I found out my boyfriend is talking to someone else and going out on dates...

  • Risicv

    Posts: 2

    Jan 02, 2015 7:37 PM GMT
    Hey everyone.. I'm brand new in this website, I'm going thru some really hard time and I need some advice, this is the situation..

    On Monday I broke up with my boyfriend(now ex) (he's 45 and I'm 27)when I found out that he was taking and dating another guy. We dated 6 months and then got in the relationship, but since the first week of the decemver he was acting more quiet and distance with me. Last Saturday we were getting ready to go out and I was using he's ipad and he receive a text message saying "I can't wait for out date on Monday night. I close the iPad and I didn't say anything. Then on Monday morning they were having the same conversation about going on the date..

    Then I told him on Monday night that I knew what he was up to, and some other stuff..
    Now he said he wants to talk to me and have an adult conversation, and I don't know what to do.. Cause I'm sure that if I go he's gonna try to wash my brain and make it like I'm wrong


    Another detail he's not my sugar daddy, I have a degree in civil engineering. And I don't like to get money from anyone. and I never took any money or anything from him.
    And he knew it was a monogamus relationship cause I never had sex with anyone else.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 02, 2015 8:03 PM GMT
    In my mind your free to leave him because 6mo is not a lot of investment in this relationship.

    If you two live together get some place lined up for your self asap. Pack your stuff and leave. Than and only then confront him. Than dont look back.

    older gay men suffer from the Peter Pan issue and refuse to grow up. You dont need this.

    If you choose to forgive him you have to really really forgive him or elect for the open relationship. In a long term relationship, given enough time, almost everything will go wrong. Staying with the same man needs a lot of forgiveness. Say what you want but you can never call the kettle black. Given enough life experience you would have already done that exact same bad or in a few months years commit the same bad.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 02, 2015 8:22 PM GMT
    Leave him! He didn't have the decency to end things before dating other guys. Or at least be open and honest about it. I'm sure you can do much better!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 03, 2015 5:18 PM GMT


    Then I told him on Monday night that I knew what he was up to, and some other stuff..
    Now he said he wants to talk to me and have an adult conversation, and I don't know what to do.. Cause I'm sure that if I go he's gonna try to wash my brain and make it like I'm wrong [/quote]

    Get some self respect and search for a guy who is faithful.
    You deserve better then some degenerate
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 03, 2015 11:23 PM GMT
    Dude,

    You have to stand up to your father and tell him that this is YOUR life. You deserve better.
  • Beeftastic

    Posts: 1747

    Jan 04, 2015 2:34 AM GMT
    You didn't say if you guys were both agreed to be monogamous. I wonder if that's part of the issue? That needs to be agreed explicitly and up front with each other. Just something about the way you described it, it brought up that question in my mind that maybe you assumed that rather than agreed on it.

    However, it would be the dishonesty and lying that would be the real issue for me regardless. And I would move on. All men can cheat, age has nothing to do with that.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 04, 2015 5:54 AM GMT
    If you're even contemplating giving him a chance when you basically caught him you deserve to be screwed over. I can guarantee you this isn't the first guy he's been screwing around with meeting or having sex on the side.

    Get tested for all STD/STI's and get the hell away from him.

    Who the hell says to someone they've been dating that they need to have an "Adult" conversation? Unless at 27 you act like a child that is an insult in itself.

    Get some self-esteem, self-respect and get away from this guy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 04, 2015 6:11 AM GMT
    Sweetie! Broke up?

    Baby! You didn't drain his bank account, get title to the mansion, and a safe deposit box full of investment grade diamonds first?

    Sugar cookie! You should have messaged the little bitch who's going after your man and threatened to cut him.

    Own your power while you've still got it!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 04, 2015 6:30 AM GMT
    Play that rihanna song "take a bow" when u two have "adult conversation".
  • tennsjock

    Posts: 349

    Jan 04, 2015 7:19 AM GMT
    You both should be clear on your relationship status, and on your expectations of each other.

    Personally, I've found that monogamous relationships are the exception to the rule, and my gay friends are always surprised that I'm in a monogamous relationship. So I think

    1) You two are monogamous, but he doesn't want to be. Then you should figure out, TOGETHER, whether you want a monogamous relationship and, if not, what the rules should be.

    2) He's not monogamous, and you're okay with that. It's okay to stay with him (if that's what you want), but he still deserves some punishment for not having this conversation first icon_twisted.gif

    3) He's not monogamous, and that's not the kind of relationship you want to have. Then drop him. Or forgive him. But it's YOUR choice -- he's the one who made a mistake. If that's the kind of relationship he wanted, he should have been upfront with you from the beginning.

  • rnch

    Posts: 11525

    Jan 04, 2015 4:33 PM GMT
    Time

    To

    Move

    On.
  • NeuralShock

    Posts: 411

    Jan 04, 2015 5:02 PM GMT
    I'm going to sound like I am repeating what everyone else is saying, but it is one more person adding onto the pile.

    My personal thoughts is he is just using you and that you are so much better off to leave him. I despise saying it but just the age difference is a bit of a warning sign, I've seen a lot of older guys think of younger as throw-away "toys" to be played with when they are fun and then discarded. Of course this does not apply to all cases though, but in this instance I feel this does!

    Just make sure you stay safe. STI checks, etc are strongly *STRONGLY* advised.
  • PE_Mike

    Posts: 75

    Jan 04, 2015 5:14 PM GMT
    I hope you're not just playing for another sponsor... don't waste another keystroke, or beat yourself up over bullshit drama, that gay and str8's play out all the time. respect your self, learn to row your own canoe and simply smile at all the countless others like him as you step around them.

    if you're naive, he may sweet talk and tongue ya once he's had his fun and your self confidence and budget run low. quite possibly he's done it countless times and may even have worked out if you're likely to try a revenge fuck. nothing quite like playing the "mea culpa" hand to smear "blame"

    so what, if after a few drinks/snorts or tears, your defences crumble? as long as you play safe, let the make up sex be incredible. when you're back on an even keel, take your time and figure out what the 45-27 trade off is about that you are even asking these questions. if you are expecting another man to provide all the security and god forbid money, you are going to be disappointed.

    that is ok. you will get over it.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11525

    Jan 04, 2015 11:30 PM GMT
    EZ2Talk2 said...Get tested for all STD/STI's and get the hell away from him...Get some self-esteem, self-respect and get away from this guy.







    AGREE.
  • Nhlakz

    Posts: 149

    Jan 05, 2015 10:45 AM GMT
    Cooper87 saidPlay that rihanna song "take a bow" when u two have "adult conversation".
    ...
    Its not important what we all have to say.cause at the end of the day its about u and him...but from my point..u dont need to talk cause these nothing important than to brain wash u...and u must know that if u forgive him he'll cheat and hurt u once more.