When someone owes you money

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 14, 2014 11:20 PM GMT
    What's the best way to ask for it back without being pushy? If I ask in a OTT way I might not get it back or might take longer to receive it.
  • carew28

    Posts: 658

    Dec 14, 2014 11:25 PM GMT
    I don't think there's any easy way to ask someone to pay you back the money that they owe you. If the person you lent it to is responsible, they really ought to pay it back without being asked, or if they don't have it available, at least let you know that they're trying.

    If you've lent money to someone, and they aren't considerate enough to let you know that they're going to pay you back as soon as they're able, you just have to bite the bullet, and ask them to pay you back. You probably need it as much as they do, and they should realize this. Just do the best you can not to sound pushy. Let them know that you really need the money to pay your bills.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 14, 2014 11:40 PM GMT
    carew28 saidI don't think there's any easy way to ask someone to pay you back the money that they owe you. If the person you lent it to is responsible, they really ought to pay it back without being asked, or if they don't have it available, at least let you know that they're trying.

    If you've lent money to someone, and they aren't considerate enough to let you know that they're going to pay you back as soon as they're able, you just have to bite the bullet, and ask them to pay you back. You probably need it as much as they do, and they should realize this. Just do the best you can not to sound pushy. Let them know that you really need the money to pay your bills.


    Well I would never lend money I use for bills etc but I did give a huge chunk of cash I wanted to use for Christmas presents. I gave £500 in total. I gave him money because he was at my house and he was keeping an eye out on me because I was ill. The plan was he was going to go back to his when he was ok to leave me and get his money and pay me back. Eventually he let it slip though that he spiked me and was staying at mine out of guilt because I had a bad reaction. Obviously I do not want to be friends with a person like that but I want to keep him sweet to get my money back and then never speak to him again.

    I'm wondering if I should just give up though :/
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 15, 2014 12:00 AM GMT
    Bonaparts saidIf you ever give money to someone else, always ask for that person to write down on a piece of paper that he borrows money from you with date and signature and the recordable way he will pay you back so you can go to police and have proof that he owes you money


    Now you are his bitch in a way


    No because I would sooner forget about the money than become part of each others lives and be any bodies bitch. Still how should I approach actually asking about it. When I have asked a couple of times he's got very defensive and aggravated :/
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 15, 2014 12:02 AM GMT
    There is an old saying, "Never a lender or a borrower be"

    I don't really follow that way of thinking. I like helping friends out when they're in need. It is good to help out appreciative, honest, responsible people. I just have them sign a Promissory Note with a definite payment plan. I let them know the payments are due and expected on the first of the month and LATE after the 5th. This works for me. I learned it from my grandfather. He loaned me all the tuition for college, with the same kind or note & payment plan. I made it my passion to pay him back on time - every month. I didn't want to disappoint him & make him sorry he loaned me all that money. In 5 years, I was paid off.

    If you haven't done a note or discussed a definite payment plan at this point, all you can do is approach the guy and try to set up a payment plan. If he's decent at all, he'll come around. If he won't pay you at all, dismiss him from your life. Good riddance.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 15, 2014 12:19 AM GMT
    Informal lending to friends... never give them more than you're ready to lose. Because you probably will lose it.

    For a business contract, send out invoices on the first of the month. Add in a hefty late fee and interest charges. (This was all in the boilerplate on your agreement, wasn't it?) After 90 days, send it to the collection agency. (BTW, have a "cost of collections" clause in the boilerplate too.) You might not get much back at that point, but it's better than nothing.

    BTW, one of my regular clients is one of the "big four" credit card companies. They never, ever, ever pay their bills on time. They usually just ignore the late fees and interest, too. icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 15, 2014 12:26 AM GMT
    Jockbod48 saidThere is an old saying, "Never a lender or a borrower be"

    I don't really follow that way of thinking. I like helping friends out when they're in need. It is good to help out appreciative, honest, responsible people. I just have them sign a Promissory Note with a definite payment plan. I let them know the payments are due and expected on the first of the month and LATE after the 5th. This works for me. I learned it from my grandfather. He loaned me all the tuition for college, with the same kind or note & payment plan. I made it my passion to pay him back on time - every month. I didn't want to disappoint him & make him sorry he loaned me all that money. In 5 years, I was paid off.

