Why are most gay men single?

  • wesv

    Posts: 907

    Jan 07, 2015 9:42 PM GMT
    I already know why. There are several reasons. I just want your thoughts on this. What reasons can you think of?
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Jan 07, 2015 9:59 PM GMT
    I think mainly because it is easy to get laid. You can have sex and also your independence. And sexual variety which is fun. Partnering has its own rewards like love and companionship and more frequent sex that is really better but variety is hard to walk away from.
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    Jan 07, 2015 10:38 PM GMT
    gay has not been socially accepted till last few years. Marriage equality is just now becoming the law of the land.

    deep rooted personal opinions, both gay and straight will change more slowly. Once gay men find there are other options in life they may choose different. Right now they still find the PDA thingy difficult.
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    Jan 07, 2015 11:25 PM GMT
    - Too picky
    - Too set on a type
    - Too racist?? lol
    - Too busy with work, no time for dating
    - Too full of himself/yourself
    - High ego
    - Came off as a mean bitchy guy
    - I want a prince charming complex
    - He's not good enough for me
    - I'm not good enough for him
    - He's a strict bottom/top
    - Afraid of rejection
    - **Oh, I'm a straight closeted homo
    - **I only like straight guys effect
    - No money, i don't date poor guys
    - Gold diggers, I only date rich men
    - You're too old, short....etc.
    - Too fat, too skinny, too weird !!
    - Hard time accepting yourself as GAY
    - Small penis/ Size queen debate lol
    - Too many hot guys, I can't commit !! (guilty for me) lol icon_redface.gif

    and countless other reasons.....
    icon_redface.gif
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    Jan 07, 2015 11:39 PM GMT
    This is one of the best cocky line ever uttered on a dating site. OKC


    *****Moved from Utah to LA about a year ago to accept a job at a hospital. I have a graduate-level degree, a car, moral conscience, savings account, career aspirations, personal goals, and I floss daily. Now accepting applications from Prince Charming possessing similar credentials.


    Lol, He's cute though...but yeah ok most guys are not prince charming material??? lol
  • Tig3r

    Posts: 139

    Jan 08, 2015 1:04 AM GMT
    Some people are looking for perfection. Why settle with Prince Charming when Prince Williams has a Grindr and an Audi?

    A friend of mine was dating a guy that I thought was awesome; Smart, funny, attractive, Independent, great style. My friend broke up with him after they moved in together "His body just started to disgust me so I found someone else."
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    Jan 08, 2015 1:44 AM GMT
    'coz I want a rich, muscled guy with big ass who has a Phd in Deep Learning. I'm flexible with age as long as he is under 40.
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    Jan 08, 2015 1:50 AM GMT
    Do we even have reliable stats on this yet to say that most (I guess by most, you mean relative to str8 people) are single? What of all the downlow gays married to females. Do we get to count them on our side as being coupled?

    We don't even have a good grip yet on the percentage of gay population. They don't even quite know how to ask the questions yet.

    This study...

    http://www.nber.org/papers/w19508
    The Size of the LGBT Population and the Magnitude of Anti-Gay Sentiment are Substantially Underestimated


    ...found that 11% said they are not hetero when asked directly but that when asked in a veiled way 19% said they did not consider themselves hetero. Other studies cite something like 2% or whatever they say. So how do judge what percent is coupled if you don't know what you're taking a percent of?

    And if you look at the census stuff, it might look like more people are coupling as time goes on but that could just be more people admitting to being gay and coupled.

    Also some people are coupled and the partnership might not even be recognized. For 10 years I slept with my bud even in his homophobic mom's house but come breakfast time, pancake, denial and eggs were served: she thought we were just friends. My family knew us as partners but not his.

    And I've got a cousin currently in a female/female (though non-lesbian--go figure) relationship, together for I guess it must be 30 years or more already. Yet they would not get into the stats as being partnered. They're just two aging teachers who live together and would never forsake each other for any one else. Two women, living together for decades, loving each other, having no other intimacies in their lives, not considered partners. What the fuck?

    So without good data I don't know how good your conclusions might be. With that, I think you need to keep in mind that a lot of the guesswork is just that.
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    Jan 08, 2015 3:37 AM GMT
    So damn tired of not being "most" gay men.
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Jan 08, 2015 4:30 AM GMT
    dustin_K_tx saidSo damn tired of not being "most" gay men.


    What do you mean?
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    Jan 08, 2015 4:45 AM GMT
    BloodFlame said
    dustin_K_tx saidSo damn tired of not being "most" gay men.


    What do you mean?


