Whats with gays denying the existence of bisexuals?

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    Jan 14, 2015 3:23 AM GMT
    Many think bisexuality is not real but a form of denial that will end with the guy accepting he's gay, but how do you explain men that are sexually and romantically attracted to women and have experienced the same with a guy before? How can sexuality be only black or white?
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 872

    Jan 14, 2015 6:01 AM GMT
    Denying bisexuality falls under the tenant of free speech.

    People are prone to denying anything they usually do not like or perceive as not being in their best interest.

    The key issue of bisexuality is that for many people it does not functionally exist.

    Within your usual m2m context, the fact that this other dude may or may not be interested in women is something that really does not affect me.

    Equally so, within his m2f context, his interest in other men is usually kept secret, so for the woman involved, her bf is a perfectly str8 guy.

    No doubt, gay dudes play for our team. Str8 dudes do it for theirs. The bi dudes are more frequently switching sides than playing with other bi-folks...

    SC
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jan 14, 2015 6:03 AM GMT
    David3K saidMany think bisexuality is not real but a form of denial that will end with the guy accepting he's gay, but how do you explain men that are sexually and romantically attracted to women and have experienced the same with a guy before? How can sexuality be only black or white?

    Horny Mother Fuckers
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    Jan 14, 2015 4:07 PM GMT
    if you think that bisexuality is a real thing, that's all that matters. not who agrees with you. not who disagrees with you. just your own thoughts.
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    Jan 14, 2015 4:26 PM GMT

    Of course there are bisexuals. Good grief, are we rediscovering fire or something? Rofl!

    The problem, David, is that many gay people, in their struggle to come to terms with themselves, often go through a phase of considering themselves bi as they slowly drop denial and embrace self acceptance. This gives other gays and straights as well the idea that there is no Bi.

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    Jan 14, 2015 4:37 PM GMT
    meninlove said... Good grief, are we rediscovering fire or something...


    this is realjock honey
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    Jan 14, 2015 4:38 PM GMT
    pellaz said
    meninlove said... Good grief, are we rediscovering fire or something...


    this is realjock honey


    LOL! and touche!

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    Jan 14, 2015 4:41 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    pellaz said
    meninlove said... Good grief, are we rediscovering fire or something...


    this is realjock honey


    LOL! and touche!



    X1
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    Jan 14, 2015 5:00 PM GMT
    willular saidif you think that bisexuality is a real thing, that's all that matters. not who agrees with you. not who disagrees with you. just your own thoughts.


    Who said I care about what others think? I'm just curious to know why many gays deny the existence of it.
  • Inque

    Posts: 517

    Jan 14, 2015 5:01 PM GMT
    Full Disclosure: I'm very hungover

    The reason a lot of gay men deny bisexuality in men is because there is a large fragment of gay men myself included who envy the fluidity and ability to pass for heterosexual that many bisexuals possess. Most gay men had a harrowing experience coming out of the closet be it external or internal. By the same token many bisexual men have not gone through the same process because many assume their interests in women negates or overshadows their interest in men. So therefore many don't actually come to terms with their sexuality until later in life.

    Because of that there is a large portion of men who have lived largely heterosexual lives and do not define themselves so tightly to their same sex loving side as many gay identified men do. In fact I would wager that a lot of gay men behave and model the way they because of the lack of being able to develop their own personalities outside of being gay. For so long our society has quickly and harshly labeled gay men to be one set way that many either go along with it or some do not come out at all. So you also have the envy of these men who wish like most bisexual men they could be their own person outside of their sexuality.

    Then there is the fear of the idea of a bisexual man choosing a woman over them. This can be very devastating to many gay men because of the lack of sexual partners and the commonheld idea that love is hard to find in the gay community. A bisexual man choosing a woman can be seen as him 'rejecting' his gay side and therefore the gay men who may want to be with him. In a way this is interesting because many gay men will avoid a bisexual man with a wife or girlfriend but have no apprehension about getting with a man with a husband or boyfriend. This is because a large portion of gay men do not respect gay relationships because they have been taught not to respect gay men and therefore they do not respect themselves.
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    Jan 14, 2015 5:02 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    Of course there are bisexuals. Good grief, are we rediscovering fire or something? Rofl!

    The problem, David, is that many gay people, in their struggle to come to terms with themselves, often go through a phase of considering themselves bi as they slowly drop denial and embrace self acceptance. This gives other gays and straights as well the idea that there is no Bi.



