Is being self deprecating a bad thing

  • ZakSayWhat

    Posts: 573

    Jan 21, 2015 5:39 PM GMT
    like three of my friends have said i'm too self deprecating. is that bad, they're my only friends.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Jan 21, 2015 5:45 PM GMT
    ZakSayWhat saidlike three of my friends have said i'm too self deprecating. is that bad, they're my only friends.

    It can be. If it feels either self-pitying or if it become so repetitive that it almost sounds like you're not really serious but just want attention. Sincerity matters. Next time someone gives you a compliment, try just saying "Thank you. You're very kind." A knee-jerk reaction to a compliment arguing with the giver is usually annoying.
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    Jan 21, 2015 6:59 PM GMT
    work on the self love. It can be fun.
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    Jan 22, 2015 5:05 PM GMT
    It can be a bad thing if you do it continually as you will begin to believe the things you say. It's better to be your own champion and build yourself up rather than tear yourself down.

    A little here and there in a joking manner is ok but only socially with friends. NEVER AT WORK OR WITH COWORKERS!
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    Jan 22, 2015 6:08 PM GMT
    Quite the opposite. Most people who are able to laugh at themselves tend to be pretty secure and level headed.
  • HottJoe

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    Jan 22, 2015 6:10 PM GMT
    Ex_Mil8 saidQuite the opposite. Most people who are able to laugh at themselves tend to be pretty secure and level headed.

    +1
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    Jan 22, 2015 7:30 PM GMT
    HottJoe said
    Ex_Mil8 saidQuite the opposite. Most people who are able to laugh at themselves tend to be pretty secure and level headed.

    +1


    I agree but deprecation does not mean laughing at oneself. Deprecation is to express disapproval of, belittle, disparage, play down. I don't think self deprecation is ever a good thing unless meant in a humorous way.
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    Jan 22, 2015 7:42 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan said
    HottJoe said
    Ex_Mil8 saidQuite the opposite. Most people who are able to laugh at themselves tend to be pretty secure and level headed.

    +1


    I agree but deprecation does not mean laughing at oneself. Deprecation is to express disapproval of, belittle, disparage, play down. I don't think self deprecation is ever a good thing unless meant in a humorous way.


    Exactly:

    : to criticize or express disapproval of (someone or something)

    Self-deprecating HUMOR is what Joan Rivers did so well. Humor is added, it's not included!
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    Jan 22, 2015 8:00 PM GMT
    "too self deprecating" is boring and annoying as it usually means your looking to boost a week ego.
    I have a buddy that continually calls himself to stupid to understand certain things. I am now obligated to punch him every time he says such things.
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    Jan 22, 2015 8:18 PM GMT
    dustin_K_tx said"too self deprecating" is boring and annoying as it usually means your looking to boost a week ego.
    I have a buddy that continually calls himself to stupid to understand certain things. I am now obligated to punch him every time he says such things.


    Some guy on here, I was like, "Shut the fuck up" every other thing he said...
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    Jan 22, 2015 8:23 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan said
    I agree but deprecation does not mean laughing at oneself. Deprecation is to express disapproval of, belittle, disparage, play down. I don't think self deprecation is ever a good thing unless meant in a humorous way.


    Self-deprecation is generally about laughing at oneself. Indeed, the OED definition of 'self-deprecating' is:
    Modest about or critical of oneself, especially humorously so. I would suggest the term that more accurately reflects what you and the OP are thinking of is 'self-critical'.
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    Jan 22, 2015 8:39 PM GMT
    Ex_Mil8 said
    UndercoverMan said
    I agree but deprecation does not mean laughing at oneself. Deprecation is to express disapproval of, belittle, disparage, play down. I don't think self deprecation is ever a good thing unless meant in a humorous way.


    Self-deprecation is generally about laughing at oneself. Indeed, the OED dictionary definition of 'self-deprecating' is:
    Modest about or critical of oneself, especially humorously so. The term you and the OP are probably thinking of is 'self-critical'.


    That still is not necessarily connoting laughing at oneself. One can laugh at ones self without being self deprecating.

    I can trip and fall and have a good laugh. (Laughing at oneself) or
    I can trip and fall and say there I go again I'm so clumsy, I have two left feet, it's no wonder I was kicked out of ballet after the first lesson. (Self-deprecating, you are the brunt of your joke and not the action, and not good for the psyche if it becomes habitual.)

    To me there's a subtle difference.
  • conservativej...

    Posts: 2465

    Jan 22, 2015 9:30 PM GMT
    Some times it is a necessary thing. Most often better applied in quid pro quo fashion.
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    Jan 22, 2015 11:39 PM GMT
    Not that romantic, then again seeing eye to eye forever is a bit unrealistic and creates a communication barrier.
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    Jan 23, 2015 12:34 AM GMT
    A little self deprecation is fine, like if you're doing it with humor to disarm /de-escalate a situation. But it shouldn't be your platform or anthem.