Mom's dead of lung cancer, my life sux

  • johnnyqhomo7

    Posts: 119

    Jan 23, 2015 3:55 PM GMT
    This sucks badly. My mom passed away from lung cancer 2 months ago.. I miss her so much. Any advice anyone?
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Jan 23, 2015 4:33 PM GMT
    You won't lose the pain for a long time. You shouldn't want to. It's a sign of how much you cared. Put a nice photo somewhere that you pass by frequently and when you go by, just shy "Hi Mom. Miss you." I did that when I lost my sister to cancer. Still do occasionally. I found saying some things out loud helped.
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    Jan 31, 2015 2:37 AM GMT
    I am really sorry to hear this... I cannot relate to this but I hope all gets better for you *hugs*.

  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jan 31, 2015 3:19 AM GMT
    Sorry for your loss

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  • Str8baller2k

    Posts: 2

    Feb 02, 2015 7:37 AM GMT
    Hey man same issue here. It really is a tough one. But, you have to somehow muster the strength to keep looking forward. Mother's Day will suck. Now, that this reality is out of the way, know that she would be disappointed if she saw you moping around on her behalf. You must find a way to fill the void by keeping your heartspace and your body busy. For me, it was joining a martial arts class when my mom passed. None of this will bring her back. The intention is for you not give up or give in to the temptation of drowning in grief and despair. I been there, did that, done that. And, the only thing that came from it was health problems. Your body is not designed to be in a state of stress and despair on a daily basis. You must SUMMON joy. God Bless You bro.
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    Feb 02, 2015 8:09 PM GMT
    johnnyqhomo7 saidThis sucks badly. My mom passed away from lung cancer 2 months ago.. I miss her so much. Any advice anyone?


    Very sorry. But yeah, some advice: Don't set any time frame for grieving. It takes literally years. At first you won't be able to get through the day without breaking down, but slowly you will have days where you don't cry at all. Eventually the breakdowns will get farther in between. It really will get better but just don't force yourself into it. Also, I find myself talking to my mom when I'm alone (yes, out loud.) In the chance that her spirit can hear me, it makes me feel better to know I might be communicating with her.
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    Nov 04, 2015 11:09 PM GMT
    Johhnyqhomo7: I'm very sorry for your loss. I had a loss 13 months ago - my wife of 19 years died after a three year battle with brain cancer, she was 61. While I thought I had done my grieving during her journey (anticipatory grief) I found I had not and sought counseling a few months later. The counselor recommended a Grief Support Group. I went regularly from May to mid-October. It helped immensely, as did the passage of time. Feel free to email me if you would like. I'd be happy to talk to you about it.
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    Nov 04, 2015 11:48 PM GMT
    johnnyqhomo7 saidThis sucks badly. My mom passed away from lung cancer 2 months ago.. I miss her so much. Any advice anyone?

    Only time heals all wounds. I've lost both my parents, and my first partner. All under very difficult circumstances for me. It does get better.

    The only advice I would give is to try not to let it harden you. I liken it to an emotional scab. I sometimes realize I can't offer my present partner the same depth of emotions I once had, and I know that's a defensive, protective reaction to my past experiences. I try all the time to overcome it.

    Keep that in mind. Because other people in your life, perhaps including a future partner/husband, will need you to be fully in their lives.

    And of course, you have my condolences.
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    Nov 16, 2015 9:42 PM GMT
    I too lost my mum to cancer at a relatively young age. I can't really add to the excellent advice already given by the other guys here. I just wanted to add my good wishes.