    I know there are bisexuals, its not me you have to convince. The second part of your replies makes sense, that's my theory too, however I find people why that views to be very obtuse.
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    Jan 14, 2015 5:04 PM GMT
    I don't deny bisexuals, or unicorns and compassionate conservatives. I also believe in jesus, freedom of speech and easter bunnies. Oh and Santa. I believe in Santa too. Asian tops, I also believe they exist.
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    Jan 14, 2015 5:04 PM GMT
    smartmoney saidI don't deny bisexuals, or unicorns and compassionate conservatives. I also believe in jesus, freedom of speech and easter bunnies. Oh and Santa. I believe in Santa too. Asian tops, I also believe they exist.


    I believe in worthless replies, you're the proof of their existence.
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    Jan 14, 2015 5:07 PM GMT
    Inque saidFull Disclosure: I'm very hungover

    The reason a lot of gay men deny bisexuality in men is because there is a large fragment of gay men myself included who envy the fluidity and ability to pass for heterosexual that many bisexuals possess. Most gay men had a harrowing experience coming out of the closet be it external or internal. By the same token many bisexual men have not gone through the same process because many assume their interests in women negates or overshadows their interest in men. So therefore many don't actually come to terms with their sexuality until later in life.

    Because of that there is a large portion of men who have lived largely heterosexual lives and do not define themselves so tightly to their same sex loving side as many gay identified men do. In fact I would wager that a lot of gay men behave and model the way they because of the lack of being able to develop their own personalities outside of being gay. For so long our society has quickly and harshly labeled gay men to be one set way that many either go along with it or some do not come out at all. So you also have the envy of these men who wish like most bisexual men they could be their own person outside of their sexuality.

    Then there is the fear of the idea of a bisexual man choosing a woman over them. This can be very devastating to many gay men because of the lack of sexual partners and the commonheld idea that love is hard to find in the gay community. A bisexual man choosing a woman can be seen as him 'rejecting' his gay side and therefore the gay men who may want to be with him. In a way this is interesting because many gay men will avoid a bisexual man with a wife or girlfriend but have no apprehension about getting with a man with a husband or boyfriend. This is because a large portion of gay men do not respect gay relationships because they have been taught not to respect gay men and therefore they do not respect themselves.


    Your reply is actually interesting and coherent, might be the alcohol.
  • Inque

    Posts: 517

    Jan 14, 2015 5:08 PM GMT
    Again I'm still having roughly a pound of alcohol in my system but most of the men I am attracted to are either heterosexual, bi-curious or bisexual and I actively seek them out despite knowing that eventually they will leave me.
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    Jan 14, 2015 7:11 PM GMT
    I denied bisexuality for years. Girls brought the sexy boyfriends to the GLA meetings. Invariably he was bisexual. Yuck. Recently I started dating a bisexual guy. He was quite upfront with me about his sexuality. He has a girlfriend. I've had to reevaluate long held erroneous beliefs.
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    Jan 14, 2015 7:15 PM GMT
    Inque saidFull Disclosure: I'm very hungover

    The reason a lot of gay men deny bisexuality in men is because there is a large fragment of gay men myself included who envy the fluidity and ability to pass for heterosexual that many bisexuals possess. Most gay men had a harrowing experience coming out of the closet be it external or internal. By the same token many bisexual men have not gone through the same process because many assume their interests in women negates or overshadows their interest in men. So therefore many don't actually come to terms with their sexuality until later in life.

    Because of that there is a large portion of men who have lived largely heterosexual lives and do not define themselves so tightly to their same sex loving side as many gay identified men do. In fact I would wager that a lot of gay men behave and model the way they because of the lack of being able to develop their own personalities outside of being gay. For so long our society has quickly and harshly labeled gay men to be one set way that many either go along with it or some do not come out at all. So you also have the envy of these men who wish like most bisexual men they could be their own person outside of their sexuality.

    Then there is the fear of the idea of a bisexual man choosing a woman over them. This can be very devastating to many gay men because of the lack of sexual partners and the commonheld idea that love is hard to find in the gay community. A bisexual man choosing a woman can be seen as him 'rejecting' his gay side and therefore the gay men who may want to be with him. In a way this is interesting because many gay men will avoid a bisexual man with a wife or girlfriend but have no apprehension about getting with a man with a husband or boyfriend. This is because a large portion of gay men do not respect gay relationships because they have been taught not to respect gay men and therefore they do not respect themselves.


    This proves you are smart... so why do you act crazzzzyyy ?

