WHen you send someone your pic.. and they say you are handsome or cute.. is that code for you are fugly or something?

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    Oct 02, 2007 3:17 AM GMT
    Trying to make friends and talk to a couple of guys out of state. One still talks to me, but the other just disappeared.

    Is your cute code for seeya? I am so confused.

    I sometimes wonder if they think any kind of LD relationship just isn't worth it.
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    Oct 02, 2007 8:02 AM GMT
    i have also get that experience like u ,just be nature way ,and not think too much about it ,web is web ,may differ from reality ! but for sure , i like be genuines and truth plus faithful.
    hope u get good luck
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11648

    Oct 02, 2007 9:43 AM GMT
    Welcome to the gay online world my man
    ...most of it is smoke and mirrors basically
    if a guy says that you're cute or handsome take it as just that
    no reading into it is necessary
    and don't jump to the conclusion that he's going to follow up on it either

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    Oct 02, 2007 6:23 PM GMT
    The web is a dark dark mysterious place where a 6'3, 195 pounds all muscle caucasion male looking for a long term relationship, can really be a 5'6 195 pounds all flab male looking for instant gratification lol.

    Even though I have always had the luck of meeting people who were what they said they were, accept for one who claimed to be masculine but was jealous of my small body and wanted a belly button piercing, I like to call it bizarro land sometimes.

    I've found that people who call me cute are referring more to my boyish features than anything else. Like the fact that I like to wear matching pajamas sometime, or when I ask a question that they find silly or naive. I may not necessarily be their type, but there's something interesting about me, something odd innocet and refreshig that makes them want to chat a little bit longer. Usually until conversations get boring and then thats about it.

    But I say really don't pay any of it too much mind. Wanna know if someone's interested or not see if they're actually pursuing you or not. People over the net will dissappear if they're not interested trust me having done so myself plenty of times.

    For as the long distance thing, it works for some people. I suppose its a little naive to believe that Mr. Right is living 2 miles away from you, but they can be iffy. You can like someone immensely over the net and meet them in person and see all of things that mysteriously didn't get a chance to be typed out and suddenly be turned off by them. There is a certain appeal to getting someone emotionally and coming to care about that mind before even ever hold their hand, Its just risky thats all.

    Like for example my mom started dating a guy in texas over the internet. She was crazy about him and he was crazy about her. He'd send her 3 big boxes of gifts a week filled purfumes and cards and flowers and bears and then after like a couple months he came up to michigan to visit. And it ended with her kicking him out of her car and leaving him in downtown detroit.
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    Oct 05, 2007 9:06 AM GMT
    Yeah, the same thing happened to me.
    I met a guy on line. We talked and sent back and forth HUGE e-mails that were very intimate and deep. We fell for each other very hard. When we finally had some free time to meet each other in person, he drove up for a day.
    after about an hour, I realized that I fell for him and had gotten back up nd was waiting for him to leave. There was no chemistry. Because of the lack of chemistry, I lost most all of my intrest in him and opted to be friends.
    I regret that I hurt him so much that I don't want to take any chances. I have promised myself (and all other guys) I would be much more careful.
    I dunno, the most amazing and worth while relationship I had was when we met through our friends. It was amazing but couldn't last.
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    Oct 05, 2007 7:21 PM GMT
    95% of men on-line are just window shopping.
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    Oct 06, 2007 7:09 PM GMT
    I think I am an emotional person. That is why I think I get my hopes up.

    This guy I know locally said I would get jaded.

    He acted like I would learn to leave my emotions at the door and just do whatever came next.. Sex with no feeling might be good, but I don't see how it can ever be great.
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    Oct 06, 2007 7:59 PM GMT
    kylez4me, you just said something that I wish every guy felt. You can't equate sex with a hand shake. Yeah it can feel good, but unless you actually feel something for the person, sex with him will never be as amazing as it would if you both felt something for each other.

    I will say that you do sound like a thinker with emotions and feelings and an actual personality. That will scare A LOT of guys away I have noticed. It is like you show them or remind them that they have some kind of problem and then that drives them away. What is really bad is when you make it clear that you know what you want because A TON MORE of people are still trying to figure that out for themselves. Trust me, it gets to be soo much harder before it gets better, but then it IS soo much better!! But think of it like this: you have a built in bum-be-gone. Guys that are worth it will be attracted to you.

    And, (something I hated to hear, but works all too well) just give up. Don’t go to the clubs for a guy. Go for your self or to be with friends. Make your desire for a guy the last thought in your mind. That entire “lack of interest” beams out like some kind of rainbow light house to all the gay cruise ships in the water. ;)

    You’ll find him.
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Oct 07, 2007 1:28 PM GMT
    TiggerHeight said,

    "Yeah it can feel good, but unless you actually feel something for the person, sex with him will never be as amazing as it would if you both felt something for each other"

    I have to agree 100% with that. That is so true.

    Kylez4me, You will find him and it will be great when you do.

    Mike
  • Squarejaw

    Posts: 1035

    Oct 08, 2007 1:38 AM GMT
    Casual sex can be fan-fucking-tastic.

    http://www.theonion.com/content/news/study_casual_sex_only_rewarding
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    Oct 08, 2007 5:05 AM GMT
    Personally, I found that I had to be honest with myself about who I am and with whom I could link up with in a meaningful way.

    I had to get rid of all the stereotypes of who I am. And realize, I am weird! I have a great variety of interests that most men don't. My education and knowledge is way different. So to pretend to myself that the standard guy was going to be pleased by me and that I could be satisfied by such men was just fooling myself. Once I took stock of myself honestly, then I could see who would be a match for me.

    I have found that man. And, wow, has it been a liberating feeling to be able to relate totally honestly. I know I can speak and be myself and he is really interested and wants to participate as much as I do. We stimulate each other...and love it.

    I think he is sooo handsome and that I look like Mr Potato Head next to him. He says that's not true. I am amazed by his intelligence. But he says that of me. But who cares...we have each other. That's all that counts.
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    Oct 08, 2007 5:27 AM GMT
    Caslon, I've read many intelligent posts from you. Your man is right about you.

    I did the same thing, taking stock of myself and realizing that I'm weird in a lot of ways. Self-perception I had while I was growing up were mostly the products of family expectations, they did not know and therefore I did not know who I really am. It takes soul searching, being realistic, and also having faith that I could be good at things that I never thought I was.
  • Lifeisgood

    Posts: 46

    Oct 13, 2007 1:32 PM GMT
    This topic went from decoding what some guy means by "handsome" to living your life with truth and honesty. Interesting.

    It sounds like most of us have had the same experiences. Going online, thinking you met a Mr. Right, being disappointed, dealing with liars.

    There are a few big messages here.

    First, you need to be brutally honest with yourself about who you are and what you want.

    The internet if full of fakes and window shoppers so once you get to that point where you do know yourself quite well, you will scare most of them off.

    To summarize, find out who you are, then go out in person and show it off.
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    Oct 19, 2007 12:27 PM GMT
    That's why i have given up to reach out here. They say hi, chat for one time, disappear and never respond again. And they didn't even have a reason for this.

    The first few times i kept thinking about what really went wrong. Did I say something wrong? did I offend you somehow?

    I went from angry, disappointed to indifferent.
    I gave up and i don't believe those who say they wanna meet friends here.

    Well, i've accepted the reality. But i just don't understand why they can't have the courtesy to ......well, whatever

    we are gay, come on.