Who was the first person you told you were gay and at what age

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    Mar 29, 2007 10:48 PM GMT
    My mother I was 28
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    Mar 29, 2007 11:38 PM GMT
    The first person I ever told was a bisexual swinger named April. I was 20. I figured if anyone was safe to tell, she was! She was my coworker and there was this guy that I thought was sooo hot I couldn't hold it in any longer. I told her my feelings and the rest has been history. Now, most of the people that I see on a regular basis know and that's good enough for me!
  • OptimusMatt

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    Mar 29, 2007 11:39 PM GMT
    Good question.
    I told a girl named Enis, when I was 16 in grade 10. We were in a drama exploration workshop thing, and...I totally came out to her. But I was so incredibly ashamed I buried it in the back of my mind and went back to being 'straight' for a couple more years.
    Strange that I remember it so vividly.
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    Mar 29, 2007 11:55 PM GMT
    It was my priest (Catholic) and I was 17. He was completely accepting and made me feel like a human being.
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    Mar 30, 2007 12:03 AM GMT
    17 ? very young ..... how did you know ?
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    Mar 30, 2007 12:10 AM GMT
    I was 16 and I told my best friend. He hugged me and said it was cool. Then we ate at Burger King.
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    Mar 30, 2007 1:33 AM GMT
    I told my best friend when I was 19....she laughed at me! I was so worried that she wouldn't accept me; she responded with "I've known since you were 12." I can't believe I waited as long as I did to tell her...she was amazing.
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    Mar 30, 2007 2:06 AM GMT
    i think a lot of people know even when they are very young. i at least knew i was different (even if i didnt know what to call it) since elementary school.
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    Mar 30, 2007 2:45 AM GMT
    My Wife! I was 42. I realize now, that may have not been the best age to come out, but that is the REALITY.
    She kept bugging me about my fantasies - always about guys - one in particular - God he was an Adonis, the woofiest guy I've ever seen. He looked like a cross between Elvis and Rod Taylor all rolled into one. The hairiest sexiest bear I've ever seen.
    We worked together and a group of us would jog at noon together. One day he and my boss were behind me talking and my boss said something like, "isn't that right, S.." and I turned around to see this guy standing next to him in his sweat soaked jock strap with all the glorious pertinents showing through and I know my jaw droped to the floor and I HAD TO do the ONCE OVER. And then I'm sure they knew. I still fantasize about this guy, sometimes. Its like this comfortable thing. And he has the kind of personality I like anyway. Very down to earth, friendly, kind, genuine, humorous, playful.
    Obviouisly, my relationship with my then wife has changed. We're now very good friends, fortunately.
    StuMan : )
  • Laurence

    Posts: 942

    Mar 30, 2007 10:25 AM GMT
    What a nice story Stuman, proving to all those hiding their sexuality, that it's never too late to come out.

    The first person I told was someone anonymous on a Lesbian and Gay helpline. It was the biggest release and was an incredibly positive thing, as the man I spoke to was gay and had only good things to say about being Gay (I learnt the truth later...haha).

    The first person I knew I told was my little brother, who was very supportive.

    I have never lost a friend or family member by telling them I am Gay.

    Loz
  • Laurence

    Posts: 942

    Mar 30, 2007 10:27 AM GMT
    opps I forgot to say. I was 17 when I first told someone.
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    Mar 30, 2007 12:00 PM GMT
    My best friend at the time Josh. I was 34 and he was in his mid 20s. Unfortunatly, it created a strain our friendship because he was struggling with a same sex attraction that made our friendship awkward. We don't see each other much anymore, but I still have a small crush on him.
  • Kharlo109

    Posts: 164

    Mar 30, 2007 4:24 PM GMT
    It was my best friend at the time, Matt. I think I was around...15? 16? I told him I was bisexual though...although in reality I think everyone is bisexual, just to varrying degrees (i.e. bisexual but predominantly homosexual, etc.). I have never been with a woman and I have only ever felt interest once or twice in my life. Since sexual attraction for me would be about 95% guys and 5% gals, I'd say I'm gay because I am, predominantly at least.

