Dec 18, 2014 10:55 AM GMT
I've written about this before, so I've felt like this for awhile. I'm turning 22 in like 10 days. And I have achieved nothing and am no closer to my goal.
Basically, I've been working at McDonalds since I was 15, I 2 years ago I found another job. It was professional and full time, I thought I was going somewhere. Until it turned out to be a nightmare, I was 100 times happier working at Mcdonalds then I was working in sales. Every day I felt like I was going to lose my job and the turnover was honestly scary. So I left and chose to finally pursue my dream career of graphic design, however I could only apply to one place that was within travel distance (I live 2 hours from the city) this place was an hour away, however it has the highest crime rate of a city in our state. And it shows. My classmates were honestly all fuckheads, I hated pretty much everyone that I hated going, the travel was terrible because I couldn't afford the petrol and the only transport we have is terrible.
One train an hour (If you're lucky) for two hours to the city, completely packed and always unreliable with trains getting cancelled so you're stuck in the city. I couldn't take it anymore and just left. Now I'm back at McDonald's and where I was when I was 15. Whilst I'm definitely not happy, I feel safe. However now I find I'm too scared to make a move, there is no work down here and I'm too afraid to look for another job because my last two attempts have been terrible.
I just don't wanna go through all of it again, I'm frozen from it and I just don't know what to do. All my friends have moved on and live in the city and one just got accepted into the biggest hospital in the state.
Due to finances, car loans, computer loans, general bills. I need to find work, but I'm just so comfortable I'm scared too leave. I keep thinking (Why would they want me) and I feel like I'm not good enough for anything else.
This may sound stupid, but Carrie Bradshaw is basically my inspiration in life. All I want is beautiful apartment in the city with a fantastic career and a close group of friends. I have an amazing boyfriend, and I think one day we may move to the city but it's not his dream.
This is also kind of a self reflective piece, so I can lay all my thoughts out there, If you can offer any advice I'd be grateful.
Basically, I've been working at McDonalds since I was 15, I 2 years ago I found another job. It was professional and full time, I thought I was going somewhere. Until it turned out to be a nightmare, I was 100 times happier working at Mcdonalds then I was working in sales. Every day I felt like I was going to lose my job and the turnover was honestly scary. So I left and chose to finally pursue my dream career of graphic design, however I could only apply to one place that was within travel distance (I live 2 hours from the city) this place was an hour away, however it has the highest crime rate of a city in our state. And it shows. My classmates were honestly all fuckheads, I hated pretty much everyone that I hated going, the travel was terrible because I couldn't afford the petrol and the only transport we have is terrible.
One train an hour (If you're lucky) for two hours to the city, completely packed and always unreliable with trains getting cancelled so you're stuck in the city. I couldn't take it anymore and just left. Now I'm back at McDonald's and where I was when I was 15. Whilst I'm definitely not happy, I feel safe. However now I find I'm too scared to make a move, there is no work down here and I'm too afraid to look for another job because my last two attempts have been terrible.
I just don't wanna go through all of it again, I'm frozen from it and I just don't know what to do. All my friends have moved on and live in the city and one just got accepted into the biggest hospital in the state.
Due to finances, car loans, computer loans, general bills. I need to find work, but I'm just so comfortable I'm scared too leave. I keep thinking (Why would they want me) and I feel like I'm not good enough for anything else.
This may sound stupid, but Carrie Bradshaw is basically my inspiration in life. All I want is beautiful apartment in the city with a fantastic career and a close group of friends. I have an amazing boyfriend, and I think one day we may move to the city but it's not his dream.
This is also kind of a self reflective piece, so I can lay all my thoughts out there, If you can offer any advice I'd be grateful.