Do you feel inspired by sexy guys, or shot down?

  • bradleyDean

    Posts: 10

    Feb 02, 2015 8:25 AM GMT
    The world of gay men is fraught with complications, those of other men, and those of the individual. One of these is the self image complex. A gay man is both attracted to and envious of other men much of the time. So what do you think? Do sexy guys make you want to work harder to be them, work to be with them, or do they make the "impossible" even harder?
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Feb 02, 2015 5:57 PM GMT
    None of the above....

    If you have a healthy self concept, you have to understand your talents and limitations, but also strive to improve.
    I want to be the best I can.

    Sure, we are all attracted to others who may be more "fit" in our eyes or more successful. The point is to leave any resentment or jealousy at the door. Strive to improve yourself through association the right way, not by being envious.

    In the end you should be happy with who you are based on your achievements. Those "successful" guys also have problems. Very easy to get into the "grass is greener" concept in a shallow way. Not where I'm at.
  • NeuralShock

    Posts: 411

    Feb 02, 2015 6:21 PM GMT
    I aspire to assimilate what I like in them into myself.

    For instance I saw an insanely jacked dude and loved his hair and now I am going to tailor my hairstyle to be similar. Looked classy, sexy and bodybuilderesque. <- most recent example, saw him 2 weeks ago in the sauna.


    Or I honestly derive a lot of inspiration from Antoine Vaillant, who is like my bodybuilding hero for real.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jDhSPtuO-ss

    So envy? Not so much, instead I aspire to improve myself and take on things I like from everyone that I find attractive.


    Eg: Intelligence, personality, wit, charm, hairstyle, physique, etc....

    Of course this is also relying on the fact I was given fairly strong genetics like broad shoulders and great legs and a cute face with big green eyes....

    But I honestly USED to feel jealous until I realized I am an ideal base to mould into all of these awesome things! And fuck jealousy, I will become awesome. And thus years and years ago I began the journey to become who I want to be.
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    Feb 02, 2015 6:23 PM GMT
    You inspire me you big ol' slab of Aryan perfection you.
  • ASHDOD

    Posts: 1057

    Feb 02, 2015 9:25 PM GMT
    all of the above,but in a moderated way.
    i''m not a jelosy type, people who are better looking richer ect ,if they are good guys ,i''m happy for them and i wish to myself to be more like them,though i accept my limitations and know that not all is possible, and i remember also how lucky i am in so many ways as well.

    theres a joke about the diffrence betwin an american farmer and a russian farmer,the russian see's that his neighbeur got a beautifull new cow, so he tells to himself, i wish his cow to die... the american say, i wish i had a cow like this... icon_smile.gif
  • davfit

    Posts: 309

    Feb 02, 2015 9:49 PM GMT
    Yes . in my book ..Sexy means fit..I like seeing fit guys working out around me at the gym ,not all have attitude..I get jealously all the time.. but from guys..who come to the gym but don't work out ....or go through motions.. WTF
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 02, 2015 9:54 PM GMT
    I'll be pretty honest, I think for me they tend to make impossible even harder. I'm extreme ectomorph, and I've learned that even though working really hard can make me in better shape, I'm never going to become very big and muscular. I don't like believing in limits but I'm starting to see that genetics does play a huge role in this, and it can be fairly discouraging. Especially when i go to the gym and see lots of really hot very muscular guys working out, its double because not only can it make me feel not hot enough because i m skinny, but also frustrated that some people grow much easier than me and I will probably never get to the point they are, even if I work hard. Sometimes there is that little voice that says "just don't even bother, it's not even worth it."

    Over the years I have gotten better at ignoring that voice, and even if i can't get big, i can at least become one pound heavier and one rep stronger. I used to wonder if bigger guys were judging me too for being so small and lifting. I've learned not to give a shit about any of that now, I go just for my own health and self improvement, but I'll admit that in the past it has definitely been discouraging.


    Strangely this is only for lifting and strength/muscles, but not as much for sex. I think with sex, I am more proud and in tune with my size and frame, and I know there seem to be a ton of bigger guys who like smaller guys, so it works out well and I don't really feel insecure then, but rather love the dynamic of bigger and smaller together! It's hot.

    Haha none of these bigger guys that like smaller seem to work out at my gym though, I'm pretty sure nobody notices me there at all, especially when there are all those muscled guys around with bodies that I'll never achieve LOL. But I get so focused on my own workout that I barely notice anyone around me either.

