My Best Friends New Boyfriend used to chat with me on Grinder! Should I tell her or leave it alone?

  • Deri245

    Posts: 239

    Jan 23, 2015 5:49 PM GMT
    So A few months ago I met this guy on Grindr yea dnt judge lol. Anyway we never hooked up just chatted and exchanged pics.
    But my Best friend was telling me about her new boyfriend who was the guy I used to chat with on Grindr for several months. Im not at all worried about it I have no feelings/connection to him but I feel bad not telling my friend that her new boyfriend may not be legit?

    What should I do
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 23, 2015 5:53 PM GMT
    The guy might have taken your's best friend's b/f's pics and pretended it was him.
    Her b/f might be bisexual, so that should be ok.
  • Deri245

    Posts: 239

    Jan 23, 2015 5:58 PM GMT
    haha no we hung out once we just never did anything lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 23, 2015 6:24 PM GMT


    Well, you could simply say to her, 'Hey I remember him, I chatted with him a while back on grindr', conversationally.
    Then let her figure it out, and if she asks you about what you talked about, tell her to ask him.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 23, 2015 6:44 PM GMT
    meninlove said

    Well, you could simply say to her, 'Hey I remember him, I chatted with him a while back on grindr', conversationally.
    Then let her figure it out, and if she asks you about what you talked about, tell her to ask him.


    Casual is best. If they were engaged or something then it'd be different but because they just started going out, bring it up.

    Better she know now then find out when you tell her months from now when you see him trawling for ass on Grindr or some nonsense.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 24, 2015 2:11 AM GMT
    Maybe you can find an answer here:

    My girl friend's boyfriend is on gay hookup websites... (12/27/12):
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/2891806

    Engaged "straight" friend wants to hook up with me (3/25/12):
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/2263134

    He says he is straight. Hes dating my best friend. Hes everything she wants in a guy and he tried to hook up with me. (4/23/10):
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/920427

    Telling on your friend! Would you do it or not? (5/17/07):
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/8337

    My new friend's boyfriend possibly hit on me... (6/3/12):
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/2418879

    Straight/Married Men on Gay Websites (My Very 1st Posting) (2/16/10):
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/833736

  • Tig3r

    Posts: 139

    Jan 24, 2015 2:20 AM GMT
    Lol I was showing my friend Grindr and she stops at a guy who I did not respond to, turns out it was her ex in high school.
  • Noeton

    Posts: 208

    Jan 24, 2015 3:35 AM GMT
    Tell her all ... Save her the inevitable problems.
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 873

    Jan 24, 2015 6:08 AM GMT
    I am always very reluctant to interfere into other people's relationships. Hardly anything good ever comes out of it.

    First off, the guy you met (but did not have sex with) on the Grindr may be a young, bored dude, who may have been experimenting; going through self-perceived situational homosexuality or whatever. You really have no first-hand knowledge that this dude IS gay as in someone who has an established pattern of sexual behavior along the lines of regular m2m sex.

    Second off, meeting other people via Grindr or CL or whatever implies that an adult will keep all the details private. Sure, no one can impose this upon you, and you CAN go around telling the stories of your Grindr-generated meetups, exploits, etc.. To an adult ear, you are disqualifying yourself for anything serious right there and then. Few things separate men from boys more that the Kiss and Tell...

    Third off, warning her or not, she either likes the dude, and will go for him or she does not. Should the former be true, you may find yourself in a very awkward situation, as being someone who was trying to be an obstacle to your friend's happiness. Her BF will never forget your indiscretion, and you'll be doing yourself a huge disservice altogether.

    Should the the latter be true, she is going to dump him anyway, and your intervention is really superfluous. She will however, remember that you "didn't like the guy", and will be even more cautious when you shoot the next warning against someone else...

    SC



  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Jan 24, 2015 6:28 AM GMT
    Say nothing...Better she finds out, then to be mad at you for ruining her relationship.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jan 24, 2015 7:28 AM GMT
    What exactly do you mean by best friend?
    Like from childhood or something. Friends come and go ... besties or not. Sometimes you try to be nice and people take it all wrong. If you tell her she may despise you for telling her. I think you should just leave it up to him. If you are besties, you will eventually hang out together. If he brings it up just pretend like you had forgotten and that he has changed (looks different) since then.
  • big_irish

    Posts: 20

    Jan 29, 2015 9:51 PM GMT
    Leave it alone.....Learned my lesson the hard way on that one.