Is Virginity A Turnoff?

  • Jav1993

    Posts: 45

    Dec 14, 2014 1:33 PM GMT
    Unlike most gay guys where I'm at, I'm looking for a relationship and dates. Whereas everyone else is looking to hookup. Thus, I'm still a virgin and I'm turning 22 next month. I wanted my first time to be special. When I tell guys I'm a virgin, they either A. Don't believe me B. Run for the hills haha. So if someone you liked said he was a virgin, would that be a turn off?
  • AnonymousNYC

    Posts: 60

    Dec 14, 2014 1:47 PM GMT
    Ur sexy hit me up next time ur in NY
  • Jav1993

    Posts: 45

    Dec 14, 2014 2:00 PM GMT
    Hahahaha thanks icon_biggrin.gif I'll take that as a no to my question hahahahaha
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    Dec 14, 2014 2:35 PM GMT
    If I'm only interested sexually, then yea it's a turn off for me because I know they probably wont put out, or if they want to play they will have a lot of issues/nerves etc, and above that they wont be very good.

    If im interested in them as a person though it probably wouldn't matter. I'd be patient with the right guy since getting to know them as a person would be more important.

    My first time wasn't anything too special. I had waited too long for the perfect situation and just decided to go for it. I'm glad i didn't keep waiting, because I still haven't had the perfect situation, but would have missed out on a lot of fun and hot guys while waiting for it!
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    Dec 14, 2014 2:58 PM GMT
    I was a virgin until I was 19. That was my choice and I am glad I waited until I was ready to have sex. There is more to it than just sticking your penis inside another human, it's an emotional and spiritual connection. Bravo for sticking to your guns.
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    Dec 14, 2014 3:10 PM GMT
    Jav1993 saidUnlike most gay guys where I'm at, I'm looking for a relationship and dates. Whereas everyone else is looking to hookup. Thus, I'm still a virgin and I'm turning 22 next month. I wanted my first time to be special. When I tell guys I'm a virgin, they either A. Don't believe me B. Run for the hills haha. So if someone you liked said he was a virgin, would that be a turn off?


    Iknow a virgin at 36. Well hes had oral sex so I don't know if he's still a virgin lol. That should be a new thread.
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    Dec 14, 2014 3:11 PM GMT
    God I hope not :p
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    Dec 14, 2014 3:20 PM GMT
    I'm in the same boat and I'm 24. I've gotten oral one time, but like someone mentioned above, I'm not sure if that really counts as losing your virginity lol (I'd probably say no).

    For me, a lot of it has to do with being comfortable with the person and also being attracted to them. Sadly, I've yet to meet anyone who meets those needs for me. Although at 24, I feel some sort of pressure to "just do it already" so I'm constantly looking on hookup apps/sites but I've yet to meet anyone on there either aside from that one oral encounter. I'm not going to do it with just anybody. There has to be some type of attraction there.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Dec 14, 2014 3:42 PM GMT
    My perception is this... if you are in your early 20's and still a virgin with guys, it can be a very positive thing from a physical standpoint.

    As you get a little older, it can be a less attractive.
    I think others may wonder why you are still a virgin at your age, especially if one is considered attractive. Also from a relationship perspective, it isn't as hot. Many guys who get into sex for the first time may want to make the most out of it and aren't really available for serious dating or a relationship. Physical priorities may be different.
    There can be exceptions, but I think many would agree.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Dec 14, 2014 4:35 PM GMT
    Hold tight to your virgin status..Give it to a guy who will see how great a gift it was.
  • Jav1993

    Posts: 45

    Dec 14, 2014 4:37 PM GMT
    Yeah I'm starting to get to that point where I'm just like SOMEONE THROW ME ON THE BED NOW AND TAKE IT! It's starting to feel like a burden. But the second I do, I see a hot gay couple and think "If I just hold out, that could be me". My thing is, I know whoever I have sex with, I'm gonna want to see them again. So if its a quick hookup, i'll be heartbroken after.
  • Jav1993

    Posts: 45

    Dec 14, 2014 4:40 PM GMT
    I was just watching a show and the guy goes "I was a late bloomer. I didn't lose my virginity till I was 20". All the other actors gasped. Everyone in the room I was in INSTANTLY turned to me since I'm about to be 22 hahhahaha cml
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    Dec 14, 2014 4:44 PM GMT
    Jav1993 saidYeah I'm starting to get to that point where I'm just like SOMEONE THROW ME ON THE BED NOW AND TAKE IT! It's starting to feel like a burden. But the second I do, I see a hot gay couple and think "If I just hold out, that could be me". My thing is, I know whoever I have sex with, I'm gonna want to see them again. So if its a quick hookup, i'll be heartbroken after.

