
    HottJoe said
    I can't help but wonder if you're saying that because you're white and/or brainwashed. If racism exists at all in Australia then it's on all the people, because it's a social issue, and it must not beignored. We're an overpopulated social species. I think racism is the greatest evil of humanity. We have to see all people as family. I mainly choose my battles at home, in my own country, but it's really glaring to see that it's a problem all over the world. No justice no peace. That's not a war cry. It means in a just and equal world that peace is possible.


    I'm not sure I'm following you by saying that I'm brainwashed. About what? What I'm saying to you is that if you're making a point about racism, starting off with a negative personal observation, one that you believe speaks for an entire population of Australians, makes you look fairly ignorant.

    HottJoe said...Everything I've heard and read they have a terrible track record of human rights violations, which they seem to shrug off with an air of white supremacy.


    Couldn't the same be said about America? Or the UK? Or several other western nations? Couldn't you take that sentence structure and replace a few words to make a sentence that would be more visibly considered as racist? For example:

    "Everything I've heard and read [about the black people in Ferguson is that] they have a terrible track record of [obeying the law], which they seem to shrug off with an air of [black entitlement]."

    Obviously an arrogant statement, likely to offend people if I were saying it seriously (which, just to be perfectly clear, is 100% not my genuine opinion and I am only using it to illustrate a point). But it seems it's easier to see that statement as racist since it's towards a minority group rather than a majority group with power.

    Anyway, this is all a little off topic. As far as the OP going into a fit of rage over homophobia, that's probably not a good idea, and also not healthy. It's natural for it to upset you, but perhaps you need some counseling to control your emotions.


    You got that right!
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    Dec 07, 2014 5:52 PM GMT
    Phoenyx saidgo_dreaming, the last thing I'm saying is to make it OK to use it just for the sake of being mean. But if I intend no harm in saying it, why do I have to feel like it's some kind of evil force? It's a WORD. I don't want other people to have so much control over me that a word can change how I feel about myself.


    The only person who decides if that word has power over you is yourself. If you don't allow yourself to get triggered than there is nothing that the person who used it can do, no matter positively or negatively. But as far as someone insisting that they should be allowed to use that word regardless of their intentions is questionable to me, which is all I was trying to say. Like if someone were to introduce another person as "John the fag" because John is gay and they have a good rapport with each other. If the use of the word was historically cruel, why keep it? Why not find a more original way of introducing someone?

    And part of the reason why I feel this way is because of how the N-word is viewed today. Although some black people have turned it into an empowering word, it hasn't stopped it from being used by non-black people in a cruel way. Michael Richards, anyone?
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Dec 07, 2014 5:53 PM GMT
    go_dreaming said
    HottJoe said
    I can't help but wonder if you're saying that because you're white and/or brainwashed. If racism exists at all in Australia then it's on all the people, because it's a social issue, and it must not beignored. We're an overpopulated social species. I think racism is the greatest evil of humanity. We have to see all people as family. I mainly choose my battles at home, in my own country, but it's really glaring to see that it's a problem all over the world. No justice no peace. That's not a war cry. It means in a just and equal world that peace is possible.


    I'm not sure I'm following you by saying that I'm brainwashed. About what? What I'm saying to you is that if you're making a point about racism, starting off with a negative personal observation, one that you believe speaks for an entire population of Australians, makes you look fairly ignorant.

    HottJoe said...Everything I've heard and read they have a terrible track record of human rights violations, which they seem to shrug off with an air of white supremacy.


    Couldn't the same be said about America? Or the UK? Or several other western nations? Couldn't you take that sentence structure and replace a few words to make a sentence that would be more visibly considered as racist? For example:

    "Everything I've heard and read [about the black people in Ferguson is that] they have a terrible track record of [obeying the law], which they seem to shrug off with an air of [black entitlement]."

    Obviously an arrogant statement, likely to offend people if I were saying it seriously (which, just to be perfectly clear, is 100% not my genuine opinion and I am only using it to illustrate a point). But it seems it's easier to see that statement as racist since it's towards a minority group rather than a majority group with power.

