What makes an otherwise healthy and horny 49 year old man "loose his wood" in the timeframe of a couple of weeks?

  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Feb 08, 2015 4:45 PM GMT
    For almost seven years this man has amazed and gratified me with his sex drive and "bonerability" of a college kid. Once, twice, sometimes three times in one night was our normal routine.

    Even after jizzing he would stay hard, as he slept next to me.

    Almost as soon as I would walk into the room he would be popping an obvious boner. Friends have teased us both about it for years.

    Then, within a time period of about 3 weeks, he lost all erection capabilities.

    He assures me that he is not tired of me, not seeing anyone else, just suddenly has no interest in sex....with anyone.

    Could his excessive alcohol consumption and cigarette smoking finally produced this lack of desire? Or is he just at the age when the need and desire for sex disappears? And SO quickly?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 08, 2015 11:17 PM GMT
    D'uh.
    Off with him to a medical professional to have this checked out!!! Changes like that don't happen overnight. Something's wrong.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 10, 2015 1:15 AM GMT
    bhp91126 saidD'uh.
    Off with him to a medical professional to have this checked out!!! Changes like that don't happen overnight. Something's wrong.


    I agree. Could be the symptom of a serious health condition. Maybe a heart condition or an issue related to blood pressure. Try to convince him to see his physician - and the sooner the better.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 10, 2015 1:17 AM GMT
    heart issues... blood sugar issues... definitely worth getting checked out
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 10, 2015 1:29 AM GMT
    Not at all?
    or just not for multiple?
    speaking personally: I could go two and sometimes three times up till 40-43 then it went Down hill fast.
    I'm still good in a light breeze, smell of ginger meat, but only once, than nap.
    Hubby's not to happy about it, but it's not my fault he married older...sucker
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 10, 2015 2:12 AM GMT
    I feel like a loser. When my bf and I lived together, we had sex once a week (twice if frisky). Now that we're doing distance, it's once a month.

    In short, you guys are fine..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 10, 2015 2:41 AM GMT
    Im guessing its the booze and smoking.. icon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 10, 2015 2:49 AM GMT
    It's either a potentially serious health condition or there is something going on outside your relationship he's not telling you about. Low Testosterone does not happen that suddenly. If he refuses to see a doctor, I'd be concerned about him seeing another man.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 10, 2015 3:02 AM GMT

    Experts say:

    Check to see if he still gets morning wood without you touching him in any way. If you can discreetly observe his morning erection, there is no physical problem with ED. If you don't see his morning erection anymore, could be low-T or something 'mechanical' at issue, have him see his doctor, if however, you do see morning erection (testosterone at its highest peak) and he has lost sex drive at other times of the day or night, something is going on inside his mind. He is about to hit 50, maybe he has some anxiety going on? Stress of any kind usually kills the libido.

    I am surprised that his high sex drive lasted for most of his 40's which is rare itself. 40 is the magic number when things 'start to happen' to men, such as the need for reading glasses when eye sight is otherwise great. After 40 there needs to be a concerted effort to 'keep the energy (bunny) up' as I have found.

    Low-T is common, now everyone knows about remedy's in the age of the internet or Cialis works the best
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 10, 2015 3:58 AM GMT
    ELNathB said
    Experts say:

    Check to see if he still gets morning wood without you touching him in any way. If you can discreetly observe his morning erection, there is no physical problem with ED. If you don't see his morning erection anymore, could be low-T or something 'mechanical' at issue, have him see his doctor, if however, you do see morning erection (testosterone at its highest peak) and he has lost sex drive at other times of the day or night, something is going on inside his mind. He is about to hit 50, maybe he has some anxiety going on? Stress of any kind usually kills the libido.

    I am surprised that his high sex drive lasted for most of his 40's which is rare itself. 40 is the magic number when things 'start to happen' to men, such as the need for reading glasses when eye sight is otherwise great. After 40 there needs to be a concerted effort to 'keep the energy (bunny) up' as I have found.

