Should I join a MMA or Brazilian Jiu Jitsu gym to find a boyfriend?

  • NeuralShock

    Posts: 411

    Feb 04, 2015 10:31 PM GMT
    Yes I am in the physical condition for it.
    I am highly interested in learning these combat types and have done about 2 years of muay Thai years ago with my fiance and about 2 months of BJJ this spring.

    Should I join one of these gyms in my city hoping for a boyfriend? I mean BJJ is pretty physically intimate too.

    I don't like dating websites anymore because they seem to attract the literal worst types of people- very easy to get demoralized.
  • Rene_Aensland

    Posts: 2495

    Feb 04, 2015 10:34 PM GMT
    To find a boyfriend.

    ...why on Earth do you feel like you NEED a boyfriend.
    Jesus Christ, I'm not going to belittle you or anything, but the air you breathe and the actions that you cause shouldn't be for the mission of finding a boyfriend.
    Jesus Christ, do shit for YOURSELF for once in a change.
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    Feb 04, 2015 11:30 PM GMT
    Forget the MMA or Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, these days it's ballroom dancing.
  • NeuralShock

    Posts: 411

    Feb 04, 2015 11:42 PM GMT
    Rene_Aensland saidTo find a boyfriend.

    ...why on Earth do you feel like you NEED a boyfriend.
    Jesus Christ, I'm not going to belittle you or anything, but the air you breathe and the actions that you cause shouldn't be for the mission of finding a boyfriend.
    Jesus Christ, do shit for YOURSELF for once in a change.

    I need one because I want to be cuddled and held, and because I want to prove a particular someone drop dead wrong about me and show him and those who doubt I can move on that I can move on.

    It isn't as simple as everyone would like to boil it down to where I just want ass- I have no issue getting guys to want a fuck/overnight. But the issue is I want a relationship.

    I want to prove everyone wrong, that I CAN be loved, that I am worth loving and that I will move on from the bullshit that I've endured.

    And I am doing a lot for myself, but I want to prove everyone who doubted my ability to move on wrong.
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    Feb 04, 2015 11:57 PM GMT
    Sounds like you and a certain somebody are gonna meet cute!
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    Feb 05, 2015 11:30 AM GMT
    Brazilian Jiu Jitsu
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    Feb 05, 2015 12:07 PM GMT
    No, you shouldn't.

    People go there to train, not to find boyfriends. And if your experience resembles mine, you wont find too many gay/bi guys in there.

    "I mean BJJ is pretty physically intimate too".

    It wont feel intimate when someone is trying to break your arm and/or choke you.
  • Rhi_Bran

    Posts: 904

    Feb 05, 2015 12:56 PM GMT
    NeuralShock said
    Rene_Aensland saidTo find a boyfriend.

    ...why on Earth do you feel like you NEED a boyfriend.
    Jesus Christ, I'm not going to belittle you or anything, but the air you breathe and the actions that you cause shouldn't be for the mission of finding a boyfriend.
    Jesus Christ, do shit for YOURSELF for once in a change.

    I need one because I want to be cuddled and held, and because I want to prove a particular someone drop dead wrong about me and show him and those who doubt I can move on that I can move on.

    It isn't as simple as everyone would like to boil it down to where I just want ass- I have no issue getting guys to want a fuck/overnight. But the issue is I want a relationship.

    I want to prove everyone wrong, that I CAN be loved, that I am worth loving and that I will move on from the bullshit that I've endured.

    And I am doing a lot for myself, but I want to prove everyone who doubted my ability to move on wrong.


    Might I suggest an intensive session of reassessing your priorities?

    If you're looking for a relationship just to be in a relationship, you're probably in that game for the wrong reasons.

    If you're working out or learning a martial art to facilitate finding a relationship, you are almost certainly in that game for the wrong reasons.

    If you're looking for a relationship to make a point to someone, even yourself, you're definitely in that game for the wrong reasons. And you may end up hurting someone.