    Unless we're talking about love of cock and or Cher, whenever somebody says "most gay men" I'm never included in the sweeping generalization.
    In this case, I've been in a monogamous relationship for over 15 years and the last time I checked there were over 5 thousand same sex households in Travis county alone, but then again you know how people lie to those damn census people.
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    Jan 08, 2015 4:49 AM GMT
    dustin_K_tx saidthe last time I checked there were over 5 thousand same sex households in Travis county

    It's a hotbed of lesbianism.
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    Jan 08, 2015 5:01 AM GMT
    Lumpyoatmeal said
    dustin_K_tx saidthe last time I checked there were over 5 thousand same sex households in Travis county

    It's a hotbed of lesbianism.

    explains the number of Land Rovers and Jeep CJ7 at Home Depot.
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    Jan 08, 2015 5:15 AM GMT
    Cause most gays are bottoms icon_lol.gif
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    Jan 08, 2015 5:19 AM GMT
    Coz most of you chase unattainable guys like me. True story.
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    Jan 08, 2015 5:33 AM GMT
    dustin_K_tx saidI'm never included in the sweeping generalization.


    Oh I have one for you. Guess that boat on your profile pic. I'm gonna guess, generally yet sweepingly, an Owens circa 1970ish about 30 ft. How'd I do?

    I googled a bit. Found some saying str8s are down to about 50% which would have been my guess and I'd guess that for us too or slightly less, given the various winds against us and just pulling some numbers out of thin air. I found one thing on an Australian census putting them at 58 I think it was and us at about 28 but I tend to not buy that only because it didn't seem to match my experience. And then I just found this which has some various numbers (I've no idea as to the quality of the numbers)...

    http://buddybuddy.com/surv-rel.html

    ...but if the guy was at all accurate he cites a number of different studies from the 1970s thru the 90s. And even back then they put us at between like 30 & 60% but the numbers are all over the place and I didn't look at the cited studies. Googling percent of gay men in relationship brings up almost nothing.

    This search...
    [url]http://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&q=percent+of+gay+in+relationship&btnG=&as_sdt=1%2C10&as_sdtp=[/url]

    comes up with...

    In surveys of gay men, between 40 percent and 60 percent of the men questioned were
    currently involved in a steady relationship
    (eg, Bell and Weinberg 1978; Harry 1983;
    Jay and Young 1977; Peplau and Cochran 1981; Spada 1979)
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    Jan 08, 2015 5:48 AM GMT
    Is it a crime to be single and gay? Everyone has different life plan and goal, cest la vie.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 08, 2015 6:03 AM GMT
    dang
    could have just asked for a link:
    http://www.statesman.com/news/news/local/numbers-of-same-sex-couples-rise-in-central-texa-1/nRd7s/

    Wasn't necessarily the point...

    btw
    Close--1977 36' Chris Craft Commander
  • Wendigo9

    Posts: 426

    Jan 08, 2015 6:29 AM GMT
    Most gay men single, huh? think it's because if you're versatile like me, it's hard to be tied down and have the same sex over and over. Either we like variety or still looking for that one perfect guy, tough call really.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jan 08, 2015 8:26 AM GMT
    Pretty simple
    Because they were previously NOT Single
    So they are more cautious the next time around, however, they do not have the luxuary that straight people do, in which the opportunities to meet someone straight in this world, in real life, are about 99%, where as for gay people it is probably less than 1%, thus, the very reason they resort to gay bars and on line hookups
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    Jan 08, 2015 9:10 AM GMT
    The culture most gay men live by but not all is about attaining the next one who will make them happier than they felt they were with the last partner. Another way of Puting it is that the tendency to be more interested in sexual pleasure than a real connection with a potential partner is all too prevalent resulting in more gay men being single than our hetero or lesbian counterparts
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 08, 2015 9:42 AM GMT
    I think the main reason why I'm single at the moment. Well, several factors. I had about 2-3 failed relationships in the past. I'm a little fearful and had kind of a wall up. I have trust issues? lol, And the kind of guys that want to get serious, I'm not into them. And I just like a certain kind of boy. Guess, I'm holding out for the right man?? At the same time, i realize that i'm not perfect, it's okay to work on yourself and be celibate and not be a whore. Lol, I've done a lot of dudes already. icon_redface.gificon_biggrin.gif But yeah, deep down, when I like someone, it gets intense and I get kinda shy and I want him to make the first move. Argg, I'm just rambling now.
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    Jan 08, 2015 3:10 PM GMT
    wesv saidI already know why. There are several reasons. I just want your thoughts on this. What reasons can you think of?


    We are what we eat. If guys gorge themselves on a constant diet of hookups, I do not see how they can ever build the ability to have a meaningful relationship.

    My experience when I was single: Gay guys simply do not understand themselves enough to know what they want. Consequently they have all these prerequisites as one poster has already listed. We laugh about it, but it is very true.
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    Jan 08, 2015 7:19 PM GMT
    Because the male of the species is programmed to have as much sex as possible to perpetuate the species. Paring up ensures the survival of his offspring. Love (chemically induced btw) ensures he pairs up. Gay men are programmed the same way but do not produce offspring so there is no real reason to pair up.

    It is as simple as that.

    VIVE LA DICK!
  • Tig3r

    Posts: 139

    Jan 08, 2015 8:10 PM GMT
    I'm single because I am way too picky lmao!