Do you believe in stringing someone along?

  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Jan 03, 2015 4:48 AM GMT
    I've noticed that some people will date others but keep their options open until something "better" comes along.

    I never understood how this would work but since it happens on a lot, I'm guessing it does work to an extent?

    Do you think it's a good idea to date someone while being on the lookout for other people?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 03, 2015 4:59 AM GMT
    Isn't that standard procedure for women to do with guys?
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jan 03, 2015 5:29 AM GMT
    Lumpyoatmeal saidIsn't that standard procedure for women to do with guys?

    First they string them along then they have them on a leash.icon_mad.gif
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Jan 03, 2015 5:41 AM GMT
    Lumpyoatmeal saidIsn't that standard procedure for women to do with guys?


    Some I suppose.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 03, 2015 6:16 AM GMT
    you can go on dates with more than one person at a time. There is no commitment implied. yes, I have encountered a few of those crazy clingy people who think that showing up for a first date is somehow a marriage contract. I imagine those people never have a second date.
  • bobbobbob

    Posts: 2812

    Jan 03, 2015 6:27 AM GMT
    Speaking from experience.........

    Eventually most mature gay men reach a state where they recognize it wen a younger guy is stringing them along. Then it becomes just a matter of two can play the game with the older guy always having much more experience at it.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 03, 2015 7:19 AM GMT
    mindgarden saidyou can go on dates with more than one person at a time. There is no commitment implied. yes, I have encountered a few of those crazy clingy people who think that showing up for a first date is somehow a marriage contract. I imagine those people never have a second date.


    I'm dealing with this with a guy I met and hung out with 2 days ago. In that short time he has blown up my phone with calls and texting. I'm debating whether I should just move on, or bring to his attention that he needs to chill out. The sad part is that I was interested at first...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 03, 2015 7:21 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidIt's terrible to do this to a person.

    I don't support this type of behavior at all.


    I agree.

    not fair to do this to somebody if the other person is not aware of it.

    cos not everyone does it. Maybe I'm just old fashioned but if you think about it it's a pretty shitty thing to do to anybody you're dating.
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 872

    Jan 03, 2015 7:34 AM GMT
    This is a very wide-spread phenomenon in social interaction these days.

    I was having a little get-together at my place with cocktails, canapes, etc. for like a dozen guys couple of weeks ago.

    People all confirmed, and then, a day before two guys texted their kinda regrets. Fine. It turned out they were asked for a dinner somewhere else, so they chose the steak over the cocktailsicon_biggrin.gif.

    The same applies to people looking for work, freelance projects, etc. This has become an MO...

    Sure, no promise of exclusivity is given once you start dating a guy. On the face of things, both he and you are perfectly free to explore other options, too.

    The critical difference here is between dudes who are keeping it within the reason, and the ones who are simply on the permanent lookout in order to quench the unquenchable thirst...

    Cut some slack for the former, and eliminate the latter right away.

    SC
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jan 03, 2015 8:02 AM GMT
    BloodFlame said
    Do you think it's a good idea to date someone while being on the lookout for other people?

    NO .... Bad Karma
  • PE_Mike

    Posts: 75

    Jan 03, 2015 8:11 AM GMT
    it takes time to get to know someone, and most guys are looking for a fuck, not a relationship (often they have that already, be it friends, a life partner, family or actual wife).

    we're enculturated to compete for 'scarce' resources (a Rolls Royce, a "real" jock, the hottest guy or girl) - often times, good looking people are as much a victim of their shallow physicality as their 'playmates'.

    timing is the key to music, life and great food - knowing when to stop "friending" and commit to trying to give a relationship a go, is a two way street. Both must want it and be ready, not just one - and even then, it can easily go south when boredom or the truth sets in

    why so serious? eventually, we all get what we give - players get played, and anyone in sales knows that salesmen are more likely than anyone else to fall for a pitch. smile, snog a lot and save sex for those you choose to be worth it.
  • christastic

    Posts: 376

    Jan 03, 2015 9:07 AM GMT
    mindgarden saidyou can go on dates with more than one person at a time. There is no commitment implied. yes, I have encountered a few of those crazy clingy people who think that showing up for a first date is somehow a marriage contract. I imagine those people never have a second date.