    If you haven't done a note or discussed a definite payment plan at this point, all you can do is approach the guy and try to set up a payment plan. If he's decent at all, he'll come around. If he won't pay you at all, dismiss him from your life. Good riddance.


    I wasn't of sound mind when I made the deal because I was ill, although later I found out I was on some kind of drug come down after he spiked my drink. I transferred money online after he pretty much shoved the laptop under my nose on the understanding I would get it back in a few days (or as soon as he got back to his house) but it's not in writing.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 15, 2014 2:10 AM GMT
    DannyW said
    carew28 saidI don't think there's any easy way to ask someone to pay you back the money that they owe you. If the person you lent it to is responsible, they really ought to pay it back without being asked, or if they don't have it available, at least let you know that they're trying.

    If you've lent money to someone, and they aren't considerate enough to let you know that they're going to pay you back as soon as they're able, you just have to bite the bullet, and ask them to pay you back. You probably need it as much as they do, and they should realize this. Just do the best you can not to sound pushy. Let them know that you really need the money to pay your bills.


    Well I would never lend money I use for bills etc but I did give a huge chunk of cash I wanted to use for Christmas presents. I gave £500 in total. I gave him money because he was at my house and he was keeping an eye out on me because I was ill. The plan was he was going to go back to his when he was ok to leave me and get his money and pay me back. Eventually he let it slip though that he spiked me and was staying at mine out of guilt because I had a bad reaction. Obviously I do not want to be friends with a person like that but I want to keep him sweet to get my money back and then never speak to him again.

    I'm wondering if I should just give up though :/

    Forget it. You're not going to get it back.
  • ThatSwimmerGu...

    Posts: 3755

    Dec 15, 2014 2:33 AM GMT
    Tell them to go fuck themselves.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 15, 2014 3:40 AM GMT
    Don't be embarrassed to ask for YOUR money back! This person is taking advantage of you. The lack of consideration from this person has already ruined the situation.

    I had a friend that recklessly spent a 180 000 insurance settlement and then came sobbing to me repeatedly for money. I was only 22 and lent her the 2000 to stop foreclosure on the house. She never paid it back while I watched her purchase gifts for her family and go on vacation.

    I sued the bitch! Still not a dime returned to me.

    Public humiliation worked best. A month before Christmas, mailed all of her friends and family a letter explaining the situation and suggested that they give her cash for Christmas to help her settle the debt and to make the cheques in my name.

    Within 5 days, I received all my money.

    I NEVER loan money. I work 60-80hr/wk but doesn't make me responsible to support sloths.
  • MarvelBoy23

    Posts: 279

    Dec 15, 2014 6:51 PM GMT
    My dad always said if I lent someone money, and didn't get it back, it was probably worth the cost!


    I would cut my losses if I were you. You may inadvertently stir something up that doesn't need to be stirred. Especially after he slipped you something. You never know what may be next. Better to be safe than sorry!
  • Kinneticbrian

    Posts: 230

    Dec 15, 2014 7:17 PM GMT
    I come at this from a very unusual angle, in that I won't ever loan money I'm not financially prepared to lose. I basically tell someone that I am giving them the money with no expectation that they'll pay me back. If they choose to do so, that's fine, if not, consider it a gift. This works for me because I seldom lend money and because it also keeps the money second in importance to the other people in my life.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 15, 2014 7:58 PM GMT
    There is an easy way to lend money to a mate ..
    Do it with a note (contract), i have done it many times without any problem , if someone hesitate to sign the note , there is a good chance (good friend or not ) that his/she intention to pay you back ,are quite on the light side and that he/she will find excuses to not pay you back .icon_sad.gif
  • davfit

    Posts: 309

    Dec 15, 2014 8:12 PM GMT
    when I have given Money I never expect it to be returned ..nice if they do.. but I've learned not to expect it ..even from very good friends..most have ,some have not.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 15, 2014 8:28 PM GMT
    DannyW said
    Jockbod48 saidThere is an old saying, "Never a lender or a borrower be"

    I don't really follow that way of thinking. I like helping friends out when they're in need. It is good to help out appreciative, honest, responsible people. I just have them sign a Promissory Note with a definite payment plan. I let them know the payments are due and expected on the first of the month and LATE after the 5th. This works for me. I learned it from my grandfather. He loaned me all the tuition for college, with the same kind or note & payment plan. I made it my passion to pay him back on time - every month. I didn't want to disappoint him & make him sorry he loaned me all that money. In 5 years, I was paid off.

