Is there anything attractive about hooking up with a DL case?

  • wesv

    Posts: 907

    Dec 28, 2014 9:13 PM GMT
    To me, it's just inconvenient and annoying to accommodate "discreet."

    And yes it's misspelled.
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    Dec 28, 2014 9:30 PM GMT
    -you get to confuse them even more
    -make divorce seem inexpensive
    -text and tell them your pregnant
    -makes have a nice day possible to say
    -we are only the 2% so the bottoms have to come from some place
    -you were curios about how this parenting thing works for them
    -you like hotel bars
    -both your mothers have things in common, should meet
    -reminder; dont get a paid employ with the salvation army
    -stay awhile likely the wife will call a lawyer instead of the hand gun
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    Dec 28, 2014 9:36 PM GMT
    Record the encounter and then blackmail them.
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    Dec 29, 2014 4:49 AM GMT
    If you're just looking for a fuck, then it shouldn't be an issue. Of course, there's the moral dilemma when you find out he's in a relationship or married to a woman, and they don't know. icon_neutral.gif
  • bro4bro

    Posts: 1031

    Dec 29, 2014 5:16 AM GMT
    Uh, dude?

    "Discreet" is the correct spelling for what you mean.

    "Discrete" is a different word entirely. Consult your dictionary.

    Literacy. It's what's for dinner.
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 872

    Dec 29, 2014 5:52 AM GMT
    xrichx saidIf you're just looking for a fuck, then it shouldn't be an issue. Of course, there's the moral dilemma when you find out he's in a relationship or married to a woman, and they don't know. icon_neutral.gif


    Call me immoral, but I have never been appointed anyone's moral guardian. I am happy to say that I do not qualify.

    If a dude chooses to cheat (or not) on his partner(s), that's purely between the two or more of them. I do not know the details of their arrangements, promises, etc., and frankly, I am not that interested in the details of other people's intimate lives either.

    I also understand that some people have very good reasons for not wearing their sexual orientation on their sleeves. Hence, I would have no problem dating someone who wants to keep a low profile on his/our sexual orientation. Save for the usual 15 minitue gossip attention span of the folks out there, his and my being gay or not is really of very little consequence to the rest of the world, isn't it?

    SC
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    Dec 29, 2014 6:46 PM GMT
    bro4bro saidUh, dude?

    "Discreet" is the correct spelling for what you mean.

    "Discrete" is a different word entirely. Consult your dictionary.

    Literacy. It's what's for dinner.


    +1. Your to smart.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Dec 29, 2014 6:55 PM GMT
    SilverRRCloud said
    xrichx saidIf you're just looking for a fuck, then it shouldn't be an issue. Of course, there's the moral dilemma when you find out he's in a relationship or married to a woman, and they don't know. icon_neutral.gif


    Call me immoral, but I have never been appointed anyone's moral guardian. I am happy to say that I do not qualify.

    If a dude chooses to cheat (or not) on his partner(s), that's purely between the two or more of them. I do not know the details of their arrangements, promises, etc., and frankly, I am not that interested in the details of other people's intimate lives either.

    I also understand that some people have very good reasons for not wearing their sexual orientation on their sleeves. Hence, I would have no problem dating someone who wants to keep a low profile on his/our sexual orientation. Save for the usual 15 minitue gossip attention span of the folks out there, his and my being gay or not is really of very little consequence to the rest of the world, isn't it?

    SC

    Nicely put. I agree totally. Both my partner and I were closeted when we met. When we committed to each other suddenly we both had a good reason to exit the closet. So we did. My thoughts on closeted guys is don't prejudge them. Stay open minded and see if you like the guy. Everything else will follow in time. Why start creating lists of what is unacceptable? People are complex. The ones I'm interested in anyway.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Dec 29, 2014 6:57 PM GMT
    sf_swimmer said
    bro4bro saidUh, dude?

    "Discreet" is the correct spelling for what you mean.

    "Discrete" is a different word entirely. Consult your dictionary.

    Literacy. It's what's for dinner.


