"You're really sweet. I'm just not into black guys."

  • WhoDey

    Posts: 561

    Jan 15, 2015 3:27 PM GMT
  • monstapex

    Posts: 478

    Jan 15, 2015 9:20 PM GMT
    So this black guy is upset because a white guy said he was not into black guys ,but he himself doesn't seem to be in to black guys either.He has a double standard going on there .
  • Inque

    Posts: 517

    Jan 15, 2015 9:27 PM GMT
    monstapex saidSo this black guy is upset because a white guy said he was not into black guys ,but he himself doesn't seem to be in to black guys either.He has a double standard going on there .


    I don't see it that way. I can see why a black man wouldn't be into his own.
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    Jan 15, 2015 9:36 PM GMT
    Inque said
    monstapex saidSo this black guy is upset because a white guy said he was not into black guys ,but he himself doesn't seem to be in to black guys either.He has a double standard going on there .


    I don't see it that way. I can see why a black man wouldn't be into his own.


    What reason other than self loathing?

    Blacks, asians giving white men power and then have the guts to complain icon_rolleyes.gif
  • monstapex

    Posts: 478

    Jan 15, 2015 9:38 PM GMT
    Inque said
    monstapex saidSo this black guy is upset because a white guy said he was not into black guys ,but he himself doesn't seem to be in to black guys either.He has a double standard going on there .


    I don't see it that way. I can see why a black man wouldn't be into his own.


    tell me why , i'm dying to know.
  • Inque

    Posts: 517

    Jan 15, 2015 9:40 PM GMT
    monstapex said
    Inque said
    monstapex saidSo this black guy is upset because a white guy said he was not into black guys ,but he himself doesn't seem to be in to black guys either.He has a double standard going on there .


    I don't see it that way. I can see why a black man wouldn't be into his own.


    tell me why , i'm dying to know.


    Well I mean he may have had experiences growing up in the community that have made him adverse to being with other black men or may not meet many other gay black men. He may not feel accepted within the black community period and so he has detached himself from it completely, etc.
  • Inque

    Posts: 517

    Jan 15, 2015 9:41 PM GMT
    David3K said
    Inque said
    monstapex saidSo this black guy is upset because a white guy said he was not into black guys ,but he himself doesn't seem to be in to black guys either.He has a double standard going on there .


    I don't see it that way. I can see why a black man wouldn't be into his own.


    What reason other than self loathing?

    Blacks, asians giving white men power and then have the guts to complain icon_rolleyes.gif


    Even if it is self-loathing why is that such a bad thing?
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    Jan 15, 2015 9:44 PM GMT
    Inque said
    David3K said
    Inque said
    monstapex saidSo this black guy is upset because a white guy said he was not into black guys ,but he himself doesn't seem to be in to black guys either.He has a double standard going on there .


    I don't see it that way. I can see why a black man wouldn't be into his own.


    What reason other than self loathing?

    Blacks, asians giving white men power and then have the guts to complain icon_rolleyes.gif


    Even if it is self-loathing why is that such a bad thing?

    Because if you don't respect and value yourself how on earth can you expect others to value you? Its like saying "ew i don't like chocolate ice cream, but I expect you to like it". No one wants to buy something that not even the seller wants it! As simple as that.

    Its a display of embarrassing self pity and you all being demanding at the same time, not a coherent combination.
  • monstapex

    Posts: 478

    Jan 15, 2015 9:55 PM GMT
    pazzy said
    monstapex saidSo this black guy is upset because a white guy said he was not into black guys ,but he himself doesn't seem to be in to black guys either.He has a double standard going on there .


    that's an assumption that you're making because in no part in that did he say the video did he say that he only dates white guys or doesn't date black men.


    he mentioned 4 guys .3 white. 1 Black.He's only been with the white guys(according to him).And he complaining about one the white ones not dating him because black.
  • Inque

    Posts: 517

    Jan 15, 2015 9:56 PM GMT
    David3K said
    Inque said
    David3K said
    Inque said
    monstapex saidSo this black guy is upset because a white guy said he was not into black guys ,but he himself doesn't seem to be in to black guys either.He has a double standard going on there .


    I don't see it that way. I can see why a black man wouldn't be into his own.


    What reason other than self loathing?

    Blacks, asians giving white men power and then have the guts to complain icon_rolleyes.gif


    Even if it is self-loathing why is that such a bad thing?

    Because if you don't respect and value yourself how on earth can you expect others to value you? Its like saying "ew i don't like chocolate ice cream, but I expect you to like it". No one wants to buy something that not even the seller wants it! As simple as that.

    Its a display of embarrassing self pity and you all being demanding at the same time, not a coherent combination.


    Well I'm a black guy who is not attracted to black guys but it's because growing up all I saw were ghetto black guys trying to act like thugs. Admittedly once in a while I'll admit there's a black I find attractive but I cannot separate my mind from black being ghetto and I don't want white people to associate me with being ghetto so I avoid other black people.
  • monstapex

    Posts: 478

    Jan 15, 2015 10:00 PM GMT
    Inque said
    David3K said
    Inque said
    David3K said
    Inque said
    monstapex saidSo this black guy is upset because a white guy said he was not into black guys ,but he himself doesn't seem to be in to black guys either.He has a double standard going on there .