    So in conclusion, um...?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 02, 2015 10:18 PM GMT
    Sometimes its all in the lucky lucky gene pool, not much "work" involved, if I looked like this at 24, my life would have turned out totally different when I came out around the same age. Oh how I wish I could do something's over again in the age of the internet


    Yeah, right, 'straight', I want to see what hes packin, he mesmerizes me, such a beautiful young man icon_redface.gificon_lol.gif


    Justin Charles Reed" Dedicated to the Fitness/Tattoo Lifestyle. 25. Straight. Orlando, FL. Studying NASM for CPT. Training for my first men’s physique show April ‘13.

    tumblr_mhyrg11DHj1rhicvqo1_1280.jpg
    justin_um.jpg
    tumblr_mosx3mbbpC1svcmzeo1_1280.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 02, 2015 10:34 PM GMT
    I do my own thing. I openly admit that I'm selfish when it comes to my feelings. Any changes that happen in my life are solely for my pleasure and my betterment. The only person I feel I need to impress is myself.
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Feb 02, 2015 11:17 PM GMT
    No, not really envious. I'm honest about my attraction to bodybuilder type men BUT I in no way, desire to look like them (big and bulky). I accepted and even found love my smaller body. So at the most when it comes to inspiration, I get it from other guys who are on the leaner side like me, but happen to be physically fit. They inspire me to keep up my workout regimen.

    So when it comes to guys 3x bigger than me, I don't feel envy but admiration and attraction lol. Because even though most gay bodybuilders prefer the company of others who look like them, I know there are a few out there who like smaller guys and don't want someone who's as big as them. So with that thought, there's really no reason to feel insecure and jealous.

    And I agree with HndsmKansan, these guys who we feel are "perfect' really aren't. They have their struggles and problems as well.

  • Feb 03, 2015 12:33 AM GMT
    I feel really shot down. Whenever I see sexy attractive strong tall muscular buff men, I feel ugly, worthless, and insignificant. It is something I have always all my life struggled with, and still do. Just being honest here icon_sad.gif

  • Feb 03, 2015 12:59 AM GMT
    ELNathB saidSometimes its all in the lucky lucky gene pool, not much "work" involved, if I looked like this at 24, my life would have turned out totally different when I came out around the same age. Oh how I wish I could do something's over again in the age of the internet


    Yeah, right, 'straight', I want to see what hes packin, he mesmerizes me, such a beautiful young man icon_redface.gificon_lol.gif


    Justin Charles Reed" Dedicated to the Fitness/Tattoo Lifestyle. 25. Straight. Orlando, FL. Studying NASM for CPT. Training for my first men’s physique show April ‘13.

    tumblr_mhyrg11DHj1rhicvqo1_1280.jpg
    justin_um.jpg
    tumblr_mosx3mbbpC1svcmzeo1_1280.jpg
    A guy like this makes me hate myself (inferiority complex on my part)
  • Camz03

    Posts: 91

    Feb 03, 2015 1:00 AM GMT
    My personal account is very similar to IRFire66's post.

    I will add this though: I think this way of thinking that someone can be "out of your league" requires too many assumptions, because you don't know what someone's 'type' is, assuming they even have one. As IRFire66 recounted, I have also managed to get bigger guys to take interest in me. When I was a lot younger I was twinkier and now I think I've packed on some muscle but as an ectomorph remain lean. Occupying either body type, I still managed to attract bigger guys. Making the assumption that muscled guys only want other muscled guys will surely lead to feelings of inadequacy, but I believe that there are many muscled men that seek something deeper than the physical, and even then there are those that have all sorts of preferences.

    We can easily become our own worst enemies when we let our mind decide for us what other men might think. Really, we shoot down ourselves.
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Feb 03, 2015 2:13 AM GMT
    Camz03 saidMy personal account is very similar to IRFire66's post.

    I will add this though: I think this way of thinking that someone can be "out of your league" requires too many assumptions, because you don't know what someone's 'type' is, assuming they even have one. As IRFire66 recounted, I have also managed to get bigger guys to take interest in me. When I was a lot younger I was twinkier and now I think I've packed on some muscle but as an ectomorph remain lean. Occupying either body type, I still managed to attract bigger guys. Making the assumption that muscled guys only want other muscled guys will surely lead to feelings of inadequacy, but I believe that there are many muscled men that seek something deeper than the physical, and even then there are those that have all sorts of preferences.

    We can easily become our own worst enemies when we let our mind decide for us what other men might think. Really, we shoot down ourselves.


    Exactly agree here too. I think a lot of us leaner guys had or may still face feelings of inadequacy around those who are bigger than us, especially the mesomorphs who pack on muscle quickly lol.

    But it's purely for sexual attraction and whatnot, there shouldn't be any need for feelings like that because not every big, muscular guy wants another big guy. Are they common? Hell no but all it takes is that one person assuming you are really want to meet said guy.

    But I do feel it's a harder pill to swallow if your the guy who wants to be that big for yourself. You have to try to get over your body limitations and never give up. And yes, genes will play a part.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Feb 03, 2015 3:06 AM GMT
    It depends on their personality.
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    Feb 03, 2015 3:12 AM GMT
    Inspiration. When I see an awesomely attractive guy with an amazing physique, it fills me with the passion to do what I can to close the gap.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 03, 2015 3:23 AM GMT
    Camz03 saidMy personal account is very similar to IRFire66's post.

