Mixed Guys and Interracial Dating

  • Jav1993

    Posts: 45

    Dec 31, 2014 6:03 AM GMT
    This whole online dating thing is new to me so I don't know if this is common but every guy I've messaged has said 1 of 3 things:

    1. I don't date outside my race
    2. I'm not into black guys
    3. I'm only into black guys

    Now I'm mixed and I've never been told I'm not black enough and too black in the same day hahaha. It's a little disheartening to be honest. Are there still people who are interested in mixed guys and interracial dating?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 31, 2014 6:20 AM GMT
    Ah, they're just jealous. And/or you're messaging to the shallow end of the pool.
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    Dec 31, 2014 6:21 AM GMT
    Of the millions of LGBT people, the answer is yes….there are plenty of people who are interested in mixed guys and interracial dating. If a guy tells you he's doesn't date outside his race and/or not into a specific race, I suggest you move on to the next one. Eventually, you'll find that guy who likes you for you and not your skin color.
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    Dec 31, 2014 6:22 AM GMT
    Let me just land this plane before it leaves the tarmac. On this site, you'll find very few who aren't race biased. And, as with all things in life, it depends.

    It only matters to the people who don't really matter. So, when you meet someone who responds with, "I don't date outside my race." Consider them irrelevant. And they're probably someone you don't want to associate with anyway.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Dec 31, 2014 6:35 AM GMT
    Take heart ... Just like straight guys who hate when gay men look at them, their day will come when no one will want to look at them, and on that day they will wish, someone out there, anyone, would just look at them and give them a little attention. Besides, who would want to date someone like that??
  • Jav1993

    Posts: 45

    Dec 31, 2014 11:10 PM GMT
    It just gets annoying. It seems so easy for everyone else icon_sad.gif
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    Dec 31, 2014 11:15 PM GMT
    Jav1993 saidIt just gets annoying. It seems so easy for everyone else icon_sad.gif



    But we all feel that way. We are all rejected for things beyond our control....yes....even White people. I've been rejected because I was White, because I was too young and because I was too old. I've been rejected because I was too hairy and by the next guy because I was not hairy enough. Trying to cater to everyone's preferences is like trying to navigate through a mine field. It's best to just put yourself out there and ignore those who reject you and focus on the ones who accept you. You will be much happier.
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    Jan 01, 2015 12:50 AM GMT
    Jav1993 saidThis whole online dating thing is new to me so I don't know if this is common but every guy I've messaged has said 1 of 3 things:

    1. I don't date outside my race
    2. I'm not into black guys
    3. I'm only into black guys

    Now I'm mixed and I've never been told I'm not black enough and too black in the same day hahaha. It's a little disheartening to be honest. Are there still people who are interested in mixed guys and interracial dating?

    People who tell you this BS are doing you a favor.
    1. They are signaling loud and clear that they are assholes and that you shouldn't waste any more time on them

    or

    2. They are not interested in you for whatever reason and use an excuse that you can't change and waste more time.

    Internet rejections shouldn't be taken too seriously. People judge you based on your profile which is a couple of pics and a few words (if they make it that far on your profile) and not you as a person. Move on, it's their loss!
  • callumity

    Posts: 52

    Jan 01, 2015 4:13 PM GMT
    Their loss. You are a very attractive guy so I can't imagine any guy saying no to you icon_eek.gif

    I've gotten those replies when I've messaged me and vice versa and I tend to end the conversation there because it's really not worth my time to point the idiocy of the statement they made. Think of it as a plus, you avoided wasting anytime with someone who is judging you by your skin colour.

    To describe internet dating in the bluntest way possible is mostly filled with vain people who are interested in the hot guys without much thought for the person behind that. What makes the vain people continue to be vain is the fact that they have a hundred guys at the finger tips to message so they'll grow to become ignorant and more vain, idolising unrealistic ideals of person.

    All in all, internet dating can be good on a rare basis but it's a breeding ground of greedy and very vain people.

    It's sad but we live in a harsh world and people tend to be more harsh via the internet.
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    Jan 01, 2015 5:58 PM GMT
    You can't please everyone bro.
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    Jan 01, 2015 6:56 PM GMT
    It really does suck bro. But you can't let those people bother you much. I'm mixed too and it's usually not a big deal to others. But i know the classic ''no black, no asians'' guys are always on dating sites. But you kind of have to expect that at this point.

    If you see someone who says that. Then you know they're not the one for you. Don't waste energy on them icon_smile.gif you'll find the right guy soon enough.
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    Jan 01, 2015 6:58 PM GMT
    Radd said
    Jav1993 saidIt just gets annoying. It seems so easy for everyone else icon_sad.gif



    But we all feel that way. We are all rejected for things beyond our control....yes....even White people. I've been rejected because I was White, because I was too young and because I was too old. I've been rejected because I was too hairy and by the next guy because I was not hairy enough. Trying to cater to everyone's preferences is like trying to navigate through a mine field. It's best to just put yourself out there and ignore those who reject you and focus on the ones who accept you. You will be much happier.


