"Your Loss"

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 06, 2015 9:28 PM GMT
    What is the logic behind the "your loss" response?

    - Is it a way to show you have the emotional maturity of a teenager who can't deal with rejection?
    - Is it a way to express discontent with the fact that not everyone is into you?
    - Is it an attempt to somehow take revenge on the rejector by supposedly causing some guilt for letting you go?
    - Is it a form of self-consolation?
    - All of the above?

    Resentment and spitefulness exist in all of humanity, but this response seems to be idiomatic in United States, or anglophone countries at most. I never got such response from someone speaking other languages. Not even an idiomatic equivalent. Is it telling of something in United States culture?
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    Jan 06, 2015 10:10 PM GMT
    I think that this statement requires the user to be insecure on some level. Many might think this when they're rejected etc. but to feel the need to say it aloud to the person means something different entirely. If I was turned down, it may very well be his loss. But if I need to tell him that, what was the purpose? He's not going to change his mind, and if he did I wouldn't take him, so what was the point? It's confidence to think this, insecure with oneself to say it. Validation is something we as human beings are always seeking, even subconsciously. A mature individual comfortable with themselves wouldn't need to voice their opinion on the matter. What you think is irrelevant; he's already decided he's not interested. Leave it at that.
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    Jan 06, 2015 10:33 PM GMT
    He probably had a big dick and it was "your loss" that you didn't get to have fun with that slab of meat.
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    Jan 06, 2015 10:36 PM GMT
    How about snappy comebacks?


    He: "Remember my name, you'll be screaming it out later."

    Me: Yeah, as is "Godammit, Joe, get off my fucking property before I call the police!"


    Or


    He: (after I rejected his offer to go back to his place)
    "I'll have you know I can have any man in here I please."


    Me: (looking around the bar) "Apparently, you don't please any of them."
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jan 06, 2015 10:41 PM GMT
    Lumpyoatmeal saidHe probably had a big dick and it was "your loss" that you didn't get to have fun with that slab of meat.

    Ouch. Now that leaves a gaping void that's hard to fill.icon_twisted.gif
  • Tig3r

    Posts: 139

    Jan 06, 2015 11:21 PM GMT
    I had a guy give me the "Your Loss" before when I was not interested in meeting him. The only thing I said was "Not really a loss, you messaged me, I was not interested, the only thing I loss was time telling you my day.
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Jan 08, 2015 4:26 AM GMT
    Whenever I get turned down, I never say that. But I've gotten before along with some not so nice terms.

    It probably is insecurity but what are you expecting? Do you want them to feel like shit after you reject him?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 08, 2015 6:38 AM GMT
    It is a coping mechanism.
    Secretly, a lot of us would run back into the arms of our exes if they came back calling.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jan 08, 2015 7:16 AM GMT
    Obviously it is a snub, such as:
    You'll never know what you're missing.

    Perhaps a better line is:
    Man, did I dodge a bullet icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 08, 2015 8:05 AM GMT
    it oozes confidence to me, sometimes i'll even say no just to hear what's next (i.e. "your loss") and then say yes again and then maybe change my mind to see how thirsty they are, and if they're really thirsty, i'll definitely say no, because then it wasn't confidence, it was just bitterness.


    i'm also an easily intimidated person..very insecure.. so when i hear things like that, i'm very afraid to say no again to someone else, cause i don't want to hear "your loss" it brings my emotions more down than they already are and DESTROYS whatever confidence i have

    since i have no confidence, it's probably why i find confidence so damn sexy
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 08, 2015 8:27 AM GMT
    All the people who have a problem with the response of "your loss" are simply narcistic losers with a severely over inflated sense of self. If the guy you reject has the self confidence to realise it's not me just me its you as well then those people who reject then object to a legitimate response need to look deep into their soul and ask why do you feel so offended by a confident response from a man you rejected. Or is it the case you want to make him miserable for Daring to approach your precious ass. Maybe your the type who is a 'midler' refering to the terrible song From a distance.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 08, 2015 8:30 AM GMT
    icon_biggrin.gif
    AMoonHawk saidObviously it is a snub, such as:
    You'll never know what you're missing.

    Perhaps a better line is:
    Man, did I dodge a bullet icon_biggrin.gif


    I like that one awesome
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 08, 2015 3:34 PM GMT
    Sydneyrugbyjock73 saidAll the people who have a problem with the response of "your loss" are simply narcistic losers with a severely over inflated sense of self.


    I would say exactly this of people who give this response. Not only that, but also selfish, because they can only think in terms of what they like. They are too selfish to recognize that it takes two to tango - if one doesn't want to be part of it, there's no dance. Move on.