    If you haven't done a note or discussed a definite payment plan at this point, all you can do is approach the guy and try to set up a payment plan. If he's decent at all, he'll come around. If he won't pay you at all, dismiss him from your life. Good riddance.


    I wasn't of sound mind when I made the deal because I was ill, although later I found out I was on some kind of drug come down after he spiked my drink. I transferred money online after he pretty much shoved the laptop under my nose on the understanding I would get it back in a few days (or as soon as he got back to his house) but it's not in writing.


    Invite him over to your place. Secretly record your conversation and get him to admit to drugging you. Then tell him that you have his taped confession and that you will be going to the police unless he gives you your money back. Have another good friend in hiding to corroborate his confession.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 15, 2014 8:52 PM GMT
    davfit saidwhen I have given Money I never expect it to be returned ..nice if they do.. but I've learned not to expect it ..even from very good friends..most have ,some have not.


    Pretty much that^^^

    Don't loan more than you're willing to give. It may be the same thing in the end.

    If a "loan" of $100 will destroy a friendship if not paid back, right or wrong, it wasn't worth it. $20 isn't worth arguing about. $500, I'd need a contract! Simply because I can't afford to give it unless an absolutely dire need.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Dec 15, 2014 8:55 PM GMT
    Never loan it out in the first place. If you do, you have to accept the consequences of issues as a part of the process.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 15, 2014 9:06 PM GMT
    I have learned when lending money to a family member or friend, do not expect to get it back. So if you want to lend to a friend, consider it an interest free gift to them. After all, the saying is true, what comes around goes around. If they don't have the decency to pay you back, then it always comes back to bite them in the end. Once you have been bitten, you will learn that lesson and move on. However, I have to give credit to guys who have the balls to ask for money and have no shame in asking for it. Personally, I could not see myself doing it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 15, 2014 9:30 PM GMT
    There's an old saying: Never lend a friend more money than you can afford never to see again.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 15, 2014 9:35 PM GMT
    kalikomua saidThere's an old saying: Never lend a friend more money than you can afford never to see again.


    He wasn't a friend it was our first meeting. I fully expect I won't see any of the money again so I'm giving up. I'm just going to learn not to be so dumb in future icon_rolleyes.gif
  • tj85016

    Posts: 4123

    Dec 16, 2014 12:40 AM GMT
    baseball bat to the knees works icon_lol.gif
  • buddycat

    Posts: 1874

    Dec 16, 2014 12:47 AM GMT
    With a poem:

    Bitch you better got my money,
    not none, not some, but all my cash.
    Bitch you better got my money,
    or I will bust you in your ass.

    from: "I'm Gonna Get You Sucka".
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 16, 2014 3:22 AM GMT
    Say "Give me my fucking money back NOW".
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 16, 2014 10:30 AM GMT
    Kinneticbrian saidI come at this from a very unusual angle, in that I won't ever loan money I'm not financially prepared to lose. I basically tell someone that I am giving them the money with no expectation that they'll pay me back. If they choose to do so, that's fine, if not, consider it a gift. This works for me because I seldom lend money and because it also keeps the money second in importance to the other people in my life.


    +1

    I never loan money to anyone. If I am asked to borrow money, I make the decision purely on IF I can give them the money. There is never an expectation to receive the money back.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 16, 2014 1:50 PM GMT
    One time I mailed someone a post card (yes, through the post office, not email) every week politely asking to be repaid, and stating the remaining balance. It worked. I got the money. At the time I was an independent student struggling and living in squalor, so I really did need every penny. If I did not need the money maybe I would not have pursued it.