My friends are finding out that I like guys

  • cometbro

    Posts: 27

    Jan 11, 2015 11:19 PM GMT
    Someone else told my friends and teammates that I like guys who gives him the right to take that from me? what should I do?
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    Jan 11, 2015 11:24 PM GMT
    Did you confront that person?
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    Jan 11, 2015 11:38 PM GMT
    Someone let the cat out of the bag?
    Let-the-Cat-Out-of-the-Bag-Humor.jpeg

    That can be really heavy, but if you don't want it to wind up at one of the deadly pounds
    krqe-39-pound-cat-sf-animal-humane-bd_20

    You might have to claim it
    funny-cat-hugging-baby-claimed-tiny-huma

    Hopefully it won't turn into a catastrophe
    catastrophe.jpg

    I'm not actually a cat person. I prefer puppy dogs.

    But, that certainly sucks though there's not a lot you can do from there but to man up and don't be a pussy. Good luck.
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    Jan 12, 2015 4:56 PM GMT
    This is an issue that I struggle with. On one hand, it's nobody's business. On the other hand, when you tell people, do they have to agree to lie or pretend that you are straight or can they just tell the truth? I think it also depends on how they told others. Did it just come up? Was someone trying to hook you up with one of their friends? Maybe others already assumed and your friend just didn't deny it?
  • Koaa2

    Posts: 1556

    Jan 12, 2015 5:56 PM GMT
    Probably time to come out to everyone yourself before it just gets passed around. It will be worth it. Besides people in MN are pretty cool. From Duluth here originally.
  • Svnw688

    Posts: 3350

    Jan 12, 2015 6:01 PM GMT
    Everyone's situation is different.

    Having said that, I found that coming out was not a big deal at all for those around me. I'd made it this earth-shattering thing but it was much-ado about nothing. Nobody really cared, and if they cared, they liked that I was gay and came-out. I know it sounds flippant, but to an extent it's 'fun and trendy' to come out now, so I'd imagine your friends and family will think it's cool. At least I hope.

    Best wishes.
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    Jan 12, 2015 6:38 PM GMT
    Same thing happened to me. It only made me want to come out even faster to my friends so that they learn it from me and not from someone else.

    Like it or not, the word will be spread faster than you think
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    Jan 12, 2015 6:44 PM GMT
    I told my mother. She pushed me to tell more of my siblings than I had already. I don't like being pushed do told her I'd tell when I was ready. She went and told them. They've barely talked to me since.

    But here in Montreal (just moved 6 months ago) I was never really in the closet so if colleagues find out without me telling them directly it's fine.

    So... it depends!
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jan 12, 2015 6:50 PM GMT
    Put on your rainbow colored bracelet and own it icon_biggrin.gif

    il_570xN.452501339_ojau.jpg
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    Jan 12, 2015 7:45 PM GMT
    Hang out with a chick for a few days. In the mean time, decide when to come out or not. At least, it will stop the gossips for a while.
  • cometbro

    Posts: 27

    Jan 12, 2015 10:58 PM GMT
    I was on a sports team until this happened, I'm bisexual and I just don't want to be the "gay on the team" no matter how people accept it I just wanted to be an average not special teammate. It's already rough enough being one of the few blacks in my sport now I have to find a new team.
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    Jan 13, 2015 1:13 AM GMT
    cometbro saidI was on a sports team until this happened, I'm bisexual and I just don't want to be the "gay on the team" no matter how people accept it I just wanted to be an average not special teammate. It's already rough enough being one of the few blacks in my sport now I have to find a new team.


    Just as long as you recognize that it's totally your choice to be on the team and to define yourself. Sometimes the best way to be "an average not special teammate" is to just be yourself, like everyone else on the team is being themselves.
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    Jan 13, 2015 6:04 AM GMT
    Quit running away from who you are....stay on the team and MAN UP on this. Not sure how your team mates feel about someone gossiping and outing you....so either confirm it or deny it....but "cut out the legs" of your former friend by taking control of your personal information.
    And...well...do you suck dick or not? Does it really matter if you are the token on the team? it seems YOU are making a much bigger deal of your orientation and race, than your team mates are....give them some credit and benefit of the doubt, until they prove it one way or the other....but your former buddy with the big mouth....needs his ass beat!icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Tafita

    Posts: 1

    Jan 13, 2015 8:37 PM GMT
    At this point it seems its just a rumour, you can either confirm it and start living a life without fear, deny it or just ignore them. You should also consider telling the rumour monger where to get off.
  • PT_Focus

    Posts: 24

    Jan 13, 2015 9:09 PM GMT
    honestly man thats exactly how i felt. I mean its your journey and private part of your life to share. I actually told them i was upset and how it made me feel. If they are your friends they will completely understand.

    Its different when someone knows just cause they are that good, and when you tell someone and they tell people.

    confront them and tell them this is your story to tell not theirs. cause each of us has a different way of telling different people!

    Good luck man!
  • davfit

    Posts: 309

    Jan 14, 2015 4:04 AM GMT
    its good thing in a way ..Your Real friends will shine through
    the others can fade away.. they were false all along
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    Jan 14, 2015 4:09 AM GMT
    musclesbuilder saidHang out with a chick for a few days. In the mean time, decide when to come out or not. At least, it will stop the gossips for a while.


    Worst advice ever. icon_rolleyes.gif Stop encouraging the guy to live in shame. Be yourself and anybody that doesn't like it tell them to go fuck a duck.
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    Jan 14, 2015 4:10 AM GMT
    That guy is an ass hole. Outing someone is never cool but at the same time you should be positive and take this as an opportunity to be who you are. Good luck and try not to be too self conscious after all you can't hide who you are forever.
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    Jan 14, 2015 3:41 PM GMT
    Nothing, but if you don't want anyone to know... don't tell anyone.
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    Jan 14, 2015 7:10 PM GMT
    Radd said
    musclesbuilder saidHang out with a chick for a few days. In the mean time, decide when to come out or not. At least, it will stop the gossips for a while.


    Worst advice ever. icon_rolleyes.gif Stop encouraging the guy to live in shame. Be yourself and anybody that doesn't like it tell them to go fuck a duck.



    I am not encouraging him. Just telling him that whatever he decides he should take a little time and takes the best of the situation.icon_cool.gif
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    Jan 17, 2015 1:42 AM GMT
    TomSOCAL said
    AMoonHawk saidPut on your rainbow colored bracelet and own it icon_biggrin.gif

    il_570xN.452501339_ojau.jpg


    Where did u get that. I'd love to wear that when I'm not around my lds and fundamentalist associates.

    Being open and out is context dependent.


    I think you have a poor grasp on the concept of being "out." icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Rene_Aensland

    Posts: 2495

    Jan 17, 2015 9:02 AM GMT
    Oh no, a grown ass man worried that his mom will find out he's into buttsecks.
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    Jan 17, 2015 9:04 AM GMT
    cometbro saidI was on a sports team until this happened, I'm bisexual and I just don't want to be the "gay on the team" no matter how people accept it I just wanted to be an average not special teammate. It's already rough enough being one of the few blacks in my sport now I have to find a new team.


    I'm just going to borrow this comment and use it as an example.