    Low-T is common, now everyone knows about remedy's in the age of the internet or Cialis works the best


    Low Testosterone does not happen overnight. It happens slowly over the course of several years.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 10, 2015 5:20 AM GMT
    I'm experiencing the same. I feel like I have hit a wall, and wonder if I have ED, but then after reading some of the posts, I do get a morning wood still; however, when I'm trying to perform, it simply does not want to stay erect like it used to be and is a bitch maintaining. It's a blood flow issue I recognize, but damn it sucks getting old. I prefer cuddling, kissing, and caressing, than sex anyway, which is over rated in my book. But then, I'm easy to please. I wouldn't read too much into it because after age 21-22, it literally is all down hill from there. We will all get there eventually. Some of us faster than others. I have noticed that since I haven't been working out as much and taken less protein shakes, that my energy and T-levels have dropped, which could be a cause of my symptoms, but I'm convinced, that I'm just at the age where most men begin to lose that sex drive, and I'm not sure if I want to see the doc for a purple pill give-me-a-temporary erection fix, especially when I hear the commercials with all the possible side affects. Best wishes.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 10, 2015 6:56 AM GMT
    I agree with the consensus here. Morning wood is a good indicator of general functioning and health because it is a natural body function. It's normal to have an early morning erection. I am also wondering if he is taking any medications or herbal supplements. Some of them can have a detrimental effect on sexual functioning. If he started a new medication, i.e) antidepressants, for example, a 3 week period could greatly affect his ability to get an erection. If none of these are plausible, he should definitely go and see a doctor..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 10, 2015 11:29 AM GMT
    Radd said
    ELNathB said
    Experts say:

    Check to see if he still gets morning wood without you touching him in any way. If you can discreetly observe his morning erection, there is no physical problem with ED. If you don't see his morning erection anymore, could be low-T or something 'mechanical' at issue, have him see his doctor, if however, you do see morning erection (testosterone at its highest peak) and he has lost sex drive at other times of the day or night, something is going on inside his mind. He is about to hit 50, maybe he has some anxiety going on? Stress of any kind usually kills the libido.

    I am surprised that his high sex drive lasted for most of his 40's which is rare itself. 40 is the magic number when things 'start to happen' to men, such as the need for reading glasses when eye sight is otherwise great. After 40 there needs to be a concerted effort to 'keep the energy (bunny) up' as I have found.

    Low-T is common, now everyone knows about remedy's in the age of the internet or Cialis works the best


    Low Testosterone does not happen overnight. It happens slowly over the course of several years.


    Not really. There can be a sudden drop. Say over 3 months. Testosterone gels like Androgel can easily increase the levels to normal or above. Add in some Cialis or Viagra and he'll be good (or better!) than before.

    Over 40-50 it's fairly common.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 10, 2015 11:59 AM GMT
    Hiker98 saidI'm experiencing the same. I feel like I have hit a wall, and wonder if I have ED, but then after reading some of the posts, I do get a morning wood still; however, when I'm trying to perform, it simply does not want to stay erect like it used to be and is a bitch maintaining. It's a blood flow issue I recognize, but damn it sucks getting old. I prefer cuddling, kissing, and caressing, than sex anyway, which is over rated in my book. But then, I'm easy to please. I wouldn't read too much into it because after age 21-22, it literally is all down hill from there. We will all get there eventually. Some of us faster than others. I have noticed that since I haven't been working out as much and taken less protein shakes, that my energy and T-levels have dropped, which could be a cause of my symptoms, but I'm convinced, that I'm just at the age where most men begin to lose that sex drive, and I'm not sure if I want to see the doc for a purple pill give-me-a-temporary erection fix, especially when I hear the commercials with all the possible side affects. Best wishes.


    You're 36???

    That may be early for ED. My testosterone was low when I was 55 or so. A big surprise to me! So I took Androgel, but had to cut back right away as it was soon 2X normal.