    +1. Your to smart.

    lol. I assume this is ironic. But I also agree with bro. Spelling and grammar matter. Spell check screwups don't.
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    Dec 29, 2014 7:18 PM GMT
    Destinharbor saidBoth my partner and I were closeted when we met.

    Being in the closet is one thing and I also don't have a problem with someone who's in the closet. But my understanding is that being on the down low means that the guy has a wife or girlfriend, which is a lot different. They know they're gay and they're using their wife or girlfriend as a smokescreen.
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    Dec 29, 2014 8:51 PM GMT
    Destinharbor said
    SilverRRCloud said
    xrichx saidIf you're just looking for a fuck, then it shouldn't be an issue. Of course, there's the moral dilemma when you find out he's in a relationship or married to a woman, and they don't know. icon_neutral.gif


    Call me immoral, but I have never been appointed anyone's moral guardian. I am happy to say that I do not qualify.

    If a dude chooses to cheat (or not) on his partner(s), that's purely between the two or more of them. I do not know the details of their arrangements, promises, etc., and frankly, I am not that interested in the details of other people's intimate lives either.

    I also understand that some people have very good reasons for not wearing their sexual orientation on their sleeves. Hence, I would have no problem dating someone who wants to keep a low profile on his/our sexual orientation. Save for the usual 15 minitue gossip attention span of the folks out there, his and my being gay or not is really of very little consequence to the rest of the world, isn't it?

    SC

    Nicely put. I agree totally. Both my partner and I were closeted when we met. When we committed to each other suddenly we both had a good reason to exit the closet. So we did. My thoughts on closeted guys is don't prejudge them. Stay open minded and see if you like the guy. Everything else will follow in time. Why start creating lists of what is unacceptable? People are complex. The ones I'm interested in anyway.


    Stop the presses! Hold the phones! Actual examples of gay men who can think for themselves rather than follow the crowd! Did hell just freeze over?
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Dec 29, 2014 9:27 PM GMT
    Lumpyoatmeal said
    Destinharbor saidBoth my partner and I were closeted when we met.

    Being in the closet is one thing and I also don't have a problem with someone who's in the closet. But my understanding is that being on the down low means that the guy has a wife or girlfriend, which is a lot different. They know they're gay and they're using their wife or girlfriend as a smokescreen.

    I don't know. Is that what DL means? I just thought "on the down low," DL, meant discreet, closeted.
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    Dec 29, 2014 11:05 PM GMT
    Only if the guy is attractive. Everything else about it is reprehensible to me, especially if he is DL because he has a wife, girlfriend, or partner.
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    Dec 29, 2014 11:07 PM GMT
    sf_swimmer said
    Destinharbor said
    SilverRRCloud said
    xrichx saidIf you're just looking for a fuck, then it shouldn't be an issue. Of course, there's the moral dilemma when you find out he's in a relationship or married to a woman, and they don't know. icon_neutral.gif


    Call me immoral, but I have never been appointed anyone's moral guardian. I am happy to say that I do not qualify.

    If a dude chooses to cheat (or not) on his partner(s), that's purely between the two or more of them. I do not know the details of their arrangements, promises, etc., and frankly, I am not that interested in the details of other people's intimate lives either.

    I also understand that some people have very good reasons for not wearing their sexual orientation on their sleeves. Hence, I would have no problem dating someone who wants to keep a low profile on his/our sexual orientation. Save for the usual 15 minitue gossip attention span of the folks out there, his and my being gay or not is really of very little consequence to the rest of the world, isn't it?

    SC

    Nicely put. I agree totally. Both my partner and I were closeted when we met. When we committed to each other suddenly we both had a good reason to exit the closet. So we did. My thoughts on closeted guys is don't prejudge them. Stay open minded and see if you like the guy. Everything else will follow in time. Why start creating lists of what is unacceptable? People are complex. The ones I'm interested in anyway.


    Stop the presses! Hold the phones! Actual examples of gay men who can think for themselves rather than follow the crowd! Did hell just freeze over?


