Porn in a relationship?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 13, 2015 12:13 AM GMT
    I have a boyfriend of about 5 months. We've been talking about our sex life lately and yesterday we discussed watching porn together. We were about to have sex that night and he couldn't keep hard enough to penetrate me.

    He asked if I wanted to watch porn with him. I said sure. He chose the video and started playing it. I immediately felt uncomfortable but I didn't want to say anything as I wanted to give it a chance. He started masturbating and was finally hard enough to penetrate.

    He was topping me and he continued watching it while having sex with me. He didn't kiss me. He didn't talk dirty to me at all and he came really fast.

    I then went to the restroom and cleaned up and I felt stupid afterwards. I felt like I was just a sex object to him at the time. I still feel horrible about. It. I got out of the restroom and he asked me if I liked it. I said that I didn't and I started crying like a little b****. He apologized and said we didn't need to do that again if I wasn't comfortable.

    I would want to please his fantasies by being able to have sex with porn but I don't know how I can do it without feeling like an object or having the feeling of inadequacy.

    I need help. How can I do this without getting upset.
  • aaron123dodo

    Posts: 28

    Jan 13, 2015 1:25 AM GMT

    You would have to adopt a different mentality, that's what fantasies are about. Be it doctors cops or something like watching porn together --- the point of fantasy is in the "experience other than one's self".

    Dig deep! Everyone has different sides, because everyone has SEEN different sides to people. Be it a naughty child, a hormone-raging beast, a good-for-nothing scumbag, or all of the above. Sometimes you call it "making love", and other times it's "fucking". The difference is simply the mentality, and once you can master the changing of your own mentality, you'd generally be much happier and at ease not only in bed but around everything else in life.
  • theonewhoknoc...

    Posts: 713

    Jan 13, 2015 1:38 AM GMT
    Next time you have sex, ask him if you run a slideshow of facebook pics of a hot mutual friend while you're going at it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 13, 2015 12:53 PM GMT
    It's actually getting more common so It may not be just you. Maybe try to start it out with porn you both like then position him once you start getting amorous so that he can't see it but maybe can hear it.

    If it disturbs you he is watching it while getting it on with you it maybe that you need to explore that within yourself as sometimes our egos get in the way. Your not alone with that in fact probably in the majority

    Also consider speaking to him what it is he finds so alluring about porn as it might be just a hint to spice it up or change it up a bit so see if you can't find common ground that will meet his fantasy without it impacting on how you feel about sex with him. Remember to make sure you do this at the right moment and both begin non-judgemental. It can be difficult to do that if you or he lack self confidence but if you manage it you will have developed a very strong relationship

    Personally I find most porn either overly cliche'd and ho hum or excessively kinky but I realise that everyone has different things that turn them on and they don't stay the same over time.

    Could also be that he is one who thinks the grass is greener elsewhere and you'll soon know if you try the above or something like that and he gets weird about it
  • ryguy2124

    Posts: 3

    Jan 19, 2015 4:50 AM GMT
    Sydneyrugbyjock73 saidIt's actually getting more common so It may not be just you. Maybe try to start it out with porn you both like then position him once you start getting amorous so that he can't see it but maybe can hear it.

    If it disturbs you he is watching it while getting it on with you it maybe that you need to explore that within yourself as sometimes our egos get in the way. Your not alone with that in fact probably in the majority

    Also consider speaking to him what it is he finds so alluring about porn as it might be just a hint to spice it up or change it up a bit so see if you can't find common ground that will meet his fantasy without it impacting on how you feel about sex with him. Remember to make sure you do this at the right moment and both begin non-judgemental. It can be difficult to do that if you or he lack self confidence but if you manage it you will have developed a very strong relationship

    Personally I find most porn either overly cliche'd and ho hum or excessively kinky but I realise that everyone has different things that turn them on and they don't stay the same over time.

    Could also be that he is one who thinks the grass is greener elsewhere and you'll soon know if you try the above or something like that and he gets weird about it


    I agree with this. Also consider the fact that after 5 months the "honeymoon" stage is dwindling and your sex life with your boyfriend, which once was really new and exciting, is now getting a little stale. It sounds terrible, but it isn't a bad thing, it just may mean that you two have to work a little harder or try something different in the bedroom.