    The first I told that I was gay and not bi was my first boyfriend (when we met I told him I was bi).
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    Mar 30, 2007 4:53 PM GMT
    Mt best friend, I was 19.
  • TallGWMvballe...

    Posts: 1925

    Mar 30, 2007 5:16 PM GMT
    When I was 21 I called my best freind (whom I had a major crush on)
    to tell me I had a big serious thing to tell him.
    His reaction was , "Ok so you're gay,,, now what's this big important thing to tell me?

    That was such a release to me as well and helped me get through the strain.
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    Mar 30, 2007 5:22 PM GMT
    My mother, I was 6

    I came into the kitchen and asked, "Mother, can guys marry guys?" And she said, "I guess so."

    "Then I'm going to marry a guy."

    I knew I liked guys since as long as I can remember, but I cant recall exactly what I was thinking then. My family always thought I was gay, and mildly retarded.
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    Mar 30, 2007 7:35 PM GMT
    I came out to my wife of 20 years 3 years ago at the age of 50. Then, in the ensuing 2 weeks, I proceeded to tell everyone else in my life, personally and professionally. Not sure why I felt the need for such a catharsis, other than that I'd kept it bottled up for so long. I agree with other's comments that we're all a bit bisexual, and when I married my wife I was thoroughly in love and lust with her. Over the years, however, my attraction to men became irresistably strong, to the point where I had to make the decision to be a man and tell the truth about it. Curiously, the person I thought would have the hardest time understanding was my daughter, but she took it great and is now 22 years old and living with me. We've become even closer since I came out to her. My ex-wife is still my friend and I take care of her financially, so even though I 'broke a promise' to her, I'm doing my best to do the right thing by her. Sooooo, for those of you thinking there's a time in life when it's too late to come out, I'd have to disagree. It's all about being true to oneself and others and harmony in your life can't happen if you're living a lie.
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    Mar 30, 2007 9:14 PM GMT
    My best friend at 14. But he already knew.
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    Mar 30, 2007 10:34 PM GMT
    svengali11, in my experience "coming out," it's always the ones you expect to freak out who are the most understanding and the ones you expect to be cool are the ones who freak out. My more "conservative" friends are far more my ally and defender than my coffee shop "liberal" friends who I thought stood for something. Well, turns out they stand for ideas, not people. Individual-minded people tend to judge you based on WHO you are not WHAT you are. It's the reverve for those who view the world in a more collectivist way, i.e. socialists and religious zealots.
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    Apr 01, 2007 8:01 PM GMT
    I was 15 when I told my mom. However, before that I had a gay friend when I was 14 and confided in. I figured at the time if anyone was going to understand, it was him.
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    Apr 01, 2007 10:25 PM GMT
    I think his name was Bottomboy or something like that.
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    Apr 01, 2007 11:50 PM GMT
    17 I AIMed my friend back home from college and for some reason I just had to tell her. I've been coming out slowly since. I'm pretty much done, but no one can tell and sometimes my friends forget which is a bit strange.
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    Apr 02, 2007 12:54 AM GMT
    My best friend at 15. He told me that I was going through a phase. He freaked out for a couple of weeks. So I lied, and told him that I was playing. I retreated deeper into the closet.

    At age 23, one of my closest friends from high school came to visit. We had some drinks, and she told me she liked girls. I told her I like boys. We moved in together. A mutual friend that we were really close to also came out to us. It made us closer.
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    Apr 02, 2007 3:10 AM GMT
    My mom, dad, and sister. I was 20 and didnt want to lie about it anymore.
  • MisterT

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    Apr 02, 2007 5:01 AM GMT
    One of my best friends when I was 23. No attraction there either way which made it easier. He was cool with it, as well as most of my friends.

    I knew I was different in grade school. I tackled one of my friends in 3rd grade and kissed him right on the lips, lol. I figured out how I was different in middle school. Always checking out my male classmates, and fantasizing about them, never got turned on by girls. I wasn't comfortable with it though, and was suicidal through high school, and for a few years after.

    Once I accepted it myself, I told my friend, then my parents, and other friends. My parents were actually pretty cool, and said they wished I would have been comfortable telling them sooner. I still have a good relationship with them.