Anyone miss that youthful verve?

  • Eli_jah

    Posts: 1391

    Feb 10, 2015 3:26 AM GMT
    When you're young and dumb, and life is a blast, everyone you meet is interesting and fun, and your dreams are so vibrant you live them in your head.

    Over time you realize that the world is in chaos, people in general are self absorbed and not worth talking to, and you're probably not going to be the next great writer/singer/actor/dancer/porn star*

    Is this a part of "growing up"? Or a sign that one needs a change?

    *I guess this is a dream for some.
  • carew28

    Posts: 661

    Feb 10, 2015 9:52 PM GMT
    It could be a little of both, but mostly it's just a normal part of growing up.

    "Well, the years go by, and now the boy is twenty,
    And though his dreams have lost some grandeur coming true,
    There'll be new dreams, maybe better dreams, and plenty,
    Before that last revolving year is through."
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    Feb 10, 2015 10:00 PM GMT
    The opposite - as I get older I waste less time talking to boring people, trying to get them to like me. I feel happier to run with my crazy conspiracy theories, shocking jokes and mostly-pretend snobbery.
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    Feb 11, 2015 6:54 PM GMT
    I do believe that as people grow older, their hopeful fantasies slowly get replaced by the truth of reality. Sometimes that's not quite a bad thing though. The key to survival through such transition is to carry on your passion.

    For example, when I was way younger, I wanted to grow up to be a Famous Writer/Ultra Popstar/ Soldier Ant (yes I wanted to grow up to be an actual Ant--Ants are cool). As time passed by ,I learned the awful truth that I could never become a soldier Ant because it was impossible. Barring only of course, the less than likely possibility that someone creates a machine like the one in the movie "The Fly". Heres Hoping...

    More time Passed, and I learned even more things: I can't carry a tune to save my life, and my writing capabilities are subpar.

    But I live and I learn. I adjust my fantasies to become what is more attainable or I never let those interests and passions die. I won't be singing at sunset station, but I will be singing in my car and everywhere else. My writing may not win me a Pulitzer, but I enjoy the process and I still write despite that fact.

    Long story short, try your damnedest to never let that passion go away. Because that passion literally covers (probably) all other aspects of your life. Whether its helping the world become less chaotic, having faith that not all people are self absorbed, or continuing the stuff you love to do.





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    Feb 11, 2015 7:11 PM GMT
    Mulignan saidWhen you're young and dumb, and life is a blast, everyone you meet is interesting and fun, and your dreams are so vibrant you live them in your head.

    Over time you realize that the world is in chaos, people in general are self absorbed and not worth talking to, and you're probably not going to be the next great writer/singer/actor/dancer/porn star*

    Is this a part of "growing up"? Or a sign that one needs a change?

    *I guess this is a dream for some.


    At 59 years old life is STILL a blast! I enjoy people that are interesting and fun (I never thought they all were though).

    I draw and paint still. So definitely the vibrancy is still there.....in full color.

    I was always called "mature" when I was a kid. I have as much fun as I ever did.
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    Feb 12, 2015 6:37 AM GMT
    I don't think you loose that "verve" if you continue trying to accomplish things. Coming to the realization that people are just animals, and learning that your heros aren't all that heroic can knock you on your ass, but if you're actively pursuing life you should discover this bit by bit so that it's not a shock all at once.

    But you could also lose the "verve" then have a resurgence of "verve" at 65 and pen a bestseller or channel what you've learned from your failures at a music career to create the next big pop situation through someone else.

    It is said in the teaching of some artistic disciplines that structure and rules can inspire even more creativity. Just because the rose colored glasses come off, it doesn't mean, you can't dream of new things in this new reality.

    Also, the journey is not the same for all. Some go from no "verve" in hopeless situations growing up, to being full of hope and verve later in life through new experiences. It depends how the original picture of the future was painted for you and whether you had the wherewithal to scrutinize how it was constructed.
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    Feb 12, 2015 6:55 AM GMT
    Some people are born old and never have that "youthful verve." My youthful verviest, if that is a word, was probably between the ages of 15-25, when anything seemed possible.

    My mother was "young" up into her 80s. Perhaps it's genetic, I've retained my youthful spirit. I have my good as well as bad days but the good far outnumber the bad.

    Love to laugh and poke fun at this crazy world we live in.