    Other than an occasional issue there wasn't an ID problem.

    The purple pill is Nexium, Viagra is blue! Side effects are few and can be discontinued at any time. You can't do poppers (nitrates). Never liked em that much anyway.

    When I went on an antidepressant I asked for something "transparent" as I didn't want any performance issues. Welbutrin has been good.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Feb 10, 2015 5:06 PM GMT
    We had a long, coffee-fueled text message session this morning. He says that he is "bored with sex in general, not just with me but with anyone/everyone", that he is not seeing anyone else and has no urge to do so and that he can't even recall the last time he masturbated.

    Surely his 23 years as a paramedic and emergency room nurse are a huge part of this problem. The jaded, lackadaisical mindset and "emotionally unavailable" personality are both well documented symptoms of "The First Responder Syndrome". Of Course he doesn't "see this happening" to him....
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4434

    Feb 10, 2015 5:12 PM GMT
    rnch saidWe had a long, coffee-fueled text message session this morning. He says that he is "bored with sex in general, not just with me but with anyone/everyone", that he is not seeing anyone else and has no urge to do so and that he can't even recall the last time he masturbated.

    Surely his 23 years as a paramedic and emergency room nurse are a huge part of this problem. The jaded, lackadaisical mindset and "emotionally unavailable" personality are both well documented symptoms of "The First Responder Syndrome". Of Course he doesn't "see this happening" to him....

    That sounds like depression. THAT can hit fast and sometimes there's a trigger, like finances, a nasty boss, etc.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 10, 2015 6:44 PM GMT
    rnch saidWe had a long, coffee-fueled text message session this morning. He says that he is "bored with sex in general, not just with me but with anyone/everyone", that he is not seeing anyone else and has no urge to do so and that he can't even recall the last time he masturbated.

    Surely his 23 years as a paramedic and emergency room nurse are a huge part of this problem. The jaded, lackadaisical mindset and "emotionally unavailable" personality are both well documented symptoms of "The First Responder Syndrome". Of Course he doesn't "see this happening" to him....


    Oh yeah, I dated a friend who was also a cop. There seemed to be a lack of depth, or at least it was hard to get to.
  • tj85016

    Posts: 4123

    Feb 10, 2015 8:02 PM GMT
    Destinharbor said
    rnch saidWe had a long, coffee-fueled text message session this morning. He says that he is "bored with sex in general, not just with me but with anyone/everyone", that he is not seeing anyone else and has no urge to do so and that he can't even recall the last time he masturbated.

    Surely his 23 years as a paramedic and emergency room nurse are a huge part of this problem. The jaded, lackadaisical mindset and "emotionally unavailable" personality are both well documented symptoms of "The First Responder Syndrome". Of Course he doesn't "see this happening" to him....

    That sounds like depression. THAT can hit fast and sometimes there's a trigger, like finances, a nasty boss, etc.


    I agree, that or stress
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Feb 10, 2015 8:11 PM GMT
    bhp91126 saidD'uh.
    Off with him to a medical professional to have this checked out!!! Changes like that don't happen overnight. Something's wrong.


    Absolutely concur. It could evidence of something more serious going on. Even if not, get in there and see whats happening.
  • carew28

    Posts: 660

    Feb 10, 2015 9:27 PM GMT
    Hiker98 saidI'm experiencing the same. I feel like I have hit a wall, and wonder if I have ED, but then after reading some of the posts, I do get a morning wood still; however, when I'm trying to perform, it simply does not want to stay erect like it used to be and is a bitch maintaining. It's a blood flow issue I recognize, but damn it sucks getting old. I prefer cuddling, kissing, and caressing, than sex anyway, which is over rated in my book. But then, I'm easy to please. I wouldn't read too much into it because after age 21-22, it literally is all down hill from there. We will all get there eventually. Some of us faster than others. I have noticed that since I haven't been working out as much and taken less protein shakes, that my energy and T-levels have dropped, which could be a cause of my symptoms, but I'm convinced, that I'm just at the age where most men begin to lose that sex drive, and I'm not sure if I want to see the doc for a purple pill give-me-a-temporary erection fix, especially when I hear the commercials with all the possible side affects. Best wishes.