    Why does no longer being a virgin mean you can't be part of a "hot gay couple" later? I think you have some odd preconceived ideas
  • Jav1993

    Posts: 45

    Dec 14, 2014 4:49 PM GMT
    I mean I want to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. Not to a random guy.
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    Dec 14, 2014 5:05 PM GMT
    So if you were in a relationship with a guy you really liked, how long would you wait? For oral? for intercourse?

    I wonder how long most guys would wait in a relationship before a virgin was ready
  • conservativej...

    Posts: 2465

    Dec 14, 2014 7:17 PM GMT
    It can be awkward.

    At my age I find young guys who have remained as you say "a virgin" to be looking for more than the typical gay hookup, not to imply that is always the case, but generally so. This seems to be more common to me in the U.S. versus Europe, in my humble opinion because life can be fairly financially limiting for young twenties in the U.S.

    I assume you are not excluding young twenty-somethings who are not virgins? Gay passion presents opportunities at an early age. :-)

  • Jav1993

    Posts: 45

    Dec 14, 2014 7:20 PM GMT
    I think I'd wait...probably a month. I'm in college and i know that theres a 583% chance I aint marrying the guy. I just don't want to lose it to someone whose last name and favorite color I don't know. I just know that if I lost it to someone on say Grindr, I'd cry forever. And I also see it as, "I waited this long, so it's going to someone incredibly special."

  • ASHDOD

    Posts: 1057

    Dec 14, 2014 8:00 PM GMT
    if you are over 25 ,yes.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 14, 2014 8:33 PM GMT
    Not really depends on the guy, it means he's not a hoe...yet Lol. I like cute virgin guys, but if he's too uptight about sex, then it's a turn off. icon_lol.gif
  • BIG_N_TALL

    Posts: 2190

    Dec 14, 2014 8:39 PM GMT
    No, it is not a turn off to me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 14, 2014 8:54 PM GMT
    You will know when the time is right. Don't let anyone pressure you in losing your virginity. I waited well beyond I was 40+ Sadly, I lost it to guys who only wanted sex. It was at first great, but then one realizes that hookups are simply that "someone else using you to satisfy THEIR own sexual pleasures" not that I didn't enjoy it, but there is a sense of "is this it?" came to my mind and I wanted more: a relationship, not just some random hookup. Having said that, there are physiological needs that must be met; we are sexual human beings. It is a matter of suppressing those sexual desires for that person that you want to have a deeper relationship with...it is not easy. Just follow your heart, and not your head. You know which head I am referring to? Best regards...
  • FRE0

    Posts: 4865

    Dec 14, 2014 8:55 PM GMT
    Jav1993 saidUnlike most gay guys where I'm at, I'm looking for a relationship and dates. Whereas everyone else is looking to hookup. Thus, I'm still a virgin and I'm turning 22 next month. I wanted my first time to be special. When I tell guys I'm a virgin, they either A. Don't believe me B. Run for the hills haha. So if someone you liked said he was a virgin, would that be a turn off?


    There is nothing wrong with being a virgin. If you can hold out until you find a suitable partner, good for you.
  • FRE0

    Posts: 4865

    Dec 14, 2014 8:58 PM GMT
    canadian_stud said
    Jav1993 saidUnlike most gay guys where I'm at, I'm looking for a relationship and dates. Whereas everyone else is looking to hookup. Thus, I'm still a virgin and I'm turning 22 next month. I wanted my first time to be special. When I tell guys I'm a virgin, they either A. Don't believe me B. Run for the hills haha. So if someone you liked said he was a virgin, would that be a turn off?


    Iknow a virgin at 36. Well hes had oral sex so I don't know if he's still a virgin lol. That should be a new thread.


    Oral sex is sex, so if he's had oral sex, he is not a virgin. Also, many gay men do not want to have anything to do with anal sex. Until the late 1970s or so, anal sex was not popular.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 14, 2014 9:08 PM GMT
    It's not a turn-off to me, but be aware that many if not most gay men are highly sexually driven - there's a very good chance that your eventual Mr. Right may want to have sex within the first couple dates. And if you've never done it before, you won't really be very skillful...and that might send him packing.
  • cometbro

    Posts: 27

    Dec 14, 2014 9:10 PM GMT
    I like the virginity thing, it makes it mean more to me, the guy I gave my virginity to was amazing and I wish I was still with him. Make it special.