Do you strongly prefer to go out with someone of your own skin color/racial background?

  • WhoDey

    Posts: 561

    Jan 19, 2015 1:38 PM GMT
    I see that question on OK Cupid, and notice how many people (of all races, but mostly white) choose yes. If so, why do you?
  • WhoDey

    Posts: 561

    Jan 19, 2015 3:08 PM GMT
    Please stay on topic. Hope to read some thought provoking comments when I get back from the gym.
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 872

    Jan 19, 2015 3:56 PM GMT
    Staying within the parameters of your own culture, race being one of the possible elements of it, is more comfortable than trying to navigate the waters of intercultural dating.

    Some people are more dependent on the opinion of their environment. Dating someone who kinda basically looks like you is likely to provoke less interest and scrutiny than dating someone who is optically very different.

    I happily do NOT belong to either of the above groups but I do support the right of free association as one of the most basic human rights.

    Whom you choose to date, befriend, or have sex with is purely a matter between the two consenting adults and no one else's business whatsoever.

    SC
  • Svnw688

    Posts: 3350

    Jan 19, 2015 4:09 PM GMT
    No. I could care less what race my potential mate is.

    But here ARE some strong preferences I have:

    Not a dumbass.
    Not a xenophobe.
    Not a militant atheist or anti-theist.
    Hot or relatively attractive.
    Nicely styled hair, or shaved and sleek.
    More personality than cardboard.
    Not living with his family (unless there's a good story)
    Not desperately poor or 35 and still "going to school."
    Not a douche.

    I'd check all the above boxes. Race? A complete non-issue for me.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Jan 19, 2015 4:54 PM GMT
    As Always: It depends on the other guy.
  • NeuralShock

    Posts: 411

    Jan 19, 2015 5:23 PM GMT
    For me it really depends on the other guy.

    I can see myself with a black guy that makes me happy, I can see myself with a guy of every race that makes me happy.... But the cutting block for me is who they are.

    However I do have a strong preference for something critical... without it I just cannot date them....

    ... A MASSIVE BUTT.

    Okay, there. icon_rolleyes.gif
  • wesv

    Posts: 907

    Jan 19, 2015 9:16 PM GMT
    I prefer NOT to date my own race. I'm not saying there aren't any attractive Asian guys. I just prefer a guy of another race. I like interracial dating.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 19, 2015 9:47 PM GMT
    I said *No to this question because I dated Asian men in the past, kinda been there, done that. I like interracial dating better because it's unique, sexy and when you go out, you two stand out as a couple. I don't want another clone guy as me. I guess !!icon_eek.gif
  • Svnw688

    Posts: 3350

    Jan 19, 2015 10:21 PM GMT
    So the real take away is.....

    Wesv and LaxWill would make the Worst. Couple. Ever.

    Well, perhaps a step above forced pairing with a lesbian. But you get my point.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 19, 2015 10:26 PM GMT
    Svnw688 saidSo the real take away is.....

    Wesv and LaxWill would make the Worst. Couple. Ever.

    Well, perhaps a step above forced pairing with a lesbian. But you get my point.


    Hahaha, how did you get that? Lol, Wes likes Middle Easten men (I saw his thread), nothing wrong with that. He wants cute younger 20s jocks?? And I like guys in their 30s, a little older my age. We just have totally different taste. Just an observation. icon_wink.gif
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jan 19, 2015 10:48 PM GMT
    Svnw688 saidNo. I could care less what race my potential mate is.

    But here ARE some strong preferences I have:

    Not a dumbass.
    Not a xenophobe.
    Not a militant atheist or anti-theist.
    Hot or relatively attractive.
    Nicely styled hair, or shaved and sleek.
    More personality than cardboard.
    Not living with his family (unless there's a good story)
    Not desperately poor or 35 and still "going to school."
    Not a douche.

    I'd check all the above boxes. Race? A complete non-issue for me.

    Poor militant atheists.icon_sad.gif
  • Svnw688

    Posts: 3350

    Jan 19, 2015 10:57 PM GMT
    @HottJoe icon_cool.gif


    tumblr_inline_n72wdw6scd1qacjp8.gif

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  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jan 19, 2015 10:58 PM GMT
    Hahahaicon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 20, 2015 12:18 AM GMT
    I personally don't prefer to go out with someone who's the same skin color or racial background as I am, But I can see maybe why other people might choose to do so.

    Odds are that if you share the same racial background with someone, then there's a high probability that you also share the same cultural distinctions (shared interests, Family values, challenges, etc). This in turn might lead to understanding each other better. Obviously doesn't happen all the time, but again the probability is higher than not.

    Is a person wrong for their "tunnel-like" vision regarding race or skin color in regards to landing a date/relationship? I think there are a lot of considerations to take into account (such as the one above) before a judgement is made. However, if such a decision is made through prejudice or bigotry...I think thats a problem. How can we tell the difference? That is the million dollar question...unless of course you ask the party in question and see how they answer.





  • Svnw688

    Posts: 3350

    Jan 20, 2015 12:55 AM GMT
    @Awesomepossum, and everyone:

    Or you can take a peer reviewed, methodically sound test that is FREE and takes less than 10 minutes that will tell you your UNCONSCIOUS bias with respect to race (white/black). It's run by Harvard University and is the preeminent test for implicit bias.

    Click "I wish to Proceed"
    Then click the blue tab "RACE IAT)

    You'll have your scientifically sound and replicable answer in about 10 minutes. Enjoy.

    https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/takeatest.html
  • Tig3r

    Posts: 139

    Jan 20, 2015 1:12 AM GMT
    Svnw688 said@Awesomepossum, and everyone:

    Or you can take a peer reviewed, methodically sound test that is FREE and takes less than 10 minutes that will tell you your UNCONSCIOUS bias with respect to race (white/black). It's run by Harvard University and is the preeminent test for implicit bias.