    You want to be cuddled and held? All well and good. But what are you going to do for this other person, aside from use them like a knick-knack that one takes off the shelf to show off to others and stimulate their own aesthetic sense whenever they feel the need?
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    Feb 05, 2015 2:21 PM GMT
    Why would you take up MMA or BJJ to find a boyfriend?
    Why would anyone take up any sort of activity/hobby/whatever to find a bf?
    Do you expect people to do those sort of things because they want a bf too?
    You're delusional LOL

    And I quote all the guys above me: you should probably reassess your priorities.

    No offense meant but your idea makes absolutely no sense.
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    Feb 05, 2015 2:50 PM GMT
    I would not go there to find a boyfriend.

    However, I would take your boyfriend there ;)
  • ATLANTIS7

    Posts: 1213

    Feb 05, 2015 4:42 PM GMT
    Should I eat Spinach Today?
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Feb 05, 2015 5:12 PM GMT
    Adam228 saidI would not go there to find a boyfriend.

    However, I would take your boyfriend there ;)

    Yep. Good advice. You should stop looking to others for validation. That never works. It has to come from within. And please, don't hurt some poor guy that you just want in order to show off to people who are hurting you. That's not fair to him. Then you become the bad guy.

    But! martial arts classes are fun and great exercise. I did Shotokan Karate for years and am thinking of getting back into it. But it's like the gym. Not a place to pick up guys. Though you might get lucky. Just don't go for that reason.
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    Feb 05, 2015 5:34 PM GMT
    LOL!!!

    Going to an MMA gym expecting to find same-sex love is like canceling an Atlantis cruise for fear of getting gay-bashed. Even at face value the idea defies logic.

    Your typical combat sport practitioner goes in with a "no homo" chip on his shoulder because of the "physical intimacy" involved. Wrestling in particular gets derided as a "gay sport" all the time, "guys grabbing at each other's crotches and butts and grinding their bodies together." Macho overcompensation is a consequence of that attitude. A fighter's essential accessories are an arm candy bimbo and gangsta tattoos. See what happens if you work out with some of those guys and then nervously ask one to go for coffee. It'd be putting it mildly to say that wouldn't end well.
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    Feb 05, 2015 7:45 PM GMT
    ATLANTIS7 saidShould I eat Spinach Today?
    If you believe in Popeye.
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    Feb 05, 2015 8:01 PM GMT
    Ummm.......as someone who has taken his fair share of Jiu Jitsu, let me explain something to you. You will not find a boyfriend there. It's full of closet cases, sure. But not boyfriend material.
  • NeuralShock

    Posts: 411

    Feb 05, 2015 10:49 PM GMT
    But I have to do something in order to get a boyfriend. I dong wanna be single and alone forever.

    I neeeeeeed to prove him wrong, that someone will love me.
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    Feb 05, 2015 11:51 PM GMT
    NeuralShock saidBut I have to do something in order to get a boyfriend. I dong wanna be single and alone forever.

    I neeeeeeed to prove him wrong, that someone will love me.


    You DO realize you're 23, right? icon_rolleyes.gif
  • NeuralShock

    Posts: 411

    Feb 06, 2015 12:05 AM GMT
    Radd said
    NeuralShock saidBut I have to do something in order to get a boyfriend. I dong wanna be single and alone forever.

    I neeeeeeed to prove him wrong, that someone will love me.


    You DO realize you're 23, right? icon_rolleyes.gif

    Yes I am called old by a lot of people :/ it makes me sad

    I am so scared I'll be single and alone forever now, really, I am.
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    Feb 06, 2015 12:11 AM GMT
    You need to learn how to be by yourself before you can be with somebody else.
  • NeuralShock

    Posts: 411

    Feb 06, 2015 12:25 AM GMT
    Italian_MS saidYou need to learn how to be by yourself before you can be with somebody else.


