Does being friends or hanging out with unattractive people make you unattractive?

  • infinitefrien...

    Posts: 376

    Jan 31, 2015 10:42 AM GMT
    I know this sounds like a stupid question, but what do you guys think?

    Not saying that you suddenly undergo a reaction and turn unattractive, but does it gradually wither other aspects of yourself which ultimately leads to less aesthetics?
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    Jan 31, 2015 11:01 AM GMT
    No, you look better in comparison. If you hang with better looking people, you are the ugly one.
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    Jan 31, 2015 12:30 PM GMT
    There was an article in a local gay paper that pretty much asked the same question (switch out "ugly" for "fat") and essentially said yes. I found most of it to be complete bullshit, so I wrote a reply to it and posted it on my blog.

    Sum

    So, there’s an article that was published by the Washington Blade that is going around about how we are the sum of the five people we spend the most amount of time with. This is not a new concept and, for the most part, it is fairly accurate. A trainer and fellow footballer linked this directly to fitness goals and how “your fat friends are not going to help you do anything but stay fat.”

    Yes, we should toootally dump our fat friends because they’re fat. That was sarcasm. Thick, dripping sarcasm. What is this, high school? If someone drops you as a friend because you have more than 12% body fat, then, odds are, they probably weren’t that great of a friend anyway. There is so much more to a person and what we can glean from them than their physical stature.

    TL;DR: the article – at least the half about ditching your friends who don’t have a six pack – is complete bullshit.

    The second half about breaking your goals into smaller, achievable milestones was actually really good.

    My question: What about the people who haven’t met their physical goals yet? What about the ones that desperately want to change, but don’t have the knowledge base to do so?

    When I started on the path of getting into shape, most of my friends were already athletic. If they had followed this trainer’s advice, I probably would still be 280lbs and, odds are, a Type II Diabetic. It was because they were, and are, friends with me that I learned what I needed to and remained motivated to drop 90lbs and completely change the course of my life.

    I do agree that we are the sum of the five people we spend the most amount of time with (because, math). This should go far beyond the physical. I have a friend that continuously teaches me compassion and to chase my dreams, another makes me strive to honor my feelings whatever they may be, some teach me to not take myself so seriously but also not take shit from people, others show me the importance of being focused and determined on whatever it is I want to achieve. Basically, none of these are physical traits. They can be applied physically, sure, but directly they are more about me as a person – not about if I just want to lose three pounds. Yes, that was a Mean Girls reference. You’re welcome.

    By limiting our world to just the physical, there is so much that we miss out on. So many amazing people that we’d cut ourselves off from that we can learn the best lessons from – because you should learn something from every relationship that you have. So much growing that we wouldn’t do.

    We would be stunted as people.

    Being in shape and friends with people who are out of shape will not make you fat.

    Being out of shape and friends with people who are fit will not make you lean.

    It’s all about the decisions you make. No one’s forcing you to choose a hamburger over a salad. To spend your day in front of the TV instead of doing something physical. That’s your choice.

    In the end, it’s all about the people you give your time to.

    Don’t let them be toxic.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jan 31, 2015 1:31 PM GMT
    I absolutely think that hanging with people who have a sour outlook, pessimistic, negative, dishonest, stagnant, etc can cause you issues if you let it derail you.

    That doesn't mean you shouldn't reach out to help someone who needs help, an attitude adjustment or just the "power of positive".

    It's really about how you decide to live your life and those with whom you wish to share it. I'd work to primarily put positive, sharing people in your life, not those who take joy in subtracting from theirs.
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    Jan 31, 2015 1:50 PM GMT
    yes, it's a viral disease without any cure.
    Cover yourself with a black plastic bag to protect yourself from this disease.
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    Jan 31, 2015 2:43 PM GMT
    This thread reminds me of a scene my gay friend told me in the gym, those muscular, hot and lean gay men are mostly hanging within their group, same goes to those unattractive, out of shape and ugly gay men, also in the gay bar, the feminine, girly gay men who wears thick ass makeup hang within their group. I would say birds with same feather do flock together.
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    Jan 31, 2015 3:26 PM GMT
    infinitefriend9 saidI know this sounds like a stupid question


    Don't worry, we're used to your stupid questions.icon_wink.gif
  • gymnerd

    Posts: 136

    Jan 31, 2015 3:53 PM GMT
    No it doesn't. It just means you *might* not be completely shallow.
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    Jan 31, 2015 3:57 PM GMT
    To whom? Has anyone ever seen a situation where someone spontaneously gets an award for being the coolest person in the club, best looking in a bar, or having the most attractive entourage in a social situation? in most places, who you're with is a non-factor. People don't notice... there's no uniform voting panel. When I go out with my friends, I care about my friends. And mostly we are too busy having fun to be rating people. Seems like a non-issue.
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    Jan 31, 2015 4:01 PM GMT
    infinitefriend9 saidI know this sounds like a stupid question, but what do you guys think?

