Here is why I am 'desperate' for love!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 08, 2014 7:10 AM GMT
    I wanted to share my story here because I have no one to talk to.

    I was born and raised in a country with a lot of homophobia. I was bullied in school because other kids thought that I was not 'manly enough'. I withdrew from all social life and by the time I came out of school, I had no friends. When I went to college, I was bullied again and again I withdrew. I used to fear mocking by people so much that I used to be locked in my room for days and used to go without food.

    After coming out of college, I finally mustered the courage to meet other gay guys. I had always thought that one day, I am going to meet this guy who is going to love me and erase all the scars of the past. I made an online dating profile. When I first fell in love with a guy, it felt blissful. But soon I realized that he is trying to get rid of me and even after he hit me multiple times, I forgave him and continued to love him. One day, he dumped me over chat and asked me to move out of his home before he returns home from his vacation.

    I have so many mental health issues. And yet, I came all the way from my home country to USA to study and settle here. The mental stress has taken a toll on my physical health. I look like a diseased person. And no one wants me. And So, i continue to walk alone and be alone and I have no one to share my feelings with. And when I see some of you guys on RJ, I wish that i could get a boyfriend like one of you. I know that no one wants me. But I want to know how it feels to be loved. I want to explore life. I have spent my entire life being depressed and lonely. And that is the reason I am 'desperate' for love.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 08, 2014 8:02 AM GMT
    Posting as a hidden/deleted member, without any profile will probably not get you any response.
  • secondstartot...

    Posts: 1315

    Dec 09, 2014 4:40 PM GMT
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2014 9:13 AM GMT
    Go on the internet and google "motivation for low self esteem and depression" there is a lot of advice on there that I found usefull icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2014 7:05 PM GMT
    If you've already had one bad relationship then don't be in a hurry to get in a new relationship because it may end up being just as bad. Focus on your career instead and fingers crossed you will meet someone when you're not expecting too.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4913

    Dec 10, 2014 7:26 PM GMT
    Sad tale but no tears here. This country wasn't much better just a few years ago. We all survived. Sounds like you've allowed yourself to be a victim all your life and done nothing to turn things around except the move. Do you have a career? A car? An apartment? If you do, you have the resources to get mental health help. And while you're at it, get some physical health, too. Join a gym and don't quit going after a month. Or a year. And learn to eat right if you're not now, which I doubt. You can live or die, happy or unhappy. Nothing will change if you don't grab yourself by the balls and do something to make it happen.