    Anyway this entire post sums up why gays don't like bi's and we we tend to not want to date them... why is this so hard to understand ?
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    Jan 14, 2015 8:04 PM GMT
    Inque said
    Then there is the fear of the idea of a bisexual man choosing a woman over them. This can be very devastating to many gay men because of the lack of sexual partners and the commonheld idea that love is hard to find in the gay community. A bisexual man choosing a woman can be seen as him 'rejecting' his gay side and therefore the gay men who may want to be with him. In a way this is interesting because many gay men will avoid a bisexual man with a wife or girlfriend but have no apprehension about getting with a man with a husband or boyfriend. This is because a large portion of gay men do not respect gay relationships because they have been taught not to respect gay men and therefore they do not respect themselves.


    I really, really don't understand this at all. For me, the idea of a guy leaving me for a guy or a guy leaving me for a girl makes no difference what so ever.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Jan 14, 2015 8:09 PM GMT
    willular said
    Inque said
    Then there is the fear of the idea of a bisexual man choosing a woman over them. This can be very devastating to many gay men because of the lack of sexual partners and the commonheld idea that love is hard to find in the gay community. A bisexual man choosing a woman can be seen as him 'rejecting' his gay side and therefore the gay men who may want to be with him. In a way this is interesting because many gay men will avoid a bisexual man with a wife or girlfriend but have no apprehension about getting with a man with a husband or boyfriend. This is because a large portion of gay men do not respect gay relationships because they have been taught not to respect gay men and therefore they do not respect themselves.


    I really, really don't understand this at all. For me, the idea of a guy leaving me for a guy or a guy leaving me for a girl makes no difference what so ever.

    There's a lot more societal pressure on a bi to go the straight route. And the prospect of kids is genetically driven and strong. At least for many.
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    Jan 14, 2015 8:23 PM GMT


    This has got to be a joke:

    "In fact I would wager that a lot of gay men behave and model the way they because of the lack of being able to develop their own personalities outside of being gay. For so long our society has quickly and harshly labeled gay men to be one set way that many either go along with it or some do not come out at all. So you also have the envy of these men who wish like most bisexual men they could be their own person outside of their sexuality.


    The bold is most hilarious thing I've read today. And rather untrue, although I guess it applies to the OP.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jan 14, 2015 8:27 PM GMT
    I think some men feel that bi and trans people are just gay people with an identity crisis. I don't think that way, but I offer it as an explanation for why many seem impatient with bi or transgendered people, as though they see them as nothing more than stubbornly closeted gay men.
  • Inque

    Posts: 517

    Jan 14, 2015 9:48 PM GMT
    willular said
    Inque said
    Then there is the fear of the idea of a bisexual man choosing a woman over them. This can be very devastating to many gay men because of the lack of sexual partners and the commonheld idea that love is hard to find in the gay community. A bisexual man choosing a woman can be seen as him 'rejecting' his gay side and therefore the gay men who may want to be with him. In a way this is interesting because many gay men will avoid a bisexual man with a wife or girlfriend but have no apprehension about getting with a man with a husband or boyfriend. This is because a large portion of gay men do not respect gay relationships because they have been taught not to respect gay men and therefore they do not respect themselves.


    I really, really don't understand this at all. For me, the idea of a guy leaving me for a guy or a guy leaving me for a girl makes no difference what so ever.


    Well to me if a guy leaves me for another guy I mean that sucks but eh I can get over it. Leaving me for a woman? So basically he's leaving me to be straight have all the things I cannot give him. It's like a rejection of everything I am.
  • Hjalmar

    Posts: 97

    Jan 14, 2015 10:47 PM GMT
    This is just my point of view of course...

    Because it reminds of the time, when it was so cool to date a pretty girl and all the other guys were so jealous of it. That is what being a bi is all about, acting in general. Of course sexually there are men, who like to eat the whole cake so to speak, but gays don´t care about that anymore. It´s ugly and pitiful! That's why gays dislike bis.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2015 10:48 PM GMT
    Hjalmar saidThis is just my point of view of course...

    Because it reminds of the time, when it was so cool to date a pretty girl and all the other guys were so jealous of it. That is what being a bi is all about, acting in general. Of course sexually there are men, who like to eat the whole cake so to speak, but gays don´t care about that anymore. It´s ugly and pitiful! That's why gays dislike bis.


    You do NOT speak for me, Bill, or anyone else here!
  • Hjalmar

    Posts: 97

    Jan 14, 2015 10:53 PM GMT
    Can´t you read? I said imo. Are you drunk?