Putting Yourself Out There

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 23, 2014 9:50 PM GMT
    Ever since my last semester of junior college, I never knew what to do with myself other than work, going towards my Bachelor's, and obtaining my license. However, while searching for better work, I did believe I had finally had the time to do the things I desired to do (writing a novel or series, enrolling in martial arts, and date).

    However, I never honestly knew how to "put myself out there" when searching for a companion. I've heard that one should better themselves before bringing another person into their life(and that during so that person will come along), or else in my belief they'd become a liability. As of lately, I desire more of a social life, and as an adult who possesses very miniscule experience in sex and relationships, this bothers me because I feel I can't relate to other adults. Also, I don't have a "gaydar" and certainly am not alluring in presence (I'm rather intimidating). A co-worker informed I should either join dating sites or do more "gay things", and I'm not that keen on either choices.

    What is your input on this? How do you guys put yourself out there?
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 872

    Dec 24, 2014 4:39 AM GMT
    This really ain't rocket science at allicon_biggrin.gif

    You know that among a few other things, you would want to start dating, have more interhuman contact, improve on your sex life, etc.

    You also know that you do not want to do gay things, and are not into putting your profile onto the dating portals.

    The only one thing you really need to do here is to realize that all of our wishes and desires, no matter how small or even how laudable ALWAYS come at a price.

    The price for meeting other gay guys has been already listed by your co-worker. If there had been any shortcut, in this time and age, we would all know about it, and we would be all using it, tooicon_biggrin.gif

    SC
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 24, 2014 11:27 PM GMT
    I bet after focusing on other goals it has to be difficult to shift gears and start thinking about something like dating, relationships, getting to know some gays. You do need to put yourself out there a bit, they are not going to come knocking on your door unannounced.

    While people love to share horror stories about dating site experiences, they can be a safe and convenient way of meeting someone. Just be clear about your expectations, keep your b.s. filter up, and look for people that seem to want to get to know you.

    You mention an interest in writing and martial arts. Perhaps start exploring these interests in your community and see if you meet someone. I would suggest keeping the focus on meeting people you can be friends with, and if a relationship happens, then great. If you get too focused on dating, you might force yourself into something that is not a good fit. If you find good friends, they can always help hook you up, too.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 27, 2014 11:24 PM GMT
    Thank you. Well, there doesn't appear to be much in my area, and if anything I don't even know what my co-worker meant by "gay things" other than clubs. Plus, I'm not certain on how to make myself more alluring considering I have a bitch face.
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Jan 02, 2015 3:26 AM GMT
    Junny saidThank you. Well, there doesn't appear to be much in my area, and if anything I don't even know what my co-worker meant by "gay things" other than clubs. Plus, I'm not certain on how to make myself more alluring considering I have a bitch face.


    I agree with PatrickRayna, one good way would be gay online dating. Yeah, there are lots of stories but it's rare to get a truly mind scarring experience. There are plenty of good to know, genuine guys on the sites looking for the same thing you are and you're bound to find a few to be compatible with.

    And if you aren't finding any groups that pertain to your interests, why not start one up yourself? You can do this kind of thing on sites like Meetup.com or even Facebook.

    Good luck!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 03, 2015 6:28 PM GMT
    BloodFlame said
    Junny saidThank you. Well, there doesn't appear to be much in my area, and if anything I don't even know what my co-worker meant by "gay things" other than clubs. Plus, I'm not certain on how to make myself more alluring considering I have a bitch face.


    I agree with PatrickRayna, one good way would be gay online dating. Yeah, there are lots of stories but it's rare to get a truly mind scarring experience. There are plenty of good to know, genuine guys on the sites looking for the same thing you are and you're bound to find a few to be compatible with.

    And if you aren't finding any groups that pertain to your interests, why not start one up yourself? You can do this kind of thing on sites like Meetup.com or even Facebook.

    Good luck!


    Thank you. To be honest, I don't want to go through with online dating, not just because I want to meet people online, but also because I need to break away from the computer which kinda keeps me from going out.