Meeting with a engaged man...

  • DiogoT94

    Posts: 22

    Feb 01, 2015 6:20 PM GMT
    Before I get trashed, I just knew he was engaged at the very last moment of our "meet".
    So I was trying to meet this guy for a simple hook up, who has not done that, thing is I've already done it with him and we're like sex buddys.

    He treats me really well and cares about me, and I've just started to realize that I might like him, yet he's engaged with this girl that I do not know.
    I feel bad for what I did...

    What should I do? Its his relationship and if he truly liked her he wouldn't have done what he did with me, I'm pretty sad about her aswell, she knows nothing as far as I'm concerned and he wants to keep doing "it".

    The most human behavior that I should take here is to stop seeing him, yet at the same time I do not want to.

    He's also almighty handsome so it also makes it hard to stop. icon_cry.gif
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 14341

    Feb 01, 2015 6:24 PM GMT

    Well for starters, I would be very careful with this guy since he is engaged to a lady. Why wasn't he honest with you from the very beginning about this situationicon_question.gif Now you face the troubling possibility of ending up broken hearted in the end. I would prepare to face the harsh reality of no longer seeing this guy and getting on with your life.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Feb 01, 2015 6:57 PM GMT
    I didn't know my second bf was engaged until after we had dated a couple of times and had sex. He dumped her, and literally came to my door and asked if he could move in (supposedly temporarily) and we were together 5 years (4.9 years too longicon_sad.gif. As an FYI, don't ever feel guilty or bad about breaking up with someone, because you will only be screwing yourself over if you don't -- and the other person too. Hind sight is always 20/20.)
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Feb 01, 2015 7:05 PM GMT
    Why not just talk to him about it? If all you want is a FB, then move on. If you want something more than maybe this is his way of sorting out his thoughts before getting married. You're not responsible for his actions. You might be doing her a BIG favor. Better for her for him to decide he likes dick before marriage than to decide he likes dick after.
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    Feb 02, 2015 3:34 PM GMT
    First, to answer your question, I have never met a guy for a simple - how "simple" is intimate contact between two people? - hookup, and most of my friends never have either. That's not to sound priggish or - God forbid! - "judgmental," but just to make a record. We are a rainbow, remember?

    Second, whatever this guy's preference is, it's clearly in a state of flux. Whether you want to be the catalyst for what comes is up to you. However, you should examine whether hurting him, the GF or yourself along the way is in your three's best interests.

    No one can tell you what to do, but it is helpful to consider options you may not have thought of on your own.
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 872

    Feb 02, 2015 7:47 PM GMT
    You want to tread very carefully here.

    If you are looking for a monogamous, committed BF, he is not your best shot. His looks and other attributes notwithstanding.

    If you are looking for a NSA FB or FwB, you may want to consider him for this. It works between the two of you on this level. Remember, never to forget your play level here.

    I assume that your friend is an adult. You are not his moral guardian, and you cannot be held accountable for his cheating on his GF/fiance. True, you may choose NOT to be an ancillary in this arrangement but this would certainly not save his GF from the destiny which awaits her. He'll turn on his smartphone, and pick up the next available and qualified dude. If he is determined to cheat on his fiance with other men, he'll do it with you or without you.

    There is no way of knowing where this goes, but if MHE is of any value, prepare to be looking for a new (B)F. In practical terms, living a double life, and continuously cheating takes a very heavy toll on most people. After a while, the pressure builds up, and the thing gets unpleasant for all the parties involved. This does not have to end up any kind of an epic mess, but tends strongly towards leaving people involved hurt.

    SC

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    Feb 02, 2015 10:38 PM GMT
    So you just found out he's engaged, meaning he's in a relationship, and you've already slept him before the knowledge? This sounds like a no-brainer, dude. You dump him and don't look back. His integrity (or rather lack of it) is more than enough of a reason to not want to associated with him. I assure you that the sex ain't that damn good.
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    Feb 03, 2015 12:15 AM GMT
    have fun with him but just keep in mind the fun has an expiration. he has the responsibility to his fiance, you don't, so don't beat yourself up about it. this alone doesn't make you a bad person. eventually he'll probably start to get distant though. it also sounds like he didn't tell you until after because he didn't want you to change your mind, so that's kind of manipulative. keep your involvement physical, not emotional.
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    Feb 03, 2015 1:13 AM GMT
    Guy101 saidSo you just found out he's engaged, meaning he's in a relationship, and you've already slept him before the knowledge? This sounds like a no-brainer, dude. You dump him and don't look back. His integrity (or rather lack of it) is more than enough of a reason to not want to associated with him. I assure you that the sex ain't that damn good.

    +1
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 03, 2015 2:46 AM GMT
    he knows this right:
    if he's very gay it dosnt get any better. He will always be attracted to the joe?

    -i would be careful where you put your emotions and would not get into a loving relationship with him. have an exit plan.

    -this type of thing uses your bandwidth that other wise could find you a proper gay date.
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    Feb 03, 2015 3:34 AM GMT
    no-brainer questions are fun
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    Feb 03, 2015 5:27 AM GMT
    Art_Deco said
    Guy101 saidSo you just found out he's engaged, meaning he's in a relationship, and you've already slept him before the knowledge? This sounds like a no-brainer, dude. You dump him and don't look back. His integrity (or rather lack of it) is more than enough of a reason to not want to associated with him. I assure you that the sex ain't that damn good.

    +1


    +2. Looking at you and your profile, I see nothing that would prevent so lucky unattached guy from being interested in you. AND you wouldn't have to sneak around or keep it a secret.
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    Feb 04, 2015 2:02 AM GMT
    CODY4U saidhave fun with him but just keep in mind the fun has an expiration. he has the responsibility to his fiance, you don't, so don't beat yourself up about it. this alone doesn't make you a bad person. eventually he'll probably start to get distant though. it also sounds like he didn't tell you until after because he didn't want you to change your mind, so that's kind of manipulative. keep your involvement physical, not emotional.


    I'm sorry but he also has a responsibility to the GF. He now knows another person is involved unwittingly in his fuck buddies duplicity. If the OP is a man of any integrity he would tell the fuck buddy he is out out his duplicitous game unless he breaks it off with the GF.

    OP, if you're looking for a good man, he's not it. If he cheated on her with you, he will cheat on you with someone else. Don't be a fool.
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    Feb 04, 2015 3:32 AM GMT
    CODY4U saidhave fun with him but just keep in mind the fun has an expiration. he has the responsibility to his fiance, you don't, so don't beat yourself up about it. this alone doesn't make you a bad person. eventually he'll probably start to get distant though. it also sounds like he didn't tell you until after because he didn't want you to change your mind, so that's kind of manipulative. keep your involvement physical, not emotional.


    +2
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 04, 2015 10:58 AM GMT
    I recommend you do the following:

    Forget about this guy ASAP and move on to someone new!

    This guy already is engaged to a woman and he is just using you to fulfill his emotional needs, but he isn't fulfilling your emotional needs.

    Relationships don't work that way, you need to think with your HEAD as well as your HEART!


    The next time you see him, tell him you are in the "middle of something"..

    If he asks, "What are you in the middle of ?", then tell him that you are in the middle of the 500 yard dash.

    Be like the Olympic runners in this video, and go running away from him as fast as you can... icon_neutral.gif


    icon_neutral.gif
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Feb 04, 2015 11:25 AM GMT
    No brainer was a pretty good response. You're both thinking with your dick. If he breaks of his engagement he might want to try more and different dick and ass. If he gets married, well you know the rest. It will never be more than FWB.icon_idea.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 05, 2015 12:03 AM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidDon't be a fool.


    That's the bottom line.