    Not saying that you suddenly undergo a reaction and turn unattractive, but does it gradually wither other aspects of yourself which ultimately leads to less aesthetics?


    Your friends staying away from you are they?

    They may be afraid that hanging out with an amateur troll might make them look like amateur trolls...
  • bro4bro

    Posts: 1034

    Jan 31, 2015 4:38 PM GMT
    It's asking questions like this that makes you unattractive.
  • BTBruce

    Posts: 32

    Jan 31, 2015 4:43 PM GMT
    Your profile states you're 21. Your question makes you sound like you're still in grade school. (Probably why your pics are only of kittens). Looks have nothing to do with the person inside and if you're worried about what people will think because you're hanging around with someone thought to be unattractive, then that in and of itself, makes YOU unattractive IMO.
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    Jan 31, 2015 5:26 PM GMT
    Ex_Mil8 said
    infinitefriend9 saidI know this sounds like a stupid question


    Don't worry, we're used to your stupid questions.icon_wink.gif


    Very a la DontKNowWhy, lol!
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    Jan 31, 2015 5:29 PM GMT
    strongbull saidNo, you look better in comparison. If you hang with better looking people, you are the ugly one.

    It's also good if your friends are better looking because you're better looking by association - it ups your game.

    Lesson - maybe gay birds of a feather shouldn't flock together.
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    Jan 31, 2015 5:49 PM GMT
    If you choose whom to hang out or not to hang out with based on their looks, you're definitely a very unattractive person regardless of how you look.
  • tazzari

    Posts: 2937

    Jan 31, 2015 6:55 PM GMT
    How many stupid threads now?

    Back to the "IGNORE" option!
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    Jan 31, 2015 7:49 PM GMT
    No it doesn't and it shouldn't. It shouldn't matter how your friends look, a tall guy with a tight body and perfect teeth can turn out to be a great friend or who he can turn out to be an egotistical jerk. The same goes for a short, heavyset guy with an afro, he could be the nicest guy on the planet. We have all heard this saying before, " Don't judge a book by its cover". Besides you are being his friend, you're not dating him.
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    Jan 31, 2015 8:18 PM GMT
    I don't believe hanging out with ugly people makes you unattractive, but I do believe surrounding yourself with people who have negative outlooks or attitudes could cause you to change yours. With that being said, if you surround yourself with positive people you can develop a healthier outlook on life. Just my opinion.
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    Jan 31, 2015 8:22 PM GMT
    woodfordr saidTo whom? Has anyone ever seen a situation where someone spontaneously gets an award for being the coolest person in the club, best looking in a bar, or having the most attractive entourage in a social situation? in most places, who you're with is a non-factor. People don't notice... there's no uniform voting panel. When I go out with my friends, I care about my friends. And mostly we are too busy having fun to be rating people. Seems like a non-issue.


    Word
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    Jan 31, 2015 8:49 PM GMT
    This is the most asinine post I've seen here in a while, and that's saying something.
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    Jan 31, 2015 10:53 PM GMT
    No, Hanging out with mean, judgmental, bitter, superficial, super-bitchy queens make you unattractive. I like to make friends, people from all walk of life and all type of looks.
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    Jan 31, 2015 11:00 PM GMT
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    Jan 31, 2015 11:09 PM GMT
    Honestly, people are really stupid when they say things like this. Because attraction is completely individual. Someone in an "attractive" group of friends can find someone attractive in an "unattractive" group of friends.

    I never understand these questions in this forum about generalizing guys looks. It really shows how superficial some gay men are.

    How insecure with yourself are you that you just can't be seen with someone you deem unattractive? Some of you guys act like it's 6th grade and if you are seen talking to someone you have to marry them or something. Give me a break.
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    Jan 31, 2015 11:13 PM GMT
    Vavz saidHonestly, people are really stupid when they say things like this. Because attraction is completely individual. Someone in an "attractive" group of friends can find someone attractive in an "unattractive" group of friends.

    I never understand these questions in this forum about generalizing guys looks. It really shows how superficial some gay men are.


    Do you know what a troll is?
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    Feb 01, 2015 12:11 AM GMT
    This is so funny really - even the people who think this is a stupid thread have to come on and say this is a stupid thread. These are really ingenious how they generate such activity.