    P.S. A lawyer I worked with when I was in college, Mary "Hannah" Leavitt, showed up at the company Xmas party with a Mickey Mouse charm on her pearl necklace. She never took herself too seriously. Funny as hell. Now she's a state commonwealth court judge.

    Life is a gift.
  • conservativej...

    Posts: 2465

    Feb 12, 2015 11:06 PM GMT
    Dream it. Live it. And always remember you are a Rebel.

    In doing so you will find that life is always satisfying.

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  • Svnw688

    Posts: 3350

    Feb 12, 2015 11:09 PM GMT
    Crack open a bottle and responsibly "take the edge off."

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    Feb 12, 2015 11:25 PM GMT
    Mulignan saidWhen you're young and dumb, and life is a blast, everyone you meet is interesting and fun, and your dreams are so vibrant you live them in your head.


    Wanna trade lives? I'd be glad to hand over hovering snooping Baptist parents, student loans, waiting on tables, living closeted, the whole nine. That la-la land shit ended with high school. And it started to fade before that.

    BUT I'm optimistic with one more year to go for a good degree and being able to move away from home. icon_smile.gif Even this site has started making me feel better. From what I can see things are gonna start looking up and life can be more kid-like soon.
  • Eli_jah

    Posts: 1391

    Feb 12, 2015 11:37 PM GMT
    GoCardinalsGo said
    Mulignan saidWhen you're young and dumb, and life is a blast, everyone you meet is interesting and fun, and your dreams are so vibrant you live them in your head.


    Wanna trade lives? I'd be glad to hand over hovering snooping Baptist parents, student loans, waiting on tables, living closeted, the whole nine. That la-la land shit ended with high school. And it started to fade before that.

    BUT I'm optimistic with one more year to go for a good degree and being able to move away from home. icon_smile.gif Even this site has started making me feel better. From what I can see things are gonna start looking up and life can be more kid-like soon.


    You wouldn't want my life, not in its current state, lol. We share the student loans and general poverty haha.

    Life will get a lot easier once you start earning a salary though, the degree will pay off in many ways.
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    Feb 14, 2015 7:28 PM GMT
    I think that losing those childish fantasies and realizing the world you live in today is good and bad. When you realize what the world is really like, and that your dreams probably aren't going to come true, that just causes you to go find something that you can do that you will love. That in itself is a moment of growth for you, and personally that experience can be good (it was for me). However, there are days when you look back on days in high school or whatever and wish you were back there where things were "simpler". People told you what to do, you knew where you were going to be for years, you had a life plan. When you leave high school, you just get thrown into real life and have to figure things out for yourself - which can be hard.

    The fact is that even though I sort of miss being younger and having wild dreams that I'd say "in ten years I'm going to make this happen", I'm very happy with where I've found myself now. That's the beauty of life - you get to figure out what road you're going to be on and you have control of it. You make yourself happy, even if it's not what you originally planned or dreamed. Don't worry, be happy icon_smile.gif
  • Jon_Alex

    Posts: 44

    Feb 15, 2015 2:29 AM GMT
    The verve changes. Yes, you realize that peoples' opinions aren't as interesting as you once thought... or at least not as unique.

    But you also become more comfortable with yourself. The reason why you thought all those people and situations were so fascinating is partly because you were unsure of your own identity.

    Solidifying your identity has its advantages. Hopefully it means you will become less afraid of certain things... more of an individual. This may give you a chance to develop other aspects of yourself that were stifled before.

    Of course there's always the risk that you'll grow crazier as you grow older too... that happens to some people because they go off the rails into their own world. They become weird because they close the door completely...

    For example, I'm 33 now but feel more confident than in my 20s. A little less inhibited. I care less too, but maybe I cared TOO MUCH before. I'm more willing to pass judgement on people now because sometimes I even want to be controversial. But maybe I was cowardly before. That ultra-sensitivity bordering on anxiety has slowly become relaxed. Now my goal is the good life, friends, drinks, sex, etc. In my 20s my goals were much weirder and abstract: being "great" at something, showing others that their beliefs were arbitrary and wrong in the face of analysis, etc. Internally I was combative. I'm still that way, but now I care less and so I just throw it out there... demonstrating my objection in the form of true nonchalance.

    I've filled out a little, so that means when I work out I don't stay so skinny. My body image is therefore leaps and bounds above what it was when I was 25.

    In sum, the world is not so much in chaos as it is in flux. I used to analyze it. Now I'm amused at the stiffness of others in the face of that change.