    Anyway, this is all a little off topic. As far as the OP going into a fit of rage over homophobia, that's probably not a good idea, and also not healthy. It's natural for it to upset you, but perhaps you need some counseling to control your emotions.

    Yes, that's exactly right, and that's why I stopped him when he asked if he could use the n-word.

    Just because lily white gay boys feel they have overcome homophobia and want to make the word faggot look cute, does not justify their racism.

    Racism is leads to genocide and war. It's not cute. Neither is calling yourself a faggot, btw.
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    Dec 07, 2014 5:54 PM GMT
    Phoenyx saidI have a very unpopular opinion about the word 'faggot'. I wish we would use it more, but in a positive context. Words themselves don't have power, it's the reaction that gives a word power. The meaning could evolve if we wanted it to.

    Let me give you an example:

    In america, 'cunt' is the most offensive word in the english language. People will freak the fuck out on you like you clubbed a baby seal

    In Australia, it's literally used in greeting... G'day, cunt!

    Who's to say it couldn't work for 'faggot'?

    And don't even dare start hiding behind the first letter like "the N-word". That's only going to make it more of an insult to people who want to offend you



    I agree with you 100% but you'll never get this PC crowd to understand the psychology behind this. My best friend and I call each other faggot pretty much daily (and he's straight too.) It's pretty funny actually because we go play pool a lot at this gay bar down the street and we sometimes will call each other faggot when we miss a shot and sometimes we get bizarre looks. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Dec 07, 2014 6:18 PM GMT
    While I too am upset by homophobia....I find that I am truly disturbed by ANY display of injustice, bigotry, discrimination, marginalization, etc.
    I find it to be completely repugnant to then use this as a weapon, hammer, ball-bat, etc to fan a political, religious, nationalistic, cultural justification for the offenses. This said....sometimes violence and wars are the correct response in the big picture.
    Personally, I have always tried to believe that I want to treat others the way I want to be treated. Plain and simple. Empathy and understanding, education and an open mind.
    I understand that there will ALWAYS be 3 sides to any debate...yours, mine and the truth. I always try to put myself in the place of each of the sides involved to get their perspective, from outside of "my box" as much as possible. Many times the view of "just-ness" is a direct function of your distance and involvement, along with the multiple facts and history setting the stage.
    In many places I can see and understand the issues Native people of any area have with the way their one-time lands had been taken. I can understand where and why certain stereotypes exist....not as a justification....simply acknowledgement.
    The sword is sharp and it cuts in many ways when viewed from the context of history, current events, resources available, etc. ...then you mix in religions, politics, culture and now we have a problem!
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Dec 07, 2014 6:22 PM GMT
    Phoenyx saidI have a friend who is gay and black, and he seems to transcend all that bullshit. He doesn't care about either of the slurs that are supposed to offend him, even jokes about them. I know that even if someone wanted to cut him down by calling him a fag or whatever, he wouldn't bat an eye and he'd say something like "thank you for sharing" haha

    go_dreaming, the last thing I'm saying is to make it OK to use it just for the sake of being mean. But if I intend no harm in saying it, why do I have to feel like it's some kind of evil force? It's a WORD. I don't want other people to have so much control over me that a word can change how I feel about myself.

    Hottjoe, did I strike a chord with you? I was making an example on the use of language and you go off on some tangent about ethics in Australia. Thank you for sharing though, I thought it was quite enlightening


    Translation: I have a friend who is white who says it's okay to use the n word because he has a friend who is black. All you need is one black friend and you are allowed to be racist.
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    Dec 07, 2014 6:26 PM GMT
    HottJoe said
    go_dreaming said
    HottJoe said
    I can't help but wonder if you're saying that because you're white and/or brainwashed. If racism exists at all in Australia then it's on all the people, because it's a social issue, and it must not beignored. We're an overpopulated social species. I think racism is the greatest evil of humanity. We have to see all people as family. I mainly choose my battles at home, in my own country, but it's really glaring to see that it's a problem all over the world. No justice no peace. That's not a war cry. It means in a just and equal world that peace is possible.