    Click "I wish to Proceed"
    Then click the blue tab "RACE IAT)

    You'll have your scientifically sound and replicable answer in about 10 minutes. Enjoy.

    https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/takeatest.html

    Thanks for the link, that was indeed a interesting test!

    Your Result
    Your data suggest little to no automatic preference between European American and African American.

    I am multiracial and see value in all, however I will not lie and say "Oh I have dated Black Guys left and right!" Because I have not, I have never dated a Black Guy. Why? Not because I see more value in my "White" counterpart, it is simply because the guys that find me attractive do not typically meet my standards.
    Educated, Goals, Nice Smile, and a good head on his shoulders.
    I hate messages or text that say (And I quote)"6'2, 170 and u Handsome...wassup wit the dick" (An actual message)
  • wesv

    Posts: 907

    Jan 20, 2015 1:17 AM GMT
    LAXWill10 saidI said *No to this question because I dated Asian men in the past, kinda been there, done that. I like interracial dating better because it's unique, sexy and when you go out, you two stand out as a couple. I don't want another clone guy as me. I guess !!icon_eek.gif


    Actually I would also date whites and latinos as well. I'm not limited to Middle Eastern men. The problem with black guys is that all the cute ones are straight.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 20, 2015 2:37 AM GMT
    Yes, I know of a few former Asian potato queens, who, instead of settling for older or uglier, branch out to "anything but Asian". It's an embarrassment. Such people should ask themselves why almost no white guys ever think like that.

    Actually if I were a potato queen, it'd be in my interest to keep it a secret, so that my actions/preferences won't make my race (by extension, myself) look undesirable. Plus it would be such a turn-off to prospective dates... I'm open to dating white guys, but have ignored every rice queen who's ever contacted or hit on me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 20, 2015 3:15 AM GMT
    hentailover saidYes, I know of a few former Asian potato queens, who, instead of settling for older or uglier, branch out to "anything but Asian". It's an embarrassment. Such people should ask themselves why almost no white guys ever think like that.

    Actually if I were a potato queen, it'd be in my interest to keep it a secret, so that my actions/preferences won't make my race (by extension, myself) look undesirable. Plus it would be such a turn-off to prospective dates... I'm open to dating white guys, but have ignored every rice queen who's ever contacted or hit on me.


    what's a rice queen? icon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 20, 2015 3:20 AM GMT
    Guys that LAXWill or wesv might settle for
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 20, 2015 6:31 AM GMT
    @Svnw688
    Interesting Test!

    Here are my results:
    Your data suggest a slight automatic preference for African American compared to European American.













  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 21, 2015 4:06 AM GMT
    hentailover saidYes, I know of a few former Asian potato queens, who, instead of settling for older or uglier, branch out to "anything but Asian". It's an embarrassment. Such people should ask themselves why almost no white guys ever think like that.

    Actually if I were a potato queen, it'd be in my interest to keep it a secret, so that my actions/preferences won't make my race (by extension, myself) look undesirable. Plus it would be such a turn-off to prospective dates... I'm open to dating white guys, but have ignored every rice queen who's ever contacted or hit on me.


    What an idiotic and mean assessment, you came off as mean and kinda hating/racist toward White and Asian people ..bro!! Not attractive at all !! icon_neutral.gif
  • Marko89

    Posts: 239

    Jan 21, 2015 5:54 AM GMT
    Svnw688 saidNo. I could care less what race my potential mate is.

    But here ARE some strong preferences I have:

    Not a dumbass.
    Not a xenophobe.
    Not a militant atheist or anti-theist.
    Hot or relatively attractive.
    Nicely styled hair, or shaved and sleek.
    More personality than cardboard.
    Not living with his family (unless there's a good story)
    Not desperately poor or 35 and still "going to school."
    Not a douche.

    I'd check all the above boxes. Race? A complete non-issue for me.


    +1 I'm an atheist but lately the militant variety seem to be pissing me off more and more.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 21, 2015 5:55 AM GMT
    hentailover saidYes, I know of a few former Asian potato queens, who, instead of settling for older or uglier, branch out to "anything but Asian". It's an embarrassment. Such people should ask themselves why almost no white guys ever think like that.

    Actually if I were a potato queen, it'd be in my interest to keep it a secret, so that my actions/preferences won't make my race (by extension, myself) look undesirable. Plus it would be such a turn-off to prospective dates... I'm open to dating white guys, but have ignored every rice queen who's ever contacted or hit on me.


    Well said. I never understand the potato queens who shoot themselves in the foot by announcing their preferences.
  • Inque

    Posts: 517

    Jan 21, 2015 5:37 PM GMT
    Varus said
    hentailover saidYes, I know of a few former Asian potato queens, who, instead of settling for older or uglier, branch out to "anything but Asian". It's an embarrassment. Such people should ask themselves why almost no white guys ever think like that.

    Actually if I were a potato queen, it'd be in my interest to keep it a secret, so that my actions/preferences won't make my race (by extension, myself) look undesirable. Plus it would be such a turn-off to prospective dates... I'm open to dating white guys, but have ignored every rice queen who's ever contacted or hit on me.


    what's a rice queen? icon_eek.gif


    A white guy who only dates Asian men. Usually they are older white men who now can't get young hot white boys but are afraid of black men and don't have the resources to get a Latino a green card so they go for Asian boys.