    The difference being is that both were closeted. I can respect their choice. However, being out I would not want to go through the lying required to maintain a closeted guy's charade.

    However, the OP is talking about hooking up not dating.
  • Quasar

    Posts: 14

    Dec 29, 2014 11:19 PM GMT
    If you're just hooking up I don't see an issue. You're never going to hook up if it's "inconvenient". Relationship would be a tough decision though, lots of potential heart ache.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Dec 29, 2014 11:24 PM GMT
    I do find it a bit weenie to be closeted in this day and age and country.
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    Dec 30, 2014 1:07 AM GMT
    Destinharbor saidI do find it a bit weenie to be closeted in this day and age and country.


    Sort of like the proverbial former smoker.icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Dec 30, 2014 1:58 AM GMT
    Destinharbor said
    Lumpyoatmeal said
    Destinharbor saidBoth my partner and I were closeted when we met.

    Being in the closet is one thing and I also don't have a problem with someone who's in the closet. But my understanding is that being on the down low means that the guy has a wife or girlfriend, which is a lot different. They know they're gay and they're using their wife or girlfriend as a smokescreen.

    I don't know. Is that what DL means? I just thought "on the down low," DL, meant discreet, closeted.

    Yes. That term originated from gay blacks, where it is/was more of a stigma to be gay. It was code. But over time, the term hit the mainstream and is used as a general term to describe something secret/discreet.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Down-low_(sexual_slang)
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    Dec 30, 2014 3:25 AM GMT
    Nothing is attractive to me about men on the DL, period. I'm not in the closet, so when guys approach me, I let them know upfront, if you're on the DL, do not expect me to put up with it. Too much of a headache to put up with it & there's nothing more funny than dealing with a guy on the DL who will get a pissy attitude when he can't have his cake and eat it too... they're better off finding someone who'll be on the DL with them. I make guys on the DL run in the opposite after they approach me. Soon as I say, "DL men cost extra.", they run in the opposite direction. I do not have the energy to put up with that & in my prior experience, they are extremely selfish.

    I'll pass...

    #KeepThat
    #MissMeWithThat
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    Dec 30, 2014 4:56 AM GMT
    wesv saidTo me, it's just inconvenient and annoying to accommodate "discreet."

    And yes it's misspelled.


    Just make sure you are hooking up with a married man. You'll get lots of gifts as he tries to assuage his guilt. You have to be a top though. Married men usually want a big cock to tear up their asses for some reason or to dominate them.
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    Dec 31, 2014 10:55 PM GMT
    If you like being someone's dirty secret cuz they can't accept themselves and worry about what others might think of them then I imagine DL types must be appealing.

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    Jan 01, 2015 3:36 PM GMT
    bro4bro saidUh, dude?

    "Discreet" is the correct spelling for what you mean.

    "Discrete" is a different word entirely. Consult your dictionary.

    Literacy. It's what's for dinner.


    +1
    (taking a break from writing and editing)
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Jan 02, 2015 3:08 AM GMT
    It really depends on your own ethics. I've found that a lot of men looking for masculine or "straight acting" guys like to go for these men since they are like them and are attracted to them.

    If we're talking about a closeted single gay man, I don't think it's too bad since they may just need a little help and support to come out. But I too think it's a little weird of being ashamed to be gay in this day and age. But I understand it may have to do with family or friends.

    If we're talking about a married closeted man, than no, I don't find that appealing at all. Sure, some of the men are physically attractive but the thought of them thinking it's okay to cheat on his wife behind her back is just vile (imo). Again, I guess if the guy only wants to hook up with him, I suppose it works but I don't know how someone could voluntarily be okay with doing this. Then again, everyone is different.

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    Jan 02, 2015 8:28 PM GMT
    Nothing attractive about it to me. icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Nov 28, 2015 7:08 AM GMT
    There are some "DL" men who have better functioning agreements with their partners than many LTR men. It doesn't matter what you call it, it matters what you agree to and how well you stick to it. Quite frankly two people agreeing to being DL, who are happy about it, is none of your fucking business, and your judgement of it is not needed.