    This! people can be rejected for a number of reasons. Just take each one as a lesson learned. And don't let it sit in your mind for too long.
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    Jan 01, 2015 10:35 PM GMT
    Lol, there's someone out there for you bro, you're still young. What I discovered is that whoever put *no blacks, asians or latinos or whites, whatever**. Those guys are usually the ones that kept stalking and looking at the profile. LOL
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    Jan 01, 2015 10:36 PM GMT
    Radd said
    Jav1993 saidIt just gets annoying. It seems so easy for everyone else icon_sad.gif



    But we all feel that way. We are all rejected for things beyond our control....yes....even White people. I've been rejected because I was White, because I was too young and because I was too old. I've been rejected because I was too hairy and by the next guy because I was not hairy enough. Trying to cater to everyone's preferences is like trying to navigate through a mine field. It's best to just put yourself out there and ignore those who reject you and focus on the ones who accept you. You will be much happier.

    Your complaining is equivalent to how even straight people would complain about certain kind of discrimination when some gay guy is asking for equal rights or how white people would have complained when black people were fighting for civil rights. Nice try though!
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Jan 01, 2015 10:45 PM GMT
    It just means you dodged a bullet from what I can tell. And you're attractive, you're not going to have an issue finding a guy, believe me. You're 21, you have plenty of time. This is just a temporary setback that's not going to last forever. Sure it sucks to be automatically rejected for something you can't control like your race but it doesn't mean every guy will fee that way (at least in the grand scheme of things).

    Just keep the faith OP and keep looking. Believe me, you have nothing to worry about.

    Radd said
    Jav1993 saidIt just gets annoying. It seems so easy for everyone else icon_sad.gif



    But we all feel that way. We are all rejected for things beyond our control....yes....even White people. I've been rejected because I was White, because I was too young and because I was too old. I've been rejected because I was too hairy and by the next guy because I was not hairy enough. Trying to cater to everyone's preferences is like trying to navigate through a mine field. It's best to just put yourself out there and ignore those who reject you and focus on the ones who accept you. You will be much happier.


    Shape Shifters wouldn't have this problem lol.
    But yeah, good point.
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    Jan 02, 2015 12:00 AM GMT
    Just keep it moving, its their loss and you will find someone who accepts you for you!!!
  • Jav1993

    Posts: 45

    Jan 02, 2015 1:00 AM GMT
    Haha thanks guys. I guess I'll just keep on waiting. It's tough living in the South hahaha
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Jan 02, 2015 3:00 AM GMT
    Jav1993 saidHaha thanks guys. I guess I'll just keep on waiting. It's tough living in the South hahaha


    Well that explains a bit. Honestly, if you were in a more gay central area like NYC or Los Angeles, you wouldn't have many problems.

    IF you are unable to move, just be sure to keep your head as I'm sure there are a few open minded folks out in the South. icon_smile.gif


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    Jan 04, 2015 4:10 PM GMT
    I'm sorry that's happened to you. You seem like a nice guy, and your attractive, it's definitely their loss!
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    Jan 08, 2015 12:44 AM GMT
    BloodFlame saidIt just means you dodged a bullet from what I can tell. And you're attractive, you're not going to have an issue finding a guy, believe me. You're 21, you have plenty of time. This is just a temporary setback that's not going to last forever. Sure it sucks to be automatically rejected for something you can't control like your race but it doesn't mean every guy will fee that way (at least in the grand scheme of things).

    Just keep the faith OP and keep looking. Believe me, you have nothing to worry about.


    +1

    This. Indeed you're attractive and you have a very nice smile. To be honest, someone who won't date you because of your race is not someone to be bothered with or upset about. Just keep looking, or as they say, live life and someone will walk into it.
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    Jan 08, 2015 6:36 AM GMT
    You think being black is bad

    Try being Asian or South Asian. I have heard from a chinese guy at my university LGBT center that he never gets any dates. The only people who want him are people who are about to kick the bucket. Same with indian guys at the LGBT center. I feel sorry for them. But then I ask: would I date them? No. But it is because I am not attracted to them, not because of their race.
  • jtz03932

    Posts: 200

    Jan 09, 2015 1:33 AM GMT
    angry_as_hell saidYou think being black is bad

    Try being Asian or South Asian. I have heard from a chinese guy at my university LGBT center that he never gets any dates. The only people who want him are people who are about to kick the bucket. Same with indian guys at the LGBT center. I feel sorry for them. But then I ask: would I date them? No. But it is because I am not attracted to them, not because of their race.


    THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! At least you are black.

    By being asian, you'll get approached by old white men... like old enough to be your dad/grandfather.

    Disgusting racist people. I don't feel I belong in the LGBT community and racism is such a taboo.
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    Jan 10, 2015 7:00 PM GMT
    It happens to the best of us haha! Don't take it to heart, this is not within your control and thus shouldn't spend time dwelling on it. It happens and it will happen again likely, just focus on yourself and keep it moving icon_smile.gif

    As cliché as it may sound, you will meet someone when the time comes, no need to rush. Get out there and meet people, in the real world away from the apps and see what happens, friends or something more serious! x