    I will add this though: I think this way of thinking that someone can be "out of your league" requires too many assumptions, because you don't know what someone's 'type' is, assuming they even have one. As IRFire66 recounted, I have also managed to get bigger guys to take interest in me. When I was a lot younger I was twinkier and now I think I've packed on some muscle but as an ectomorph remain lean. Occupying either body type, I still managed to attract bigger guys. Making the assumption that muscled guys only want other muscled guys will surely lead to feelings of inadequacy, but I believe that there are many muscled men that seek something deeper than the physical, and even then there are those that have all sorts of preferences.

    We can easily become our own worst enemies when we let our mind decide for us what other men might think. Really, we shoot down ourselves.



    On Netflix


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 03, 2015 4:41 AM GMT
    BloodFlame said

    Exactly agree here too. I think a lot of us leaner guys had or may still face feelings of inadequacy around those who are bigger than us, especially the mesomorphs who pack on muscle quickly lol.

    But it's purely for sexual attraction and whatnot, there shouldn't be any need for feelings like that because not every big, muscular guy wants another big guy. Are they common? Hell no but all it takes is that one person assuming you are really want to meet said guy.

    But I do feel it's a harder pill to swallow if your the guy who wants to be that big for yourself. You have to try to get over your body limitations and never give up. And yes, genes will play a part.


    Yea for sure. I'm happy with myself sexually because I'm looking for someone who is looking for me icon_smile.gif

    But when it comes to fitness, I want to be bigger and stronger for myself. So seeing tons of very muscular guys doesnt inspire or motivate me, it almost discourages me since I know my body will never respond or grow that way. Frustrating and sometimes I wonder if I shoud just give up. But I never do. Oh well.
  • being_human

    Posts: 152

    Feb 03, 2015 6:02 AM GMT
    I don't know how sexy guys would make me train harder. But.. A crush does keep me regular in the gym. Ah. Sinful motivation.
    If I look for motivation, I get them from stories and experiences the person carry. Just mere looking does little for me.
    I rarely get jealous if I see a sexy guy. Got nothing against a sexy guy. Hell, sex appeal dies off too.. Once I see them everyday
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    Feb 03, 2015 7:03 AM GMT
    If it is someone who has a great body, it can motivate me to go to the gym on days I'm being lazy. Not more than that.
  • Beeftastic

    Posts: 1747

    Feb 03, 2015 8:59 AM GMT
    Depends on the personality. Nice Guys inspire. Assholes can actually make me feel worse.

    The whole levels/leagues thing is the worst way you can keep YOURSELF down. I have been with so many guys (long and short term) that were far above my perceived level, that I know it's bull shit.
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    Feb 03, 2015 9:04 AM GMT
    I think as you get older your priorities change. I've noticed among older guys, the bears, leather men, etc. the more butch men, its more than just looks. Its more about personality and connection, especially when seeking a long term relationship
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    Feb 03, 2015 9:07 AM GMT
    Both, sort of. W/E. As long as plenty of them are insatiable bottoms. icon_wink.gif

    And/or willing to throw the occasional pity-fuck my way. icon_lol.gif
  • Svnw688

    Posts: 3350

    Feb 03, 2015 8:27 PM GMT
    Umm, back when I was emotionally immature (14 to 23ish?) I'd get jealous and envious.

    Then life happened throughout that time period. I hooked up with and/or dated every possible type of guy (average, model hot, guy next door, white, black, asian, latino, short, tall, buff, muscular, skinny, wealthy, poorer, etc.). Once you've had the once before "unattainable," and you peek behind the curtain, you really do realize we're all the same, and you don't valuate things/people the same as you did before.

    I don't know if I'm a fully self-actualized person, but I can confidently say no man or woman intimidates me or strikes jealousy or similar feelings in me. I'm not trying to say I'm "the shit," but I am confident and comfortable in my skin. I suppose I've achieved a certain level of maturity in that sense. It really is a feeling of calm and peace.

    Having said that, I do appreciate a nice body, just like I appreciate nice art. My inspiration to get off my rear and to work out (primarily running and ballet) comes from within and wanting to be a healthy and happy person (I enjoy ballet and running), certainly not from seeing another person or their results/talent. It's a cooperative process mentally, for me, not a competitive process.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Feb 03, 2015 8:29 PM GMT
    being_human saidI don't know how sexy guys would make me train harder. But.. A crush does keep me regular in the gym. Ah. Sinful motivation.
    If I look for motivation, I get them from stories and experiences the person carry. Just mere looking does little for me.
    I rarely get jealous if I see a sexy guy. Got nothing against a sexy guy. Hell, sex appeal dies off too.. Once I see them everyday

    Liking someone is a sin?icon_confused.gif