Sexual orientation is indeed a choice

  • wesv

    Posts: 907

    Jan 20, 2015 1:49 AM GMT
    I don't mean to sound like a dick, but so many of you guys are giving me that impression. I hear things like "I used to have sex with girls and liked it, but now I prefer to have sex with guys." You guys word things so incorrectly like "when I used to be straight." And what's up with this "I just started to like guys more than girls two years ago but I still kinda like girls"? WTF? Is sexual orientation a choice then? I just don't understand how gays and lesbians go around saying "bitch, I was born this way" but you send the wrong message to straight people.

    I was born with my gay orientation. I don't know about you.
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    Jan 20, 2015 1:57 AM GMT
    Only bisexuals believe that.
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    Jan 20, 2015 1:59 AM GMT
    Honey, if it were a choice, you could choose to be straight tomorrow. Good luck with that...

    Just sayin'
  • Svnw688

    Posts: 3350

    Jan 20, 2015 1:59 AM GMT
    We can address this squarely right here.

    Sexual Orientation=the persistent MENTAL preference for one gender over another. Kinsey had a scale of 1 to 7, where 4 would be "truly" bisexual.

    Sexual behavior=the persistent preference PHYSICAL preference for one gender over another. A sexually orientated gay "closet case" could never touch a guy, and bang women left and right. He'd still be gay. A sexually orientated straight guy could bang guys right and left in military/prison. He'd still be straight.

    The distinction is between the MENTAL preference, or orientation, and the PHYSICAL behavior manifested. For example, I'm a gay male who is functionally bisexual because I used to have sex with women. Also, I'm not straightly "gay," but probably fall on the gay/bi spectrum of Kinsey, since some gay men could NEVER have sex with women, but others, like me, enjoy it if the circumstance and girl are right. However, I am NOT truly bisexual because I do not equally mentally prefer women. When I jack off I almost exclusively think of men, or focus on the man in the act.
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    Jan 20, 2015 2:09 AM GMT
    Just know that you have a choice in how angry you get over this. My advice is to not get so hung up on the semantics and let others choose their own words to describe how they feel/felt. It's their story, after all. For many of these guys, they really did lead 2 different lives.

    You can rip them if they use inappropriate words to describe other people or if they criticize or judge.
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    Jan 20, 2015 2:14 AM GMT
    wesv said"I used to have sex with girls and liked it, but now I prefer to have sex with guys."

    "when I used to be straight."

    "I just started to like guys more than girls two years ago but I still kinda like girls"?



    I fucking hate guys like that.
  • NeuralShock

    Posts: 411

    Jan 20, 2015 2:15 AM GMT
    I seriously could not imagine sex with a girl under any circumstance or in any situation.

    The thought actually makes me feel violently ill.
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    Jan 20, 2015 2:17 AM GMT
    I am now somewhere in like My third century of Life and I have YET to see ANYone who could actually "choose" to be anything other than exactly what they ARE.

    Your getting caught up in other's semantics. Focus on who YOU are and You will find every answer You need.

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    Jan 20, 2015 2:32 AM GMT
    wesv saidI don't mean to sound like a dick, but so many of you guys are giving me that impression. I hear things like "I used to have sex with girls and liked it, but now I prefer to have sex with guys." You guys word things so incorrectly like "when I used to be straight." And what's up with this "I just started to like guys more than girls two years ago but I still kinda like girls"? WTF? Is sexual orientation a choice then? I just don't understand how gays and lesbians go around saying "bitch, I was born this way" but you send the wrong message to straight people.

    I was born with my gay orientation. I don't know about you.


    You are getting held up by semantics (EDIT: Cash beat me to it, you hunky of a man you! ), preventing you in fully understanding the meaning of sexual orientation.

    Your past experiences (the physical domain) does not wholly define your sexual orientation, it is also (for the most part) the emotional and psychological attraction for the opposite or the same gender (or both) that characterises your sexual orientation.

    Why do you care about labels anyway? Other people's perceptions of themselves (whether straight, gay or bi or otherwise) should not limit your understanding of humans as only black and white, but this should rather expand your awareness of the complexity of our peers.
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 872

    Jan 20, 2015 5:39 AM GMT
    wesv saidI don't mean to sound like a dick, but so many of you guys are giving me that impression. I hear things like "I used to have sex with girls and liked it, but now I prefer to have sex with guys." You guys word things so incorrectly like "when I used to be straight." And what's up with this "I just started to like guys more than girls two years ago but I still kinda like girls"? WTF? Is sexual orientation a choice then? I just don't understand how gays and lesbians go around saying "bitch, I was born this way" but you send the wrong message to straight people.

    I was born with my gay orientation. I don't know about you.


    You are simply misunderstanding the message.

    Once you reach a certain age, you are simply horny all the time, or most of the time. It's a fact of life.

    You may find guys attractive, and girls, too. (Some men do. Some don't.) You have not had any time to establish a pattern of your sexual behavior. When an opportunity presents itself, you go for it. Besides, some guys are more curious than the others. Even though they may prefer having sex with one gender, they still want to try playing with the other option, too.

    I always found men more sexually attractive than women. Yet, a few times, I ended up with a choice of either ending the night with a cute girl, or going home alone. I would always choose the former over the latter. I have no problem in being called an opportunisticon_twisted.gif

    Over the time, I established my network of friends and buddies, and practically always had the option of finding a reasonably hot dude to mess around with. So, I stopped banging the chicks around, and focused on my male buddies.

    I never thought that I chose to be gay. If I had had the choice, I would have chosen to be gay, though.

    The fact that I have booked quite a few sexual encounters with girls does not make anything that I otherwise would not be.

    SC
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    Jan 21, 2015 3:16 AM GMT
    When you are bisexual you have a choice....weather you like one sex more than the other....if you are bisexual and can perform with either sex you have a choice. If you are truely gay you are attracted to one or the other and would not be able to perform with the opposite sex.



    Even though its being said that people don't believe in bisexuality it is alive and well. I have met more men that have girlfriends or are married with children. These men are having sex with women and men, a gay man would not be able to get a erection with a woman. I am truly gay i like men and i cannot get a erection for a female and never have in fact i find them a turn off sexually. Yet i can see beauty in them.



    I would go so far to say that most men are bisexual. But a man is quick to label himself or be labled as gay if he sleeps with a man even if he is married and actively sleeping with women. These men are bisexual. It is a society secret imo. Dl men know this. they choose.


    When i first came out and got out in the world away from my parents and had experiences with men....i was shocked and dismayed at all the men that were dl and had girlfriends and/ or married yet were actively sleeping with men too. I think society is in denial about this and its sort of a hidden secret among men. Women can't grasp it because it sort of insults them that a man wants a man and not just them and alot of them still think most gay men are feminine.
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    Jan 23, 2015 1:58 AM GMT
    woodfordr saidJust know that you have a choice in how angry you get over this. My advice is to not get so hung up on the semantics and let others choose their own words to describe how they feel/felt. It's their story, after all. For many of these guys, they really did lead 2 different lives.

    You can rip them if they use inappropriate words to describe other people or if they criticize or judge.


    This. OMG This. Seriously, don't get all butthurt (lol) about what other people think about other people's sexual orientation.

    I get it, you don't like the way people word things --- and there's some legitimacy to that....but in the end, the real choice is YOURS of who you want to hang out with, surround yourself with, be associated with.

    If you don't like the comments certain people are saying, then just ignore them and move on. What's truly important is YOURSELF.