Dancing with other guys while in a relationship?

  • popobtc

    Posts: 74

    Dec 21, 2014 8:54 AM GMT
    Is dancing with other guys while in a committed relationship acceptable?

    I was at a night club tonight attempting to dance and was asked repeated times to dance. When I told them I was dating someone a few didn't seem to care while others walked away. I have no problem dancing with girls but when it comes to another guy I worry it might give them the wrong idea.

    Would you guys dance with another guy while in a relationship?
    Does it matter if you boyfriend is at the club with you or not?
    Would you be okay if you boyfriend danced with other guys?
    Does your answer change if the guy your dancing with is a friend?
  • FuerteC

    Posts: 588

    Dec 21, 2014 8:55 AM GMT
    popobtc saidIs dancing with other guys while in a committed relationship acceptable?

    I was at a night club tonight attempting to dance and was asked repeated times to dance. When I told them I was dating someone a few didn't seem to care while others walked away. I have no problem dancing with girls but when it comes to another guy I worry it might give them the wrong idea.

    Would you guys dance with another guy while in a relationship?
    Does it matter if you boyfriend is at the club with you or not?
    Would you be okay if you boyfriend danced with other guys?
    Does your answer change if the guy your dancing with is a friend?


    As long as you don't sleep with them while having a committed relationship its fine.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 21, 2014 9:22 AM GMT
    Do people ask permission to dance where you are? I have visions of you dancing with your boyfriend and a guy with a pencil moustache sliding up to you and saying "mind if I cut in?"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 21, 2014 9:42 AM GMT
    Of course it's OK to dance with someone else. You are not living in Victorian England.

    I can't see any equivalence between dancing and cheating.

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  • buddycat

    Posts: 1874

    Dec 21, 2014 10:07 AM GMT
    I was thinking that too. Guys still ask you to dance but most just don't ask they kind of cut in without asking and introduce themselves. That reminds of me that too, when a couple is dancing and someone wants to cut in. As long as you are just dancing and there is no grinding on each other. If you were dirty dancing I would say no it is not appropriate but if you are waltzing I think you are OK.

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  • mybud

    Posts: 11821

    Dec 21, 2014 1:28 PM GMT
    If your relationship is truly strong, dancing with another guy is harmless...my opinion.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 21, 2014 2:30 PM GMT
    It's all about security in a relationship. Dance if you want to dance. Your BF or husband will let you know if it's a problem.
    Dancing is good for the soul. Exercise it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 21, 2014 2:55 PM GMT
    For me, in my relationship, that would be absolutely not an issue. Dancing with others is ok, as long as you're not neglecting your bf.

    However, what do you and your bf think? Discuss it with him!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 21, 2014 3:25 PM GMT
    popobtc said
    Would you guys dance with another guy while in a relationship?
    Does it matter if you boyfriend is at the club with you or not?
    Would you be okay if you boyfriend danced with other guys?
    Does your answer change if the guy your dancing with is a friend?

    I've danced with other guys, but just to fast music where we didn't touch. All have been friends, with whom my husband has danced, too. I don't think I would slow dance while holding hands, that's too intimate, I only do that with my husband, and him only with me.

    I'd prefer my husband was present in the room (I doubt I'd ever be at a club without him), so he can see for himself what I'm doing, and not hear about it from exaggerated gossip. You know how queers love to dramatize things and blow them out of proportion.

    Story: my late partner & I were out clubbing. He left me on the dance floor to go into the next room where the bar was, to refill our glasses. We had a hightop table alongside the dance floor.

    While he was gone the DJ started some strobe lights and other flashing effects. A problem for my epilepsy, I nevertheless decided to continue solo dancing in place, closing my eyes behind my sunglasses, hoping the strobe would be over in less than a minute as usual.

    I wore sunglasses indoors at the club to further block out light effects, and so people couldn't see when my eyes were shut. Most just thought I wore them as a flamboyant gay fashion statement, especially as they were an unusual tint, actually selected by my doctors to reduce the colors most likely to trigger a seizure.

    So that I didn't see this guy start dancing with me, in an evening gown and buzzed haircut without a wig, whom I'd noticed earlier (how could you not?). A moment later I heard my partner's deep bass voice bellowing: "Get away from my husband!"

    I popped my eyes open to the shock of seeing this other guy in front of me. When the queen tried to reply my husband barked: "If you come near my husband again I'm gonna drag your sorry ass outside into the parking lot and beat the fucking shit out of you!"