    I'm not sure I'm following you by saying that I'm brainwashed. About what? What I'm saying to you is that if you're making a point about racism, starting off with a negative personal observation, one that you believe speaks for an entire population of Australians, makes you look fairly ignorant.

    HottJoe said...Everything I've heard and read they have a terrible track record of human rights violations, which they seem to shrug off with an air of white supremacy.


    Couldn't the same be said about America? Or the UK? Or several other western nations? Couldn't you take that sentence structure and replace a few words to make a sentence that would be more visibly considered as racist? For example:

    "Everything I've heard and read [about the black people in Ferguson is that] they have a terrible track record of [obeying the law], which they seem to shrug off with an air of [black entitlement]."

    Obviously an arrogant statement, likely to offend people if I were saying it seriously (which, just to be perfectly clear, is 100% not my genuine opinion and I am only using it to illustrate a point). But it seems it's easier to see that statement as racist since it's towards a minority group rather than a majority group with power.

    Anyway, this is all a little off topic. As far as the OP going into a fit of rage over homophobia, that's probably not a good idea, and also not healthy. It's natural for it to upset you, but perhaps you need some counseling to control your emotions.

    Yes, that's exactly right, and that's why I stopped him when he asked if he could use the n-word.

    Just because lily white gay boys feel they have overcome homophobia and want to make the word faggot look cute, does not justify their racism.

    Racism is leads to genocide and war. It's not cute. Neither is calling yourself a faggot, btw.


    I'll second that. Thanks, HottJoe.
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    Dec 07, 2014 7:04 PM GMT
    It is of course difficult to see ignorant people exhibiting their ignorant behavior, but I would rather see them do it on YouTube and make a fool of themselves, than to not express it in a safe way, and allow their prejudice to build up even more to the point where they do something reckless,illegal and/or homicidal. Many of these people have been indoctrinated very intensely and even though it's their fault for choosing ignorance, it is not their fault that others chose to teach them it, and that this ignorance exists in the first place (you can blame the shadow side of God for that).

    Everybody pays a price for ignorant and untrue objective beliefs; it is very helpful to keep this in mind when you feel yourself growing susceptible to the negativity being expressed by others. Simply focus on how you radiate a more positive presence than others when you embody knowledge that encompasses more understanding of different lifestyles and mentalities.

    Your rage for ignorant behavior is actually responsible for fueling some of it;you are giving this person an opposition to continue fighting against, which is what many ignorant people are sub consciously desiring. When you accept people regardless of their beliefs they feel less of a desire to hold on to weak ones out of fear or protection.
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    Dec 07, 2014 7:34 PM GMT
    all these are bad
    wiki (List of phobias)

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_phobias
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    Dec 07, 2014 7:49 PM GMT
    Sounds like you're prone to think of yourself as victimized and then the slurs trigger all of your resentment, most of which is probably for choices you made. Try not to give so much power to strangers and also take responsibility for your own life choices. This will help you develop a thicker skin.
  • FRE0

    Posts: 4862

    Dec 07, 2014 8:55 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan saidWell if you get "mad for hours", perhaps some counseling might be the best bet for you... and some understanding about what "homophobia" is to some people.

    It's ignorance.. it is a "lack of understanding" on their part (by choice or by not). It can be a defensive mechanism for some people. What they need is education, not someone who flies into a rage.

    I myself feel sorry for them, much like people who are
    racist or bigoted. They are being held back by their own false perceptions.. but again, getting clued in via education is the best avenue.


    To an extent I agree with you. However, the ignorance to which you refer is voluntary or chosen ignorance, at least for adults, although it can be excused for people who have not reached the age of reason. Therefore, there is no excuse for it for adults.

    Unfortunately, many people screen out all information that does not conform to what they already believe. That creates all sorts of problems, including racism, homophobia, etc. Fair minded adults make a point of getting information from various sources and will read opinions that disagree with their own.

    Flying into a rage for hours is basically destructive. Being angry or upset for a while is completely understandable and may lead to constructive responses, but that is different from being angry for hours.
  • LutheranGuy

    Posts: 30

    Dec 08, 2014 12:03 AM GMT
    There will always be ignorant people. It's a reality of life.