How do I keep a potential friend interested?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 27, 2015 8:57 PM GMT
    So I made a Craiglist ad about looking for platonic male friends in my area to hang out with and didn't except any replies.

    I got two.

    One of them said that they shared the same interests with me and I introduced myself, as did he. I asked him to tell me something different or interesting about himself. He said he couldn't think of anything. I replied with something I thought could be interesting, about me. Not really sure where it's going to end up...

    And the other, based on me saying I am a pretty PG guy, made an initial joke about me having a PG pic. I said I'd send one if he would. I thought it weird, as I'd think you wouldn't care what a friend looked like, but decided to go with it. So, the next day I get back an image of this handsome man who is super ripped. I guess looking at him, I don't get why he'd have trouble finding friends, but this is me judging a book by its cover.

    So, I haven't gotten a reply back from either and I was wondering what others would think. Should I have not sent a picture? Was asking for something unique about him too much, too soon? I would think "being myself" would be key, but that hasn't really worked for me. I am pretty much waiting for them to not reply so I can take the hint.

    Ideally, we'd meet up in a public place and just...hang out. I assume from the interests I shared they saw something they liked, but I feel inadequate and am used to conversations fizzling out quickly.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Jan 27, 2015 10:14 PM GMT
    Well it is a very odd way to meet someone, sort of meet someone. You almost approached it like a date. Try just suggesting something to do like shoot pool and have a beer at somewhere neutral. Friendships are developed by having common interests.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 27, 2015 11:24 PM GMT
    if it looks too good to be true on craigslist its illegal.

  • Jan 28, 2015 2:46 AM GMT
    Dude that pic you received of that guy could be a fake. Instead of posting an ad that could potentially yield any psychopath just out for prey, why don't you just try going TO a bar and actually try striking up a conversation with somebody?
  • buddycat

    Posts: 1874

    Jan 28, 2015 9:51 AM GMT
    I think that asking someone one thing interesting about yourself would be a date question or even an annoying oddball interview question. Not something you ask a platonic friend. I usually met platonic friends talking about hanging out in a gay bars or parties looking for husbands.icon_lol.gif Next question would be describe your hopes and aspirations? Mine are not to be asked annoying questions.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 28, 2015 9:57 AM GMT
    I am actually surprised at how it's being written off as "weird". Can't be any stranger than meeting a guy on here, no?

    I've gotten job offers based on Craiglist ads and am well aware of the psychos, killers, depraved individuals who are on there.


    The guy I asked that question to didn't seem to mind and we spoke quite a bit today.

    As for the guy I sent my pic to...I did my due diligence. He's not a catfish.

    I am not sure why the something interesting about you question is weird. I can move my ears. I think that's interesting.

    But hey..what do I know? I am just being myself.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 28, 2015 9:59 AM GMT
    gridlockmaster88 saidDude that pic you received of that guy could be a fake. Instead of posting an ad that could potentially yield any psychopath just out for prey, why don't you just try going TO a bar and actually try striking up a conversation with somebody?


    I don't drink.

    I've tried meeting people in person, but I never got far with that. People are more comfortable texting than speaking, which I simply have to deal with.
  • buddycat

    Posts: 1874

    Jan 28, 2015 10:20 AM GMT
    Nothing wrong with using Craig's List as long as you understand the environment. Personally I just think you need to learn what platonic gay men talk about, usually men or ways to meet men or men they meet. If someone asked me about one thing about myself, I would reply that I don't like being asked about one thing about myself icon_lol.gif.
  • blueandgold

    Posts: 396

    Jan 28, 2015 1:47 PM GMT
    There is nothing weird about this. Welcome to 2015, everyone. You're online meeting people..right....now! Gasp.

    I don't really drink often either. The kinds of people that go to bars are... the kinds of people you'd expect to be in bars. They're probably drinking, and if it's late at night they got peepee on their mind, not table tennis.

    I do agree though that you're approaching it kind of like a date. I think this is a mistake. If you really are just looking for buds and bros, skip this step. Just go get coffee or play basketball or watch a hockey game or play call of duty or something. Bro things. Asking for pics is asking for trouble in this case. You're a big boy, if you don't like the person go home.

    When I lived in Chicago, I did the same thing once. I told my friends I was sick of them and was outsourcing for cooler friends. I put up an ad in the platonic section as a semi joke. It was titled "platonic, not erotic" and had a goofy picture of me riding a tractor or so something. I got invited to some crazy parties out in a south burb trailer park that were surprisingly awesome.


    Remember: No sexual content, at all! "PG" or otherwise.

    So go for it man.
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 873

    Feb 01, 2015 2:57 PM GMT
    I'd say that your approach to meeting a platonic friend has not quite worked out yet. I also suspect that the CL may not be the very best platform for this.

    Insisting on being strictly PG is probably reducing the pool of interested parties very considerably, if you are going to through a mainstream site as CL.

    Consider the fact that relatively few people can afford the luxury of befriending someone for a PG friendship these days. There is school, work, career, gym, getting laid (for the most guys), household, if not always in this order of importance.

    If you feel like sticking with your guns, consider joining a church group, or a similar club that would be PG focused. This will probably increase your chances of getting, well, a PG friend.

    SC