    If a very attractive woman hits on you, not knowing you're gay, then you say you're gay, she says "your loss", is this response factual? No, you're gay, so it's definitely not your loss. The same goes for anyone you're not into, regardless of the reason.
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    Jan 08, 2015 3:35 PM GMT
    LeoSk saidit oozes confidence to me, sometimes i'll even say no just to hear what's next (i.e. "your loss") and then say yes again and then maybe change my mind to see how thirsty they are, and if they're really thirsty, i'll definitely say no, because then it wasn't confidence, it was just bitterness.


    i'm also an easily intimidated person..very insecure.. so when i hear things like that, i'm very afraid to say no again to someone else, cause i don't want to hear "your loss" it brings my emotions more down than they already are and DESTROYS whatever confidence i have

    since i have no confidence, it's probably why i find confidence so damn sexy


    There is nothing confident about this response. Confidence is knowing that not everyone will be into you and that if someone doesn't like you, someone else will. It's a simple display of narcissism, emotional immaturity, spitefulness, resentment, holier-than-thou self-consolation.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 10, 2015 12:42 AM GMT
    It's a very bold and audacious response to rejection, there's admiration in that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 10, 2015 1:51 AM GMT
    bachian said Confidence is knowing that not everyone will be into you and that if someone doesn't like you, someone else will. It's a simple display of narcissism, emotional immaturity, spitefulness, resentment, holier-than-thou self-consolation.


    Let's be honest. If you've been rejected, no matter how poised you normally are, some feelings of spitefulness and resentment will creep in.
    Most of the time you can conceal your feelings enough to avoid some snarky riposte. But if you've been stung enough, who knows?
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    Jan 10, 2015 8:40 PM GMT
    TexDef07 saidLet's be honest. If you've been rejected, no matter how poised you normally are, some feelings of spitefulness and resentment will creep in.
    Most of the time you can conceal your feelings enough to avoid some snarky riposte. But if you've been stung enough, who knows?


    If we are talking about the kind of rejection that happens on "hookup" apps or after one date, I don't see why should there be any anger or resentment. Rejection is routine. A break-up of a LTR is a totally different beast.

    In fact I'm very curious about what goes in someone's mind to feel angry with this kind of rejection. Why do you feel hurt?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 10, 2015 8:40 PM GMT
    LeoSk saidIt's a very bold and audacious response to rejection, there's admiration in that.


    You're too easily impressed... icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 10, 2015 9:17 PM GMT
    It's a response to sort of boost your confidence and ego back. I mean, we are all special in our own way. When a guy doesn't recognize that and reject you for no reason, then it's his loss. In some way, it's true because you don't truly know a person unless you're willing to take a risk and put yourself out there. Looks can only go so far.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 11, 2015 2:32 AM GMT
    LAXWill10 saidIt's a response to sort of boost your confidence and ego back. I mean, we are all special in our own way. When a guy doesn't recognize that and reject you for no reason, then it's his loss. In some way, it's true because you don't truly know a person unless you're willing to take a risk and put yourself out there. Looks can only go so far.


    Agree completely
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 11, 2015 4:35 AM GMT
    LAXWill10 saidIt's a response to sort of boost your confidence and ego back. I mean, we are all special in our own way. When a guy doesn't recognize that and reject you for no reason, then it's his loss. In some way, it's true because you don't truly know a person unless you're willing to take a risk and put yourself out there. Looks can only go so far.


    Why do you lose confidence in the first place? Rejection is routine. Most people I'm into are not into me. Just a normal fact of life. Why would I demonize someone just because he isn't into me? It makes no sense.
  • glowstik

    Posts: 150

    Jan 11, 2015 5:49 AM GMT
    It is your loss and I know it
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1116

    Jan 11, 2015 6:27 AM GMT
    I've come to the realization that people "have the right" to reject you, EVEN if you are the nicest guy in the world! to each its own! thank God I don't have an ego, inferiority, or superiority complex! accepting things as they are or as they come is the best way to deal with any kind of loss!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 12, 2015 8:09 AM GMT
    LEANDRO_NJ saidI've come to the realization that people "have the right" to reject you, EVEN if you are the nicest guy in the world! to each its own! thank God I don't have an ego, inferiority, or superiority complex! accepting things as they are or come is the best way to deal with any kind of loss!



    These high-ego guys are usually the ones that are painfully single, I mean, who want to deal with that?? icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 12, 2015 2:05 PM GMT
    LAXWill10 saidThese high-ego guys are usually the ones that are painfully single, I mean, who want to deal with that?? icon_rolleyes.gif


    These high-ego ones are the ones most likely to give "your loss" response because they are unable to accept it and only think in terms of themselves.