    With age, my ability to come to an orgasm (while jacking-off) has diminished, although my sex-drive is as strong as ever. You just have to substitute things like massage and affection for actual consummated sex, in order to achieve fulfillment. I've never had my testosterone level checked, but I know that it's lower than it was when I was younger. Especially noticeable once I passed 60. I'm not inclined to try testosterone supplements. Declining testosterone is a normal part of the aging process, and we all get old. I've thought about possibly trying Viagra or Cialis, but I just haven't been motivated enough. As you age, sooner or later, declining sexual performance is inevitable. It goes with the territory, and you just have to adjust to it. But the desire (sex-drive) is always there. If it's any consolation, even when you can't orgasm, you don't have that "blue-balls" aching feeling that you had when you were younger, and you don't ejaculate. Rather, it's just a sort of "oh well, maybe next time...." feeling.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 10, 2015 9:52 PM GMT
    rnch said
    Could his excessive alcohol consumption and cigarette smoking finally produced this lack of desire? Or is he just at the age when the need and desire for sex disappears? And SO quickly?

    Excessive drinking is a boner killer. So is disinterest, and also including medical problems that may need treatment.

    I started going soft when I developed prostate cancer. Now I'm,OK. Thing is, you wanna have your guy checked out medically first. And then you go from there.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 11, 2015 4:38 AM GMT
    rnch saidWe had a long, coffee-fueled text message session this morning. He says that he is "bored with sex in general, not just with me but with anyone/everyone", that he is not seeing anyone else and has no urge to do so and that he can't even recall the last time he masturbated.

    Surely his 23 years as a paramedic and emergency room nurse are a huge part of this problem. The jaded, lackadaisical mindset and "emotionally unavailable" personality are both well documented symptoms of "The First Responder Syndrome". Of Course he doesn't "see this happening" to him....



    Post Traumatic Stress Disorder? Did he recently witness something horrible on the job? Maybe the job itself is wearing him out, on call 24/7 sometimes? or shift work?

    PTSD is very common among military men returning from a battle zone, it can drive one bat shit crazy if not looked after. Suggest you discuss this with him, pronto. You may have to wait a few more weeks for a doctor visit

    Posttraumatic Stress Disorder
    http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/guide/post-traumatic-stress-disorder


    How Is PTSD Diagnosed?

    PTSD is not diagnosed until at least one month has passed since the time a traumatic event has occurred. If symptoms of PTSD are present, the doctor will begin an evaluation by performing a complete medical history and physical exam. Although there are no lab tests to specifically diagnose PTSD, the doctor may use various tests to rule out physical illness as the cause of the symptoms.

    If no physical illness is found, you may be referred to a psychiatrist, psychologist, or other mental health professional who is specially trained to diagnose and treat mental illnesses. Psychiatrists and psychologists use specially designed interview and assessment tools to evaluate a person for an anxiety disorder. The doctor bases his or her diagnosis of PTSD on reported symptoms, including any problems with functioning caused by the symptoms. The doctor then determines if the symptoms and degree of dysfunction indicate PTSD. PTSD is diagnosed if the person has symptoms of PTSD that last for more than one month.
  • venue35

    Posts: 4644

    Feb 11, 2015 10:18 AM GMT
    I know this guy who is 39 or 40. Well he has the most beautiful penis. He has been a pot smoker and cigarette smoker for years. He literally can't get a boner any more and it's a shame. He has switched to being a bottom because it doesn't get hard at all. Smoking all the time really does make your penis go limp. Sad how some people put smoking above everything else.