    The guy slinked away, and I was scared, too. I'd never heard him use his voice loudly like that before, or threaten someone. I tried to explain that I was innocent, but of course claiming I was dancing with my eyes closed sounded kinda lame. Nevertheless he seemed to accept it, and we were OK for the rest of the evening, continuing to have a good time.

    We'd been living together barely a year, and I never knew how jealous he could be. He would mention it as one of his Italian traits, but I hadn't seen any real evidence of it until now. Or in any man I'd dated prior to him. In one way it's kinda flattering to be "fought over", in another way a potential cause of false accusations & mistrust.

    I've since discovered my current husband, also Italian, likewise has some latent jealousy he conceals just below the surface. He'll let me dance with other guys, but avoiding jealous reactions is why I want him to see me doing it with his own eyes, and not hear it with his ears as related by others.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Dec 21, 2014 3:32 PM GMT
    Ohno saidDo people ask permission to dance where you are? I have visions of you dancing with your boyfriend and a guy with a pencil moustache sliding up to you and saying "mind if I cut in?"

    They're not usually so polite about it. It's more like, hey, I don't recognize these hands trying to get down my pants.icon_redface.gif
  • muscleboundfe...

    Posts: 392

    Dec 21, 2014 4:14 PM GMT
    I don't have a problem with me or the person I would be seeing dancing with another man. My problem is that many people have no respect for the relationship of others and will pursue you knowing you are in a relationship. I would ask my boyfriend/husband not to dance with someone else as to not send the message that he is available. I would do the same. Friends are different in my opinion. If friend would dare try to sleep with me knowing I'm in a relationship that guy would instantly loose my friendship and respect.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Dec 21, 2014 4:43 PM GMT
    Just ask your bf if he has a problem with it. He'll say "no" and appreciate being asked.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3521

    Dec 21, 2014 6:48 PM GMT
    as long as he knows
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Dec 21, 2014 7:38 PM GMT
    Depends on the kind of dance I suppose, but so long as the partner is aware and has no issues, I don't see a problem.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Dec 21, 2014 10:33 PM GMT
    Are you serious ?
    Dancing ?
    If two guys dancing can break up a relationship, that relationship was already over.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Dec 21, 2014 10:43 PM GMT
    Webster666 saidAre you serious ?
    Dancing ?
    If two guys dancing can break up a relationship, that relationship was already over.

    Yet it happens all the time!
  • popobtc

    Posts: 74

    Dec 23, 2014 3:47 AM GMT
    Webster666 saidAre you serious ?
    Dancing ?
    If two guys dancing can break up a relationship, that relationship was already over.

    Valid.

    Thanks for the opinions!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 23, 2014 4:03 AM GMT
    I never knew there were so many gay Puritans!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 24, 2014 6:47 AM GMT
    I once had a date that refused to dance with me and only danced with other people. He stated that, "the whole reason to dance is to make the other person feel sexy and you're absolutely terrible at that."

    I mean, I really couldn't disagree with him, and I didn't mind it. But then, I wasn't serious with the guy, either, so maybe it's different? Now, boyfriend and I don't dance or even go to clubs. We stay inside and play side scrolling beat-em ups. That's kind of like dancing, but only when the game lets you hurt eachother with throwing weapons and the like. Otherwise, no.
  • PRDGUY

    Posts: 641

    Dec 24, 2014 12:12 PM GMT
    It is really kewl when ur boyfriend or girlfriend trusts the other to explore the appetizers

    All the while they each know that the main bèst main courses are for them.... its adds spice and often the invitation from both whether it is dancing or other activities brings bàck more variety!?!!!!!
  • ATLANTIS7

    Posts: 1213

    Dec 24, 2014 5:34 PM GMT
    No No No
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 24, 2014 6:18 PM GMT
    why not… its dancing…
  • BlackRussian1...

    Posts: 323

    Dec 24, 2014 6:44 PM GMT
    Oh my, what silliness. "Excuse me madam, but would the lady care for a stroll?" It's not 1810 and last I checked, you can't get pregnant from dancing! LOL, ridiculous!

    (As an aside, I had a guy say this to me at a club once which was followed by my raucous laughter and saying "Bitch please.")
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Dec 24, 2014 7:25 PM GMT
    I've never thought there was any problem with it ... however my first partner saw me dancing with a guy on the dance floor (mind you, not touching or anything and it wasn't like it was a slow dance either, just a feeling good out drinking dance) and he flew across the room and attacked the guy for dancing with me ... which of course got him kicked out of my favorite club permanently