    I don't see it that way. I can see why a black man wouldn't be into his own.


    What reason other than self loathing?

    Blacks, asians giving white men power and then have the guts to complain icon_rolleyes.gif


    Even if it is self-loathing why is that such a bad thing?

    Because if you don't respect and value yourself how on earth can you expect others to value you? Its like saying "ew i don't like chocolate ice cream, but I expect you to like it". No one wants to buy something that not even the seller wants it! As simple as that.

    Its a display of embarrassing self pity and you all being demanding at the same time, not a coherent combination.


    Well I'm a black guy who is not attracted to black guys but it's because growing up all I saw were ghetto black guys trying to act like thugs. Admittedly once in a while I'll admit there's a black I find attractive but I cannot separate my mind from black being ghetto and I don't want white people to associate me with being ghetto so I avoid other black people.



    dumbest thing i ever heard of.
  • Inque

    Posts: 517

    Jan 15, 2015 10:02 PM GMT
    monstapex said
    Inque said
    David3K said
    Inque said
    David3K said
    Inque said
    monstapex saidSo this black guy is upset because a white guy said he was not into black guys ,but he himself doesn't seem to be in to black guys either.He has a double standard going on there .


    I don't see it that way. I can see why a black man wouldn't be into his own.


    What reason other than self loathing?

    Blacks, asians giving white men power and then have the guts to complain icon_rolleyes.gif


    Even if it is self-loathing why is that such a bad thing?

    Because if you don't respect and value yourself how on earth can you expect others to value you? Its like saying "ew i don't like chocolate ice cream, but I expect you to like it". No one wants to buy something that not even the seller wants it! As simple as that.

    Its a display of embarrassing self pity and you all being demanding at the same time, not a coherent combination.


    Well I'm a black guy who is not attracted to black guys but it's because growing up all I saw were ghetto black guys trying to act like thugs. Admittedly once in a while I'll admit there's a black I find attractive but I cannot separate my mind from black being ghetto and I don't want white people to associate me with being ghetto so I avoid other black people.



    dumbest thing i ever heard of.


    That's just how I feel!

    Being with a white guy makes it look like I have some class and I've reached a higher level in life. People respect black guys more who date interracially. It shows they have more intelligence and world experience than your typical dudes wasting their time hiding in the closet knocking up hoes and tossing drugs in the ghetto.
  • conservativej...

    Posts: 2465

    Jan 15, 2015 10:24 PM GMT
    Well ... the shallowness in me allows me to say, "if the guy doesn't give me wood we are not dating."

    icon_lol.gif
  • Tig3r

    Posts: 139

    Jan 16, 2015 12:37 AM GMT
    The video was worth the watch, thank you OP.

    However I should probably "clear up" somethings that people may have misinterpreted.

    The Presenter of the Video was upset that a White Guy over generalized and stereotyped an entire group of people.

    Yet when he told his African American friend that he was talking to a White guy, his Black friend shamed him. "Black Shaming" is putting another member down for not going with the African American Culture. "Why you always acting white, you wanna be white?" Females get it too. "What? You couldn't find a Black Man?"

    He never says that he does not like Black Guys, nor that he likes White guys. He simply had a great conversation with a guy that happened to be White, and nothing could advance because of pre-conceived notions.

    The video is simply about the confusion amongst Gays (and even straights). We all want equality, but we divide ourselves and refuse to open our minds to unconditional love.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11835

    Jan 16, 2015 12:40 AM GMT
    Duh darker duh berry, duh sweeter duh JUICE....
  • wesv

    Posts: 907

    Jan 17, 2015 6:36 AM GMT
    That's an interesting video. I know how it's like being rejected because of race. Apparently I'm asexual because I'm Asian and I shouldn't be dated. All Asians look the same and that they are unattractive.

    Seriously, I don't understand this community. Gay guys are somehow justified in refusing an entire race but have this guilty pleasure in seducing straight guys.
  • NeuralShock

    Posts: 411

    Jan 17, 2015 7:10 AM GMT
    If someone rejected me because of my skin color then I'd be thanking my lucky stars I dodged that bullet before we actually got emotionally connected.

    But the problem is no one can force anyone to change their "preferences", and even if you try to what will you accomplish...? You'll all of a sudden be with someone who made it clear that they aren't into you and that is bound to be a disaster.

    I'd say the best way to deal with it is to cut your losses and move on with dignity.
  • Eli_jah

    Posts: 1391

    Jan 17, 2015 7:59 PM GMT
    Jesus, people, we have the same conversation over and over and over.

    When are black men going to take the initiative to love other black men? When are Asian men going to take the initiative to love other Asian men? And so on, and so forth.

    You bitch and complain but shun men who look like you and perhaps share the same life experiences as you.

    I'm not saying this is an us vs. them thing. Or to self segregate or not interact with white men. But the average All-American white guy is NOT going to be interested in you. At the most, he will sleep with you, but when it comes to anything more, he will always choose the white man. I know this community is not based on love, per se, but this is the truth. It is a sickness to look for love, intimacy, affection, or validation from someone who does not, or cannot, return these feelings.