    I have become a lot of great things though, and I am missing a boyfriend and it is gnawing at me.
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    Feb 06, 2015 1:26 AM GMT
    NeuralShock saidBut I have to do something in order to get a boyfriend. I dong wanna be single and alone forever.

    I neeeeeeed to prove him wrong, that someone will love me.

    "neeeed" is the worst possible emotional state to be in if you are hoping to connect with someone. Neediness will drive everyone away except those who want someone to share their codependence. That would be no solution to your problem, to say the least.
    Everyone is advising you that you have to be complete and fulfilled IN YOURSELF before you can attract someone worth having. They are right.

    In the meantime, if you want to be cuddled and loved, get a dog.
  • chadwick1985

    Posts: 391

    Feb 06, 2015 1:35 AM GMT
    You are 23 not 90. You won't be alone forever. Just be patient and let nature take its course. Oh and taking up an MMA to find a boyfriend is stupid. If there are gay guys there very few will admit it, few will show it and likelihood of a relationship spurring from someone you meet there is very little. If you are lucky IF you are lucky you might get a fuck or two out of anyone who ends up being gay and that's it.
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    Feb 06, 2015 2:20 AM GMT
    NeuralShock said
    Italian_MS saidYou need to learn how to be by yourself before you can be with somebody else.


    I have become a lot of great things though, and I am missing a boyfriend and it is gnawing at me.


    Most of us understand the pain of "lonelyness" - but it will subside in time. Do things to become a better YOU, and you will meet more people that are on a similar wavelength. If you want it to happen just trust that it will and move forward with all the other things that make YOU happy - socially, physically, or alone. It's ok.

    You're a handsome young man - you will have loads of opportunities(!) - but don't use a sport or martial arts as a means/vector for meeting someone special. You will be bitterly disappointed.

    Also - the idea of "proving" you can find a boyfriend, etc. is an extremely infantile/insecure emotional concept. I implore you to drop it as soon as possible - it's extremely unhealthy for anyone around you - including yourself. It will poison your relations.
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    Feb 06, 2015 2:41 AM GMT
    NeuralShock said
    Radd said
    NeuralShock saidBut I have to do something in order to get a boyfriend. I dong wanna be single and alone forever.

    I neeeeeeed to prove him wrong, that someone will love me.


    You DO realize you're 23, right? icon_rolleyes.gif

    Yes I am called old by a lot of people :/ it makes me sad

    I am so scared I'll be single and alone forever now, really, I am.


    I really am starting to think you're a troll. Unless that town you live in in Canada is microscopic, I don't understand why you're having such a hard time meeting guys. It's not like you're ugly or anything. I'm twice your age and I could have a different guy over every night if I wanted to. Are you a total flamer or what? What's the deal here?
  • NeuralShock

    Posts: 411

    Feb 06, 2015 2:51 AM GMT
    Radd said
    NeuralShock said
    Radd said
    NeuralShock saidBut I have to do something in order to get a boyfriend. I dong wanna be single and alone forever.

    I neeeeeeed to prove him wrong, that someone will love me.


    You DO realize you're 23, right? icon_rolleyes.gif

    Yes I am called old by a lot of people :/ it makes me sad

    I am so scared I'll be single and alone forever now, really, I am.


    I really am starting to think you're a troll. Unless that town you live in in Canada is microscopic, I don't understand why you're having such a hard time meeting guys. It's not like you're ugly or anything. I'm twice your age and I could have a different guy over every night if I wanted to. Are you a total flamer or what? What's the deal here?

    I don't know why I can't find anyone. I AM having that hard of a time, I have an OKcupid profile, a POF profile and I am also using growlr.

    Nothing is working, this isn't me trolling.

    I have questioned if I am ugly but THESE PHOTOS, WHILE DOING ME ZERO JUSTICE don't even look bad. In person I am far better, so I am left here absolutely confused.

    I also am not a flamer, I like to workout and my voice isn't grating... a lot of people LIKE my voice.

    Idk what happened, what is going on, etc...

    I wonder if someone popular blackballed me