    Hyperbole suggests guilt ;)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 03, 2015 4:09 PM GMT
    It's definitely not positive but neither is falling so hard for someone you can't see that they only see you as an option. I've never been in the situation before some guys get like that just from chatting on Grindr and the like so I can imagine what it'd be like in person.
  • MarvelClimber

    Posts: 511

    Jan 03, 2015 6:05 PM GMT
    Dating is just that...seeing if you're compatible with someone. Some people are serial daters and don't want to commit to anything. Some people are dating to look for something long-term. Both are fine as long as intentions are made clear.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 03, 2015 7:29 PM GMT
    My thoughts: I think this happens when people don't ask the right questions like, "what are we? a couple dating exclusively, or friends with benefits?" In my experience, both parties are often aware of the "stringing along" but the guy with the least power doesn't want to rock the boat hoping he can win the guy over with time.

    I have mixed feelings on this. I don't like the idea of trying to win anyone over... either we click or we don't. On the other hand, patience and getting to know someone over time make a HUGE difference. I've seen many young relationships sputter in the beginning, then break off completely, then get back together for good years down the road. People are complicated.
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Jan 03, 2015 9:07 PM GMT
    MarvelClimber saidDating is just that...seeing if you're compatible with someone. Some people are serial daters and don't want to commit to anything. Some people are dating to look for something long-term. Both are fine as long as intentions are made clear.


    Sure but a lot of the time, it isn't made clear.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 04, 2015 12:25 AM GMT
    BloodFlame said
    MarvelClimber saidDating is just that...seeing if you're compatible with someone. Some people are serial daters and don't want to commit to anything. Some people are dating to look for something long-term. Both are fine as long as intentions are made clear.


    Sure but a lot of the time, it isn't made clear.


    That is why you often hear that the key to any good relationship is COMMUNICATION!

    Even if you get a vague answer you KNOW what the answer is.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 04, 2015 12:26 AM GMT
    In other words, You have to fake it to be with someone whom you don't truly like. Lol, I don't think I can do it. It's like either the guy turn me on and make me want to commit or he doesn't. Dating is about trial and error, find out what you're comfortable with. Lol, no wonder I'm single after my ex for a while.

    In any relationship, there will be one person who's into it more deep than the other guy. It's wrong to use and milk the guy you date to the core and dump him for someone better. But be careful, the guy you dump may get really jealous and make your life hell. The minute you want out, you two should talk and end it in a civil way if that what you both want.
  • hottt1980

    Posts: 50

    Jan 04, 2015 1:19 AM GMT
    It's wrong on so many different levels. But if they pattern themselves after real animals of the wild, some view it as normal behavior. In my frame of thought, KARMA is a bitch. Always do right by people regardless of how hard it is.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 04, 2015 1:46 AM GMT
    Yes I do.

    Like this:

    shame85-cntws-b58da9.jpg
  • buddycat

    Posts: 1874

    Jan 04, 2015 1:49 AM GMT
    They would be gone fast. If you feel you can get better, go get bettericon_exclaim.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 04, 2015 4:23 AM GMT
    Oh, so many people are moving to Texas, I won't hire a person until I see a whole bunch of candidates. Better yet, I'll make the jobs contract jobs and the Hire At Will Law is on my side. I can have all the candy I want.

    Oh, so many people move to NYC, why settle down when there are so many men and so little time?

    This habit breeds itself into relationships such that the relationships have to be open.

    The destruction of people's self-esteem and the destruction of and the failure to grow communities because people are so disposable and stuck in the window shopping phase is what's going on.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 04, 2015 2:40 PM GMT
    yeah this vid sums it up pretty much!



    society and all. y'know

    but hey if you know better!

    anyway you don't have to settle for someone you don't feel a great connection with. just don't play with people's feelings, cos that's not nice.


  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 04, 2015 4:00 PM GMT
    See what Solar System Matrix as God has to say about it.

    1) Know yourself astrologically.
    2) Know each other astrologically.
    3) Do a synastry chart to see how each of you affect each other.
    4) Do a composite chart to see the relationship you two create.

    Put God first.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 04, 2015 6:02 PM GMT
    I used to have a male cat that loved playing with string. We both had a great time.