    In the end, you want to be with someone who values you, who can respect where you have been in life, empathize and communicate with you as an equal, and love you in a way that is pure. And I honestly believe that a white American man can never truly be this way with a black American man, especially. I'm probably wrong, but there is just too much history in this country, too much social conditioning, and a rigid hierarchy in place that doesn't seem to be corroding anytime soon.

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    Jan 17, 2015 9:16 PM GMT
    I thought it was interesting that he spoke standard English, not the AAVE ghetto dialect. Whether or not that's relevant to anything I have no idea.
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    Jan 17, 2015 10:54 PM GMT
    There's a difference between someone being a racist and someone not being sexually attracted to a certain race. Some people find darker skin attractive and some people don't. Some people find lighter skin attractive and some people don't.

    Everyone has their own preferences. Now if someone said "I won't be friends with someone who is black", that's a different story...
  • Noeton

    Posts: 208

    Jan 17, 2015 10:54 PM GMT
    Dopeamine saidJesus, people, we have the same conversation over and over and over.

    When are black men going to take the initiative to love other black men? When are Asian men going to take the initiative to love other Asian men? And so on, and so forth.

    You bitch and complain but shun men who look like you and perhaps share the same life experiences as you.

    I'm not saying this is an us vs. them thing. Or to self segregate or not interact with white men. But the average All-American white guy is NOT going to be interested in you. At the most, he will sleep with you, but when it comes to anything more, he will always choose the white man. I know this community is not based on love, per se, but this is the truth. It is a sickness to look for love, intimacy, affection, or validation from someone who does not, or cannot, return these feelings.

    In the end, you want to be with someone who values you, who can respect where you have been in life, empathize and communicate with you as an equal, and love you in a way that is pure. And I honestly believe that a white American man can never truly be this way with a black American man, especially. I'm probably wrong, but there is just too much history in this country, too much social conditioning, and a rigid hierarchy in place that doesn't seem to be corroding anytime soon.



    This is a great post and very thoughtful, but for sure I think interracial relationships of all kinds can work -- just based on the individuals in them! But for sure history has some lasting effect -- got to be sensitive to that -- but not let it get in the way.
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    Jan 17, 2015 11:38 PM GMT
    I usually try to ignore controversial post like this,but i wanna add my 2 cents as well. people need to stop getting so butthurt when people of other races are not into them because of their race.Also why are people so quick to generalize,not saying this is true but even if many white guys,aisian,or hispanic only like people of their own race dosen't mean all of them do.honestly this post is too hard to completely answer considering the broad range of answers for it.unless u wanna write a ton of paragraphs which i sure as hell don't.icon_razz.gif
  • bro4bro

    Posts: 1034

    Jan 18, 2015 2:57 AM GMT
    You know, every time I see one of these "why don't _____ guys like _____" threads (three or so a day), the first thing I think of is something nobody here seems to have ever mentioned. Not sure if no one else has actually thought of this, or if it's one of those things everyone knows but no one wants to say out loud.

    If someone tells you, "I'm not into black guys", (or Asian guys, or short guys, or whatever) what he really might be saying is, "I'm not into YOU." For some reason it's just easier to dismiss a whole class of people than to tell someone to his face that you're not attracted to him.

    It's less personal than an individualized rejection, so it frees the guy from some measure of direct confrontation. It allows him to soften the blow by saying some bullshit like, "You're really sweet, but..." And it saves the guy from having to explain WHY he's not into you.

    If someone's into you and you have no interest in him whatsoever, the cleanest way to get rid of him is to say it's because of something he can't possibly change - like race, height, dick size... hmm, not much else comes to mind. Almost anything else you tell him may be taken as a challenge - and you don't want him showing up on your doorstep after completing a 12-step program to alter his whiny voice / grating personality / bad body odor / whatever.

    Guys may tell you, "I'm not into black guys," but I guarantee somewhere in the world there's a black guy so smokin' hot he'd crawl over hot coals on hands and knees to lick the dude's ass. So, it all comes down to this:

    He's just not into YOU.
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    Jan 18, 2015 3:24 AM GMT
    ^ Totally agree.

    I would only add that another reason for the rejector to avoid this confrontation could be the old pot and cattle. Like when an unfit guy rejects another unfit guy for being unfit. If the rejector tells the truth the rejected one will throw it back at him.

    People should know this: rejection is always personal.
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    Jan 18, 2015 4:17 AM GMT
    Does the reason for rejection really matter? "Too old, too much chest hair, not tall enough, not into ____, doesn't have a car, too into the scene, too dl, not masculine, too twinkish"... and on and on. Yeah, its really shitty and tacky to say to someone that you don't want to get to know them because of their race (or any other physical trait). But don't waste a moment longer thinking about someone who is not thinking about you. You've got other options... go after them. It's worked well for me.

    I love black guys, latin guys, white guys, asian guys etc., I sure get asked out A LOT by white guys for them supposedly not being into black guys. And I'm dark skinned.